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 jrcook84
Joined: 1/4/2010
Msg: 1
Something I have been wondering...Page 1 of 1    
What would you think of a guy that has always had a girlfriend from early childhood to his teens but there is a catch while this his mother used to beat him reasons unknown and it may seem a little childish but he was also made fun of by girls all the girls to be true which also began in the 4th grade and continued throughout high school also. But what do you thinks happens to his emotions after all the years have gone by? madness? self pity; god forbid him to blame himself. any ideas?
 derfofraleigh
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 2
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 1:51:22 PM
If you know and comprehend the difference between right and wrong, legal and illegal. Then you need to stop blaming mom for decisions you make or have made as an adult. You have a choice everyday. You can wake up happy, or you can wake up sad. YOUR CHOICE.
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 3
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 2:10:50 PM
you might want to consider counsiling......you have some ghosts to bury.............and you need to do that before you get into a serious relationship and they come back to haunt you...............might not seem like the "manly" thing to do......but its the right thing
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 4
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 2:34:01 PM
As mentioned before Therapy is very helpful, not probably the answer you wan't to hear though. You need to get to that point where you accept that the past is the past and start living for tomorrow. You are young and have a full life ahead of you, we have all gone through problems in our past but the way we present ourselves today should be the focus. You will find another girl, fall in love again and accept you had a crappy childhood. If you feel that you're depressed you should talk to a doctor about medication, it could be a good thing for you.
 I Cornelius
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 5
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 2:42:00 PM
First... I think he may eventually develop punctuation problems.

Second... if any of this in indeed first hand experience, then only you would know how well you are dealing with these past events. However, if you "always ha a girlfriend" then I'm sure there were at least a few gals that did not tease you and you might very well be blowing past incidents out of proportion and not letting go. I've had experience with a friend who had/has such a social condition and it was a sign of something much, much worse... so I'd suggest some professional help to deal with your traumas.

If, however, you are just trolling and are high as a kite right now... eat it, buddy.

Oh... and third... he does cool things with his hair.
 Hullahup
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 6
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 2:42:25 PM

You can wake up happy, or you can wake up sad. YOUR CHOICE


What a stupid thing to say
 BorneoBabe
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 7
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 3:33:28 PM
I can't understand what your saying.

Please use english.

But i'll have to say my opinion would be he would have all of those feelings.

It would be a horriable experience.

How does he treat the girl? I can't imagine he has much respect for the female race.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 8
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 5:52:23 PM
Wow, not many gals here for you tonight man. Sorry, that's rough. But women generally come to the internet to elevate their expectations. I would guess a good deal of them prefer survivors over victims. 'Attitude is everything."

Tomorrow is what you make of it.
 Aisfor_Amanda
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 9
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 6:14:23 PM

What would you think of a guy that has always had a girlfriend from early childhood to his teens


I would think he was scared to be alone.

his mother used to beat him reasons unknown


tragic. I hope he can grow from this crappy experience

it may seem a little childish but he was also made fun of by girls all the girls to be true


Kids are cruel and a lot of people were made fun of as a kid. But since he's always had a g/f, apparently he wasn't made fun of by everyone.

But what do you thinks happens to his emotions after all the years have gone by?


If he's like me, he's learned not to care. He's turned the pain inward so people don't matter anymore.
 Naganadoy
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 10
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 6:15:53 PM
i really dont understand a lot of what you said due to the poor punctuation. HOwever....from what i could skim off it i get the idea that is YOU youre talking about and that your mom and school mates were a-holes. yeah.....its truuuuuuueeee good ol MOMMIES can be a-holes!!!

if that is the case, then first t hing is to acknowledge and accept it. dont deny it or feel some weird need to protect her. if shes an a-hole. say it. shout it out loud!!!! fact is a fact. noooooo need for you to carry the burden or some twisted guilt for the actions of an a-hole. then. after all that.......BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! other youre jsut gonna wallow around in hate and anger. thats a dumb way to live your life.

as far as the school mates go......for gods sake stop cryin about that. kids are mean rude little evil lunatics!! they rejoice REJOICE in making other kids miserable. its natural for them to do that. its natural for the strong memebers of a litter, or birds in a nest to kick the crap out of the weaker ones. its Normal....natural....nature.......more food for the winner.

human kids are the same exact way until someone teaches them to act civilized and they develop morals of their own to guide their behavior. soooooo they were stupid punks who knew no better. GET OVER THAT TOO HONEY......you only option is get over this crap or wallow in it. your choice.

you dont have to like it, you dont have to "forgive" anyone. but you do have to accept it happened and you dont have a time machine to undo it. its done. NOW WHAT?
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 11
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 6:42:44 PM
Beating the kids was acceptable form of enforcing discipline back in the day.
Your mom probably grew up the same way, and she didn't know any better.
You are not the only one, you are one of the many at the receiving end of adult frustration.
Grow out of it. That was then, this is now.
You can not spend the rest of your life grieving about a tough childhood kiddo.
Just remember later on, when you will have your own kids, that there are better ways.


 Nickv89
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 12
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/15/2010 11:42:01 PM
I can actually say I have been there.. but hey this is what happens with regards to the mom situation. My dad remarried and I lived with him as a child and boy did I ever regret my childhood because of his wife. It came to a point where things got bad and stuff was said and done that I can say I regret doing. Not all people end up with the shitty end of the stick and like what was said on top you have to take it upon yourself to get up every morning and decide who your going to be that day. I wake up everyday and think to myself about what Im going to do. Im happy now knowing that Im out of my parents house and stuff you just got to move on and let those things go and the quicker you do that the happier you will become.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 13
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/16/2010 8:08:18 AM
Im sorry to hear about your upbringing, I agree, counselling could help. Do what you can to better yourself, to make some good out of the situation. No one deserves that, be sure that you are able to break the cycle, and when the time comes that you are a parent, remember what it was like, and shower your children with love and understanding. Then they will grow up feeling loved, and can do the same for their children as well. You have the power to affect so many lives, when the time comes, generations of people that will live on long after you are gone.

Also, take comfort in the fact that one day you will pick which old folkes home she goes to.



Karma.
 2funnyhaha
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 14
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/16/2010 12:10:43 PM
Thank you to those who hated me; you made me a stronger person.

There's more than one way for you to look at this. Are you a victim, or a survivor? Are you weak, or strong? Are you helpless, or in control of yourself?

The only time your past can hurt you is when you don't turn it around to help others.
All the psycho babble in the world won't help. (tried it) Doing for others who have been in your situation will. It gives purpose to your being.

Be the phoenix.
 Cedarwinds
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 15
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/16/2010 7:16:46 PM
that has always had a girlfriend from early childhood...Thats not a "girlfriend".

his mother used to beat him reasons unknown..Emotional baggage. Possibly effeminate male.

and it may seem a little childish but he was also made fun of by girls all the girls to be true which also began in the 4th grade..Girls make fun of boys all the time, because their general interpretation of boys in 4th grade is "Boys are stupid".

and continued throughout high school also....Now the boy has self esteem problems and should seek professional therapy.

But what do you thinks happens to his emotions after all the years have gone by? ....blueballs for one. But whatever, this guy needs to get professional help first before he starts seeking relationships.

What would you think of a guy ...Women would view this situation as a dealbreaker. Too much emotional baggage to be relationship material.
 GMCAcadia
Joined: 5/6/2004
Msg: 16
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Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/16/2010 11:22:05 PM
The only thing that comes to mind here is "Seek Counseling"... There are just way too many issues here to deal with and you need to fix that lump about 3 feet above your ass before you even think about dating...
If what you say is true, it is in NO Way your fault, which is why you need to "Seek Counseling"...


Okay I'm going to highlight 2 things you said, one right after the other that seem like a huge contradiction that I just don't understand at all...

What would you think of a guy that has always had a girlfriend from early childhood to his teens
and it may seem a little childish but he was also made fun of by girls all the girls to be true which also began in the 4th grade and continued throughout high school
Okay, you've always had a girlfriend, but you were always made fun of??? Am I the only one not understanding this???
 Chill Pill
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 17
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/17/2010 10:21:11 AM
You are not alone. My mother used to beat me vicious and I never really understood why.
You can carry that with you for your entire life like a millstone around your neck or you can forgive her and find some freedom from the bondage.
My mother died when I was ten, so I had to forgive a dead woman. It was hard but with prayer and councelling I did it.
You can unburden your soul and be whole if you can find it in your heart to forgive her.
Forgive the girls that taunted you. Forgive.
It is really not about the person that hurt you, forgiveness is about finding peace for yourself.
If you let yourself live with resentment you will only hurt yourself.
 whzcheatinwho
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 18
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/17/2010 11:16:30 AM
You can live in the future or you can live in the past, it is your choice. You don't have control of the past, except to try and forgive and forget. If you continue to focus on the past you will make it larger in your life than it is, or needs to be. You only have to live in the past if you choose to.

You do have control of your future and what you choose to make of your life in the future. No one is responsible for you and your choices going forward except you. You're past will not be responsible for your future, you are.

As others have said you can try counselling, everyone is different, every counsellor is different, maybe it will help you. More helpful will be to seek positive experiences for yourself as they will build happiness and confidence in yourself. Help others who are less fortunate than you are, there is always someone who is! Focusing on others will help to make your problems seem less significant, as well as creating opportunities to share positive experiences and friendships with others. Those are the things that will build a happy future for you, living in the past will not.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 19
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 1/18/2010 11:41:48 PM
op,
i would definitely suggest the help of a therapist. you also have try some therapy of your own to try to get into a happier, better mindset. ie. try not to ruminate on it...try to change your thought patterns...if reinforce more positive thinking for long enough, it can have an effect on your mind.
 handivac
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 20
Something I have been wondering...
Posted: 2/9/2011 10:29:32 AM
my dad remarried.. i was 12 and his wife molested me..at the time i thought it was cool. this went on and my friends said go for it..after 1 years she had me having sex with her a couple of times a week, this went until I was 18 and moved out. she tried to come to my apt and continue but I finally told my Dad and he hid in closet and caught her in progress and divorced her. I went to counseling and was told I was damaged because of this. Now its 25 years later and I loved it then and still have fond memories. guess it was a cultural thing. I learned alot from her and Dad and i are still friends.
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