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 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 1
Why do females do this?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
This is probably the third time this has happened to me from here..

So Friday I meet up with a female that I have been talking to from POF for a little over a month now. We Have learned each others personalities pretty well.. well as i thought.
We meet up for dinner had great conversation and seem like we where having a really good time so I asked her if she would like to go have a drink somewhere and she said Of course.. Well we went down the street and played darts, pool, had a few drinks and talked. It really seem like it was going well. well she said "I beter get going i have to work in the morning" So I said cool. I walked her to her car (no kiss cuz' in a previous convo on the phone she says she doesn't kiss on first dates so I wanted to respect that) and I told her I had alot of fun and she agreed, so I asked her if she would like to do it again and she had a smile on her face and said "yeah how bout next weekend?" so I was sounds great. and she asked "you want to call me when you get home and i was yeah" So I drove home and I called her.. She answered and we talked for like 20 seconds and she said she had lots of fun but she had to call me back in a little bit. well she never called me back. So i was maybe she fell asleep or you never know. Well I called her last night before I went out and left a voice mail.. no call back. Anyways she has told me previously about a guy she met on here that she didn't like after they went out and she just ignored his calls.

So anyways my question is why did she say she had lots of fun, she liked me, wanted to go out with me again and for me to call her when I made it home if she really didn't like me or want to go out again? what is wrong with being strait up or just not say anything at all and I woulda got the hint?
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 2
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:11:48 PM
You might want to stop calling them "females" to start.
You have never done this?
Go out with somebody, told her she was everything you ever wanted, shag her and then ........never called her again?
It's called playing games.
Very popular between the sexes.

 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 3
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:14:42 PM
No I have never done it, yes I have met up with a few girls that I didn't like and we both got the same vibe and that was it.. Never said stuff like that.

and about going out with a girl you meet on the internet and then shag them that same night kinda loses respect from both parties and will most likly not work anyways and both parties are at fault
 back to the drawing board
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 4
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:17:32 PM
It happens. I've met people for dinner and don't even get out of the parking lot and they text me saying what a great time they had, how nice I was, etc. Get home and there's a long email repeating the same stuff but with greater detail. Then, boom. they decided they really aren't ready to be dating yet because their ex hurt them so bad, or I even had one who the next day said she felt decived by my pics. I asked if she meant the ones I posted that were taken a week prior and another one 3 days prior. WOW, I need to check my camera. I thought the texts and e-mails were sincere ut hey, I figure they must've gotten home and read a few more messages from prospective dates/future victims and suddenly I was just a number.

Don't get discouraged too much though. it goes both ways here.
 LoriIsLoLo
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 5
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:17:48 PM
She's probably just too weak to be honest and straight up. Pretty pathetic in my opinion.
 Tad85
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 6
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:19:37 PM
Yeah both do it, but it's called not having balls. Some people are pu$$ies and can't tell you the truth so they talk nice to you telling you what you'd like to hear, because again they're pu$$ies with no balls. Then they take the coward way out and ignore you. Be proud you have your dignity and balls sir =)

I straight up tell a woman if I'm not interested, or I never let it get to the point of having to tell her anything!
 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 7
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:30:50 PM
yes and i don't understand that. It is easier to get it out in the open at first then drag it out and make the other party wonder.

and when I asked if she would like to do it again she coulda said "we will see or maybe" and I coulda got a slight hint from that
 ManicMelanie
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:35:29 PM
Maybe she DID like you and you need to be a little more mature, calm and cool about it. Give it some more time. In the meantime, keep looking.

 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 9
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:39:43 PM
I understand, we all want to be told where we stand, right?
Yes, it would be a much better world if everybody would just say it like it is. But.......
Let me ask you something:
Was it late at night?
Are you stronger and taller than her?
She doesn't know you well enough, to NOT feel in danger.
Nobody else was around?
You are walking her to her car, right? Was It dark?
Say, for the sake of this argument, she didn't like you and she knew it, right then.
It is late, dark and nobody else is around and you are a strong, young guy, right?
What's safer for her, to smile and say, let's do something next week.
or
I don't see this going anywhere, I didn't get you sense of humor and I don't like the shoes you are wearing, your hair looks like it hasn't been washed in a while. Don't call me again.

I wish life was like in that movie "the invention of lying" with Rick Gervais.
Unfortunately is NOT.
Sorry!
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 10
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:40:57 PM
OP: Unfortunately, this is very common with the online dating with both genders. My take is that they didn't know how to go about telling the person that they were not interested in them in a romantic way.

One can have a good time during a date, but not feel a romantic connection. Don't take it personally, and just keep fishing.

I would recommend not pulling out all the "bell and whistles" for a first date i.e. dinner, drinks, etc...as you will go broke!!!! I'm assuming the girl did not pay for anything during this date?

Make a first date inexpensive, unless you are going dutch.

 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 11
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:46:15 PM
I'm not like that.. I'ma man, If i ask a girl out I'm going to pay.

and for the other woman, how do you know I was immature? I didn't see you there ;)

and for the other paranoid one, maybe if you are worried about meeting somone you don;t know maybe you shouldn't be doing the online thing.. and i'm sure if she felt dangered she wouldn't have wanted to go with me elsewhere
 Tad85
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 12
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:48:40 PM
Posted By: forumfishie Say, for the sake of this argument, she didn't like you and she knew it, right then.
It is late, dark and nobody else is around and you are a strong, young guy, right?
What's safer for her, to smile and say, let's do something next week.



I have had women do the same exact thing online though. They talk to me and sound interested, even telling me they like me without me asking or saying I like them first. We might not talk for a day or 2 and then we talk some more. They contact ME sometimes! Because of mixed signals all along I'm wondering is she interested or not? One minute no she's not, I'll move on. Next minute she contacts me.... It's like WTF?

Last girl like this I just got tired of trying to 'feel' her out online to decide if I wanted to meet her or not, so after a good sign I gave her my number and told her to call me sometime. She said 'ok I will.' I said I'm working today but I'll have my phone and I can pretty much do whatever I want. She says, 'lol I'll call you.' Did she? No. And we exchanged countless emails. Pages. So it wasn't quick. That's what this guy is getting at. It's misleading and shows a lack of character.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:48:57 PM
Remember, you had what is essentially a blind date. The two of you never had a chance to develop real chemistry, although it seems like it was a good start. You sometimes have to give a person some time to sort out their thoughts, wants and needs. If you had gotten to know her in the real world first, she would have already digested many of her thoughts about you before the two of you went out together. Give her some time and try again later, even a month or two. Or six.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 14
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:56:38 PM
I understand. Some women also do that on line, before even meeting you, same reasons.
But you also have to know, the many, many times, women (including me) are upfront and this behavior was not welcome in any sense, I'm not even going to say rewarded.

If you try to be clear face to face, just saving time, and say in person, I'm sorry, there is no connection for me, no spark, chemistry etc. But it was lovely to have met you.

The following tends to happen:

Names I've been called in the past, when I used to be upfront, in the middle of the starbucks:
Beayaatch
Tease
You are not all that!
You wish I liked you!
I have your number, I'll keep calling! (and that he did, for a month)

There were 2 gentlemen, out of ......many who, said, no problem and walked away.

None of them said, OMG! How great of you to reject me face to face, thanks for saving me time! I wish there were more women like you!

It doesn't happen.
I've tried.

Edit: NO, I rather just walk away, not being called names and be embarrased in public by someone I don't ever want to see again.
For what? A coffe meeting, where I paid for my coffe?
I don't owe him anything, same he doesn't owe me.
Just to be civil, we owe that to each other.
Second edit: So are you saying, you would 've NOT been upset if she told you last night in person she didn't want to see you again?

By the way. I'm not saying she did the right thing, texting you the next day etc.
I'm just trying to let you into "the other side" maybe you'll see even when it felt as deceiving (it was) perhaps you have to take in consideration, why some women act this way.
 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 15
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:03:09 PM
So you got called a few names, atleast the situation is over right there.. and then you dodged a bullet..

and even a nice sweet text right after saying "i don't know how I coulda said this in person but I don;t think it worked, good luck in the future"
 Tad85
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 16
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:10:17 PM
Someone always has to ruin it huh, forumfishie? I stick to my guns though. What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong. I have had good intentions perceived as bad (last night, lol). Oh well. I'm not turning into an a$$ because of it/her and others past and future. Some people are jerks.

And to your second edit, he would not have been happy! That's common sence but it's better to know than to be lead on or left wondering. She could have sent a text/email that night and would not have had to do it face to face. This is just common courtesy. If you apply for a loan and you get denied should they say you got it but then ignore you so they don't upset you because realy you didn't get it? lol
 unique1011
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 17
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:11:20 PM
This is a free online dating site full of flaky people. You can't find a reason why certain people do certain things. That's just who they are. All you should do is to find a person who could share similar attitudes and values to yours. Don't try too hard to understand what others do and why they do. Let it be for your mental health.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 18
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:11:47 PM
No one likes rejection however done in the right way it doesn't have to be painful.
I have made some really good friends, with a few of the ladies that the chemistry was not there.
Two of them I would trust with my life.
However there is no reason to lead someone on. I would much rather be told if there is nothing there on the dating front.
Then you know what is happening. Trust me if I meet a lady and there is no sparks on my side I will tell her.
No excuses no game playing. I will do it with tact and grace,then if she reacts badly it is on her. Which would only show that I was correct in not wanting a date with her.
Honesty it is a very rare commodity!!!!!!
JUST MY TWO CENTS!!!!!
 pjames
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 19
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:15:04 PM
mjyawn67- I agree.. if someone is strait up with me then it might hurt my feelings for a all of 10 minutes. I don't know her so how would that make me depressed.. but if you BS your way around it's just going to frustrate me
 lilbethm
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 20
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:20:43 PM
You are sooo right forumfishie...my fav was i meet this guy from here he was all over me in 1 minute, so i move away try n make conversation, he does it again, so now i tell him look lets just get to know eachother im not like this and ill leave if you cant control yourself. Two more minutes and i was in my car leaving he was really mad??? WTF should i have said or done?
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 21
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:20:55 PM
OP, maybe she has a valid reason why she hasn't contacted you. You only went out with her last Friday and this is Sunday. Maybe a relative passed away, or she's sick. Give her a chance.
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 22
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:31:46 PM
You shouldn't have called her after you got home. Let her marinate in the events of the night. It's kind of anti-climactic when you call her later on and keep talking to her.

Instead of ending on a high note, you ended on a low note. Don't do that. It'll be the last thing she remembers. And she'll remember you more as boring rather than fun.


EDIT: I just noticed what day you guys went out. I didn't realize this only happened Friday. And you called her one day later and she didn't answer and you're letting this upset you? I agree with the poster below me that you're acting a little clingy here. It's never really a good idea to call somebody the next day after you go out with them for the first time anyway. But whatever you do, don't call her again for a a few days. Maybe wait until next Thursday or so before calling her back if you haven't heard from her by then. If you blow up her phone, you will almost certainly run her off.
 lilbethm
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 23
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:34:08 PM
op it is even a bit creepy for you to be so upset 48 hrs after one date. People have lives, freinds family its the holidays give her a chance to breathe.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:48:44 PM
She's not into you. That's the simple truth. Everything else is a lie. There are NO excuses. She didn't fall alsleep. She didn't forget. Nothing stopped her. If someone gives a shit that person WILL get back to you.

Just forget about her and find someone who's worth your time because she certainly isn't.
 GoodGirl100
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 25
Why do females do this?
Posted: 12/13/2009 4:54:29 PM

I meet up with a female that I have been talking to from POF



A female what?
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