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 mrloverboy159
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 1
When a girl says she's confused?Page 1 of 1    
For the last 2 month's I have been talking to this girl who I like, met her over another internet dating site. After a short while we met up which went ok. Soon after I tried to meet up with her again, a week later in which she cancelled on me but said she arrange another day to meet, the thing is she is in her final year of Uni and is busy with alot of work. As of which I have been unable to meet her for a duration of 5 weeks!! She has told me every time I’ve asked her to meet up she said she will but when it comes down to it she says she to busy even though she'll reassure me that we will.

I managed to meet up with her on a night out, where she wasn't very forthcoming, although still talking to me, I found this abit odd. The turning point is though the next day we spoke and she mentioned 'was I awkward last night' I then replied yes. What then transpired was the fact she mentioned she was feeling alittle confused over 'lot of things' and said it was 'hard to explain' and apologized for being awaked with me. This was said after I mentioned I am wasting my time in which she told I wasn't.
She has told me that she likes to stroll through and not rush things.

So now I'm feeling confused also as to what she wants? can anyone make heads or tales of this situation?
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 2
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 7:48:44 AM
"Mrloverboy?" Just my opinion but that name kind of connotates a player for me. Are you plasying this young woman? Be honest.

However hot or well spoken this young woman might be you have to ask yourself: Am I willing to invest in a relationship the other party is quite reluctant to undertake? You're young, they're are plenty of young women looking for a good young man willing to be exclusive/monogamous. Guys your age are at their peak; ones capable of an adult, monogamous relationship are generally harder to find.

Have you even suggested exclusivity?
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 7:51:27 AM
It could be a dozen things , OP- from letting you down easily to simply being just what she says it is. She may have gotten out of a relationship just prior to meeting you and got burned. Either talk to her about it and resolve it or allow nature to take it's course.
I would talk to other women and go out unless that's not your style.
 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 4
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 8:11:06 AM
She's Confused = she is not into you.

She is trying to let you down easy, take the hint, find another. Even if I am wrong, finding another has a miraculous way of de-confusing women when they find out you are wanted by another.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 5
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 8:28:27 AM
she is confused because she likes you and someone else and the someone else is higher on her want list than you.

end of discussion

 ForumFlounder
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 6
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 9:34:45 AM
If she can't even tell you what she wants do you think we can tell you what she wants??

I'd say from the sounds of what you wrote here, perhaps it'd be better to move on to other ponds if you want someone who is physically and emotionally available for you. Otherwise she might just drag you on without any clue as to what she wants.
 Lia-Nicole
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 7
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 10:08:02 AM
She is most definitely not interested, but she just doesn't know it. It sounds like she's not ready or into you right now, but doesn't want to say no and lose the possibility. As a college student myself, I know what it's like to be extremely busy with school.. but 5 weeks? If I really liked the guy I could cram an hour or two in there. She's just using school as an excuse.
So no, it doesn't sound like you're the player MrLoverboy, but instead it is she.
 2funnyhaha
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 8
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 10:11:28 AM
She's blowing you off and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Sorry.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 9
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 11:50:35 AM
Although her verbal communication isnt clear to you, her non verbal communication is speaking volumes.

As a younger man I never realized how much women actually speak with non verbal communication, and like you, I was confused. With more experience, and learning to listen to what isnt being said will help you greatly.
 Aisfor_Amanda
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 10
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 11:53:34 AM
You're confused. She's confused. Everyone's confused. But I don't really think she's confused. She seems to like the attention you give her by chasing after her. I don't think you're really confused because you liked the chase at first but are now feeling as though you're wasting your time. You are. Move on.
 pnayplayr
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 11
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 12:40:13 PM
it's only been 2 months and you're already going through this "confused" stage.

move on...there are other people out there who's fun to spend time with.
 Cedarwinds
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 12
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 12:48:09 PM
but when it comes down to it she says she to busy even though she'll reassure me that we will. ...Oh come on, man up here. She at the university, that usually means intense studies and homework. She knows as well as you do, that your interest is sexual. She hasn't go time to waste on that right now.

She wants to graduate. THAT is what is important to her right now. Not playing bf and gf with someone from the internet.

Give her loads and loads of space, if shes interested in you, she'll contact you. You've made your intentions clear, now go contact and date other women. Don't wuss out and tell her "Its me or nothing". She has goal, respect that. And its okay for you to date other women .
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 13
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 12:52:38 PM
What's it matter what she wants? Someone should be paying attention to what you want, and it isn't going to be her, so you'll have to do it.

You want a girlfriend, or at least some dates that might lead to actual physical contact, right? And it isn't going to happen with this girl. So forget what she wants, because that's her problem, and look for girls who do want to spend time with you.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 14
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 1:00:21 PM
Actually I can!

Like MANY things especially it concerns another person, people often get overly confused about what the other person is thinking and wonder how they should react to that… then end up here :)

The bottom line is what do YOU want to do given all of this? Do you still want to keep trying and see what may happen or, do you still want to try but still meeting other women or, stop and break everything with her by telling her that she should contact you when she is ready to start something more serious?

The choice is your!
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 15
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 2:38:09 PM
Op I have to agree with the others, usually confused = Not that into you, some one else is jigher on her ladder ladder.


http://www.laddertheory.com

"Ladder Theory" will give you a better perspective of how things work.

 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 16
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/27/2010 2:47:00 PM
I just have to laugh! Men always rationalize first, when women clearly show signs of disinterest! After all, she has to like me, right? She's just been REALLY busy! Yeah, thinking about someone else (or worse) ! lol

However, to answer you question.

Often times, a woman is attracted to a guy because of certain qualities or behavior. No, it's not the guy, "She Likes" because, she probably doesn't even know him. Then, when she better gets to know him, possibly and usually the guy exhibits other traits, she is NOT attracted to, or worse, he turns out to be someone entirely different, from what she thought he was or would be. Hence, confusion. At that point, it's probably pretty much over, already!

A typical scenario is where a guy appears confident and in control, which girl finds attractive, and then turns out to be Needy,Insecure and out of control.
 Foxi Pavement
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 18
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/28/2010 1:22:20 AM
After a similar experience and hindsight is 20/20 I wholly believe she is blowing you off.
 greenhills
Joined: 10/11/2009
Msg: 19
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/28/2010 1:47:11 AM
Sounds like she's just keeping you around, you know, just in case? You're a plan B, or someone to go to when she gets bored. Sure school can be demanding, but as a fellow student I know that the new semester just started 2.5 weeks ago. It should only now be getting demanding, and what happened with the previous 2.5 weeks? Time to move on.
 PunkJesster
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 20
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When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/28/2010 3:27:42 AM
I'm sort of confused by this woman. She admits her awkwardness but then gets all uppity about moving too fast. BLAH! Obviously she is very driven to finish her degree, which I respect and understand - the last year is always rough, but she keeps stringing you along which is ridiculous.

If I were you, I would continue chatting with her, let her make the dates with you, be totally casual about it - but do NOT chase her. Date other women and see if this one wants to do anything after she has graduated if you're still interested/available. This way you haven't wasted time playing the waiting game just to be disappointed.
 boredandcurious79
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 21
When a girl says she's confused?
Posted: 1/28/2010 7:32:27 PM
don't waste your time. tell her that she can call you when she works all her issues out..no need to bring you down with whatever she has going on. sounds like she's keeping you around for when it's good for her
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