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 severnaya
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 1
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How long is "bit of time" to think?Page 1 of 1    
How much time should I give a woman who asks for a "bit of time" to think?
We were friends for months before considering anything more. We've seen each other three times and she said she would like to see me again "soon maybe", only ten days ago she asked for a bit of time to think. I sent her a note on Valentines day which she liked but I haven't heard anything from her since. I contacted her yesterday to say I said that I hoped that a bit of time did not mean forever, but how much time should I give her before trying to forget about her? It's hard because I really miss talking to her...
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 2
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:09:22 PM
Dude, 10 days since you last talked to her = she's not interested. If she ever really was on the fence about you, you'd have known with in 24 hours if the answer was yes. Sounds to me like she was just trying to avoid telling you right up front that she's not interested.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 3
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:09:43 PM
A bit of time for me... 10 seconds.. Has she responded to your note yesterday? if not, dont keep bugging her. I think her telling you she needs a bit of time really means shes not that into you.
 ForumPhantom
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 4
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:11:00 PM
You shouldn't pretend to be a woman's friend - holding her purse, listening to her cry about other guys, playing bestie girlfriend in the faint hope that the scales will miraculously fall from her eyes and she'll suddenly see you as more than a pal.

Playing friend for months or years while holding a torch, then suddenly confessing your love/attraction is like pulling the rug out from someone. She sees you as a friend. You turned the tables. She's having difficulty reconciling this.

Next time, don't wait months before making a move. If you have romantic feelings, let her know earlier on before you're seen as a friend. Don't play friend in the hopes she'll change her mind. It's better for everyone that way.
 glamazon girl
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 5
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:12:57 PM
I've got to agree with rainmain here. If I'm interested, I don't wait 10 days to talk to the guy. Seems like she can't handle the transition from friends to more than friends. Move on, talk & get to know others. You've already initiated another contact with the Valentine's day note so leave it up to her to get in touch with you. Good luck.
 Sefra
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 6
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:45:19 PM
Sorry Severnaya,

She's just not that into you..... No big deal.... you look great..and you seem decent... you'll meet someone whom you enjoy talking to...but more importantly...someone who also enjoys talking to you!

Take care.
 severnaya
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 7
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 4:50:16 PM
When we first became aquainted we were both involved with other people, that's why we started as friends first. She did respond to my valentines day note to say she liked it. She knows I am serious about her, so I don't mind her not wanting to rush into anything. I am just torn between wanting to trust her without which any relatiknship is impossible and cynicism.
 akhkhuru
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 8
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 5:05:37 PM

Don't play friend in the hopes she'll change her mind.

This should be like the quote of the year for dating period.

That being said...
Give her all the time she needs. Move on. Play the field, get other options. She is talking/seeing someone else, and is holding you as a backup, she is very indecisive, or messing with your head.
 ru4mor
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 9
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 5:51:30 PM
(I wrote the same thing to Origami frog in a similar post)

It took me my entire life to come to grips with the fact that the ones who are truly interested will not give vague, tentative or conditional responses when you ask them to spend some time with you. I may be wrong but I don't think "winning her over/selling her on you" is the way to go. My best experiences have been with the women who showed a mutual level of interest, attraction and respect from the very start (but that could be just me).

Everyone is right in telling you that when a woman says she needs to think...the only thing shes thinking about is the best way to let you down-in this case she decided to let the situation rott on the vine.

If theres on thing POF has taught me it's to say NEXT! when encountering women who dont show the same (or a close enough) level of interest. Those are uphill battles that aren't worth fighting. I recently had an attractive woman make first contact to suddenly cutting off communication seemingly w/o warning. I'm not gonna waste time wondering why-I'm gonna accept that we werent meant to be and move on without a care...next! Be good and good luck!
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 10
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 6:16:45 PM
Sorry, but I don't think she's that interested. Sometimes people want a bit of time to think and really, deep down, they feel it's not working but it hasn't really become a conscious thing yet. The next thing they do (or don't) is they don't get round to contacting the person because something doesn't feel quite right, so they put it off. Eventually, if they are very polite, they will let you know the decision that they've become aware of, but sometimes they will just let a person drift away, thinking time has passed anyway. When in doubt or confused, it's easier not to do anything and just wait and see if things become clearer. No contact for more than a couple of days usually means lack of interest though.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 11
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 6:37:37 PM
Wow! Men really are quite delusional when it comes to women! lol

When a woman is crazy about a guy, she is on auto-pilot and you can't keep her away. When she has to "THINK" or any of a number of other "excuses" it's either OVER or there was never anything there.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 12
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:10:51 PM
I think she's giving you the brush off, trying to be nice about it and hoping you'll kind of fade away. I suggest that you leave her alone and go about your own business, meet other people. Good luck!
 ElenaSemprini
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 13
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 8:23:01 PM
I'm afraid I have to agree with the others. If she cared for you (was "into" you), she'd want to see you more often than once a month, and she would have called you.

You shouldn't pretend to be a woman's friend - holding her purse, listening to her cry about other guys, playing bestie girlfriend in the faint hope that the scales will miraculously fall from her eyes and she'll suddenly see you as more than a pal.
I couldn't agree with this more. So many men keep making this mistake.

This bird has flown. Time to look for another one that will like you back.
 mekong delta
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 14
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 8:48:22 PM

How much time should I give a woman who asks for a "bit of time" to think?

give her no limit. always date with more than 2 girls at the same time and have fun in discovering them.

How much time should I give a woman who asks for a "bit of time" to think?
We were friends for months before considering anything more. We've seen each other three times and she said she would like to see me again "soon maybe", only ten days ago she asked for a bit of time to think. I sent her a note on Valentines day which she liked but I haven't heard anything from her since. I contacted her yesterday to say I said that I hoped that a bit of time did not mean forever, but how much time should I give her before trying to forget about her? It's hard because I really miss talking to her...
 PunkJesster
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 15
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 9:04:09 PM
When someone asks for a bit of time to think, you let them take the reins until they are comfortable enough to approach you with an answer - if it takes more than a "reasonable" amount of time (2 weeks is usually my cap), then I would recommend moving on. Sorry about your luck :(
 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 16
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/22/2010 10:46:08 PM
She is hoping in time, you will get a clue, but I do not think you will.

Move on to the next one.
 account deleted
Joined: 1/28/2010
Msg: 17
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How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:04:49 AM
i googled a bit and got:
a bit that goes along a network cable of say 1GB. the Gigabit speed is about 400MHZ,

f=1/t

so, t=1/f

therefore, t=1/400 x10^6

t=0.0025 x 10^-6

now, s=vt

electrons travel at almost the speed of light i.e. 299 792 458 m/s

thus, s= 0.0025 x 10^-6 x 299 792 458 = 0.75 metre.

please note 400MHZ could, due to cycles provide 2 bits not 1, so length of 1 bit will be

more like 0.3 metre.

i might be wrong with numbers but think idea is correct.

so... in other words like half a second she should have made her decision I am guessing that is just sh!tty man that she would taken almost ten days for what should have taken a bit...
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 18
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:35:43 PM
If she were genuinely just unsure whether or not she wanted to get involved right now, or whatever she needed to think over, a few days would've done it.

I'm sorry, I have to go with the consensus here. She might yet surprise us all, but most likely, she's just having a hard time coming out and saying she's not into you romantically after all.

Since the only reason you began as friends was that you were both with other people, I don't think you'll be able to be friends, either, because you never really were. You were just waiting. But I could be wrong about that. Maybe after a good solid break, however long it takes to stop thinking of her romantically, you might wind up being great friends. Do take that break before making the attempt, though. Otherwise you'll just keep pining.
 blamebetty
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 19
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:42:40 PM
Give her forever, she isn't interested. If she ever does become interested, she will let you know. Move on, you're an attractive guy.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 20
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/23/2010 3:24:59 PM
If I were interested in a man, Id let him know, by calling him, emailing him, or at the very least responding to his notes. Her actions-lack of- are telling you the story.
 lilya77
Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 21
How long is bit of time to think?
Posted: 2/23/2010 5:08:32 PM
Not interested...you're wasting your time. Sorry hun...
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