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 wildoutdoorguy
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 1
When asked to "tell me more about yourself"Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
A first contact might go something like this: "Hi. Tell me more about yourself."

So what should you do?

I'll tell you what not to do.-- Don't waste your time writing more than five or six sentences.

Why? Because most the people that ask you to tell them more about yourself, won't even write you back again. Not even to tell you thanks for doing what they asked. Not even to be courteous enough to say, "Thanks, but I don't think we're a good match. They are just dipping their wick in the oil for no other reason than they apparently have nothing better to do.

The genuine requests are usually more like: "I found your profile interesting and I think we have some things in common. Could you please tell me more about yourself." And then they sign with their name.

If a person doesn't sign with their name, I've found it's a waste of time to write them further. Anyone else experience this?
 BBQ Spider
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 2
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 11/28/2009 4:44:28 PM
They can't get your goat, if you don't let them know where you keep it.
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 3
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 11/28/2009 5:10:38 PM
Wow Wild! Women actually write to you?!

Most men on this site have never experienced such a thing. Consider yourself lucky, so to speak.
 canuck-in-oregon
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 4
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 11/28/2009 9:02:01 PM
Use the opportunity to write something completely crazy. Consider it a creative writing exercise. Write a paragraph using every single emoticon. Have FUN!
 ChristopherBrooks
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5
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History
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 11/29/2009 12:32:03 AM
Personally that kind of conversation should be done in person, but if your going to be asked that it's a great way to give her your phone number so you can have a more intimate conversation instead of just messaging back n forth
 shesacountrygirl
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 6
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 11/29/2009 3:47:12 PM
Personally the only time I'd ask someone tell me more about them on a first contact is if our interests match but they dont have much info in their profile to start a conversation with. I usually try to be more specific with what I'd like to know though.

Such a broad question would make me doubt interest.
 LoudSilence
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 7
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When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 12/3/2009 11:37:41 AM

Such a broad question would make me doubt interest.

!!
 unfisch
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 8
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/8/2010 5:05:40 PM
Tell me more is a lazy probe to a difficult question showing no interest..

Ive answered this long and short, with amazing reflections and with humor and any way you please.

There has NEVER been a reply..Not from any who ask this.

theyre clicking through the responses going ennie meenie, delete, tell me more, then they delete you on the next turn. (Im so tired of men trying to please and impress me, me oh my Im bored)

I respond only to inquiries that show genuine interest, Youre this or that, I see you appreciate such and so and this is how I am, so please, lets continue...

Some want to meet up right off but still cant manage a few minutes for meangful interaction..

"Tell me more" says dont bother..I see Im not the only one to expereince this pattern.

I just had a three word reply following up a mention of an amazing animal story..first I was going to pass, then I shared the whole thing Took half an hour writing up my amazing expereince, so surprising and revealing about animal consciousness..and no comment, just another three word request for another story..Not even a thank you.

Do you know Ive had people take my stories, pass them on and not even thank me, or acknowlege recieving them..

If only I had known beforehand who this sort of person would be..

How high can you jump, trained poodle!

Im not that kinda dog!
 wildoutdoorguy
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 9
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/9/2010 5:54:13 PM
Maybe a lot of the women that do what this thread talks about are just street women--as in girls who work laying down. Unfisch, if you would just offer them some money, instead of your stories, you might get lucky.

I'm beginning to think most of the women doing this internet dating (based not only on my experience, but from what I've heard from other men as well) get off somehow on playing there little head games. When someone finds one of them in an alley later, some might wonder, "Why her?" Girls and women have always teased or played hard-to-get with boys and men, but with the head games going on now, I can see how some men get pushed over the edge and certain women end up behind a garbage can.
 unfisch
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 10
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/9/2010 7:52:23 PM
actually I feel bad wild..this woman who asked for my story then replied, "tell me another"..not any thanks, or comment or word about what I wrote taking half an hour..

I said nope, no way, quite directly to her request and just said she was too shallow. I looked back and she deleted her profile entirely. I have no idea why. Kind of gave me pause.

She may be someone who is a little simple or extremely limited in writing ability, insecure or shy..She did appear to be totally thoughtless and selfish, just by appearances, and I'd say likely so. Who knows? I just hope I didnt damage or hurt someone.

On the other hand after one woman put me on favorites, then I mailed, she read the mail and still made no reply after about four days.. I just wrote politely to apologize for failing to interest her and to say I was moving on as I deleted myself from her favorites, nothing personal..WOAH, did she rip me a new face in ten minutes!! Of course NOW she had time, and as usual, her cat died, her mom had a stroke and the house burned down and yeah right, shes just what I thought, a jerk. Women choose and pick, men can wait..call you in december 2012 when your number comes up!

What theyre doing Wild, is storing walnuts..Theyre like squirrels counting their stash of men at the door like money in the bank, waiting till a slow day to give you a turn at a response...and its sick and its clear enough. BUT ITS NOT ALL OF THEM.

There absolutely are extremely genuine wonderful ladies out there needing the right guy and happy to find them. And theyre usually gone off the website IN A WEEK!..but theyre out there! They call if you send your number and will meet you and truly welcome a quality connection. Its a very small fraction of those online, many or most of whom are dating or not available to date or very inactive.

I may be in touch with a couple that are actually for real right now. Many seem to have had new years resolutions!

In my expereince, the longer theyre here, the less likely theyre actually available or truly active. Just calmly awaiting the truly saint francis of a soul who happens to be a fortune 500 CEO. Just as you and I are awaiting someone compassionate and caring who also is very attractive..thin and youthful..

People only use the power that others give to them. The men have created what women are, and the women have created what men have become..You dont need to get sucked into that whirlpool of damage.

(I dont leave my profile online. You just get 'shopped' by the window shoppers, and thats the passtime of women right...picking and choosing.) I say hi and if theyre unwilling to do the work of a meaningful exchange, Im not going to meet. But if they are Ill drive to Seattle and/or do whatever it takes..Actually I did that Seattle trip to meet a Canadian woman and we came very close to partnering up. I cant praise that lady enough! Awesome human being!! And we had some great times last summer.

Finding good ones is more work than a PhD, but its worth it..and if you become bitter..then you have your answer in what you are..its all over for you.
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 11
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When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/10/2010 12:51:31 AM
Delurk/
Unfisch,
I think you nailed it when you wrote:
"People only use the the power that others give to them. The men have created what women are, and the women have created what the men have become... You don't need to get sucked into that whirlpool of damage"
A whole lot of truth in that statement.

Wildoutdoorguy,
Do you really believe that a woman that is assaulted 'caused' her own assault because she might have "played mind games"? Do you have so little control over yourself that you'd allow a woman to provoke you to violence? How would you react to a guy that might assault your Daughter, Mother or Wife (provided the Lord lets you find another) if he felt like they had played mind games on him? What would you say those women in your life?
[ "Gee daughter, you should have told him "No" seven or eight more times before he raped you. You weren't really trying that hard, were you daughter?"]
Me thinks your smoking too much old testament. Really.
Gemguy

Relurk/
 shesacountrygirl
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 12
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:09:45 PM
Ok to get back on track since this has turned into.. well hazardous to men's health thread..

Something I've noticed with why I ask someone to tell me more about themselves.. they don't give me anything to go on in their reply.

No active dialogue (authors should understand this part of it) to keep the emails moving forward. I can't count the number of times where I'll get a reply that leads literally nowhere unless I use my imagination.

I guess that would be another form of just plain not interested. One word replys and no leading questions to further conversation.

awesome... just doesn't scream "write me back"
 wildoutdoorguy
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 13
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/10/2010 9:47:20 PM
Gem, My point was that women that mess with men's heads shouldn't be surprised if they mess with the wrong guy, something terrible happens. I'm not talking about myself.

We've all seen plenty of the violence done to women on tv shows and in real life. But the fact is, there are women whose actions have led to what was done to them. If they mess with the wrong head, they may end up dead. It's just how it is. What amazes me is that so many women feel safe messing with guys heads. Sooner or later, the odds say, some of them will mess with the wrong head. And the rest of us will get to read that they are missing or dead.

For you to infer that I was saying women in general deserve (or cause) the bad things that men do to them, isn't reading me correctly. But I can appreciate how a guy could get angry enough to hurt the game players.
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 14
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When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:05:19 AM
Delurk/
W.O.G.,
That wasn't what I parsed from your comments. I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth and I wasn't inferring you were violent. While we agree that women can set a stage that can lead men to act out violently, I don't cut those men any slack in their behavior degenerating into violence. That is where we part company. It might be a fact that some women have deliberately put drama into a relationship. I think you are coming up with an incorrect "blame" for the results. You're assuming that the woman's intention is provoke violence from the man. That's assuming a lot. It is not a social norm for guys to act out violently with women.

Which natually begs questions like:
Could you clarify how a woman could judge how much game playing is too much and how much game playing is flirting? Or what constitutes game playing exactly? Or how much violent should done in proportion to the amount of game playing? Or should guys prone to "breaking" by game playing women, have a "profile" like they do for other violent criminals and women need to "profile" each of their male contacts?

My concern W.O.G., is that the way you phrase it, women are at fault for not anticipating that every guy they come into contact with has the potential to sexually assault/murder them. Do you really want all women to think they're a target and you're (we're) the bullet? I would prefer that women exercise due caution when meeting with unfamiliar men and judge further interaction on the man's behavior. Wouldn't you, since women can carry concealed too? I'm all for calm women with guns.

W.O.G. I too appreciate that having someone "mess with your mind" is indeed bad, I don't attach a gender to it. Yes, I know you're talking 'specifically' about male/female interactions. I just don't think the type of interactions you're referring to are so different than other social situations. They are certainly more personal, but really are they that much different than other situations? The guy that acts out with a woman is also the guy that would act out in many other situations. Let's put blame where blame is due, W.O.G.

I'd like to tell you a story of a female friend of mine that relates to this topic. She's an intelligent, pretty lady about my age and dated a younger guy well over a year ago. They had a brief (month or so) relationship, but they both agreed it wouldn't "work". They mutually ended the relationship. Ever since she broke it off with the guy, he has texted, emailed and attempted to call her cell phone multiple times a week. For the last year. She swears she hasn't responded in any way to his actions, she has had a boyfriend for the last year and wouldn't want to jeopardize that relationship. Yet, he continues. She had no idea that this guy would turn into a problem like this. No prior history of this behavior (admitted by him) that could have given her a clue. How would you conclude that she had a part in his actions? I'm really curious about your reply.
Gemguy
Relurk/
 wildoutdoorguy
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 15
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:58:56 AM
Gem, She didn't have a part in his actions. He's obviously got some serious issues. The kind of woman I'm talking about is the kind that takes pleasure in getting a man worked up in all the wrong ways. And yes there are women like that. It is their way of having control over guys. Obviously they have just as big of issues as the guys they mess with.

Of course, most of us have issues, but at the same time, most of us manage to walk away or move on when it's obvious a situation is headed the wrong direction.
 BlueEyedAriesGuy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 16
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/16/2010 11:55:15 AM
No, I haven't experienced that. And this has turned from "women don't write me back" to just plain disturbing. So someone asked you to tell you more about yourself. Apparently you've been asked that a few times and most of the people didn't write back afterwards. How many times have people actually requested this? From the way you make it sound, it would seem like a lot. And I don't know what you said, but if was anything like "women that mess with men's heads shouldn't be surprised if they mess with the wrong guy, something terrible happens," it's no wonder they didn't respond back. And the "I'm not talking about myself" doesn't exactly help.

So genuine requests usually end with signing with their name? I can't remember anyone ever having signed their name in a message to me. Why would someone even bother writing in the first place if they weren't interested, let alone asking for more about you? Maybe they got some bad vibes. "When someone finds one of them in an alley later, some might wonder, "Why her?" Girls and women have always teased or played hard-to-get with boys and men, but with the head games going on now, I can see how some men get pushed over the edge and certain women end up behind a garbage can." Of course, again, you don't mean yourself. The reason this is so disturbing is because of what your thinking process and end scenario is. Women not writing you back>messing with your mind>women who mess with men's minds>might meet wrong man>could end up dead. That's chilling.

You say you can appreciate how a guy could get angry enough to hurt the game players. Again, we're talking about people not writing you back. How can you possibly equate that with someone's potential death? "The kind of woman I'm talking about is the kind that takes pleasure in getting a man worked up in all the wrong ways." All the wrong ways being what, exactly? From what you describe your experience as being here so far, there hasn't been enough communication to get anyone worked up over anything. So the wrong ways are? Being turned down or blown off? People not writing back?

The strange thing is, you'd only been here for a month when you wrote this. Your post, "Internet Dating: The epitome of window shopping" was about the same kind of thing and was made only 6 weeks into your membership. You sure seem to be having a lot of troubles for someone that hasn't been here very long -2½ months in total now. I can't imagine there being enough to have happened for either post to be made, let alone the level of bitterness displayed. So maybe you've been dissed a few times. It happens to all of us, trust me. And it's not a very cool thing. But most of us don't talk about being blown off and women dying in the same instance. Truly disturbing.
 wildoutdoorguy
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 17
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/16/2010 2:09:57 PM
blue-eyed, you must be some self-righteous hick. Why don't you pay attention to all the comments made by others who have dealt with this same scenario. But hey, your having to grovel on this internet thing too, so I guess you must not be the perfect catch either.

And this isn't the only online dating site, nor does a person's current membership date say anything about his or her past memberships under the same or other usernames. Maybe you're one of those guys that gets off on having your head messed with. From the guys (and women too) I've talked to, no decent person appreciates it.
 killene
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 18
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/18/2010 7:48:42 PM
When all you have is a picture and one or two sentences its nice to know why the person wrote to you.
Got a message the other day saying they liked my profile and pic and said we had some things in common. looked at their profile with their 2 sentences that really said nothing and did ask.....what they felt we had in common and could they tell me a bit more about themselves.
Hey its nice to know what it is that someone might think one has in common with you.
 Summisse
Joined: 1/5/2010
Msg: 19
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/20/2010 1:41:44 AM
Wildoutdoorguy- While I may sympathize with the feelings of frustration this kind of interaction must cause for the person who takes the time to respond in depth to such a request...this or any other behavior which is perceived by a male as game playing does not justify sexual assault of any kind. To take the opposite side of this, there are plenty of males who "play games" with females which cause similar frustration and righteous indignation/anger...but I do not think anyone would suggest that said male then deserves to be sexually assault by a foreign object, or to have their genitalia mutilated, or suffer some other act which will scar him for life.

The temporary wounding of an ego and passing frustration to the libido is not equal to a violent act which will undoubtedly cause irrevocable damage to another individual. Even though...I am certain it is possible one may "feel" the two can be equated in the heat of the moment.

I can understand the intention was not to imply you would engage in such a behavior, but the mere suggestion is reprehensible and offensive on several levels.

I refuse to accept the idea that a male can just be pushed to the point where he has no choice but to rape a woman. I do not think that little of my male peers.

So really to get right to the point, I can agree...it is uncouth and the person who engages in this sort of thing for the benefit of his/her own ego is a miscreant in my book...I cannot agree with the other statements made in your postings.
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 20
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When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/20/2010 11:25:02 PM
/Delurk/
WildO.D.Guy,
As strange as this might sound , I'm sure if we met and had a beer(s) - we'd have a good time. With that in mind, let me say this : Come on Man, don't sound so *#@&ing depressed.
[ But hey, your having to grovel on this internet thing too, so I guess you must not be the perfect catch either.]
Groveling is generally not a good thing unless you're the one being groveled to and that's not even a given. For your information, I'm not here to grovel to anyone. Haven't met too many women worth that act. :-) Hopefully, you're not really here to grovel either Wild. By the choice of your words you really sound like you don't want to be doing this (internet thing) and might be secretly hoping a wonderful woman just drops into your lap. If I might, I would respectfully offer that you seek council in your faith and draw your strength from knowing Christ and his works. This dating thing is only an ordeal if you make it one and think of it as such. More importantly, women are NOT the enemy. I can only hope that if your daughter was assaulted for any reason, you'd be supportive of HER - rather than her attacker.
Give yourself some time after this problematic relationship you had a while back and stop trying to date, 'cause you won't be having much luck with your present attitude.
HTHs

/Relurk/
 bjswafford61
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 21
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 1/24/2010 11:11:00 AM
I found your profile interesting and I think we have some things in common. Could you please tell me more about yourself." And then they sign with their name.
Oh my name???? you know my name
 euphoriaholic
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 22
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 6/26/2011 11:12:19 AM
some scary people on this site..............don't rant if you can't stand the raves. that's the way it is..
 imthebomdotcom
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 23
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 8/10/2011 11:16:37 AM
tell them all about your required medication and your house arrest bracelet. then tell them you'd love to chat but you really have to run because it's time to check your 83 house cats for ticks...
 Chase7601
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 24
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History
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 8/10/2011 6:20:06 PM
I gotta share this- I got an e-mail from a gal the other day, so I checked her profile out before I even opened opened it. In the profile , I was attracted by what she said, really into communication, talking is important, must get to know you, etc.. etc..


Guess what her massage said?


Hi.



 bdogindahous
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 25
When asked to tell me more about yourself
Posted: 2/9/2012 10:58:19 PM
I have written a few requested stories and never received a reply. One woman seemed so interested and excitedly requested a story. At some point I began to think that p.o.f. planted her to ask for a story. I have noticed that at certain times when I am not on or haven't received e-mails for awhile, it seems like p.o.f. tries to raise my spirits somehow. When you were asked to tell them a story, how did it make you feel? I hear a lot of uptight people crying that someone didn't answer them. Keep obliging to write a story or say hi, keep your spirits high, and never give up.

Tell at least 3 people a day to "have a great day".
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