| Cultural Differences and Love
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:50:20 AM | I was raised in a family where there was no room for prejudice. It was just not tolerated. I was free to date or hang out with anyone I wanted reguardless of race or religion. I have kept this attitude in my adult life and have passed it on to my children. So I am not sure how to start this thread....but I will try.
I have been dating a man for almost two years that is Native American. He is awsome and treats me with respect. Obviously, I love him or I would not still be with him. My problem is the cultural differences. He was raised on his reservation and his culture is very different from mine.
First, he respects all women, (they are sacred) but he finds it hard to "openly" talk. When I want to discuss something, I raise my voice (not yelling) and say what I really feel. He just looks at me and smiles.
We live in two separate houses because if we move in together, "that is not living in a good way."
Another thing that bothers me is when he leaves a room, or goes outside, he doesn't say anything. Such as if he is going to bed, he gets up and goes to bed, he doesn't say good-nite, kiss my butt, or anything. Then an hour later I go looking for him and he's gone to bed. I ask "why didn't you just say you were going to bed?" He looks at me like I am crazy. I was in a store and ran into a friend and started talking and I turned around and he was gone. He just went outside to wait and didn't say anything. I'm looking all over the store for him and he is standing outside next to the car. It just drives me crazy!
Then there is the food. Believe it or not. He will take a bowl of bean soup and fry bread over a steak anyday. I like variety, he likes his soup.
My best girlfriend is also Native American and she tells me thats just the way Indian men are. (This is actually her Uncle.) He is a quite man and really reserved, but I sometimes wonder if the cultural differences will be the end of us.
Any suggestions on how to make this better for me...it doesn't seem to bother him. | |
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| Cultural Differences and Love
Posted: 7/12/2005 4:33:04 PM | | If he's so comfortable in the relationship that he can be himself, that's great actually.That's what i'm aiming for It has nothing to do with culture.He's awesome and treats me with respect,me and a zillion other women will say 'vive la difference'. | |
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| Cultural Differences and Love
Posted: 7/12/2005 8:57:33 PM | I could very well just say that there is no way to get past cultural differences....but that is just the easy way out.
If you say vive la difference...you are saying..I am willing to settle and not truly be happy.
He stepped outside his culture to find himself with you did he not? He obviously new he was going to be someone far different then the woman of his own culture.
Love is a game of give and take..of sacrifices... You may have to follow some of his culture, but at the same time he also needs to accept some of your own. If you simply say vive la difference then he will never have the motivation to meet you half way | |
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| Cultural Differences and Love
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:14:51 PM | After I had already posted this thread, I did some soul searching. Its funny now that I read it....he's a good man, with a kind heart, but he has his ways, and I guess I'm just looking for perfection. I just want to "tweek" a few things and make it more wonderful. We do meet each other half way. I'm an extravert and he is an intervert. Like they say, opposits attrack. I'm sure I do a few things culturally that drive him crazy, he just doesn't let it bother him like it bothers me. I do attend cultural events with him and enjoy them very much, and he has attened cultural events with me.
So..sorry...I should have never of posted this. I'm such a ditz....Don't know a good thing when I got it!
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