| | if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Please do not somehow twist this to be a "pity"or attention-seeking" post, which for some reason all my threads get deleted for and I don't know why... so, would you care guys? Assuming that it was all in the open and no deceit whatsoever was going on of course, would you still be jealous if your girlfriend hooked up with a girl? Would you be jealous, but less jealous than with another guy? or would you just not even care and think it's a totally different deal than her being with another man?
They say that men are more jealous creatures because of paternity uncertainty, from an evolutionary perspective, but I don't think so. I am much more jealous than my boyfriend, who wouldn't care if I hooked up with a woman. Wondering what the general consensus is.
Oh, and this situation DOES NOT include you. I am referring to hooking up with a woman when you are not around, neither to participate nor to watch. Not into that. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 4:04:53 PM | | My girlfriend has had permission for a long time to hook up with another woman whenever she wants. She hasn't to the best of my knowledge,and it's not something I obsess about. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 4:20:19 PM | | Can someone PLEASE TELL ME why my post is "trolling" or "attention seeking?" Please explain this to me. My posts ALWAYS get deleted for this and I don't understand why my posts are trolling or attention seeking at all. I have valid questions. I think I have a personal enemy. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 4:31:36 PM | As long as she doesn't leave me for said woman or decide to bring in another man, then I'm fine with it.
Both women must be disease free. No reason to end it over her bringing an STD into the relationship.
I'd at least ask for a video. If I'm not there I'd at least want a way to enjoy the moment you two did.
Though, it begs the question would you allow him to do the same (with another woman)? | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 4:59:42 PM | If my girlfriend has the need to have sex with another woman this tells me that I am no good to satisfy her and she should go find some one else and I find some one else. But I may be willing to stay as a friend. If my girlfriend suddenly discovered she is a lesbian and she found out her true sexuality. Good for her. Again I could be just friend. Currently I have two women friends who are lesbians openly. I feel fine seen with them in public places although I hear whispers from others but I ignore.  | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:06:40 PM | [/Most guys do not consider another woman to be a threat and would not be jealous.....]
We are not talking about threats here or jealousy. The feeling that your woman needs another woman to satisfy her sexually is the question. With the same token if a man tells his woman that he has the need to have sex with another male. My Business body woman filed a divorce for that reason. She could not accept it. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:31:09 PM |
If my girlfriend has the need to have sex with another woman this tells me that I am no good to satisfy her and she should go find some one else and I find some one else. But I may be willing to stay as a friend. If my girlfriend suddenly discovered she is a lesbian and she found out her true sexuality. Good for her. Again I could be just friend.
There are a lot of women who aren't lesbians, enjoy having primary partnerships with men, and still feel the need for some p*ssy now and again. There's an awful lot of middle ground between "completely straight" and "lesbian".
[quuote]We are not talking about threats here or jealousy. The feeling that your woman needs another woman to satisfy her sexually is the question. With the same token if a man tells his woman that he has the need to have sex with another male.
Sounds to me like someone might indeed be feeling threatened to make that call, as though it were a threat to his manhood or some such. Personally, I'd be fine being with a bisexual male who needed a little c*ck on occasion, and there are plenty of men who would be fine with or even enjoy having a girlfriend who wanted to be with a woman sometimes.
OP: A lot of men are completely turned on by the idea that their GF is with a woman on occasion, even if they're not involved. I suspect your dating pool is a lot larger than you'd think from the comments here so far. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:37:01 PM | To me it's cheating, unless you are into poly amory or something like that and that it was clear BEFORE entering the relationship.
I'm bisexual but in a relationship, so there's no question of me hooking up with anybody, male or female. With a woman or a man, it's the same thing, if my man isn't present, i'm cheating on him. Now if we both decide to have fun on a Saturday night and bring in a girl, we'll share her ;) | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:40:51 PM | [/Sounds to me like someone might indeed be feeling threatened to make that call, as though it were a threat to his manhood or some such. Personally, I'd be fine being with a bisexual male who needed a little c*ck on occasion, and there are plenty of men who would be fine with or even enjoy having a girlfriend who wanted to be with a woman sometimes. ]
Ooh Lord what did we do with our lives. Woman ****ing a woman and a man ****ing a man. There is an animal I don't remember its name who has both sexual organs. This animal will love this thread. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:53:54 PM | | If you are in a relationship - you would be cheating and there is no way around that unless you have agreed to have an open relationship where you have agreed to date other people! | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:55:08 PM |
Oh, and this situation DOES NOT include you. I am referring to hooking up with a woman when you are not around, neither to participate nor to watch. Not into that.
Is it OK for him to do the same?
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 5:57:33 PM |
Oh, and this situation DOES NOT include you. I am referring to hooking up with a woman when you are not around, neither to participate nor to watch. Not into that.
If they did, could I watch?
She already said NO!!!!!!!lol
She doesn't share like that.....
Seems like he's getting the short end of that stick!
I have 'permission' too.But,I could only do it with him if I was going to do it,just for being so cool!But I choose not to cheat, as I don't see any difference between being with another woman or another man whether he cares or not.....I wouldn't want to share him with someone else...male or female.
If I wanted to be with a woman....I'd tell him we were done.
Just seems like the right thing to do to me. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 6:28:23 PM | OP -- As long as she was tested and is clean...and as long as this does not EVER take place in MY home...then she can go get freaky with her female lover, sure.
I just don't want it anywhere near me or my home. It's a respect thing. I respect her wanting to get groovy with another chick...she respects me not ever wanting it near me or my home.
Win-win.
Oh...and no, I don't want a detailed account of the proceedings. Just a simple "Gonna go hook up with Jane/Sue/Betty/etc - be back later" will suffice. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 6:33:33 PM | | The homosexual hook-up would violate my policy about limiting activities to preclude the unwanted transmission of sexually transferred cooties. In a world without STD's, no problem. In this world, sorry, no, you may not indulge in sex that puts my health at risk. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 6:49:25 PM | I know of an arrangement where a guy had a bi fiance and when she moved to another state and they'd be apart for a couple of months, they agreed that both of them could hook up with chicks. Seemed to work for them.
I am not bi and don't date bi guys. But in my opinion its the same as any other exclusivity clause. Either we are or we arnt. And frankly I am ok sometimes not being exclusive. But if we were, I would not consider being with another person.
If I got a yen to be w a chick, I'd ask to go nonexclusive and offer him the same choice of being with others. Totally. And I've had nonexclusive relationships so I've been in a similar enuf situation we just stayed hetero. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:06:00 PM | I don't think me being with another woman and him being with another woman are the same thing. I think him being with another MAN would be the same thing. With heterosexual hook-ups outside the relationship, I think that brings up a lot of insecurity issues for people because they compare themselves to the person. With the opposite sex, it's just a totally different desire that he could never be suspected to fulfill. Then again, he might have a desire to be with a black woman, for example, that I could never be suspected to fulfill, but that still wouldn't make it okay in my eyes.
In fact, I wouldn't be okay with him hooking up with another male or female. If he hooked up with another guy, I'd think he's just really gay and doesn't even know it yet. With a girl, it seems more like I can genuinely be interested in both. What's up with that... is there something to that, or am I just a product of social norms conditioning me to believe b.s.?
I guess the bottom line is that if I wouldn't be okay with him hooking up with a man or a woman, I should be expected to do the same. It's weird because when I'm in love, I have no desire to hook up with another man at all. I barely even look at them. But I still have just as strong a desire to be with another woman. It's not a constant thought and I don't feel unsatisfied at all, in fact last night he ravaged me in a way that I have never been before and fulfilled some fantasies for me! But I do still fantasize about women from time to time, in fact I can't masturbate without a woman in the picture. It's all very confusing. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:08:22 PM | I'd be a different kind of jealousy if it were a planned event with me outright not included.
Here's a non-sexual analogy... say you won 3 tickets to Hawaii, flight & hotel included. Instead of getting 3 tickets, you opted for 2 tickets and extra spending cash (that wasn't worth the extra ticket+extra hotel price) on the vacation, and to bring a gal pal to go with you instead of me. Me saying "Hey, do the 3 tickets, I'll throw in some cash for you guys to spend out there" is then met with "No, I just want to go with her, that's why I went for the 2 tickets."
I wouldn't be jealous you were leaving me or anything... I'd be thinking that you were only thinking of yourself, I wasn't your cup of tea when it came to travelling, and also (a big also) I was easily missing out on a great vacation! Get it?
Now... back to the actual scenario you pointed out. If a girlfriend was out and ENDED UP hooking up with another girl, no... I wouldn't be mad, I'd think that was hot and would want to steer things into that direction with me around some time if she was into doing that again.
If a girlfriend said, "Hey, I'm leaving now. Decided not to go to the mall. I'm just going over to Sally's so we can get naked and eat each other out tonight," I'd go nuts.... lol. It'd be a "WTF? Why can't I be at least an observant participant?"
I'd probably let her do it once to make sure she liked it, then I'd probably ban it if she banned me from being a part of it in anyway. It's not so much I'm not conveniently around if it spontaneous happens -- it's outwardly banning me -- I'd find that insulting... and I'd PROBABLY think, if she was a jealous gal like you, that her jealousy got in the way and she wouldn't want me seeing another woman naked and getting sexual -- even if I just looked on with binoculars. | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:18:39 PM |
If my girlfriend has the need to have sex with another woman this tells me that I am no good to satisfy her
So if you caught your girlfriend masterbating you would feel inadequate as a man and would dump her? | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 8:02:13 PM |
I don't think me being with another woman and him being with another woman are the same thing. I think him being with another MAN would be the same thing.
Uh, no...You want to be with a girl because she's beautiful, sensuous, emotionally connected...duhhhh...we like the same thing.
Besides, for most girls, b/f's who are fudge packers seem to lose a lot of relationship appeal.
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 8:19:00 PM | "To me it's cheating, unless you are into poly amory or something like that and that it was clear BEFORE entering the relationship."
"I'm bisexual but in a relationship, so there's no question of me hooking up with anybody, male or female. With a woman or a man, it's the same thing, if my man isn't present, i'm cheating on him. Now if we both decide to have fun on a Saturday night and bring in a girl, we'll share her ;)"
This is pretty much how I feel about, with the added opinion that in general once you open the door for your partner to get involved with same sex on the side, the door tends to stay wide open to the detriment of the relationship. I'm not saying that's always the way it is, but that has been my experience. Basicly everytime it became a sort of secret life that snowballed out of control and wasn't limited by gender, numbers, or basic considerations of safety (hers, or mine after the fact). Everything that I would've had a reason to be concerned about got thrown in the catch-all of "it's okay, I'm just hanging out with my gf." | |
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| if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/15/2009 8:21:15 PM | Would for whatever weird reason, be less objecting to it, than if it were another guy. But would still not be overly open to it, unless the relationship was really secure. And its something the woman I was with, absolutely felt they needed to do. ( other guys, .... pretty much sure fire reason to can the relationship.)
If I really want to be with someone, then want full emotional commitment from them too, shrugs. Involving anyone else, whether physically/emotionally intimately, into the mix of whats supposed to be a committed relationship. Seems like itd be fraught with potential problems.
As usual find myself wondering how this pertains to U OP, or if your just curious about every poss sexually inclined scenario people might face. Anytime someone tells U its ok with them, to get intimate with other people. Have to ask, hmmmm how committed to me are they ? And where U stand in terms of trusting them, shrugs. | |
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