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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why so many older men here that want kids?      Home login  
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 JerseyJules1
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 1
Why so many older men here that want kids?Page 1 of 1    
I am talking late 40's or even 50's.......most that i see have never had children and never married.........is it because they want to meet very young women (girls)? Or are they just playing games?? Like saying that to attract younger girls but really don't want kids.
 bwana217
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 2
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:21:40 PM
It's probably because we want children.

It isn't to meet very young women. It's very easy to meet very young women who do not want kids.

You have to understand (though you may choose not to) that my age cohort, roughly 45 to 55, matured in the late 1970s and early 1980s, the worst time for heterosexuality in recent memory. A lot of men of that cohort got left behind.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 3
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:23:53 PM
Yeah...I read your question...way wrong...now I have to edit and post something.

I would not want to father a child during the age group you are talking about. My youngest will be eighteen soon. I will (hopefully) see them through college....marriage...and hopefully live long enough to spoil their children rotten.

I hope to ride a coaster with my grandchildren. If I have another child after 50...they will most likely have to wheel me into his/her wedding.



 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 4
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:30:24 PM
That's presumptive, stereotyping, and prejudicial IMO.
Any individual at any legal age has the right to live their life as they choose to live it.
It's also an assumption that a man or woman 40+ has to choose a young partner to have children with.
I'm in my late 40s and I would consider having more children, and I have no preconceived ideas as to if I will be in a LTR , and If so, what his age may be.
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 5
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:32:49 PM
I haven't experienced this one before most of them I have chatted with out here for the last 3 years have children they are raising, sharing custody or raised and out of the home. I think I have only ran across 2 that were my age never married, no children. Neither of them were looking for the young thing.

I think that is a bum rap most men get that if they reach a certian age they want the ver young most that I have met enjoy the company of a woman that theycan relate to .


As for playing games I don't there are anymore men out here playings than there are women.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 6
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:33:30 PM
A life of poverty. Did not want that burden on a child. Making money now, but now I am old, cannot get the woman or the child. I am not looking for young women, but I wouldn't turn down any either.
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:37:30 PM
This is usually where somebody quotes that "old man sperm" is defective as argument against older guys mating with younger gals....Anyway, OP, why does it matter to you? You are 39 so the real answer is if you want to have more kids or not....
 KeyofLife05
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 8
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 8:03:31 PM
I'm 39. I was married in my late 20's, now divorced. Was single a lot of my 30s.

Now, most of the women my age have had their kids, and feel that they "are done". And that's cool; that's their totally legit. choice.

I didn't want kids when I was 25, but at around 35, I started to be more open to that possibility. Now that I am still single at age 39, I would (for lack of a better phrase) "be more open to meeting" a women who was still interested in having a kid, than one who wasn't. Call me a late bloomer. But my last g/f was older than me, and was going through menopause, so that sure wasn't an option. Now that I am single again, heck yeah, I'm going to "look more favorably" upon someone who is a little younger.

Sure, women can have babies at age 50, but that doesn't make it a good idea, necessarily.

Hope I don't catch hell for this; it's just one guy's honest reflections on this very situation.

Best,
Ed
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 8:48:28 PM
If I understand what you've written, you are saying that there are "many" men on POF between the ages of 40 and 60, who state in their profiles that they want to find a woman with whom to have children? Really? They say that in their profiles? Okay, then ASK THOSE GUYS.
Any chance you are completely misunderstanding the guys you are talking about, and that they are indicating that they are open to beginning a new relationship with a woman who still has young children?
 freefromtoday
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 10
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 9:14:23 PM
I don't check out many guy profiles, but really? Most the guys in that age range never had kids? I find that hard to believe. I have kids and am not looking to have more. If the woman I marry wants kids I would consider it for her. And why say something to attract younger women, why lie at all? How can that be good for any relationship? That's as bad as putting 10 year old photographs on your profile. But that's a whole other discussion!
 originalNw
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 11
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/24/2010 9:14:29 PM
Maybe a little of Both! At what age do you think it's "wrong "for a man to be dating/seeing/living together? The child issuse is between them. And many of them here on PoF site,as as others dating sites ,do want children. Myself -can't say for sure. But if they can handle all the funding it costs to raise a children,all the "go for it"!


 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 12
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 6:37:09 AM
Funny. Whenever I come across men's profiles that are in their 40's, and 50's, the options are either "Undecided/Open or "Does Not Want Children."

Even so, they have every right to want to conceive and it doesn't even have to be with a much younger woman.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 13
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 6:48:06 AM
Agreed^^^
Kinda pisses me off that there are so many threads creating false stereotypes that men in their 40s or 50s only want young women / girls.
WTF?

I had my first child at 42, because I married later in life and wanted children.
I had my second when I was 45.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 14
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 7:42:59 AM

most that i see have never had children and never married


I may have read your OP right the first time.

Are you assuming that if they list single...they were never married?

Big debate on another thread.

Anyone who is not married is technically "single" in legal terms. There is no option for "never married" on POF's drop down menu. Despite what some/many/most might believe the intent of the term "single"...it is not exclusively used that way.

Much like the children question. There is no option for "yes...but not living with me or not living at home". There is one for "all over 18 years old.

The problem is guessing which is the best fit for me and how does it best represent my current situation.

So...if you were to investigate...you might find that they are divorced and the kids live with mom or maybe a widower.
 impohell
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 15
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 7:56:32 AM
I want kids, but only by accident. I won't intentionally get a woman pregnant but I would like nothing better than to get surprised with the good news. Part of not being intentional is not having sex with women who are fertile, and since you can't be too sure these days, that means all of them. Blame the 66 year old grandma who had a kid a while back. So, what I have to do now in order to finally have a kid is be tricked into sex by a fertile woman at the right time in her cycle. I'm not holding my breath. I keep busy. If it happens, great, but if not, I sort of expected destiny to cheat me this way, as part if the greater galactic conspiracy to thwart my DNA's mission to change the course of human history one illegitimate baby at a time.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 16
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Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 8:49:09 AM
It's a tough position. In my case I wanted children before but never ended up getting married. Recently a friend went the operation route so that he would no longer have them. I'm not sure that is the right thing for me.

At the end of the day, you are not really looking for them but not discounting the possibility, no matter how slim, either, IMO.

I'm guessing these guys are open to not having them as well, IMO.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 17
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 10:46:27 AM
I'm going to take a SWAG at it and suggest...Maybe these 40-50 y.o., single, never-had-kids guys weren't the best dating material when they were younger...and now that they've grown up a bit, maybe they're more date-worthy...and then on the other hand, maybe not.

What is true is that each one is unique. Each will have his own story. Some will claim being wronged, some may acknowledge who they were, but in almost all cases, it wasn't their fault.

Be wary. There's a reason people get to middle-age and still haven't learned what it takes to be in a productive, committed relationship. That's what you really need to get to the heart of. Unless you're feeling like a breeding incubator for these boys, take the time to perceive and understand who they are, their value proposition to the world, their family and to you.

Bottom line...guys that want to be fathers usually have no trouble finding the girl to start on that dream...it the ones who don't that need a couple of extra sanity checks done.

 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 18
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:22:06 AM
age is only a number...look at those celebrities...warren beatty ...jack nicholson...they have had their children at old age...and michael douglas has had children when he was young and now older
it is the attitude...some 80 year olds are very young and some 40 year olds are in terrible shape
attitude and how you take care
 dannomite82
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 19
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 11:57:14 AM
I may not be that old, but I can give insight.

Children are our legacy. It's a genetic longing to have a heir to pass down our knowledge and wisdom to.

A lot of people don't settle down, or don't find true love until later in life. Some may have wanted children earlier in life but were in a relationship with someone dead set against them.
 EmotionallyDetached
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 20
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:35:30 PM
I made someone who put that down in his profile and in reality, he didn't want kids. What he did say was that if it was going to happen, then it would happen. It wasn't something that he would be aiming for with anybody but that he wouldn't run from the responsibility. He also said that it looked better than putting down "Does not want children". No matter how you look at it, it does not make chances better with anyone.
 disco2485
Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 21
Why so many older men here that want kids?
Posted: 2/25/2010 1:12:39 PM
I am 42 and want to have kids. I have never been married and no children. I always wanted them when I was 35 but 2 relationships have failed on me SO here I am. The younger girls with no kids DON"T know what they want and the girls my age have already had kids and don't want any!!!!!! It just really frustrates me........ a girl at 28-37 would be great for me.... that doesn't have any kids but wants one.....

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