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 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 1
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BullyingPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi,
My son is 11 years old and is getting continuously bullied at school and at his local youth club.
I keep speaking to the school and they do have words with this child, but within days he's back to the bullying.
At the youth club, they all seem to target him and either smack him whenever he walks past, take his basketball or anything he has, and they continue to tell him that one day on his way home, they will follow him and 'get him'.
My son tells the youth workers who have words with these kids and sometimes even kick them out..but this is now happening on a daily/weekly basis and ive got to the stage where id rather he didnt go to his club.
I either stop him going, send his 16yr old sister and her b/f to the club to 'warn' these kids, or get hold of them myself. Im at a loss of what to do and so angry that these awful brats are getting away with this behavior.
Any advice is truly appreciated. Thanks x
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 2
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Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 1:39:07 PM
I don't know what the rules are in the UK. But here in Canada, I stopped the kids bullying my son. I taught him to fight... by the time he was 13, he could defeat an adult... At the same time, I taught him to only use it as a last resort... he got more confident and the other kids picked up on it... now he's older and popular because he was able to stand up to them...

In your situation, this may or may not be an option... get another person to train him or enroll him in a martial arts course...

That being said, hee in Canada, the police can intervene.... the bullying kids can be charged with assault... threatening the school or youth group with police involvement is often a good way to make them sit up and take notice and act quickly....
 *nats*
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 3
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 2:04:51 PM
I agree with the above poster. Get your son enrolled in something that will enable him to defend himself and also give him a major confidence boost.

It's very difficult when your child is being bullied, one of my friends has been going through the same thing with her daughter and I've also been through it with my own daughter. In my case the school were absolutely superb and with problems outside school I actually phoned the police on one occasion when she was threatened on the way home from school and chased down the street.

If the school is continually failing to ensure that children are not bullying then it's time to call the local council, speak to the Education department and put in a complaint. Ring the local police and ask them to get involved with the local youth club (community officers).
 glamazon girl
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 4
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 3:00:45 PM
Oh man, I feel like I could write several chapters on it myself. My 11 year old has been bullied since the first grade. He was a Navy kid which meant he was often the new kid. Plus he is extremely sensitive & takes everything to heart so when someone would tease him, he'd cry openly which gave these little jerks more reason to pick on him. This would happen at school, on the school bus and at the YMCA (where he went after school). I had to teach him to defend himself but with the rule that he is to never start the fight or throw the first punch.

At the start of this school year, he was in a minor verbal argument with one of the bullies. When he turned his back the other coward punched hm in the back & shoved him into a row of lockers. My son got up, turned around, gave him a bloody nose and knocked out a tooth. He was suspended for retailiating but I told the principal that I fully supported my son for standing up to an attacker. He hasn't been bothered by anyone since. I DO NOT advocate violence but, he had to learn that it was ok to defend himself and that I would support him. It also helped that he's been at this school for almost 3 years now & participates in several sports with some of these kids so they're getting to know him now.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 5
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Posted: 12/9/2009 4:45:00 PM
Here in Tampa it's a tough city and there are police at the school everyday, all day.
 midlandtom
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6
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Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 4:49:28 PM
Gals can cry because of taht boys should fight and be able to kick someone's ass to the best of their age ability. Kids love to bully other kids on whom they feel insecurities. Apparentlt they recognize those in securities in 2 different establishments. You need to teach him how to position himself properly.
 Wiyan
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 7
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 5:12:45 PM
do a thread search on bullying. There was a great thread on 'off topic' about it. Good luck OP!
 MsBeave
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 8
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 7:12:09 PM
Eleven is a rough age, I know my oldest son suffered at the hands of bullies until I took action. Unfortunately I raised my oldest to be passive and polite, which was a disservice to him and it took a few years to undo my mistake. It's not easy for a woman to teach a boy how to be a man but it can be done with help.

I started to show my son how to deal with conflict and bullies, when someone acted like an ass to us, I told them so politely but efficiently. It reached the point where my youngest son was telling me to behave lol. But it got my point across that bullies hate conflict when it's about them. I told my son when a bullies starts with you, make a scene, swear, make fun of his need to touch him and talk to him, tell him you don't like him that way. And I promised all my boys, I would always have their back if they were being bullied and reacted in a way that got them in trouble. Principals reached the point they would rather resolve the problem then have to call me because I'd redirect the problem to their lack of management of the school.

I also got my son involved in sports that are very male oriented, like boxing and lacrosse. A boy who can protect himself rarely has to prove it, the confidence shines through. And I volunteered at my kids activities, even occasionally because it makes the kids more confident and lets the bullies know you could show up at anytime.

Joining man sports can be rough in the beginning because the guys don't automatically include the new guy but it's a good learning experience. Don't let him quit because once he learns the man rules to friendship..his life will be much easier.

Sending your daughter and her friends will only inflame the situation or worse they will get in trouble but I do understand your frustration. I once told a boy who beat my son badly, if he touched my son again, I'd go to his home and make an example of his mother. It was inappropriate and only a temporary solution because when my boy moved to high school a new batch of bullies started. But when he started high school he had boxing under his belt and put a stop to it immediately.

Good luck.
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 9
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Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 10:39:51 PM
My sons a sweet passive boy by nature. The girls love him, the boys find him odd. He makes friends with the new boys or the ones who also get bullied. His teachers love him so much? one even cried when he changed class. Guess thats our problem.
He has bad sight also, is due to have an operation sometimes this year..the kids know this and use it as a weapon. He has poor co-ordination (not terribly-is just a bit 'gangly?), and although in some sense he's a boys boy-ie climbing trees, likes basket ball etc..he has never really fitted in with other boys his age.
Im hoping that once he's had the op for his eye, they might leave off-though i fear this wont happen. He is due to start high school in sept and then it'll prob get worse. I will try some of your suggestions though...perhaps he would benefit from marshal arts classes? it may give his confidence a boost if nothing else.
It unfair though and makes me cry-what right do these kids have?
Thank you for your responses xx
 Ezbthdrcy
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 10
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 10:57:37 PM
Hi Miss muppet!
I'm very sorry that this is happening to your son, as somebody that's gone through bullying- I know how much it hurts.
People say that it's easier for girls but it's really not, I grew up in the big city, you were either predator or prey.
Onto your son's situation, definitely get him enrolled in some martial arts classes. They *will* improve his coordination, they'll teach him to stand up for himself but besides that, he'll get to make friends with more confident, athletic kids.
Especially as he's going into high school, he'll need a little something to make sure that his middle school troubles don't follow him onward. And trust me when I say that high school kids are much more vicious.
Teach him that his eye problems don't matter, an operation will solve that and besides, as I once told my brother- chicks dig the mysterious wounded types

Good luck and if you have any questions don't hesitate to email!

Trust me, once you go through it- it really does make you a stronger person.
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 11
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Posted: 12/10/2009 12:03:29 AM
Thank you :) my eldest daughter was bullied when she first started high school and we went through 2 years of pure hell-but it was different. No one expects girls to attend martial arts classes, they use their mouths to fight back. Luckily, standing her ground, and moving class changed her life for the better and now at 16, she's popular, confident etc and ever so happy.
Its different for boys though-not harder as such..just different and one ive not come across untill now. Ive just mentioned karate to my son and he seems positive about that..your right, if anything it will certainly help the co ordination.
Thanks again x
 OSUguy99
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 12
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 1:17:30 AM
you could always hire some guy to infiltrate the school as a janitor and ambush said bully in the head with a bat and some pliers.
 lets fish!
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 13
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 4:03:22 AM
OP, I had this problem with my eldest for several years. A certain group at her school would tear her uniform, rip her books, twice they threw her keys into the local lake and eventually beat her up in the girls loo's.

I couldn't tell you how many times I was called out of work to go and pick her up and then she started avoiding it all together, her grades suffered, she lost weight and was in a depressive, self conscious state.

I was FURIOUS with the school as they held the old fashioned attitude 'kids will be kids'.

I was getting nowhere.

I tried talking to the parents, talking to my child, talking to the school, a counselor, and finally, the police.

Eventually I moved and changed her school and she's as happy as Larry these days. Her marks at school are great and she has a large network of friends and sporting achievements under her belt.
By far the best thing though, is her personality has been able to shine through without all the self doubt and fear that was constricting her.

I wish you all the best and hope your boy comes through it as he grows. Changing schools isnt for everyone and its a pretty drastic move (It helped that I was offered a transfer as well however..).

Good luck!
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 14
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 5:40:07 AM
There have been some really good threads on bullying...definately do a thread search on the topic.

Bullies do target anyone who is intimidated by them. The simplest solution is to have your son's confidence built up. If he walks with confidence, he won't become a target in the first place. Unfortunately, it is too late for that because he has become a target.

Now he needs to face off against the bullies and show them he won't be pushed around like that. Enrol him in some self-defense classes so he learns how to defend himself and to put someone on their ass. When he is ready, he will do just that and the problem will go away. It is called "playground justice" here in Canada. It is guaranteed to work.....it has worked for generations. In the current climate of PCness, it is outwardly frowned upon by the school system but if they aren't fixing the issue, they are part of the problem anyway.

My son was bullied in grade 3. We talked to the teacher, nothing changed. We talked to the Principal, nothing changed. I told my son to push the bully back, he did and the bully stopped bullying him. He was targetted again in grade 7 by a former friend because of a incident that happened that resulted in them not being friends anymore. He knocked the kid down on his ass in a puddle of water...the kid never bothered him again. He was punished in grade 3 by the school....but in grade 7, he went to the office and "confessed" to the Principal what he did and why he did it....he wasn't punished but the kids he pushed into the puddle was.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 15
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Posted: 12/10/2009 9:41:21 AM
Personally, I completely disagree with those who say to teach him to physically fight back, simply because violence is NOT the way to solve these types of problems. I mean, when he reaches adulthood, you surely don't want him walking around with that mentality. My brothers grew up that way and one of them not only had criminal charges filed, but also a very expensive civil suit for fracturing some mouthy little guy's skull and facial bones. He spent a year in prison and it took him many more years to finally pay all of the fines & restitution for the guy's medical expenses and pain & suffering. It was a very hard lesson to learn. So, all of you pro-violence people might wanna start saving money now, so that when/if the child that you encouraged to be a fighter ends up putting someone in the hospital, you'll have money to pay the civil suit and court fees that will follow.

Bullies tend to target certain individuals, but it sounds like there's not just one "bully" targeting your son. You say that he's a nice kid, but is it possible that he is instigating these actions? Growing up, the only kids that I remember getting "picked on" by lots of other kids were the ones that constantly & purposely irritated them. Then their reactions were as a direct result of the "victim's" actions. No offense, but maybe your son is one of those kids who, for whatever reason, feels the need to "bother" other kids? I know as parents, we don't want to think of our children as being this way, but perhaps you need to step back and take a different look at what's been going on. Especially if it's been happening for a long time and with different "bullies" in different venues.
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 16
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Posted: 12/10/2009 10:14:11 AM
Navigator, i completely understand your point about some kids irritating others and ive had this chat with my son-im not blind to how kids can be, nor biased because he's my child.
No my son does not irritate..he is a good kid who tries to fit in. This bullying stemmed (im sure) from pre school when there was one particular child with serious behavior issues. This child now attends my sons school several years later and still remembered my son and started bullying him-it caught on as yes-my son doesnt fight back and has the eye issue.
Also i dont know if i believe in the fighting back or not..again you raised a valid point-that being said, there's proof that fighting back works so who knows whats right. I do think that martial arts/self defence classes teach confidence and help co-ordination so will be looking into that.

Finally, the main bully is already a very well known trouble maker within the school and has been warned about his behavior. My son isnt his only target but does seem to be his main one.

Thanks again guys and yes will go through some of the other bullying threads.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 17
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Posted: 12/10/2009 12:33:18 PM

Also i dont know if i believe in the fighting back or not..again you raised a valid point-that being said, there's proof that fighting back works so who knows whats right.

Proof? Other than what some have written here, where is there proof that physical violence against bullies works? I'm more than pretty sure that every child psychologist & behavioral specialist would refute your claim. Meh... who are ya gonna believe, though - a bunch of strangers from a dating site or trained, educated professionals?
 MsBeave
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 18
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 12:55:07 PM
My education is Social Development and Psychology my views are based on education and life experience. I don't condone violence but there are times when a kid has no choice but to defend their body. Not all bullies are looking to just tease the potential victim, some are sadists who get pleasure from causing harm. The key to teaching your children to protect themselves is also teaching them self discipline to know when to stop.

You're belief that most kids bring it on themselves is similar to suggesting a woman who is beaten by her abusive spouse was asking for it.

I do believe empowering your children by providing opportunities to increase their confidence is the key but to suggest violence is never the answer is narrow minded. A kid who punches a bully in face during physical confrontation is much better then the kid who goes home and hangs himself out of hopelessness. Bullying has changed since we were kids, go to a local high school and watch the pecking order, watch what the bullied kids have to endure.

And schools aren't equip to deal with bullies because rarely the parents of the bully see a problem or refuse to admit they have a child with problems.
 Ezbthdrcy
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 19
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 2:56:20 PM
Navigator: while you do raise some very valid points, what you have to realize is that those trained professionals often have no idea about how freaking cruel kids can be to one another. So yeah, he'll go to a teacher. He'll go to his mom, he'll go a principal. How long can he keep asking authority figures to step in?

Besides, the rules of the "playground"-> the more you tattle to teachers the worse off you'll be. So even if you get one kid to stop bullying your child, you'll have three others waiting to take up the mantle cause they know the child won't do anything to defend themselves.

An example of worse case scenario: middle of grade seven, this kid John transferred to our school. Nice normal guy to the teachers, got really good grades- principal loved him. All the kids knew though that he was a vicious little mothe7****er, (sorry for the language), he dealt drugs after school, he used to bully people horribly. He took it upon himself to really mess up our classmate's Sasha's life, made him cry every day. Stole his money, banged him around. So Sasha went to the teachers, they talked to John once. John quieted down but eventually started up again. Sasha and his parents went to the principal, they called John's parents who were so sure that their sweet little angel wouldn't do anything like that- basically got off with a slap on the wrist and a warning. He was out of school for a couple of days, came back and pulled a knife on Sasha. Thank God nothing bad happened, but I saw Sasha in my university a couple of weeks ago. Still scared of his own shadow, still wearing purple and yellow socks with too short khakis.

The bullying in my school used to get so bad that kids would literally transfer in the middle of the school year in the hopes that it would get better someplace else. I know of two suicide attempts made by grade six kids, and these are twelve year olds that are cutting their wrists and getting into bathtubs so they'll die quicker.

So no, sometimes those trained professionals are wrong. Sometimes you have to listen to those who have been through it all, because often what you think to be the best solution just backfires on you.

Btw, I never told my mom anything. Because I didn't want her to be worried about me. So at least it's very good news that your kids are talking to you about this.
 Ezbthdrcy
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 20
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 3:02:38 PM
Ok, I just realized how horrific my old school sounds lol.
It was a normal downtown junior and senior middle school. In the pretty nice part of town.
Funniest thing was that the meanest kids in that school came from the most well off families.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 21
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Posted: 12/10/2009 3:55:13 PM

My education is Social Development and Psychology my views are based on education and life experience.

You're belief that most kids bring it on themselves is similar to suggesting a woman who is beaten by her abusive spouse was asking for it.

You may have an education in Social Development and Psychology however, you lack the ability to comprehend and in fact, even fabricated "facts" here. NO where did I say anything of the sort. The implication that I condone abuse in any form, based on your twisted interpretation of my post, shows that you are rather quick to judge & accuse. IMO, these are not qualities that someone would find favorable in a psychologist or social development specialist... So, what line of work are you in?




I do believe empowering your children by providing opportunities to increase their confidence is the key but to suggest violence is never the answer is narrow minded. A kid who punches a bully in face during physical confrontation is much better then the kid who goes home and hangs himself out of hopelessness. Bullying has changed since we were kids, go to a local high school and watch the pecking order, watch what the bullied kids have to endure.

And schools aren't equip to deal with bullies because rarely the parents of the bully see a problem or refuse to admit they have a child with problems.

Obviously things are VERY different where I live. The schools are very equipped to deal with these issues and have a ZERO tolerance policy for bullying and the like - I know, because I helped write it, right after Columbine! The child who punches an aggressor in the face during a physical confrontation is ALSO punished - and rightfully so. Frankly, it amazes me that there are those (even alleged professionals) who instill in their children that violence is a viable option. Further, your suggestion that a fighting child will be less likely to go home and hang himself is ridiculous, IMO. Again, I have to call in to question your true credentials. Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold were bullied and decided to fight back. Yes, they both committed suicide, but not before brutally murdering 13 of their classmates.

Statistically, children prone to bullying are generally dealing with a lot of inner conflict themselves. They often suffer with feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, etc., etc. RARELY are they sadists, in the true definition of the word. By teaching our children how to be more observant and understanding of these troubled kids, through specialized school programs and reinforcement at home, we have a greater chance of turning them around. Bullies need help, not violence. IMO, for an educated professional to imply anything else, is incredibly irresponsible.
 notfrau
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 22
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 7:21:18 PM

The schools are very equipped to deal with these issues and have a ZERO tolerance policy for bullying and the like


You're assuming the school actually enforces the zero tolerance policy. My son has reported incidents of bullying directly to the principal and NOTHING was done about it. One occassion, he reported other kids yanking his hat (winter hat for recommended for living in cold climates) off his head and throwing it around on the bus and eventually out the bus window. The principal's response was "the school is not responsible for personal belongings."

I've talked to other parents here who have commented that the kids in this area are so used to being bullied that they've stopped reporting it.

It's sad when the special ed coordinator for the district has to contact the transportation manager to discuss alternate options for transporting a student because the principal refuses to address the bullying issue on the bus.

FWIW, my daughter has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and she still reports being bullied/harrassed (but only at this school -- bullying was not a problem for her at her old school) The only difference is that she has friends who have intervened and stood behind her when she's reported it. (Incidentally, she started TKD lessons for the physical exercise because band students didn't get PE during her 8th grade year and she stuck with it because she enjoyed it)
 notfrau
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 23
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 7:24:19 PM

The only difference is that she has friends who have intervened and stood behind her when she's reported it.


That's supposed to be the only difference between my son and his reports and my daughter and her reports.
 MsBeave
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 24
Bullying
Posted: 12/10/2009 8:35:57 PM

You may have an education in Social Development and Psychology however, you lack the ability to comprehend and in fact, even fabricated "facts" here. NO where did I say anything of the sort. The implication that I condone abuse in any form, based on your twisted interpretation of my post, shows that you are rather quick to judge & accuse. IMO, these are not qualities that someone would find favorable in a psychologist or social development specialist... So, what line of work are you in?


Nice personal attack..you might want to get your own reality check because you appear to be a bully. You said this..which is blaming the victim.


Bullies tend to target certain individuals, but it sounds like there's not just one "bully" targeting your son. You say that he's a nice kid, but is it possible that he is instigating these actions? Growing up, the only kids that I remember getting "picked on" by lots of other kids were the ones that constantly & purposely irritated them. Then their reactions were as a direct result of the "victim's" actions. No offense, but maybe your son is one of those kids who, for whatever reason, feels the need to "bother" other kids?



Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold were bullied and decided to fight back. Yes, they both committed suicide, but not before brutally murdering 13 of their classmates


Nice emotional thinking and assumptions, you need look beyond your own experiences. There are schools that can't provide protection, there are kids who are sadists and there is sometimes a need to protect yourself physically.


And schools aren't equip to deal with bullies because rarely the parents of the bully see a problem or refuse to admit they have a child with problems.


Obviously I understand bullies have problems but that wasn't what the OP was asking.

Here is a little info for you to have a knee jerk reaction too.

For two years my youngest son was harassed by a boy who was the "the problem kid" at school. Everyone beat on this kid because he harassed them. My son was becoming more and more frustrated with this boy and needed a solution before he used physical aggression. We discussed how the boy is always seen as the "bad kid" and maybe the boy had problems and my son needed to be more tolerant. The boy returned to school this year and obviously received the necessary treatment because he functioning like the average 13 year old. My son and this boy are friends now because my son had understanding of his problems and put his friendships on the line to ensure this boy was forgiven and the "bad kid" label was removed.

My middle son has autism and bipolar disorder, he has needed to use physical actions to protect himself because of the violence of his class mates. I'd rather my son punched someone in the face when being attacked then he tried to talk it out with a manic kid holding a weapon.

I live in the real world not statistics nor legislation. I work in public administration because I don't have the objectivity based on my person experiences with the "social safety net". But I am an active volunteer in an organization for kids at risk.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 25
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Bullying
Posted: 12/11/2009 3:06:48 AM
Put your son in martial arts because it teaches several things the first is that you never use what you know to harm, only to defend and you never, ever bully anyone because of what you know. Second, it teaches discipline and builds confidence, not in the ability to fight but in general. Third, there is something about knowing you can kick someone's ass that gives a bit more bounce to your step.

Does your son not have friends, the adage that there is safety in numbers is true and also a bully is less likely to go after a kid who isn't a loner sort of kid so maybe the boost in confidence that martial arts would give him would help him overall. Boxing is another option. Do you know anyone that could teach him the basics of boxing? A friend of mine is scary, little petite thing but learned to box when things were ugly between she and her ex. There is something to be said for not being afraid and part of the problem for your son likely is that he is afraid of getting hurt. Getting him over that may also be more important than the issue of the bully.

My youngest would never bully anyone let alone someone that is smaller but he doesn't shy away from the kid a head taller than he is and the boy, having spent years tussling with his older brother, can fight. I think most of the kids are well aware that he can beat them up if he chooses but more importantly, he knows he can so he has nothing to prove, but he also can defend himself if he has to. Part of our job as a parent is to teach kids how to take care of himself. You and your daughter/boyfriend aren't always going to be around to protect him.

I'm not saying don't intervene. My middle son was bullied last year. This boy was in his face daily trying to get him to fight. He had promised me no fights so he kept walking away, and had told me about what was happening as things went on for like at least a month, even when my son was in a wheelchair after breaking a bone this idiot kept messing with him. The day after he threw a basketball at my son's stomach while he was doing chin-ups in PE, I called the vice principal and told him the situation, that the PE teacher seemed to not be supervising the class and he had a talk with the kid. The b.s. ended there but I also told my son that he had gone well beyond what I expect him to do in avoiding a confrontation but if the kid hit him he had my permission to beat the crap out of him, particularly when our district policy punishes a kid who is just getting beat up when he doesn't defend himself with the same punishment as the aggressor.

I have always taught my kids to walk away rather than get into a fight but if they have no choice, I don't expect them to stand around getting the tar beat out of them, I expect them to prevail in the fight. I have also told my children that when someone is mean to them, they could have a horrible life at home, which was exactly the situation with a girl who became one of my daughter's best friends before they moved away. My daughter could just as easily have avoided her and they both would have lost out on a great friendship.

I can't stand a bully but most of them do so because putting others down, etc. makes them feel better. I think giving your kids that knowledge gives them power and it is easier to ignore the b.s. that goes on and it is much less likely for the guy to continue to target someone that isn't reacting to the torment. The two fights my son was in in the 7th grade were both the result of him trying to walk away and him beating the tar out of the kid when he hit him in the back of the head. I think it is one of the reasons he wasn't in more fights, when you beat up the crazy kid that was 3rd partied three times, people give you a wide berth.

You can teach your child to be a nice, giving, kind person and also give him the tools to make sure he is not at the mercy of bigger, older kids.


Also i dont know if i believe in the fighting back or not..again you raised a valid point-that being said, there's proof that fighting back works so who knows whats right.

Navigator, walking away is better but most bullies grow out of the physical aspect of it when they are adults although they probably get into brawls at bars, but you cannot prevent another kid from getting physical no matter how hard you try to avoid or follow appropriate channels.

Most schools have a zero tolerance policy and most don't do a great job of enforcing them. Bullies are also smart, until he hits the kid, he can torture him in hundreds of ways. The situation is escalating and the threats of cornering this kid out of sight of adults is a problem that won't go away with wishful thinking. This boy needs to be able to defend himself, particularly if he may be attacked by more than one child.
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