|Small-Scale RomancePage 1 of 1 |
|I decided to clean house and toss out all my old love notes, poems, etc. As I was reading through them, I noticed that the vast majority were from back in high school. Now, is it just me or does it seem like 'the little things' flew out the window as soon as high school ended? Suddenly, adorable notes just for the heck of it or 'get well' cards when you become sick flew out the window. I still get them but typically only on special occasions. Long gone are the days of "Happy 1 week, 2 day anniversary" (which I admit is a little ridiculous looking back now). I still try to do the sweet little things like leaving notes around the house to be found or baking cookies just because...but why did the men seem to give up? I want high school romance to come back. In the past, you were excited to celebrate your one month anniversary...now it's something you're scared to even mention out of fear that the person you're with will think you're moving too fast. Your thoughts/experiences?|
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:44:34 PM
|Well, I guess that's the point. Getting notes and cookies and little things like that make you all mushy-gushy inside because it shows that he's thinking of you even when life is really hectic. It's the same way you felt when your mum or dad would make your pancakes in the shape of a heart as they were preparing for work...it's such a little thing but it has such an impact. If I could choose between a bunch of cute, random acts or a once a year vacation, I know I'd take the first option. Material things are nice and obviously appreciated but it's the little things that are more important to me.|
As for the cookies, I'm constantly changing it up. Sometimes it's cookies, sometimes it's banana bread...I'm currently working on cakes. There's this 4 part cake decorating class that I'm considering signing up for, so that might make things a little more interesting.
Posted: 1/30/2010 2:21:13 PM
|You took cake decorating?! That's amazing! I'm definitely up for the trade-off. There's this one recipe I'm working on perfecting. The cookies taste just like two-bite brownies. I'll make you some heart-shaped pancakes until that recipe is up to snuff.|
p.s. never mind the pancakes, my grandmother would peel my grapes for me...now THAT is real love.
Posted: 1/30/2010 2:57:19 PM
|What the...my post isn't showing up. Let's retry this. I believe I said something along the lines of :|
If I found a man who would peel my grapes for me, I think he'd be the one as that is the true epitome of "small-scale romance". I mean, come on...that's true devotion. Mind you, a man who gives killer foot rubs and head/body massages without expecting immediate reciprocation is also way up on that list.
Posted: 1/31/2010 2:08:25 PM
Very true tiamo49... but it is kinda nice to see romance online.
Since I'm already here, I'm going to share.
Now, is it just me or does it seem like 'the little things' flew out the window as soon as high school ended?I don't actually like the whole I-love-you notes and little token thingamajigs. Drives me nutty. Always did and probably always will. So, I have no idea if the "little things" flew out after high school. But for the most part, teenagers are a romantic lot (in my experience), and have their romantic inclinations squished by the money sucking institutes of Higher Learning and pub crawls. As we get older, most of us tend to get busy and/or jaded and/or comfortable... so romance becomes somewhat forgotten.
MHO and YMMV
Posted: 1/31/2010 2:43:49 PM
|I was never into the notes and mushy crap - I was into the moment - how I was treated and how he responded to me as the days went on - no card or love letter would make things any different. I saw them as a guy who was trying to get out of some sort of trouble - or covering something up! Actions speak louder than words! I'm glad people (some) grow up!|
Posted: 1/31/2010 4:29:20 PM
As we get older, most of us tend to get busy and/or jaded and/or comfortable... so romance becomes somewhat forgotten.
I guess that's it right there. It seems like it's only missing for those reasons. So, when romance is still alive in an adult relationship, it makes a person feel that much more special.
As for it being a cover or an apology, I think that's a pretty jaded view. I know that I do them just because it's my way of saying "I'm thinking of you even when we're not together and thought that might bring a smile to your face." To me, flowers should be just because or for a happy occasion. If I'm upset with someone, I want them to resolve the problem with me through discussion...not buy their way out of it.
Posted: 1/31/2010 6:20:25 PM
| The day to day stuff is important to keep the relationship healthy the small gestures of appreciation and affection are to keep it exciting.|
Posted: 1/31/2010 6:40:58 PM
|Crikey! I never received 1 month anniversary notes, never mind 1 year notes! LOL|
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:03:22 PM
|Jaded - really?? Not in the least - but if you think of it - those moments when people get that crap is when the relationship is faultering. I've seen people get jealous of relationships filled with flowers - cards - love letters and then the next thing you see is divorce! I guess however I should not speak from experience since it has not been mine - I have always had men show me how they feel rather than fake it with crap!|
Posted: 2/1/2010 7:13:05 AM
|So by grown up you mean how you don't belittle someone else for having a different opinion right? Some men like to do the gestures like flowers, and small gifts. Ive had both kinds and in the relationships where the gifts and flowers were more common it was towards the end where they stopped, they weren't buying a get out of jail free card. They were just being themselves. Imagine that.|
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:49:26 AM
|Back in H-S things where shiny and new and exciting and everything was a special event.|
20~30 years later... most likely you have been around the block a couple of times and unless you meet that special someone that just rocks your world you are probably not going to celebrate the 2 days or the one week of being together. Relationship evolve at a different pass now and that is probably due to some of the life experiences that we endured. I cannot but help to think that if he recoils at the though of a one month anniversary, what his he going to do at one year and so fort.