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 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 1
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Men in their 60sPage 1 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Color me baffled. What are men in the late 50s to late 60s looking for? If they say they are looking for friends and hope one will turn into something more, what is the something more? Is it a long term FWB they want? What’s with all the ‘soulmate’ garbage? Personally, I don’t need someone else to make me ‘complete’ - I’d just like someone else to share lives with. It’s bewildering to me to read in a man’s profile that he’s looking for his ‘other/better half’ or his ‘little girl’ - see above, I’m a complete person, no halfs missing, and at my age, I’m sure as hell not looking for a Daddy. Same thing with ‘spark’ and ‘chemistry’ - those are nice, but they’ve gotten me into quite enough trouble in my life! If someone says they are looking for an ltr, what do they mean by it? Is ‘long term’ a week, a month, a year, but no more? Is it just until the better ‘next’ shows up?

In fact, forget about baffled, color me out of commission. Latest case in point - a couple months of emails and phone conversations every night, seems like a nice guy, lots in common (on the same page in life experience, as someone else put it), planning a visit in late spring, then - poof. Gone. No goodbye, no excuses, explanations, nothing - just “I’ll call you tomorrow night” which didn’t happen. I’m really tired of having long email conversations - and I do mean long - just to have someone say at some point “Oh, I’m not planning to MEET you, I have plenty of dates lined up, I just like the stories you tell.”

So, the question remains: what DO men in their 60s want?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 5:37:04 PM
I hear you Kari, and have experienced such of the same ole.

People get annoyed here at pof because I try to ask people to look at the stats of how many older people are actually going to end up with a forever partner at our age.

Long gone are the days where I even think about all the point you brought up OP. For some time now, I think in terms of what I want. If future partner falls into my arms, great, if not I will be too busy to worry about what men my age want, or why they act the way they do.
 Marathoner_in_Training
Joined: 10/7/2009
Msg: 3
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 5:44:46 PM
OP, I have no friggin clue... the question could be applied to men AND women in their 50s, 40s, and even 30s. People don't know what they want. They have this kid in the candy store mentality that there is ALWAYS someone better around the corner. It's a numbers game, face it. I don't get involved too much in the beginning just for that reason so it's a lot easier to move on from someone doing the disappearing act than when you invest a lot of time writing and talking. I now like to meet quickly.

But even then I don't invest too much. Because one thing I noticed is that people are fickle and well, if they want to play that game, they're on their own.

Hang in there...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 6:11:51 PM
There are indeed people in the 45+ age group who don't know what they want. I don't understand it, but then I don't have to understand other people. For my money, people who don't know what they want, or can't express what they want are too high maintenance. Let them go off figure it out (as if that is going to happen after all these years), and they can get back to me
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 5
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 7:19:01 PM

There are indeed people in the 45+ age group who don't know what they want.

I think many people know what they want. The problem is they know what they have to give up in order to attain it - and that is where the problems start surfacing. I don't believe most who say they don't know what they want. I'm more apt to believe they realised what they must give up... thus playing the stupid act (excuses) as the OP states.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 6
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 8:06:36 PM
Have to agree with MI. We over 45 know what we want for sure. The difficult thing is finding it without complications from another's previous life...onward and upwards as they say! Thanks MI!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 7
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 8:07:12 PM
Op, what you are looking for is a guarantee...no one knows...you met someone or met them online and as you talk to them and they talk to you...you end up figuring out what the other person is about...

What one man might want from you could be completely different from what he would want from me....I might be the best friend of someone and you might end up the love of his life but until you get to know the person...you dont know what you will be to the person...

The issue is that no one wants to get to KNOW someone else without a guarantee that it is going to work, so they handicap themselves and everyone else by having a passive approach..they dont show who they really are cause they dont want to risk..the hurt, the time, the energy or whatever...or if they have been trying really hard after a few failed ventures they now hold back to see what the other person is going to do...
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 8
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/28/2010 10:18:02 PM
Actually, at my age, if they "just disappear" I start thinking ICU. And that's usually been the reason. And it ain't going to get any better, either. So either I give up the idea of a mate, or I learn to sit still, and wait. Waiting is hard. A lot of peeps prefer not to do it.

 Cedarwinds
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 9
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:12:41 AM
Okay, first stop wasting time with emailing more than 1 to 5 days if they live in the immediate area. Meet as soon as possible. This will eliminate a lot of garbage.

Men in their 50 and 60s are looking to get laid. If not immediately, then soon. So if you're not attracted to them, then move on.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 10
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 3:17:38 AM

In fact, forget about baffled, color me out of commission. Latest case in point - a couple months of emails and phone conversations every night, seems like a nice guy, lots in common (on the same page in life experience, as someone else put it), planning a visit in late spring, then - poof. Gone. No goodbye, no excuses, explanations, nothing - just “I’ll call you tomorrow night” which didn’t happen. I’m really tired of having long email conversations - and I do mean long - just to have someone say at some point “Oh, I’m not planning to MEET you, I have plenty of dates lined up, I just like the stories you tell.”

So, the question remains: what DO men in their 60s want?


Good rule of the thumb.. Don't email too long before meeting.. Unless you have extra time on your hands to take a chance on the same scenario happening.

Men in their 60's want different things.. Some want FWB, some want a live in companion to share life with and some want marriage.. They do not all want the same thing no more than all of us do in our 50's and 60's?

thecatsmeoww
 Resident Male
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 11
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 4:24:17 AM

I think many people know what they want. The problem is they know what they have to give up in order to attain it - and that is where the problems start surfacing.


I think people tend to know what they don't want. People want relationships so that they don't end up alone. There's going to be some giving up of yourselves to fit in with another person. How much are we willing to give up? I think the older we get, the more set in our ways we get. A new relationship represents change. Change can be scary. Perhaps fight/flight enters into it?
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 12
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:30:34 AM

Men in their 50 and 60s are looking to get laid. If not immediately, then soon. So if you're not attracted to them, then move on.


Boy you summed it up rather quickly that is indeed what most of them want. So the next time you meet someone for coffee say to yourself is this someone that I think I could possibly share the night with in the future????

thecatsmeoww
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 13
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:40:22 AM
Men up in their 60's.... what do they want in the 'relationship' department?

They're all individual and the answers would be varied, for sure.

But I'd bet the majority just want a woman with whom they can feel comfortable... and most likely would enjoy that to be for the rest of their lives.
They want to be accepted, and certainly not nagged.
And.. they want to still enjoy some sort of sexual play with her.

If all that ^ is happening via email and phone only.. it will putter out because it doesn't quite 'hit the spot' .. AND because it begins to get a bit scary to meet in person now that it's been too long. Fear of expectations falling short, and all that. Fear of upsetting the applecart that has been good the way it has been rolling along.

So, added to what I think the majority of men up in their 60's want, I'll say "a local gal".

But gosh... the more you think about it the more you realize it's sooooooooo varied, what they may want.
And what WE may want.
 jmw86able
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 14
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:47:51 AM
Thanks ^^^^ you are a breath of good aire. javascript:smilie('')
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 15
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:52:52 AM
Well, its certainly true that a man's first question to himself when he meets with a woman is along the lines of "Can I ever see myself getting into her culottes, and if yes, how long will it take?" followed fairly closely with the question "Would I want to nail her more than once?".

However, presuming positive feelings on the above essentials, which you should be able to easily detect by the nature of the CONTINUING conversation, he would be trying to discover if it would be possible for him to be happy having you around all the time, hold hands with you, and live life together with you. In other words, he would be trying to decide if he could bond with you and grow into a mutually loving relationship. He would be trying to discover whether he could get out of meeting strange women, most of whom are seriously bizarre in their behaviour and attitudes, and be able to move on the other things in life because he no longer had to worry about his relationship.
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 16
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:00:51 AM

What are men in the late 50s to late 60s looking for?


It's pretty simple, really. Female companionship for starters. Not emails, not phone calls, companionship.

To get a bit more specific, companionship with a female who will accept us, at our age, with all of the attached problems...

...limited, fixed income, somewhat reduced physical capabilities, a few aches and pains, hair that is gone from places where it belongs and appearing in places where it doesn't belong, musclature that has turned to something more like "sludge", some bodily functions that are not as dependable or regular as they were years ago.

We know what we are looking for, but experience shows that we have a better chance of finding a leprechaun riding on a unicorn.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 17
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:31:40 AM

In other words, he would be trying to decide if he could bond with you and grow into a mutually loving relationship. He would be trying to discover whether he could get out of meeting strange women, most of whom are seriously bizarre in their behaviour and attitudes, and be able to move on the other things in life because he no longer had to worry about his relationship.


While she is doing the very same thing as he is.. Unfortunately one can feel it and the other may not be..So the beat goes on.

thecatsmeoww
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 18
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:54:03 AM

It's pretty simple, really. Female companionship for starters. Not emails, not phone calls, companionship.

To get a bit more specific, companionship with a female who will accept us, at our age, with all of the attached problems...

...limited, fixed income, somewhat reduced physical capabilities, a few aches and pains, hair that is gone from places where it belongs and appearing in places where it doesn't belong, musclature that has turned to something more like "sludge", some bodily functions that are not as dependable or regular as they were years ago.

We know what we are looking for, but experience shows that we have a better chance of finding a leprechaun riding on a unicorn.

Oh my goodness! I see you are a newbie to this site - well okay, at the very least this incarnation as a newbie.

By reviewing your post, I see you have much to learn from the other men who post in these fora. Do you realize that you have probably sent the majority of men that post in these fora into a complete tailspin! The majority of them consider themselves to be nothing short of stud muffins who are in the greatest physique possible and who all want to take a go at doing the horizontal bop all night long at the first meet.

And you say that men in their 60's have problems such as like "musculature like sludge" or "undependable bodily functions" or "reduced physical activities". I say "pffffft" to that. No man in these fora is going to admit to any of this.

Having said that, I do think you are right on the mark when you say men 60 and over are looking for companionship but, let's face it, finding a leprachaun riding on a unicorn might be fun too!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 19
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:01:47 AM

No man in these fora is going to admit to any of this.


Well, I certainly am willing to admit to the hair thing. Eyebrows with long springy sprouts, same thing coming out of my ears and nose.

But, I am still a "stud muffin", at least a couple of times a year, if I have lots of warning.....
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 20
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:05:58 AM
Oh my goodness! I see you are a newbie to this site - well okay, at the very least this incarnation as a newbie.

By reviewing your post, I see you have much to learn from the other men who post in these fora. Do you realize that you have probably sent the majority of men that post in these fora into a complete tailspin! The majority of them consider themselves to be nothing short of stud muffins who are in the greatest physique possible and who all want to take a go at doing the horizontal bop all night long at the first meet.

And you say that men in their 60's have problems such as like "musclature like sludge" or "undependable bodily functions" or "reduced physical activities". I say "pffffft" to that. No man in these fora is going to admit to any of this.

Having said that, I do think you are right on the mark when you say men 60 and over are looking for companionship but, let's face it, finding a leprachaun riding on a unicorn might be fun too!


I believe in honesty, so yes, I'll admit to being "reincarnated" here....for the umpteenth time.

And I admit to everything I said, sorry guys, if I'm giving away our secrets.

Any man who is my age and still thinks he can do everything he did thirty, twenty, ten years ago is a fool who is only fooling himself.

I'm reading a lot that men at this age only want to "get la*d".....well, that may be part of what we want, but look at most of us...about our only chance of that happening is to go out and "rent" it.
So by "female companionship", in addition to a little "physical activity", comes many other things..."best friend" activities, "someone to talk with" activities, etc. It doesn't have to mean marriage or living together, although it would be nice if something would eventually lead to that.

oh...sorry, I mis-spelled "musculature".
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 21
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:09:27 AM

.limited, fixed income, somewhat reduced physical capabilities, a few aches and pains, hair that is gone from places where it belongs and appearing in places where it doesn't belong, musclature that has turned to something more like "sludge", some bodily functions that are not as dependable or regular as they were years ago.

We know what we are looking for, but experience shows that we have a better chance of finding a leprechaun riding on a unicorn.


Good gravy with that list you might remain celibate for the rest of your life.. Have to hope you bring some depends on your coffee meets?

Focus on all the good things you will bring to her table.. and you might just find that leprechaun riding on a unicorn..

Good luck and refocus..
thecatsmeoww
 Mr. Happy, PE
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 22
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:29:59 AM
Well, its certainly true that a man's first question to himself when he meets with a woman is along the lines of "Can I ever see myself getting into her culottes, and if yes, how long will it take?" followed fairly closely with the question "Would I want to nail her more than once?".


This nicely sums it up, at least for me in my late 50's. Two days ago I met a woman introduced to me by one of the lady friends I used to date. I arrived at the restaurant early and as she walked in the door and greeted me I knew I wanted to and probably had a good chance to jump her bones. Our lunch extended to two and a half hours and our next date I have set up at a restaurant having a romantic ambiance where a combo shows up at 9:00 pm so people can dance. When I asked her if she wnated to meet me there or have me pick her up at her place she quickly without taking a breath opted for the latter. My hopes are high and you all know what is on my mind.

Oddly enough my cell phone rang during our date because I had left it on in case she needed to call me for any reason and in "the heat of the moment" I had forgotten to turn it off. Of course I did not answer and it was a call from another woman I used to date who had shown up at my house to say hello and found I was not home. After we dated we were fwbs for a couple of years and she used to drop by unexpectantly in the afternoons when she was in the neighborhood. She once unexpectedly met another fwb by doing that! The other fwb stopped providing benefits after that but remained a friend and has remarried to a wonderful man. Although I have not dated this woman for some years and she is in a 4 year long relationship her son is in his last year of high school and she is having second thoughts about the guy. She wants to get together again. When it rains it pours for men in their 50's nearing 60! I love it!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 23
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:57:23 AM

This nicely sums it up, at least for me in my late 50's. Two days ago I met a woman introduced to me by one of the lady friends I used to date. I arrived at the restaurant early and as she walked in the door I knew I wanted to and probably had a good chance to jump her bones. Our lunch extended to two and a half hours and our next date I have set up at a restaurant having a romantic ambiance where a combo shows up at 9:00 pm so people can dance. When I asked her if she wnated to meet me there or have me pick her up at her place she opted for the latter. My hopes are high and you all know what is on my mind.

Oddly enough my cell phone rang during our date because I had left it on in case she needed to call me for any reason and in "the heat of the moment" I had forgotten to turn it off. Of course I did not answer and it was a call from another woman I used to date who had shown up at my house to say hello and found I was not home. After we dated we were fwbs for a couple of years and she used to drop by unexpectantly in the afternoons when she was in the neighborhood. She met another fwb by doing that! Although the other fwb stopped providing benefits after that she remained a friend and has remarried to a wonderful man. Although I have not dated this woman for some years and she is in a 4 year long relationship her son is in his last year of high school and she is having second thoughts about the guy. She wants to get together again. When it rains it pours for men in their 50's nearing 60! I love it!

Gosh, I am completely baffled at why such a self-proclaimed sauve and debonair ......ah......errrrr.......gentlemen such as yourself would be spending so much time on the computer on a free dating site when you could be otherwise engaged and entertained by jumping the bones of multiple women. I guess everybody eventually needs some down time to rejuvenate your get up and go before it's gone forever.

I do believe that most gentlemen actually look for female companions who have and are able to utilize the gray matter that is between their ears. I'm not saying that one can't f*ck the brains outta someone but intelligent conversation is everlasting when the dipstick surpasses its "best before" date.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 24
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:00:10 AM
Oh geez: I see that "my" age group has suddenly achieved primary post status... Just because one member of pof happened to have some kind of baffling or disappointing experience with one??? So now...(?) I guess all of us simply fall into that same gatagory. Typical reactions for here on the forums.

Speaking for myself, as a MAN over 60, I am moved by the "same" basic set of Human needs that everybody else is. So what I want is no mystery. Its really not about what we want... is it? It never is. Its all about "how" we go about attempting to get it. It is within this process that 'everything' is determined.

I have expereinced the disappearing acts from women with whom I thought I had a great communication going. Yes, its baffling and frustrating. But should it have any bearing on who and what I am? Hell no! And do I immediately begin classifying all the women of the age group with which I had the problem as screwed up or something? Hell no! Thats ridiculous.

Heres an observation about a lot of you women in the personals: I see what is allmost an obsession about declarations of (no casual sex!) or things along those lines. Then, I see these same women being suspicious and even sarcastic if the guy wants to spend 'too' much time emailing ect? Make up yer mind. The truth is, just relax and enjoy the ride. get rid of the unreasonable rules.

This is what I have discovered. People who have become reasonably authentic and functional don't have to have all the rules and declarations. Their identities and behaviors are not influenced by others. Develope a powerful sense of who you are and the confidence to be able to actually take care of yourself. then, the 'baffling' correspondents who disappoint or upset you, won't have any power to actually affect you in a signifigant way. (ie: I'm outta here...ect.) Get tough... have fun. Don't give up.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 25
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:42:17 AM

Men in their 50 and 60s are looking to get laid. If not immediately, then soon. So if you're not attracted to them, then move on


Havent you heard men in their 50's and 60's have ED and that can lead to some pretty sad being laid on the women's part.
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