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 swolenfibers
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 1
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Breaking up with a girl for no reason.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
My girlfriend is great and we have been going out for a year. We go to universities that are only a 15 minute drive apart, and I care about her alot. The problem is that as long as I've lived in my dorm (4 months) I've felt like I just want to break up with her because I feel like I am missing out. I've been faithful to my relationship and I always enjoy hanging out with my girlfriend but I've been thinking that i'm missing out on experiences that I'll want later because I am with her.

I basically want to know how to end things without looking like an ***hole. Any advice?
 onefishwilldo
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 2
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:56:41 PM
You'll need to tell her the truth. Tell her that you just want to be friend, bla bla bla. She's going to think that you're an a-hole anyway. Make sure that is what you want to do.

Good luck
 blowmydoorsoff
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 3
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:57:06 PM
Yeah I have some great advice, ..... dont ask stupid questions. Also dont be an ahole ... then wonder how U can be an ahole, without looking like an ahole. As for the main content in your OP, just do the damn thing already and tell the girl. Apparently she's involved with and dating an ( selfish and shallow ) ahole and doesnt know it, so hurry up and tell her already, she kinda needs to know this important fact.
 *Mustard*
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 4
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:58:20 PM
Dude,

Don't sweat it... You are just beginning to get to know you as a person. There are a lot of reasons why you need to grow and grow.... A lot of people will tell you... you'll be sorry but I say NO... Grow and because a better person and if it was meant to be it will be 10 years from now... Don't be the ass the cheats be the guy that she remembers as her first love and if your paths find there way back to each other than Booooya... If not at least you know there is someone out there who still things your awesome...

Be free and grow this is the just the beginning for you Brother don't feel regret or anger because someone stopped you from doing something that you wanted to do. There is nothing like sitting on a Beach in Australia with a person you met from Belgium making out like animals... There is nothing like travelling to Austria to meet a girls family that took your breath away... There is nothing like walking a beach in Cuba with someone you met at work that you knew from the moment you met her that you wanted her before she even knew you were alive.... Grow, learn, feel, and seize the moment because you don't get a chance to redo too many things in life brother don't have any regrets because life's too short not to know that you've done lots but now you are ready to share all your experiences with someone it's called life lessons... Get yours and I swear you will not be sorry and neither will she. Be Brave little Jedi and feel the force....

How do you know what Love is if you don't fail honorably at it first that's how you learn to value it and appreciate it and not take it for granted. It could be just your first love and that is ok.

Cheers,
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 5
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:00:32 PM
Theres a reason, just admit it, you think the grass is greener on another field. You think it is freakier, nastier, more this, less of that. Just admit that you want to stick it where the hell ever, but let her get on with the rest of her life.
Make sure you tell her its because you want to whore around, and not a reflection on her.
(who knows, she just might join you, lord knows girls love the a$$hole)
 Aisfor_Amanda
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 6
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:08:02 PM
Sit her down and say "Look babe. I'm 19. You're ___. We're embarking on a new journey in life. I care about you but I think we need to see other people." or something along those lines. Let her know that you do care but you want to see what else is out there. And don't be surprised if she doesn't take too kindly to it.



Stop being so hard on the Guy people...


Um...wasn't being hard on him.


So PISS OFF you judging A$$holes


Hi, pot. Have you met kettle?
 TiltAGirl
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 7
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:08:42 PM
You're so young! Go have fun while you have the opportunity - you will be settled down soon enough; no need to rush it. Who knows, she may be thinking the same thing.

OE: Wanting to experience more of life is not breaking up for no reason. You need to feel happy in your life, you're entitled to enjoy it the way you want to. Just be nice to her when you break things off - it will reflect better on you than not handling it well.
 *Mustard*
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 8
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:14:38 PM
Stop being so hard on the Guy people... They just started university and this may be the first truly serious relationship they have ever been in and something is saying to him to end it. Let him end it if he feels like it... It's not about the grass being greener... It's about something telling him to do it before he does cheat... That's a stand up move because 90% of guys in University do both the play the field and keep seeing the girl... so relax step back and think for a second. People grow in University and begin to get to know who they are and begin to get some understanding about what they should be doing... If the moment presented itself to go travelling than why shouldn't he go... when I mean travel I mean go to Australia for 6 months to a year or where ever he wants to... For her it might be the same thing they dated in high school and now they are in university.... For god sake let the guy experience life and make his own mistakes at HIS pace not yours... Life is about experiences and growing and learning and making mistakes... That's how you learn how to treat someone with respect without taking them for granted. He's being a stand up guy before he cheats... That's real and that's being a man... So PISS OFF you judging A$$holes... The funny thing is people judging you brother for doing the right thing they have no clue... He's in his early 20s people do you really really think that he has enough life experience to marry this girl without life experiences... Please get your heads out of your over inflated egos... He is being real and you are trying to call him the A$$... Let the brother grow and experience that's what life is all about.

Cheers,
 blowmydoorsoff
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 9
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:14:48 PM
Update: Uve been on this site for 4 months, marked as single no doubt and looking to hook up/ hang-out with femme's. So quit playing the part, just be honest with this girl, if U actually care about her. And then move on with your lives eh.
 9035768
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 10
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:16:06 PM
Sounds like an ahole reason to me.

But, why would you EVER stay with someone when you don't want to? Even when you have kids, you don't stay with someone just because. You want to break up with her, do it.

Don't go crying in four years when you want her back. "IF," is what I really mean, but it doesn't really matter.

Don't do it with a post-it note.
Don't have a friend do it.
Don't call her parents and tell them to do it.

Just tell her you want to break up. Don't lie by giving one of the total BS lines, "I don't deserve you," "It's not you," or my favorite, "I have to find myself, before I can give myself to you."
"I want to break up because you're bringing me down and I want to have fun." Since that is the honest reason.

Don't drag this out, do it now. Preferably in the evening, but, you know her better than we do.
 DR_RUTHLESS
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 11
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 12:11:44 AM
be nice and sensitive to her emotions!
the experiences you seek are not for the faint of heart

at your age, you might break her heart today but be sure that tomorrow you will also have yours broken... how would you like to be treated then

relationships are part of growing up

how you treat your fellow person will speak volumes in how you are treated later too...and what kind of partner would be attracted to a character exercising a compassionate or dispassionate disposition

if you enjoy hanging, what's there to miss? where's do you exactly see the adventure is what I am wondering and is their any risk of any regret later

above all, be nice! Treat others as you would like to be treated.

And if you must bravely conquest where most men do indeed dare, may the force be with you and guide you to exercise and build a strong character that you seem to be developing by being faithful by choice.

Also brace yourself to others who may not share you ideals or that do share your restlessness but to a greater degree, who may not be as reciprocating in being faithful. You have much to learn and experience naturally... prepare for the journey of laughter and tears and may you live each day as though it was your last ... do what you must. Love live and red line it if this is what drives you, so long as you do not hurt anyone.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 12
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Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 12:17:43 AM
It'll be kinder to her if you just break up immediately, and admit to her that you are an ahole and your real reason for breaking up. Just be straight with her. She's better off without you (and the longer you two stay together, the more of a shock it will be that you're not in this for the long run).
 wiseguy411
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 13
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Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 1:48:23 AM
I say tell her we are growing, we need the time to experience college and all it holds. Tell her you want to be friends but want to play alot of beer pong, get drunk, have crazy sex with girls your going to regret, have those crazy wild times when your freaked out not knowing did I use a condom or didnt I,and those worried days on end when you hear that some girl at that crazy party has missed her period. Trust me she will understand because im sure after you tell her she is going to be at some of the parties and doing keg stands with 3 buff guys holding her up. You also need to let her have all the fun with all those horny guys and all the one night stands its not right your the only one that gets to have all the fun banging other ppl and getting checked out at the local health department. Who knows things may work out later down the road and you two may get back together and raise the twin kids together since the real father will be unknown because of all the crazy parties WHOO Yeah were going streaking.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 14
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 1:56:52 AM
Wow, who the hell stole your balls????

Man up and just tell her, by not telling her your being an a$$hole already (esspecially since you've been on this site checking things out for months)
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 15
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:20:53 AM
Tell her so you won't be an azzhole.
You are 19 and should be seeing other people.

Most guys either stop all communication or date others with out telling.
Treat her how you would want to be treated in the same situation.

If you try and juggle women. You will get caught, get a reputation and all that comes with it.

Try not to make her into an enemy. Just that you think you should both be meeting new people unless you don't mind burning bridges.

She won't be thrilled or maybe she is thinking the same thing, unless you communicate you won't know.
 younowho
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 16
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:24:57 AM
guessing your both 19. hate to bust your ego, my guess is she's has 5 to 6 other guys hitting on her by now, and wishing you could find another G/F. One that would take care of your swolenfibers
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 17
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:59:52 AM
Its best if you feel this way to go ahead and end it, so you can both go on with your lives, expect her to be upset and ask why....just tell her the truth, there is no easy way to this, but everything in life ain't easy.

Curious though why living in this dorm for 4 months seems to have changed your feelings...you aren't listen to those B.S. stories from the other guys about all the great sex they get are you...?

3/4 of them are probably made up.
 lets fish!
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 18
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 3:13:22 AM
op, this is a hard situation for you and Im guessing because of your age, its a relatively new thing for you.
Ignore the arsehole comments, those are not going to help and when you want out, theres little else left except how to handle it well.

Some tips for your from someone that was dumped in a HORRIBLE way lol.

1. decide properly you really want it and if so, MEAN it and leave her alone afterwards (for her sake not yours).
2. Be sensitive to things like her birthday etc.. choose a day that wont shatter her more than it has to. But then again, if theres a stream of dates coming up, all you can do is decide on the least hurtful.
But, do it when she has a couple of days to herself if you can etc work, school.

3. Go and see her personally at her place and talk properly and make sure your phone is turned off and your willing to spend some time to let her talk it out properly.
It might sound squirmy now, but she WILL want to know why and its better now that a month down the track when you least expect it.

4. Be HONEST and tell her that your not READY for the relationship and that you feel you just cant commit due to your circumstances etc etc.

5. DO NOT throw blame onto her if this is your total decision as this will hurt her enough as it is so be sensitive. BUT also keep it honest.

good luck and chin up. These things are never easy for either person. all you can do is try to do it in the most honorable way you can.
 EmotionallyDetached
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 19
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 3:23:50 AM
While you are trying not to be an azzhat, she is prolly indulging herself. Go ahead and tell her how you feel. College life for the younger crowd is not easy because there is so much going on and it is a whole other world. Just ask yourself if it is worth giving up your gf just to be able to screw around.

Sex and being in love are two separate things. While it is fantastic to have sex with someone that you love and care about, it doesn't have to be looked at as something to do with someone you love. That is why fvck buddies and fwb exist.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 20
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Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 4:18:20 AM
Aieee! So many "you ARE an a$$hole" comments.
No, you aren't, you are a typical college kid. The single MOST common thing to happen to high school kids who go to the same college, is to feel they need to break up for no reason other than to experience more people. Make and female alike. The challenge for all of them, is what you face, wanting to start dating freely, but NOT wanting to either appear to be a jerk, or feel like one.
There's no way to make sure that she isn't hurt and/or angered by your decision, so be frank with her, and be gentle in how you express it. Tell her that you feel it's too soon for either of you to commit to one person, as you have too much to learn. That's the truth, and the truth is ALWAYS the best approach. ACCEPT her anger or pain, if that's the result, and BE A FRIEND to her in response: being a friend means NOT holding her reaction against her, or claiming (as I've so often seen ) that her reaction to being dumped PROVES you were right to dump her.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 21
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 4:32:32 AM
Maybe I didn't advise you in the way you needed....

Be sincere, and pick the right moment....tell her she has great qualities, and you like her, but are just not ready yet to settle to one person. ..keep in mind how you would feel if she were telling you this, and how you would want to be told.

Tell her you do care for her and will be there for her when she needs a friend...there really is no easy way to do this, so just be as gentle as you can.

I know for me it hurts me to tell someone this, because I know what hurt is and don't wish it on anyone else....
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 22
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 4:42:57 AM

I basically want to know how to end things without looking like an ***hole


This is your first mistake...worrying about looking like an ahole. If you do it where you screw her over...then yeah you will.

If you just tell her that you're wanting to change things...less like one but she will be mad and hurt. You can't avoid that, if that's what you're trying to do. There's no way to avoid it baby.

Just realize that the grass ALWAYS seems greener on the other side of the dorm room my friend.

And that maybe once you do break up you'll realize that you do want her back. And maybe you'll be able to get her back. Or not.

Be nice as you can and that's all that you can do. How she reacts is out of your hands.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 5:40:11 AM
I can't believe some of the responses you are getting! People, he is not being selfish, shallow, an ahole, or anything of the sort. He is being young, because he is young. The majority of high school couples split after graduation. He is smart enough to realize that he has a lot of living to do before settling down. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact there IS a lot right about it!
Dude, just tell her you realize that you are not ready for a serious commitment, even though you do still have feelings for her.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24
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Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 5:51:49 AM
Just tell her you want to see other people and are not happy having an exclusive realtionship anymore. She will be completely pissed off at you but you have to do what makes YOU happy.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 25
Breaking up with a girl for no reason.
Posted: 1/6/2010 9:21:15 AM
Being honest and true to yourself isnt always the kindest to others, but that is just life.

Be honest and caring, but do sit down with her and tell her you are not ready for an exclusive relationship.

Will it be difficult? Yes it will. But in my experience, the things we often need the most, are the hardest to do. But it is worth it in the long run. This is where the saying 'short term pain for long term gain' is coined from.
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