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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?      Home login  
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 lkm370
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 1
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok, I'm getting ready to turn 21(btw i dont come on this site for dating, i just come here to read the threads for advice), this year and lately ive been looking back on my life and ive been thinking about choices ive made and choices i need to make (college, moving out, etc...) and the truth is, ive never gotten drunk, ive never done any drugs, and ive never smoked and i'm still a virgin(ive gone to ever base except last though so to speak)...and im just wondering, am i missing out on life? Am i for lack of a better word, a loser? I cant help but think life is passing me by and everyones having fun and that I'll come to regret it later on.

I have no problem socialising, or making friends, im not shy, i can strike up a conversation with anyone but ive always abstained from doing any of these things and im just wanted to know because most of the people on this site are older than me and have been through much of this and had life pass them...am i missing out?
 lkm370
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 2
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:43:50 PM
and btw, this thread is not a pity thread, i dont want any pity or anything i just want to know, basically from your experience, am i missing out, should i drink, etc...
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 3
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:44:59 PM
I don't think u are missing out. I have gotten drunk in my life but honestly I simply have never been into partying and drinking and doing drugs. If that is how u feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As for being a virgin, what do u think u are missing out on? Sleeping with people who u probably won't be with 10 years from now? It's better to wait and have it be with someone special then to just do it to get it over with. I wish I would have waited because the guy meant nothing to me, unfortunately I was young, stupid and believed his lies. If I could do it over again I would have waited for the person I was with for 4 years because it would have been more meaningful to have it be with someone I was with long term rather then someone I was with for less than 3 months.
 rosebuds57
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 4
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:45:04 PM
Are you missing out on life?

Hell, your life hasn't even begun yet!

I know you probably will not like to hear this but.......you're still a baby. You've got plenty to time to screw things up.
 JWG86
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 5
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:46:27 PM
You are only missing out if you feel like you are.

This is an extreme example, but follow it with me...

A child who is blind, deaf, and paralized from the neck down is sitting on a park bench and laughing his head off, truly mesmerised by the feel of the wind blowing his hair and his mother rocking him.

To you, he is pitiful. His life is dull. He couldn't possibly be happy.

Yet there his sits, laughing and squeeling in delight, feeling as though nothing could possibly be better.

Who are you to say that he is not the happiest child at the park?

What one person may view as horrible, dull, boring, full of fail, could be a sanctuary of wonder for another, and vice versa. I know people who would drop dead of boredom if they were to stop working ER, and I know people who would crawl into a warm tub and slit their wrists in tears if they had to work at the pace of the ER.

We are all different, and until you do what makes YOU happy, you will always compare your happiness against someone else's standards, and this will make it very hard for you to be truly happy, and indeed lead to asking others if you are happy as you have done here.

Do what makes you happy, and you won't even think to ask a question like you just have.

Allow me to provide an example: Just the other day I tromped on the gas-pedal sending the back end of my car slewing sideways on an abandoned, wide road. I had a blast. Would I have missed out, had I not done this? You betcha! Would you? Who knows, such wanton waste of tires and senseless expendature of gasoline and apparent "recklessness" might completely disgust you.

Dance to your own tune, and if anyone tells you that you are out of step, you can rest assured that they lost their own beat long ago.
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 6
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:47:29 PM
missed out?.............well......your 21........so you have lots of time......

but yeah..........you missed out on a few things.................but...........nothing important........

let me ask this.....are you content and happy with your life?

in that case....you aint missed a dang thing
 lkm370
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 7
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:54:10 PM

are you happy and content with your life


somewhat, but not fully, most of my friends are party animals and some even work at clubs and they all think that its crazy that ive never done these things, so im starting to wonder wether the fact i havent done these things makes me "boring, lame, etc..."
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 8
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 4:56:05 PM
Hasn't passed you yet, but now you have a direction to point yourself in for your 20s. These are supposed to be your years of fun and debauchery. And you're at the beginning of it. Just let loose and enjoy them. The best piece of advice I can give you is don't be afraid to experiment or try things.

Go out one night and get drunk. Go get laid. Go try new things. Anything you don't like, you don't have to do again. No harm done.

The only way life can ever really pass you by is if you sit on the sidelines and refuse to experience any of it.
 JWG86
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 9
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 5:00:28 PM
somewhat, but not fully, most of my friends are party animals and some even work at clubs and they all think that its crazy that ive never done these things, so im starting to wonder wether the fact i havent done these things makes me "boring, lame, etc..."


Once again you are asking others if you are happy. I do not ask you if I am cold. I do not ask you if I am hot. I know if I am cold or hot and act accordingly.

Do what you feel compelled to do, but do it in an informed way. Nothing is free, debauchery sometimes carries a heavy price, and there is something to be said for falling asleep each night not wondering if you have contracted a disease, impregnated someone, or if you will be drug-tested at work tomorrow.

Nothing in life is free, figure out how much you want to spend and what you want to spend it on, and go spend it. We can't tell you how to spend your life any better than we can tell you how to spend your paycheck, quite worse at the former than the latter most likely, truth be told.


I wish i could get my "stupid" years back.


Isn't it amazing what all you learned in your "stupid" years? I remember how dumb my Dad was when I was younger. It's amazing how much he learned while I have been in college!
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 5:01:48 PM
I have no problem socialising, or making friends, im not shy, i can strike up a conversation with anyone but ive always abstained from doing any of these things and im just wanted to know because most of the people on this site are older than me and have been through much of this and had life pass them...am i missing out?


I don't condone doing drugs, but everything you listed, is not what it's all cracked up to be. If anything do some traveling. i did everything in my teens, when i got to my 20's it was "been there done that". traveling and finding your "purpose" to me is way more important than getting drunk, laid, or high. I wish i could get my "stupid" years back. good luck.
 Eldrida
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 11
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 5:19:14 PM
No, you're not missing out.

Drinking is overrated and excess turns you into a slobbering dumbass. Smoking will kill you, and losing your virginity is fairly disappointing for most people (usually, things improve with practice, but geez, you're not about to die of old age here!)

EDIT: for pity's sake, dude, DON'T start smoking, drugs, drinking or sleeping around so people don't think you're "lame." Screw what they may or may not think. You're too old to ruin your life through peer pressure.

If I could take back ONE thing in my younger years, I would never, ever have started smoking. I wasn't even a teen when I did- I was 23 and should have known better. I was trying to fit in with a boyfriend and his crowd of smokers.

Don't do it, seriously.
 MrLove45
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 12
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 6:46:49 PM
You are right where you are so suppose to be. And like it was shared earlier your not missing out on anything. I had a brother who was like you he didn't smoke cigarettes or any other smokeable items, didn't drink, didn't cuss, never rebelled and was a virgin til he got married well into his twenties. I admired him because he had a plan and stayed focus.
Getting drunk may seem fun when your young but when you look back on it for some you sure do waste alot of valuable time that could have spent doing other things with alot more meaning instead of saying 'We sure had fun'....of course there's always that thing of the happy drinkers and the angry drinkers but that's another story.
But you should be commended for your restraints and not letting your lower nature(especially alcohol or drug induced decisions) dictated behavior that can get you into some situations that you may regret and cant take back .
Your a winner.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 13
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 7:44:48 PM
they are your priorities, stick with them because of you, not because of your friends.

for me, I did booze early, sex early, motorcycles before both, and still havent smoked, but to each his own.
 shoulderlegs
Joined: 4/14/2005
Msg: 14
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:28:11 PM
You're TWENTY-ONE... and you're wondering if you've missed out on LIFE?!?!?!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Dude... I'm happy to tell you that with the exception of still being a virgin... YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!! I don't know you, but I can tell you that I AM PROUD OF YOU!!! There are very few of us who can actually say that we've NEVER done drugs, drank, etc., and actually be telling the truth!
You pat yourself on the back... you're doing GREAT... and keep it up!!!!!
 Spank_Me_Now
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 15
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:36:37 PM
Well, everyone seems to be giving you serious props for not doing those things..

But it seems like you are starting to think that maybe you are missing out on things.. and for the most part, I agree.

I think you need to go out and experiment, and have fun. Do it now while you're young.. it's the time you should be doing these things.

A lot of people have the misconception that if you try things, you will become addicted, etc. Not so. Do it, so when other people talk about it, you can relate. It definitely leads to a better understanding of the world around you.
 UrbanToronto
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 16
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:42:02 PM
I hate drinkers so no that part is good, smoking a dirty filthy habit I have but I do enjoy it but if you don't smoke don't start. Now the sex part, yes you are missing out, really you just got to do it. The rest who cares, sex your losing time, I would make that a priority but just do it with someone who wants to and never ever pay for sex, that is just repulsive. Play safe though. Drugs, so personal I am a major Marijuana advocate but not for everyone, some people just are not meant to ever puff herb or eat hash brownies or whatever good dope is around, so that is something you need to decide. Are you missing out? Well maybe but maybe not. Nothing is for everyone and even some people are asexual, but the sex part is worth a shot, the rest your call.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:42:43 PM
You're 21 and life is passing you by? I don't think so, you are just starting, and there's nothing wrong with having a nice clean slate. Being an idiot and screwing up your youth is not all it's cracked up to be.
 kitchenerkat
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 18
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:50:55 PM
suggest you don't try smoking : )
 Monkeyjim
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:13:28 AM
You have not missed out what so ever! Especially at the age of 21

Drinking = can be fun with friends, but it's over rated.

Drugs = Again, over rated they are not what people say they are.

Abstinence from sex = hey if you don't feel like going to the final base then don't it's all up to you. But it's not a bad thing to miss out on.

Smoking = I've just given up on this, and yes it too is way over rated.
Just be happy that you are yourself and thats all. You aren't as you percieve a looser just think that you are a winner for being alive these years
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 20
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 3:58:45 AM
What are you missing out on?

Lung disease, Liver disease, drunk driving, Venereal disease, unwanted pregnancy + child support.

The truth is that your probably better then the average person your age. Your thinking things through and trying to make sound choices.
 maxoutracer
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 21
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 4:12:22 AM
CONGRATULATION!!!

you made it this far you might well keep it the way it is... you didn't miss out much, sometime i wish to go back in life and become like you :) but i can't... haha... i been drinking and smoking for 12+ years, i wouldn't mind being in your footstep instead... possible liver cancer and lung cancer, you just avoid all these issue... might as well stick with it... its good thing you got positive friends verse peep pressure friends. your just 21 and you still got a long way to go but if you do have the chance, i say live up to it... cause you will never get you 20's ever again... its only once in a lifetime... that's why i took the chance and im still ok i guess... haha...

-panda!
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 22
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Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 4:56:39 AM
I didn't begin sinning until I was past 21.
If you aren't corrupted before 21 , you never will be.
 Divorced, Broke, Bald
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 23
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 6:10:09 AM
Life is definitely passing you by; you're in the POF forums!

Life is passing you by if you do nothing. There is much more to it than drinking and having sex. Your posts, OP, say nothing about what you do with your life.

How did all this come about? Was it a conscious decision based on a considered value system? If so, then no, you are not missing out on life - you are living YOUR life. If it's cuz you're too timid, you might want to look at that. Being a scared observer from the sidelines is equally not a productive nor a satisfying way to go through life.
 granz
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 24
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 6:35:47 AM

You are only missing out if you feel like you are.


This.

If drinking / smoking doesn't appeal to you, then why bother with it? Don't get into something just because of peer-pressure. It may be fun to other people, but that doesn't mean it's necessary to enjoy your life or fit-in.

I'm 25, and I've never smoked, experimented with drugs or drank. I just never saw any appeal to it.

As for sex, when and what you do is up to you. Are you ready to be intimately involved with someone? Then go for it. If it's not a priority in your life at the moment, then don't worry about it.
 whitetigeress
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 25
Never drank, never smoked, still a virgin...am i missing out on life?
Posted: 2/11/2010 7:10:04 AM
Your body, mind and soul is your temple. Yours to decide with, not others. For this reason,it would be unwise to ask others for answers to your own question.

Listen to what JWG86 was saying about the paralyzed child enjoying the wind in his face, laughing. This is pure.

:)
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