| | Lack physical attention from girlfriendPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I cant remember the last time she gave me kiss. I brought it up before but nothing has changed. I know she loves me but I don't feel like she "wants" me. If we ever have sex it's because I initiate it most of the time. I tried to talk to her about being more affectionate and she said she will work on it but I don't see any changes. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:02:49 AM | | I don't get it, ok you have a girlfriend. Does she know you're on POF as single and dating? Maybe that's why you can't get laid! What are you doing, should I feel sorry for you....lol | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:12:43 AM | | You should move on and find a woman who enjoys being with you, it's that simple. Why would you want someone that doesn't want you? Drop her! | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 2:31:03 AM | Hey man, I can't see dropping people everytime something happens with out giving it everything first...A few things, are you showing her attention other than trying to get some sex? Going places just for fun? Brinking her something out of the blue to show you care?
Sometimes, not saying this is the case here, but a man just emphysises on the sex part, and forgets the rest...that can stiffle things a bit...make her feel like thats all you want her for. This can effect things.
Then its possible to, you are showing this bothers you too much...back off and make her wonder a bit, reverse phycology.
It might just be you are different in how much you show feelings, might be you aren't right for each other...
Sometimes if a man shows too much emotion that this is bothering him, makes him look weak, something not attractive to women....again, back off and reverse the situation...if any of these suggestions don't work, then you have a decision to make...if you can't be happy in this situation...then you might consider letting it go and finding someone who shows feelings the way you like. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:56:06 AM | What have you done lately that would make her WANT to have sex with you?
How do you know she loves you? Does she say it? Does she show it? Doesn't sound like it to me.
What does that conversation sound like? How long have you been dating her? How old is she? What kind of stress might be going on now?
See how I asked you 8 simple questions that you should be asking yourself and her? Do you think POF people have a crystal ball and are mind readers and know what's wrong with her?
How about this...go back to her, have a real conversation, and tell her how much you're worried. Or, better yet, review the whole situation in front of you and see if there's some stress that's right in front of you that you ain't seeing, then help her with it.
Oh, and fix your profile. If you aren't single then change it to reflect that...unless you're working on a new girlfriend. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:52:50 AM | | There are always two sides to these things, and I don't mean just that she has her own opinion about it. There's how YOU are behaving which might have changed between when things were going well and now (it's not uncommon for one person to become complacent, and stop putting effort and liveliness into the relationship, and then wonder why the interest has weakened from the other person); there's her PHYSICAL condition (she might need medical attention); she could be depressed. It could also simply be that you and she are done, and neither of you has put that together yet. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:45:00 AM | ok....
drop her like yesterday's news...
nothing good can come of this...but line up something first before you go....
she'll be on here posting about could you have cheated on her and left her holding the bag without a clue...
that way we'll get both sides of the story...
in my experience, a girl stops kissing is a preamble to her not wanting to be with you anymore.
personally I do not believe there is anything to "talk" about with her that will fix anything...
read the signs on the wall, that way you can break up with her before she breaks up with you... | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:52:45 AM | I'm with most of the rest of the fishies on this one... What kind of romance are you bringing?
When you tell us so little, it's as difficult to relate as when people overwhelm us with details.
Some people simply aren't demonstrative of affection, while other people get distant when another person has captured their attention.
Quite honestly, if she's the type that feels like being there is enough demonstration of her feelings, you aren't going to get additional kisses and affection by harrassing her about it. You may need to focus more on what you like about her, and less on the things you wish you were getting from the relationship... Lots of people destroy perfectly good relationships over little stuff. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 8:05:06 AM | | She's one of those women who need the man to show desire before she can respond. What she doesn't do, which is too bad, is invite your desire by making gestures. You'll get nowhere waiting for her to change. She won't feel like kissing you. That impulse doesn't happen for her. In her world, she is just there and then if you want her you make a fuss about it. When you tell her that she is supposed to be that same way toward you, she can't relate and thinks something is wrong with you. If you want a girlfriend who spontaneously demonstrates desire and affection in the same ways as you do, this one is not her. That's not to say she doesn't love you. She shows her love by how she receives your interest, but not by having any interest to show you first. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 8:12:46 AM | Maybe she's afraid to tell you you have dragon-breath. Or something similarly off-putting. Seriously! People can find it very difficult to say these things even when they think they are close. Or, maybe she's having some gynecological problems, and she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about them. Or, maybe she's uncomfortable initiating and prefers that you do it. Or, maybe she's just over you. There are endless other possibilities.
You have to ask her about it. You got her to say she'll work on it, so you're okay with bringing it up, but did you ask why this is changing? The root cause has to change first - then that'll change the behavior - it works in that order.
So ask her what's going on. The answer may be hard to take... or, then again, it may be something to which you can respond, "What, that's all? Oh, babe, no worries, we can fix that." She's the only person who can help you with this. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:27:31 AM | If you initiate a kiss, does she turn away or return the kiss?
If the former, you're over--or have a lot of work to do.
If the latter, that's just the way she is. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:34:55 AM | Could it be a simple dental/breath issue?
If not that, than the love is probably dwindling on lifeline.
There would have to be serious resentment on my side, for me to refuse or turn away from kissing my loved one. I'm eliminating the horrible kisser issue, provided you are both mature enough to discuss how you like to be kissed.
My advice, is sit and talk with open hearts and minds. M | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:45:41 AM | A lot of people have a hard time showing and giving affection. They weren't raised in a home that demonstrated affection usually.
All you can do is have a heart to heart and tell her what you told us- in a very positive way. Tell her your needs aren't being met and tell her what you would like the two of you to try to do to help things along. That is the golden opportunity to ask her about her wants and needs in the relationship as well.
ASK her why she doesn't initiate or show affection to you on her own. The answers should be both interesting and revealing. It may tell you that, with your patience and encouragement, that she can try to meet your needs and explore giving and initiating affection etc; it may also tell you that she' s not open to the concept or that she doesn't get it or understand it.
Then you would ultimately decide if you can live that way.
Best wishes
btw - it's common in a lot of relationships that this exists- often because a guy thinks he's giving her affection, when often that translates into a peck here and there, or only initiating kissing etc before sex. Relationships need to be nutured. You need to know her wants and needs and be willing to fill those as she should be for you. Does she want quality time with you, acts of service, little love notes here and there or what? It's worth finding out----- and sharing yours with her. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:48:52 AM | | Move on. She's lost interest and it's just a matter of time before she lowers the boom on you. She's probably cut another stallion from the herd. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:51:10 AM | It's time to drop the b!tch like she's hot.
Do you honestly think Snoop would put up with this?
It's time to move on.
No spark = No Love.
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:52:58 AM | | some women are cold-hearted and have no idea what affection means, so they don't give any because their brain can't wrap itself around the subject matter. it's because when they were little, they didn't receive any attention so when they grow up they either want all the attention or none at all. your girl wants none at all, personalities are hard to change. don't use threats to change her attitude, be like a car salesman and trick her somehow. you gotta be smooth as butter. just work on it | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 10:08:19 AM | Well duh, change the status.
OP, we don't know if you do anything that would warrant affection. Maybe if you tried to make her feel, um special, that would be helpful, but perhaps you already do.
No crystal bull is enough to unravel your dilemma. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 10:13:09 AM | | She's not interested in you that way, maybe she doesn't like affection or sex, or maybe she doesn't like it with you. But why date someone you don't like and they don't like you? | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:00:21 PM | | I don't know why people immediately conclude she doesn't want you or has lost interest. Some women think it's the man's 'job' to be the affectionate one and to initiate sex. Maybe your gf is one of those. Just talking about it won't change her - it'll take a long time and probably a lot of talks. | |
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| Lack physical attention from girlfriend
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:03:14 PM | OP, you claim old profile and not single? Yeah right ok. Why haven't you changed it then if that's the case? She prolly has learned your on here cheating. I hope you get dumped.
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