| | Please enter your incomePage 1 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | I see we are now being asked for this when we log in. I also read of blocks based on income.
This is such an American thing - where it means so much to them. And are the figures required in $US $CN or £Sterling?
My income goes up and down hugely - I never know what I'll earn or have earned in a year until it ends. And personally I am more interested in someone's personality than their income - I'd run from anyone who was income focussed and have through POF dated both a millionaire and someone who was so skint it was untrue.
How do other people feel? Is income important to you? Historically our 'upper class' has included the landed gentry, industrialists and impoverished clerics. Our society has become much more meritocratic over the last decades (in my opinion a good thing) - but should money be a selection criteria or the reason for a block? | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:28:37 AM | I was a bit put off by that one too. My income ebbs and flows as I am self employed and also I don't like putting personal info like that on such a site as this!
I went out with someone who looked like he was doing ok, and then admitted he was in huge debt - so income is no real mark of whether that person is suitable for you or not.
I would be far more interested in personality, and whether they are matched to me, and whether they don't have a whole heap of weird baggage or addictions first!! | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:30:10 AM | i think it should be a selection criteria available to the people who think income is an importnt consideration.
personally, it makes not one bit of difference to me, and if i'm perfectly honest, feel more comfortable amongst the less wealthy, so i wont be using the filter, if and when it becomes available, but allow for the fact that, just as some people wont want to interact with me because i smoke, or because i have children, some people wont want to because of what i earn. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:46:09 AM |
so i wont be using the filter, if and when it becomes available
From what I read it is already in operation as a filter - without your "permisssion". If as a woman you have the higher end of the income bracket on your profile, then you won't get "lower" income chaps in some / all (I wasn't paying full attention by page 8 of the thread) of your searches.
But I think it isn't about matching us at all despite BigFish's protestations. Now he has set up an associated ad space marketplace (ads.pof.com) I think it's to do with matching us up with advertisers... targetted ads when we log in... | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:49:29 AM | | This is just wrong, and I'm very disappointed in POF for taking this step. There is just no way I want my income to be one of the factors that makes me attractive to someone. What were they thinking?! | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:51:59 AM | I think there is a good reason for this - I've tried having relationships with guys who earn far less than I do, and it never works.
Its ok saying money doesn't matter, but when he can't afford to go out, go on holidays, or even afford petrol for the car some weeks, after a while it starts causing bad feeling.
Offering to pay every time makes him feel bad.....or I ended up going places with friends rather than with him - and this again caused resentment.
I also dated a guy who had much more disposable income that I do...again that caused problems...I can afford maybe one holiday a year.....he enjoyed 3-4 a year plus weekends away etc. It wasn't feasible for him to have to pay for me every time, and I wouldn't have felt comfortable with that anyway. The relationship soon fizzled out because I had to keep saying no to things I coudn't afford to do.
I am not a money grabber - and am definitely not looking for a sugar daddy..........but....if incomes are totally different it can and very often does have a huge impact on a relationship. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:55:08 AM | Like Leannie, I will be glad if my income puts someone off, as that probably means they are not the one for me.... I think.
Although that is an option on the advanced search already, and I've just been checking results with and without... Maybe I'm more of a snob than I like to think, but whilst its far from foolproof, it did seem to weed out some undesirables when used in conjunction with smarts...along with most of the rest of the population though!
edit; I think the problem is with POF nagging constantly. It should remain completely optional to divulge this kind of info, and I don't think nagging is truly acceptable. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:55:54 AM | | ^^ all good points... but it should be up to us, as we get to know each other, to disclose what parts of income driven compatiblity is important to us. It should not be mandated... any more than, say, listing our IQ. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:57:23 AM | | but surely the salary brackets are so vague anyway they only give an indication of earnings......there is a big gap between 25k-35k | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:00:17 PM | i dont think income has anything to do with it on this site, i put my income down as the highest and had it down on my profile that i had retired due to large win and never got any more mail. i wasnt really telling the fibs ... just extending the truth as at the time i won 20 quid on the horses and had money left over from a day in wethers  | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:02:21 PM |
I think there is a good reason for this - I've tried having relationships with guys who earn far less than I do, and it never works.
My last 'serious' relationship was with someone who earned more than twice what I did. My 'serious' relationship before that was with someone who earned less that half my income. Money mattered not a jot and the reasons they ended had SFA to do with dosh. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:03:34 PM |
But I think it isn't about matching us at all despite BigFish's protestations. Now he has set up an associated ad space marketplace (ads.pof.com) I think it's to do with matching us up with advertisers... targetted ads when we log in...
Annie...
does that mean..if we say we earn under 25k..we will get(clear your debt now ads)and if you say you earn...100k a year....ads about holiday apartments in "costalot places". | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:05:59 PM | | Acht its just to make the site appear more up market.......draw in a larger amount of people who may look on the site as full of people like myself (does seem to have that name). Most will probably lie about it anyway to give themselves a wider choice, so nothing will be gained in the end........only even more complaints than we already have with liars cheaters etc ..........just adds a new one to the list he/she lied about their income. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:09:44 PM |
My last 'serious' relationship was with someone who earned more than twice what I did. My 'serious' relationship before that was with someone who earned less that half my income. Money mattered not a jot and the reasons they ended had SFA to do with dosh
that's fair enough - we all have our own experiences, however from my experience, and that of many of my female friends, dating guys who earn much less than we do has never been a success. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:30:25 PM |
does that mean..if we say we earn under 25k..we will get(clear your debt now ads)and if you say you earn...100k a year....ads about holiday apartments in "costalot places".
Wellllllll...
I'm 58 this year - the ads I most frequently see are for CougarLife (now there's one time I think WTF is an appropriate expletive!!!) and Botox Alternative. Oh, and ads for getting rid of Joint Pain... And the latest? "If you should die unexpectedly" Life insurance so my loved ones can pay the bills.
I guess you might just be right...
Perhaps Firefox users with Adblocker have a point... | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:23:06 PM | Agree with what mizphitz has said.
Extremes in either directions can cause problems.
I've worked hard to get here and be able to enjoy holidays etc. I can't afford to always pay for someone else but I don't want to have to give them up or go alone if dating
I'm getting a bit fed up of being expected to apologise for being comfortable financially and to almost have to pretend I'm struggling. One man said I was showing off because i enthused about my ipod touch. ! | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:28:26 PM |
I'm getting a bit fed up of being expected to apologise for being comfortable financially and to almost have to pretend I'm struggling. One man said I was showing off because i enthused about my ipod touch. !
thank god for that ! I thought I was the only one.........it's the same on every forum I've ever used......if you don't plead poverty or go on about how you are struggling to survive on benefits all the time, people accuse you of being "flash" or "materialistic".
it seems it's ok to be vocal about being poor......but as soon as anyone says "well actually, I'm doing ok thanks" or mentions they have a new car or what ever, they are jumped on from a great height as if it's an offence to be on a decent wage! | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:28:28 PM | what I ding particularly irratating about this latest is that there has always been an income option but the way this was worded, if you dont then you wont show up in the list of pics etc, seems a litttle heavy handed of the Big Fish.
Sledgehammer to crack a nut springs to mind.
Maybe everyone should just choose the highest bracket :-) | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:42:24 PM | | My income is nobody's business and I have no interest in a woman for whom earnings are an issue. I care about the person not the clothes they wear or the car they drive and expect the same in return. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:53:37 PM |
I care about the person not the clothes they wear or the car they drive and expect the same in return.
all very noble I'm sure......and exactly what I'd expect to read on a public forum on a dating site.......but if she's earning £50k a year more than you and wants to pop off to Milan or Paris every other weekend..... holiday in the Maldives twice a year ..and ski during the winter.....could you keep up? | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:01:50 PM | It annoyed the hell out of me when I saw it. It is up to me what I choose to enter (or not) on my profile. The reply from POF Admin was absolutely useless (ie automatic) saying they hoped I liked the new enhancement to the site!
What was more annoying was they were intending to use the info to help find my best matches. I am sure thats for me to decide!
Not that happy about saying they would store the details of my income for me either. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:10:05 PM | Earnings are an issue to me
at times in my life i've handed food back at supermarket, wondered how mortgage will be paid etc
i don't want to go back there thank you very much
doesn't mean I'm a snob or money obsessed or even rich, just means I dont want to struggle again
its one thing standing by a partner who comes by hard times (both directions in my marriage) but I'm not going to look for someone on benefits as a new partner just to be politically correct! | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:11:19 PM | My income has fluctuated massively over the years so while I appreciate the finer things in life I also know how to make stone soup. I'd hate to wind up with someone who would have a nervous breakdown because they lost their posh job at Lehmans (seen it happen), neither would I want to live with RabCNesbitt's twin.
Income is not a factor for me, especially in such uncertain economic times as I've seen too many honest hardworking souls from industries as diverse as high finance to construction go through the mill in the last 18 months. So really the POF income thing by itself means sweet fa to me.
The willingness to graft does matter in a major way as part of my reason for being on this site is my living in an area with a high % lifelong dss spongers. I'm buggered if I'm going out to work to support someone's daily can of tennants and Jeremy Kyle fix!
Working out if someone is a grafter or a sponger is something you only glean from talking to them. | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:21:49 PM | @yorkstyke Msg#21
The blooming matching system is 100% flawed anyways.
I'm a smoker that has an historical IE flag against his username (tarred for life )yet it still suggests that multiple other users who have specifically said they dont want to be contacted by smokers and/or people who have contacted people looking for IEs
Be nice if the basics were right first ;o) | |
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| Please enter your income
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:28:08 PM | Income is a relative thing.
I wouldn't want to date someone who is dependent on the rat race but wants to have it all and has taken huge loans for the show off luxuries.
Sorry, I said it wrong, I do not want to date anyone at the moment but the last person who I would date is someone who expects me to FIT into their living scheme, paying loans for the shinny stuff, forget it, that is not my style.
There are different people in the society, I do not think someone who is a strict saver and someone who likes risking by spending would be a good match, and that is one of the most important things in a serious relationship.
Looking from that corner, it is not how much someone earns but how they spend their money, to me it seems that two matching people should be matching in ideas how they like to spend their money. | |
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