| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/14/2005 9:54:46 PM | I personally don 't see a problem with this, and i am presently pretty interested in a guy I met on here with no children, thing is my friends say that it is not a good idea and rarely works if you as a single parent date a person who has no kids.
just looking for feedback.. i for one am going to pursue this wholeheartedly
thanks in advance for your comments. | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/14/2005 11:05:31 PM | Sweetone, in 10 years of dating, I've only dated two men that HAD children. In both cases, it turned out to be a 'not very good' idea. Before that, I had dated only men without children, and now again, I prefer to date men that have no kids. It's not because I don't like kids...I love em!!! (I have one of my own)....BUT trying to mesh two families together is pretty tricky business. Different parenting styles and skills, trying to find time to 'date' the other person is sometimes a bit of an ordeal. (trying to find 2 sitters instead of one!) And reality has proven to me that both parents tend to see their children as 'first' in their eyes....and trying to make a combo out of that can be tres difficult!
Also, in my own experience, I found that with both fathers, they weren't into the idea of ever having more.......and I believe I'd like to keep my options open on that for the time being....
Now with all of THAT rambling, if you think you may be able to connect with someone else's children, I say "why not?" AT the same time, your friends have absolutely no stats to back up their comments.......
Date who you like, men with children,men without children, the decision is all yours.... | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/14/2005 11:24:46 PM | | I agree that blending a family can be difficult...but we're talking dating, not marriage or living with one another. I guess it depends on what you want and what you feel you can work on as an individual. It could very well be that your potential partner is not interested in blending a family and is more interested in having someone in his/her llife that they can share with. If we're both feeling that initial attraction, I'm going for it if she's willing to have me. I recognize the potential problems of blending a family, and different parenting ideas and it is something that will have to be looked at down the road if we choose that route, so its important to at least recognize that from the beginning. To me, each and every day has its challenges, and I will face those challenges as they come up. | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/15/2005 10:08:23 AM | | thansk canadian hottie and victor for your posts.. i am a single mom with three kids, and i believe it would be easier to adapt a single man into my life than it would be to have to try and figure out how to fit my life with kids and another mans life with his kids into one picture.. i agree. thanks again | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/15/2005 10:19:21 AM | Hi sweetone...
Something we didn't touch upon was the age of the children. It is difficult to blend a family and if you have three children it becomes a real challenge, especially if they're very young. But...if your kids are almost grown up or just a few years away from leaving home, it makes the decision a little easier. That way, if you determine that blending the family isn't going to work you don't have to lose the love of your life. A lot of this will be determined by what you want in your life and what kind of commitment you're looking for.
Having said all this...personally...I'm a romantic. I believe I will fall in love when I fall in love and that I'm not going to have much choice over the matter. | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/15/2005 9:31:13 PM | I have 2 kids, 4 and 8. I have been seeing the same guy for almost a year now. He's the only one I have dated since my seperation.
In his opinion, he was 30 yrs old, what are the chances of finding someone his age that was still single and without kids? So for the first 2 months or so of our dating, he didn't meet my kids. (Well, he met my daughter before, but about 4 yrs prior.)
So by that time, we had time to get to know each other without the kids worrying about Mommy being with someone other than Daddy.
I can't imagine him having kids too. Like someone said before me. I can't imagine having to bring new kids into it and get to know them as well as fall in love with him...kwim?? | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/16/2005 8:38:28 AM | I don't worry about the idea of meshing families and different parenting styles too much...a single person may also have a different parenting style and certainly has wayyyy less experience in dealing with children day-to-day -- so, I prefer dating women with children!
I've also found that people with kids have a better understanding when you need to change plans on short notice because due to kid-issues and tend to be more tolerant in a dating situation.
As for the kdis getting along with someone, well my kids are an extension of my values, lifestyle, attitude and I think that if I find the person with the qualities I'm looking for, she'll fit in very nicely with my kids (and that HAS been the case with the 2 women my children have met) :-)
However, I will definitely agree that finding time to date someone with kids is a challenge...I can't tell you how many times I've met someone who seems wonderful only to find we have our kids on separate weekends...makes is nearly impossible to find time to actually get to know the person! | |
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| Should a single parent date someone without kids?
Posted: 7/16/2005 9:37:06 PM | | There are many good views on this page, and I don't disagree with anything that's been said. But, situations have changed these days and lifestyles should be adaptable to those changes. If we're going to be happy we must go with what feels right regardless if it seems to be inconvenient. If you've found the person you're looking for and they've found you, details can be worked out later. That's my take on things. | |
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