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 * Eva *
Joined: 2/11/2010
Msg: 1
How long without sex before lowering your standards?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
As I was reading another thread that asked guys if they could keep an erection with a woman they weren't all that attracted to, I started wondering about this.

Whereas is not every man, of course, I understand that the big majority of men aren't nearly as picky and selective when choosing a sexual partner. And I know that this stance increases when it has been a while since a man "got some".

So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?
 iburns75
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 2
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:16:55 PM
Never. Now question for you..If a guy is truly in love with you how long should he wait till he can be with you? There is no real answer because it depends on how the person feels.
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:20:47 PM
I second what Iburn said. I'd never lower my standard and change who I was or who I am attracted to even if it means I don't find someone for years, atleast I made friends.
 Rebluez
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 4
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:31:49 PM
Some will never betray their standards, and some will always be at the mercy of beer goggles at 2 in the morning, with every variation in between.

Bluez
 candid_1
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 5
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:34:35 PM
Most men I know would rather take matters into their own hand than lower their standards, but there are some that will shag anything with a kitty just to scratch an itch - quick fix. One gent I know went four years because no one caught his eye. I know another who is at the two year mark. In general, if they do lower their standards just to get a one off, their taste and sanity soon return... strangely sometimes by morning.
 LtrsNmbrs
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 6
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:35:54 PM
I am sure you have heard men who are faithful compare their partner to a piece of meat (Why go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home). So to answer your question I think it all depends on how hungry we are (higher sex drive = higher appetite). If you have ever gone several days without food you will find that as the days go by the food that you wouldnt have touched before, you are willing to put on a piece of bread mixed with some tobasco sauce. And depending how it is you may need to use the whole bottle of tobasco, but your question is not easy to answer because you are forgetting something. For some men being able to masturbate will keep them in line so they are mildly satisfied and don't have to go out for hamburgers. Some examples of these men are the ones who have been deployed leaving their partners at home. Another example are prisoners. Not every heterosexual prisoner has been fiending so bad that they have thought of getting some, even if that some was another man.
 Rob_SA
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 7
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:42:54 PM
And you expect an honest answer?

Option 1:
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Most honest answer: "About now"

Option 2:
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Most likely answer: "I would never lower my standards. I would only ever have sex with someone who was my true soulmate, and I'd wait as long as it took for us both to reach the stage where we were comfortable giving each other such a precious gift."

Of course anyone who takes option one risks anyone they make contact with thinking they're only sending a message 'cos they've reached that stage of desperation.
 Turkish Snowcone
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 8
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:43:27 PM

Most men I know would rather take matters into their own hand than lower their standards, but there are some that will shag anything with a kitty just to scratch an itch - quick fix. One gent I know went four years because no one caught his eye. I know another who is at the two year mark. In general, if they do lower their standards just to get a one off, their taste and sanity soon return... strangely sometimes by withdrawal.
FYP
 * Eva *
Joined: 2/11/2010
Msg: 9
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:46:38 PM
There have been several instances when I've heard some men joke about the "one month mark", after which they would approach women that they wouldn't normally do.

Of course I'd like to think that is not the case, though I seldom think that is the case for the majority. I think selective men who will completely forgo sex until they have a partner to whom they are really attracted to, are in the minority.

There's a song (or ten) that joke about this: a man in a club, hasn't had none in a while, goes for a beer and doesn't see anyone that catches his attention, but as the night goes on and more beers are consumed, his train of though starts to change...(then again, that would be the topic of alcohol more than dry spell).

To ROB SA, I am hoping that, since this are adult threads, men could give an opinion on the subject with enough tact to not put themselves on the line, since everything isn't just about personal present experiences. Everything could be detoured and explained with humor and smarts...but you are right, such traits not always prevail.
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 10
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:50:33 PM
Normal answer gonna be never. Real answer how drunk do I have to get. My answer will let you know if I ever get that desperate been 44 years so far and honestly I would never go to bed with someone I would not be willing to wake up in the morning with. Thats just my opinion others may vary.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 11
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:51:06 PM
oh I agree........alcohol would be more of the deciding factor than the length of time without getting any!!
 Turkish Snowcone
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 12
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:59:50 PM
Is there anyone who would never drop their stds who has never had bad sex?

Ruling factor imo
 CbusLeo
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 13
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:00:40 PM
Men are given strong sex drives by nature...it's our individual willpower that determines the rest. I've gone several months without sex but I have to be honest here I eventually gave in to my desires.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 14
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:16:33 PM
As I was reading another thread that asked guys if they could keep an erection with a woman they weren't all that attracted to, I started wondering about this.

Whereas is not every man, of course, I understand that the big majority of men aren't nearly as picky and selective when choosing a sexual partner. And I know that this stance increases when it has been a while since a man "got some".

So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?


well- i have never kissed a woman that i did not or could not get an erection for.

if i'm on a run where i wanna just nail as many as possible as fast as i can, then i will "lower" my standards for a brief period of time. guess what, it just doesn't work for me.

i get tired of it- its boring and i just cannot bring myself to do it after a few girls consecutively that are not up to my normal standards.

once that happens, i'll gladly retreat into being celibate a bit longer and not have to "get it" every week if it isn't someone that i'm actually really attracted to.

and oh, btw- it didn't get relieved, i just got tired of lowering my standards just to "get some"

in fact it gets me more frustrated because i am not bedding women that i normally would bed just to "hit it" every week.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 15
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:52:38 PM

So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?

OP -- Never.

I went over 2 years without ANY and despite offers...I was content to handle matters myself. I have standards, and it doesn't matter how long I go without...those standards will still apply. They're just simply non negotiable. I'd rather go without than make the mistake of lowering my bar just to get a quick itch scratching.

But as some have alluded to already - YMMV. There is no one-size-fits-all uniform standard that applies to one and all. It's entirely based on the individual and how much self control they do or do not possess.

And please...women lower their bars to get their itches scratched just as often as men do.

Just sayin'............
 TheRoad78
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 16
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:54:19 PM
Uh, Whenever I get an urge that I can't satisfy in another way is when I lower my standards. THAT usually occurs after about a year or so.
So I'm coming due once again, and everyday, that standard drops by another 1/2 notch....
 akhkhuru
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 17
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:54:50 PM
It is up to the individual. I personally won't do anything with a woman I don't find aesthetically pleasing. No ammount of personality will make my body respond if I'm not attracted. I think as far as "standards" it is the personality standard that is given slack. I.E. I can see myself having fun with someone I wouldn't normally based on personality and how well we get along, but not with someone I don't find attractive. Porn is out there, taking matters "into your own hands" is just the same as having sex without any real emotional attachment.
 *.*.*GET-to-KNOW-me!*.*.*
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 18
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:07:31 PM
Speaking for myself, no, my standards have never changed or flucuated, in a 'no action zone'.


-kade


 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 19
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:10:13 PM
Yeah, there might be a fuzziness to the standards... ie I might shave a few percent off the margin of error.... the longer I went without, especially if there's booze involved...

But there is a bottom line that one cannot go beyond... At a certain point I'd rather get drunk than be bothered...

The other side of this is I have never had to go that long without... so I can't really honestly say how I might be after months or even a year without sex.... I might be going crazy or I might just lose interest until something came along...
 zergzlol
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 20
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:11:06 PM
I don't and never will lower my standards for anything. My standards are basically requirements (and not too picky or demanding, imo), anything more is just gravy on my mashed potatoes.
 green023
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 21
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:27:08 PM
The time length can certainly vary. But there are some men who will lower their standards for sex. One of my male friends didn't have sex for a year. Then he had sex with a woman that he admitted that he wasn't physically attracted.
 944man
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:35:56 PM
Everyone has different standards. What the definition for that "standard" is a determining factor. Not sure what some of these other guys mean by lowering their standards. does it mean nothing below a 7 in looks? Not fat? big ta tas only? I find it's not that hard to find a gf you are attracted to, at least somewhat, therefore i don't see any need to go month after month or years without sex.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 23
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:40:32 PM

And I know that this stance increases when it has been a while since a man "got some".


From my observations.....this works both ways and is not a gender related subject....both genders are subject to this happening...but, it doesn't mean everyone compromises themselves...

As for keeping an erection, if she was capable of causing him to have an erection, then likely it will stay up....


my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied?


???mildly satified.....in what masterbation..?.....op this isn't making much sense.
 le_petomane
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:53:11 PM

how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour?

It's never really a conscious decision. It just happens.
Suppressing one area tends to force pressure into other areas and next thing I know I am romanticizing my past, or coming up with reasons why I shouldn't be so shallow in choosing whom to email or approach.
My mind, brain, id, superego, all that jazz interacts without my ego, immediate personality, or whatever doing more than reacting to it. Usually I catch it and realize what I am doing.
It takes a hell of a lot of time and energy to try and maintain a constant state of awareness of yourself. It's like the guy that tries to incorporate god into every single thought he has. Most of what goes on up there is not payed conscious attention to.

Sometimes I don't catch it.
Then I get into 8 hour phone fests with the lady with 8 kids in the next state over because she was the most recent to return my email. And within the first 3 hours I start talking about how "it would feel like heaven, to be holding you in my arms" or some stupid crap.
Or I hang out with female "friends" more often, with each conversation with a little innuendo barb in it to dare them to go further, or to see if they would. To communicate my status to test how they would respond.
Or accept the drink the fat chick with backne, a tail, and a handlebar mustache at the bar sent over and go over to thank her, because I don't mind being someones "friend" (wink wink), I'm just saying thanks.

Of course that was in the past. I've learned to stop doing that.
Now I just email hookers on craigslist, and race to masturbate before they write back otherwise I threaten myself that I have to go see and pay them. I always win, keep my money, plus a little extra tinge of fear wondering if their pimp is going to trace my email back to me and rob my house.


Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?

There's always a reversion back to normal after validation, gratification, release, and/or relief.

That's why people look for relationships. To avoid the pressures and fear caused from not having them.
 plyter
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 25
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:52:15 PM
I've tried it , but I really cant enjoy myself sexually with a woman I'm not attracted to.
So I avoid getting into those types of relationships. I know the little head sometimes controls the big head , but at some point you just ask yourself, what the hell am i doing
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