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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?      Home login  
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 Poetic Ashley19
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 1
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
On the dating scene, I have come across a few guys that just wanted a sex buddy. That is not in my interest. Right off the back, if a guy refers to sex on the first date or even the second one, that's a major turn off for me. I have blown off quite a few guys for that reason. They just think of women as being disposable. And what ever happened to respecting a woman? I guess that went out the door with chivalry.
But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends? Peace........
 FourmProfile
Joined: 2/18/2010
Msg: 2
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:03:43 PM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?

I'm at a point in life where I have a bit of a different view... but when I was younger, my view was very simple...

If not for sex, what the hell does a man need a woman for anyway?

Given your age, you are simply running into younger versions of me.
 Zhang Lu Bo
Joined: 3/6/2010
Msg: 3
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:20:27 PM
It's not that they think of women as disposable (hopefully not!), it's simply disposable sex with a woman. And yet, obviously it can and does leave the woman feeling "disposed of".

I can't really be thorough with an answer, being how I don't live my life like that type of "some men".
But here's a shot:

Because that's just the way some men are, but not all.

Because men go through stages of wanting any and everything from ten minutes to a 50 year marriage.

Because it's sex without stress.

You'll get a lot of pricks if you wander through the thorn bushes.
So stick to higher ground.
 onefishwilldo
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 4
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:22:27 PM
Because of of the men on here are married but wanting a piece of azz on the side. The site is free so their spouse won't know because they didn't have to use their credit card to pay for membership.
 georgie34
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 5
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:26:11 PM
I find that Long Term on here (POF)-often means-long term sex buddy as in more than once.
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 6
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:27:44 PM
also when some men say "friends first" that means thy want to take you for a sexual test drive first.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 7
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:33:25 PM
i agree with the person above me i found that out when i was younger. when i would tell guys friends 1st it didnt mean lets ****. i told guys i didnt know that friends mean **** buddies these days..
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 8
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:38:46 PM
I must be doing something wrong...

Every one that I engage in a sex buddy relationship with eventually wants me as a girlfriend.

I find it a major turn off if someone can't discuss sexuality openly and honestly from the get go. I'm really not interested in someone who isn't adult enough to communicate their wants and needs.

You keep blowing off guys that are interested in sex. Eventually you will find a eunuch.
 georgie34
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 9
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:53:31 PM
Its the age old thing though isn't it?If you have sex on the first date or too soon do they want you for just sex or are they interested in you too?
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 10
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 5:05:49 PM

I have come across a few guys
Right off the back
I have blown off quite a few guys

Maybe if your own language wasn't so suggestive, this wouldn't be a problem.
 Zhang Lu Bo
Joined: 3/6/2010
Msg: 11
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 5:16:36 PM
OMG Alooo. Too funny!
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 12
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 5:30:06 PM
Some men and some women only want a sex buddy. Some want to date only and nothing more, some want a LTR. At any given time, there will always be people in all these different stages of life. Dating is how we filter through them to find someone who matches us. It's time consuming. If you concentrate on the goal too much, you might miss the fun (guilty of that myself from time to time). That's just life though....

Are kids wanting relationships early these days or am I odd?. It never occurred to me to want a relationship at 21.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 13
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:03:50 PM
With all due respect, you have "hang out" as your objective on this website, that term has mixed meanings to different people. Also, you have a photo of your butt entitled "baby phat". It may be totally innocent but, again, different men might get the idea that you're "open", no pun intended, to sex fairly soon after they meet you.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 14
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:17:29 PM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?


It could be possible that these men you "speak" of, OP, are strictly seeking FWB relationships and aren't interested in pursuing women romantically. Oh well. It's their thing and their life.

It could also be that you're possibly throwing off bad vibes. Get a better picker.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 15
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:33:32 PM
It can best be summed up with the old saying . . .

Why Buy the Cow, When you can get the milk for free?

And as far as respect goes. I think most people, men and women arn't worthy of respect, if you want my honest opinion! And as far as that goes, like often attracts like!

 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 16
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:38:43 PM
Could it simply be that we're all different people , in varying stages of our lives , with different desires and priorities ?

Doesn't make anyone wrong or right , bad or good - just ... well ... different .

There will ALWAYS be some people who don't respect others - avoid them ( notice I'm not being gender specific ).

Why not just stick to the men who are seeking the same level of relating as you are ?

There are plenty of men out there who respect women , and are looking to have one - and only one .


 Maesbaby763
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 17
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 7:19:35 PM
Because it's " fun" and they get all the fun with none of the responsibilities of a real relationship.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Ok, why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free?

They want their total freedom to do whoever and whatever they want, no strings attatched, no pressure and no questions asked.
To each their own, no judgement from me but they should at least be upfront about it that way you have the option of agreeing to it or saying thanks but no thanks.
A lot less hurt, anger and drama. Very simple really so why do some people have to make things so darn complicated?

IMO some won't tell you they only want that because they might be afraid if they did tell you that you wouldn't be interested, they will have no chance so the sneaky slimeballs that some are will lead you on and make you think they care and you mean a lot to them. The ones of us that are trusting and naive fall for the bs hook line and sinker and then they bail and we are called dumb beause we didn't know any better and trusted them and believed them.

Once you see enough of it you'll learn to spot it much quicker and kick them to the curb.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 18
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 7:30:45 PM
^^^^^That's too funny!

If I was out for sex, I would change my profile to read

"FREE SAUSAGE"
"THIS PIG AINT FOR SALE! "

In fact, for a moment, I considered it anyway! lol
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 19
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 7:36:35 PM
Why? Because there are so many women willing to go for that kind of thing. If you won't, it's no big loss...because there's someone else who will. Guys who want that kind of thing don't really care if it's you or the next one.
 Shoedaddy
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 20
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:21:55 PM
It is partly women's 'fault' that men go through women as if to make them feel 'disposable'. Men want sex (in and of itself outside of commitment with a woman)- and just like the OP here said herself, many women aren't cool with this idea upfront. So guys then have two choices:
1) Give up the idea of sex for it's own sake
2) Do whatever needs be done to get sex, even if it's not in accord with women's wishes (the most common methods of accomplishing this are to approach women under the guise of there being potential for greater commitment beyond sex, and/or having so much value that the man negotiates with the woman an agreement that she provide sex for some other value other than a relationship)


OP asks 'why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?'... and my answer is 'what does sex have to do with a girlfriend? To me sex and relationships have little more in common than pick-up basketball and friendship. I don't need to be best friends with a guy to play ball with him because the two activities are distinct and autonomous; and so are sex and relationships.
 Shoedaddy
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 21
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:24:25 PM
*Just to add OP: you (and also plenty of other women) have said that you've encountered guys who are looking for a FWB or a sex buddy, and that is not your interest. That if right off the bat a guy talks about sex it's a major turn off. --- WELL, many men feel the same way about women they encounter who want to jump into dating and relationships. Many men are not interested in them (or at lleast not with this particular woman), and find the mention of a relationship early by a woman as a major turn off as well.
 seaqueen3
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 22
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:29:27 PM
That is a surprisingly good line and one I will take to heart and remember coming form a man: You'll get a ot of pricks if you wander through thorn bushes.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 23
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 9:14:25 PM
There is a thread here called "I found my soulmate on a sex site" or something like that. Basically, the important message is that there is no reason to lie on a site like AFF about what you want. That being said, why aren't more of the men on POF getting their needs met on a site that is wide open about sex? Of course POF being free is a draw, but it would make things easier to get sex if that's all they want. These same men who don't want to develop a relationship with a woman can be open about what they want. Maybe that would weed out those men from those who do want to develop a relationship over time and are not just saying what needs to be said to get the p***y.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 24
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 9:23:25 PM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends? Peace


your asking why would a guy want sex with no commitment?....do you really need an answer?


And what ever happened to respecting a woman? I guess that went out the door with chivalry.


oh stop it...geez...are you done with your "respect me" speech?

Are you really telling us that a man has no respect for a women unless they are in a relationship having sex?

you really cant be that ignorant...
 uniquesoul1011
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 25
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/9/2010 9:31:41 PM
You are entitled to want what you want and so are they.
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