| | Pushing the limits of friendship.Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Hi, Ive been in love with this girl for a few years now, and i know, (at least when we first met) she liked me aswell. We met throught my best mate as she is his Girlfriends sister.
We went out a bit together back then (about 2 years ago) but decided we couldnt have a relationship with her moving away to another country. (and also when people found out we did kiss it annoyed them due to how we met) but thats their problem....
She is back in this country now but still away at uni. She has just recently split with a Boyfriend which wasnt a serious thing but i can tell she liked him still. Any way we have been texting a bit and as usual it was a bit flirty, ans when she has came home for xmas, we, and a few others all went to the pub to catch up.
Now we were flirting all night again, but people have just come to accept thats how we act around each other and so had we. Now i wasnt drinking due to driving home that night. When giving people a lift home, one of my mates suggested we go into his to watch a film and have a drink, and offered me his sofa to sleep on. So there was 4 of us. This girl i like, her sister (my best mates GF) and another friend and his house.
We do drink quite a bit watch a film and me and girl i like are sat on the sofa with a cover over us holding hands the film finishes and my best mates GF decideds to walk home, the rest of us keep drinking and put on another film.
So the 3 of us (me girl i like and mate) are sat on the sofa and she starts tickling me and this went on for a bit which annoyed my mate so he moved onto the other chair so we are sat there still tickling and messing about. then it starts to annoy my mate too much so we just sit next to each other, but her hand ended up down my pants (under the covers so mate couldnt see) so i was shocked but didnt stop it. any way when film was over she decieded to walk home (i did offer to walk her she said no) we were texting as she was walking home and said he regrets it and doesnt want to start anything as she doesnt wasnt to ruin our friendship, also with her in her last year of uni it would be hard to find time, and the her ex aswell.
I can accept these reasons as much as it does hurt a bit. but the main reason of not to ruin our friendship doesnt matter anymore, its so awkward around each other, no1 knows what we did, for good reason, but now im thinking, should i try to be with her at all? after all the friendship is preety much ruinined anyway so what have i got to loose?
Or what should i do?
I know ive gone on for a long time now and im sorry if i have bored you but any suggestions would be appriciated.
Thank You | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:29:05 AM | | excuse me, are you saying your friendship is ruined because she put her hand down your pants but nobody knew about it? puh-leeze. what kinda friend are you, anyway? i wouldn't pursue a relationship with her at this time.... because she already told you she didn't want to, and also it's impractical. but she's only got one year of college left... do you know how quickly that will go by? who knows what the future holds.... but if she's truly your friend, a year from now this will be just something for the two of you to laugh about. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:36:31 AM | I'm going to make this short and sweet. You are in the friend zone. You all went out to have a good time and she decided to test her powers of 'womanhood' on you. You fell for it, hook, line and sinker. She diddled your dinky to check it out, and unfortunately for you, wasn't interested. Sorry, but that's what happened. Then she decided that after she turned you on, it would be better for her to WALK HOME ALONE IN THE DARK rather than stay and snuggle for the night. This is not a good sign.
Your best bet is to forget this whole relationship. Personally, me to you...you need your ass kicked for letting a girl who had been drinking walk home alone in the middle of the night, and I don't give a shit if it was just ten feet to her door! That showed very poor manners and ungentlemanly conduct on your part. You really need some lessons on how to treat women.
You better write this one off completely. You made some mistakes, and she is not interested in you sexually at all. Find someone else who is, and learn some manners and use them with the next girl you go out with.
Beth | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:40:21 AM | I do have manners thank you! She wouldnt have gone home if i went with her she would have just stood there and made me leave her, she is quite stubborn that way.
Also she couldnt have possibly stayed as there was barley enought room on the sofa for one person nevermind two. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 5:05:31 AM | | If there was not enough room on the sofa then you have no business dating. Friends do not stick their hands down the pants of friends. And for a woman to rather walk home drunk in the dark is a huge sign. And shame on you for letting her go in that condition or not arranging a ride for her. This whole thing is like a scene out of Romper Room. Some people should not be dating. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 5:16:39 AM | | We were both drunk and stupid, She does only live a few doors down. I regret it aswell, but even if we are not going to be together. I still want to be friends and im worried about that. Maybe in a week or two it will be ok. I didnt write on here tho to get stick for letting her walk home. Starting to regret posting. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 5:19:40 AM | ^^^And shame on you for letting her go in that condition or not arranging a ride for her.
Agreed! If you didn't walk her then the other guy should have. If there wasn't room on the couch YOU should have made a spot on the floor for YOURSELF. Most women are stubborn, that doesn't mean wish them luck as they stumble out the door. How bad would you feel if you couldn't date her because she had disappeared in the night? | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 5:22:21 AM | We both did offer, she started having an argument with us both on the doorstep, she had already thought about staying when watching films but since she lives just down road said she wouldnt.
And no this isnt a joke | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 7:33:14 AM |
And no this isnt a joke
Yes it is.......
So the 3 of us (me girl i like and mate) are sat on the sofa and she starts tickling me and this went on for a bit which annoyed my mate so he moved onto the other chair so we are sat there still tickling and messing about. then it starts to annoy my mate too much so we just sit next to each other, but her hand ended up down my pants (under the covers so mate couldnt see) so i was shocked but didnt stop it. any way when film was over she decieded to walk home (i did offer to walk her she said no) we were texting as she was walking home and said he regrets it and doesnt want to start anything as she doesnt wasnt to ruin our friendship, also with her in her last year of uni it would be hard to find time, and the her ex aswell.
^^^^^The joke is on you. Friends like her.......no thanks | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 7:35:59 AM | Well, your last few posts have made it quite clear why this girl wants nothing to do with you. You are clueless, and you have no manners, despite what you think. A real man would have either GIVEN HER THE SOFA TO SLEEP ON OR INSISTED THAT SHE BE ESCORTED HOME!!!!! If you are too dense to understand this, then you need more help than any online forum can provide.
Just glad there weren't any rapists, criminals, muggers or whatever out there just waiting for a drunk girl to stumble their way, because you were such an idiot that you let her walk home by herself in the middle of the night. You, Sir, really need a kick in the butt for your behavior, and be glad if she ever speaks to you again.
Beth | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 7:39:48 AM | Given the totality of her behavior as you describe it, I would EXPECT that she wont give it a second thought. It sounds as though a childish drunken tickling bout took on a vulgar (but not really sexual) turn, and went appropriately no where.
I agree with motown cowgirl that you are making too much out of this, most likely because you want to sleep with the girl yourself. There's no way to build anything in the way of a serious relationship from any of this, so get a broom, sweep out your brain, take some vitamins, do some pushups, and get back to being just this guy she knows who lets her put her hand down his pants as a joke while she's drunk. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 9:13:56 AM | I have to agree with the walking home thing.....you should have ignored her drunken stubbornness and stepped up to the manly plate and just followed behind not taking no for an answer. Had you done that (taken the control to ensure her safety) would have stuck in her head always. Woman are more compelled towards men who take the control just to ensure their safety. Men who make them feel safe and secure are the one's woman tend to gravitate towards.
BUT...............the fact that YOU (the one who just had his *&^# petted) let her go off alone, drunk in the dark WILL stick in her head as the selfish "guy" who didn't give a crap.
So to answer your question....NO, do not pursue her. Deflect the shots from shooting you down and keep the tail snug between your legs and just let time go by.
Maybe when the time is right stress to her out of the blue your reservations about letting her go off alone that night and maybe that will save ya! | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 10:13:45 AM | I think some of the criticisms are excessive here, but there is something in them. You have a long history of being very passive with this girl and accepting whatever she chooses to dole out. That's not sexy!
And you're right that you have nothing to lose. I say just show up at her door (make sure she's home first). Tell her you're in love with her. Tell her you don't care about the practical problems of her being in school, you don't care what all your stupid friends think (and why are they bothered, anyway? I do not get this at all), and you don't care about her stupid ex, you just want to be with her.
If that doesn't melt her heart, it never would've happened anyway. | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 10:20:50 AM | I dont EVER want a man to HAVE to walk me home..
Jeez.. if i say no.. i mean no.. you aint walking me home!!
So, Op.. dont fret over that. We are all responsible for our own behaviour | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 10:24:28 AM | You both had a LOT to drink.
It happened. She does NOT want more. Respect that. Move on.
Find someone that DOES want to be in a relationship, etc. Focusing your attentions on other female(s) will make this MUCH easier to deal with.
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 10:55:09 AM | I think ragging on you for not escorting her home is a bit much. She wasn’t stumbling down drunk, she was coherent enough to text that she didn’t want a relationship with you, and she only lived A FEW DOORS down. Most important, she didn’t WANT you to walk her home, because she knew what she had done by yankin’ your crank. She probably didn’t want to risk any further advances at her front door, which could be expected considering the extremely awkward situation that had transpired.
IMO, your friend is a P.T., and I’m not talking about the Cruiser. She never had any romantic interest in you, and she has KNOWN and FELT this way since two YEARS ago, when you went out “for a bit”. I would forget about her and I would limit my friendship interaction, if I were you. This gal seems to put guys in the Friends Zone and then TORTURE them. DO NOT wait for her, because I guarantee she is going to hook up with another guy her last year in college; maybe even more than one. She is NOT interested in you, romantically. Cast ye line again! | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 2:06:40 PM |
any way when film was over she decieded to walk home (i did offer to walk her she said no) we were texting as she was walking home and said he regrets it and doesnt want to start anything as she doesnt wasnt to ruin our friendship, also with her in her last year of uni it would be hard to find time, and the her ex aswell.
As to not walking her home..... I guess you could of forced her to let you....
I suspect after digging into your pants.....the thought occurred to her that if she let you walked her home.......you might want to dig into hers at her place and that didn't appeal her........it also gave her the opportunity to send you a text thereby saving face with looking into yours...... | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 2:41:49 PM | excuse me here .. i just got to ask where the morals here are today with america's standards .... ummmm a woman can now fondle a man as friends and ... this is normal now? ... getting a hand job from a friend but them not be interested? ... lol ...how many ladies out there just stick there hands around a mans ... fun stick .. and not be interested? lol ... in this case i got all the wrong kind of friends lol ... damn where do you ladies hang out? lol ... wow i cant imagine where the line is ... in todays woman to show interest. ...  | |
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| Pushing the limits of friendship.
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:57:10 PM | | My thoughts. She put her hand down your pants then quickly left. That was strange, was she thinking you were to small for her? | |
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