Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 xxxDINOxxx
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 1
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lesbian_prom_date

Right move by the school (board), in your opinion, or not ?

JACKSON, Miss. – An 18-year-old Mississippi lesbian student whose school district canceled her senior prom rather than allow her to escort her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo said she got some unfriendly looks from classmates when she reluctantly returned to campus Thursday.

Constance McMillen said she didn't want to go back the day after the Itawamba County school board's decision, but her father told her she needed to face her classmates, teachers and school officials.

"My daddy told me that I needed to show them that I'm still proud of who I am," McMillen told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. "The fact that this will help people later on, that's what's helping me to go on."

The district announced Wednesday it wouldn't host the April 2 prom. The decision came after the American Civil Liberties Union told officials a policy banning same-sex prom dates violated students' rights. The ACLU said the district not letting McMillen wear a tuxedo violated her free expression rights.

McMillen said she felt some hostility toward her on the Itawamba County Agricultural High School campus.

"Somebody said, 'Thanks for ruining my senior year.'" McMillen said.

The school board issued a statement announcing it wouldn't host the event in Fulton, "due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events."

The statement didn't mention McMillen or the ACLU. When asked by the AP if McMillen's demand led to the cancellation, school board attorney Michele Floyd said she could only reference the statement.

"I guess they would rather do that than what's right, what's constitutionally correct," McMillen said.

Same-sex prom dates and cross-dressing are new issues for many high schools around the country, said Daryl Presgraves, a spokesman for GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, a Washington-based advocacy group.

"A lot of schools actually react rather than do the research and find out what the rights of these students are," said Presgraves, who was preparing to facilitate a discussion about anti-gay bullying at a National Association of Secondary School Principals meeting.

The school district had said it hoped a privately sponsored prom could be held. McMillen said if that happens, she's sure she'll be excluded.

"It's a small town in Mississippi, and it's run by an older generation with money. Most of them are more conservative and they don't agree with it," she said.

Fulton Mayor Paul Walker said he supports the school district's decision and knew of no private efforts to host the prom.

"I think the community as a whole is probably in support of the school district," Walker said of the town of about 4,000.

Itawamba County is a rural area of about 23,000 people in north Mississippi near the Alabama state line. It's near Pontotoc County, Miss., where more than a decade ago school officials were sued in federal court over their practice of student-led intercom prayer and Bible classes.

A couple of students had different reactions to the decision.

Anna Watson, a 17-year-old junior at the high school, was looking forward to the prom, especially since the town's only hotspot is the bowling alley, she said.

"I am a little bummed out about it. I guess it's a decision that had to be made. Either way someone was going to get disappointed — either Constance was or we were," Watson said. "I don't agree with homosexuality, but I can't change what another person thinks or does."

McKenzie Chaney, 16, said she wasn't planning to attend the prom, but "it's kind of ridiculous that they can't let her wear the tuxedo and it all be over with."

A Feb. 5 memo to students laid out the criteria for bringing a date to the prom, and one requirement was that the person must be of the opposite sex.

Presgraves said his organization hears about school districts that prohibit same-sex prom dates and gay-straight alliance clubs at schools. He said those kind of policies are detrimental to gay students.

"It sends a message that these students shouldn't be treated the same," Presgraves said.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 2
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 1:27:46 PM
Funny, I gave this story to a friend of mine, here was what *I* have to say about it:

The only people who would make a huge deal out if it are those who WANT a huge deal made out of it--I bet the little lesbian is licking her chops over the delicious furor she's caused. If she wanted to go with a girl, just do it, and then deal with the repercussions later (if there ARE any). But by making a big deal out of it (really, who CARES what you wear? tux or dress, it's not the school's business), and ASKING, you are telling them to condone lesbianism, which obviously (to me, anyway) a conservative town in a conservative state is not going to do.
 FinkyIsMyName
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 3
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 2:15:23 PM
She didn't cause the "furor," the school board did, by denying her the ability to attend her own school prom. THEY chose to cancel it. It was nothing she did except ask to go and dance and have the same rights as anyone else.

The article said there can be a private prom given; it's just the school won't host it. The school board won't even come out and say why they canceled the prom, so they don't get sued for discrimination.
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 4
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 2:29:31 PM
That's ridiculous.

(BTW, OP... you've been pulling some great articles lately!)

Does it matter who you bring to the prom? What if she wasn't a lesbian and just a girl who didn't have a male escort? Why couldn't SHE bring a female "date"?? Would people find it objectionable then?? What if a straight girl just decided that she didn't like dresses and wanted to wear a pants suit?? Would people find it objectionable then??

Clear, unadulterated discrimination - followed by a cover up by just cancelling the event. What if instead of 'lesbian' it said 'african american' or something??

C'mon, people. Human rights. We are supposed to be civilized. Let's act like it.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 2:53:30 PM
The school board didn't want to deal with the issue or have to worry about parent reaction so they took the coward's way out and cancelled the prom. I'm really not surprized at what they did, but what a message they are sending out to the students that when a tough issue comes up don't discuss or debate it, just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away.
 chinua1
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 6
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:16:09 PM
I agree that they are cowards- they are supposed to be the adults; but they're not acting like it.
 DarkCrimson
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 7
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:24:35 PM

The school board didn't want to deal with the issue or have to worry about parent reaction so they took the coward's way out and cancelled the prom. I'm really not surprized at what they did, but what a message they are sending out to the students that when a tough issue comes up don't discuss or debate it, just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away.

If I was their parent; I would be calling for the resignations of the entire school board. They can stick their heads in the sand all they want, but that won't change anything. I would bet if they asked the students, they would find out that they really didn't care one way, or the other.

Mississippi must be taking lessons from the whack-jobs on the Texas school board; that want to change text books for the whole country.
 Krebby2001
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:27:49 PM
Let's see ... hmmm .... the last time this little town was in the news it was about saying prayers over the intercom system ... soooooo .... you make a request like wanting your same-sex partner to wear a tuxedo expecting ............ what? A negative response?

But then, the little town can be homophobic, so to speak, but not necessarily stupid. So, they cancel the whole prom, knowing that if they held the prom, the girl and her friend would probably make a legal issue out of it and they would lose, or at the very least it would be very difficult to make a legal stance defending their right to exclude tuxedos at a prom, I would think.

Civil disobedience, that's what MLK did, and it worked quite effectively. But that can't happen if the "stage" is not set for the civil disobedience to occur -- so no prom. Homophobic but smart. And THEN, why, all the young grasshoppers in town will hate the girl, and then maybe her family will move out. Icing on the cake. Homophobic but smart, and manipulative.

All of this within a little town in the South that's been known to be the way it is for years.

I'm just glad that I don't live there. Who's at fault? Well, let's consider all other little towns in America and take a percentage of how many would take a stance similar to this one. If the vast majority of the little towns would not have reacted this way, then, I reckon, it's the little town's fault. If the vast majority would have reacted similarly, well, maybe the girl is too far ahead of her time. (I think that the legal term for this is "community standards." I'm using this standard because, as far as I understand the case, the issue is "freedom of expression" and not discrimination per se. The Civil Rights act covers "gender" and not necessarily sexual orientation -- those types of laws are state by state or municipality by municipality -- and I doubt that Mississippi is a leader in this type of civil liberty.

But this little town is know to be this way for a long time. You name your ornery horse "Buck," on accounta he's known to do that. One day you make him do something he doesn't cotton to. OMG! He bucked me off! Newsworthy.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 9
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:38:32 PM

If she wanted to go with a girl, just do it

Per the memo, she couldn't. Even if this isn't a homosexuality issue, why deny kids the opportunity to go to prom with a friend if they don't have a date of the opposite gender? If the school district was really freaked out by the idea of two girls being on a date together, they could have just made a rule that no kissing was allowed at the prom so the worst they'd have to "endure" is two girls dancing together.

Not only was this entire class denied a prom but the girl in question is quite cute so a bunch of pubescent boys were denied the opportunity at some good American girl-on-girl ogling.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 10
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:43:52 PM
My HS did away with proms before the 80's. They called it a dinner dance. You could go with a date, by yourself, with a pal or in a group. Primarily to not exclude the terminally dateless. Nobody ever need make a statement about anything.

Many schools nowadays makes those options available with their prom. You probably wouldn't be able to do the grand march thing...but big deal.

If it was an option...I don't see the need for anyone to posture over the issue.

Cancelling the prom was over the top...IMO.
 Ghost Reader
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 11
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:48:19 PM
I would agree that they were cowards ,
but i'd take a second look at the possibility of "John Edwards " rolling into town , and nailing the school system and residents to pay for the "Victim's" horribly egregious hurt and damage.
I don't know a single kid in afganistan who would be willing to trade places with such a Draconian enviroment !
(I only hope she recovers !)
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:17:27 PM

I bet the little lesbian is licking her chops over the delicious furor she's caused.

The "little lesbian" (<-- pretty ignorant commentary too btw) caused no such thing. The school board caused the furor by denying her her rights.

At least get your facts straight.


If she wanted to go with a girl, just do it, and then deal with the repercussions later (if there ARE any)

Um yea. She INTENDED TO do just that. However, when the board realized that the "little lesbian" wouldn't acquiesce, they decided to take a ham handed approach and cancel the whole damn thing. I could speculate to defer the onus from themselves and try to make it the "little lesbian's" *fault*.

Repercussions were pretty clear in case you missed them.


But by making a big deal out of it (really, who CARES what you wear? tux or dress, it's not the school's business), and ASKING, you are telling them to condone lesbianism, which obviously (to me, anyway) a conservative town in a conservative state is not going to do.

As soon as the ALCU got involved, we all knew it would make headlines. And SHE didn't make a big deal out of it - the board and the State did that all by themselves.

And funny that you would say "condone lesbianism" in such a way...so are you a phobe? Prejudiced much? Bit on the homophobic side are we? She didn't expect them to condone anything except for her civil rights which are protected BY LAW.

Conservative State or not - NO ONE has the right to discriminate.

P-E-R-I-O-D.

Full stop.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 13
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:22:44 PM
I get what you hets are saying. "Discrimination is wrong" Yeah? So is being stupid about change.

This sort of thing happens all the time in the real world, not just little towns' proms.

If I were to specifically ask if I could be late every day to work, they'd say 'Hell, no!'
But I do it most days, and not one time has the issue come up.
Because it's TRULY not a big deal, but if I bring it to their attention it becomes a huge deal.

I contend that she politicized her prom experience, and CAUSED--on purpose!--this furor.

My motto is "Ignore the memo." Do things the way you want, and then deal with the fallout later.
 white_flag
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 14
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:33:31 PM
Unfortunately, sh*t like this will never become extinct. You'll always hear of some back water town promoting it's own special sort of hate while trying to paint over it with a rainbow and calling it 'Christian love' or "conservatism", whichever. It's all the same.

It's my hope that one day people will be mature enough and considerate enough to acknowledge that OMG not everyone thinks like you or has the same morals as you and as long as no one's getting hurt: seriously? What's the harm?

Good for her for going back the next day and good for her dad for obviously supporting her.

Maybe if more people started using their common sense rather than relying blindly on an book composed by a group of old men under the pressure of an Emperor who knew he had to organize Christianity into one solidified group for his own gains, then maybe you'd see less and less of this..... idiocy.
 De Adra
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 15
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:52:53 PM
Brave girl. She probably had no idea they hated her enough to punish everyone else.
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 16
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 5:03:54 PM
It depends. What did these lesbians look like?
 Bible Thumper
Joined: 1/11/2010
Msg: 17
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 7:37:57 PM
When a malignancy becomes pervasive, you have to amputate whatever it is growing upon.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 7:59:07 PM
Other than haters and moral zombies from bullshitville, who would care if a teen was gay or bi and brought a same-gender date? Who? Seriously, what a ridiculous form of social hate and backwardness. The teen is a lesbian, should has every right to bring her girlfriend to the prom as does any male peer of her's. This is so simple, she's gay, she dates, it's the prom, why should she be censored or treated differently than any straight student?
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 19
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 8:11:11 PM
One girl going as the guy, not original, and so weird that they would freak at this day and age. No one blinked an eye when my daughter gathered the dateless girls, some surely lesbian, and they all went as boys. No one said boo when I did it 20 years ago. This isn't about two girls going together, this is about homophobia.

Really, what are they worried about, that there will be carpet munchin in cloak room?
 maximusminimus
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 20
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 8:23:01 PM
The subtext is an unfortunate bigotry that is all too common in Mississippi and other southern states where people even now still consider anything too closely resembling a penguin a threat to their way of life. To see a woman in a tuxedo would be unbearable, so they used her lesbianism as an excuse. It's easy to see through to their underlying motive if you're familiar with the culture. Men are allowed to wear them because the way men walk does not resemble a waddle, which keeps the line between the species just barely drawn. Unless the men get drunk and wobble. Then they will get chased and will get fed to polar bears, kept for that purpose at the zoo.
 elahair
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/11/2010 9:05:54 PM
Gotta love the south lol. GD crackers lol
 Outdoor2
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/12/2010 12:55:03 AM

If she wanted to go with a girl, just do it, and then deal with the repercussions later

Perhaps you missed the memo...

A Feb. 5 memo to students laid out the criteria for bringing a date to the prom, and one requirement was that the person must be of the opposite sex.


The memo is unconstitutional. The memo lit the fire.
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/12/2010 1:14:28 AM
Alabama and Mississippi and their towns have a history of canceling proms over other religious issues like interracial dating and integration threats. This is just another frontier that will have to be crossed in those third world nations.

I admire the courage of the young ladies. It is people like them who will drag the deep south kicking and screaming into the 21st century...perhaps a few centuries from now.
 w0rk 0f art
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 24
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/12/2010 1:59:13 AM
While I'm all for equal rights for people to choose how they wish, before we all jump on our high horses... We are missing one valuable point.

The Prom/Debs Ball (as we call it) has always had a traditional dress code were women wore long gowns and men tuxedos.

Years ago, were I live it was unheard of a girl to go without a male companion. Nowadays if someone isn't dating, rather than having the expense of paying for some bloke or girl who goes missing after the picture, she or he will take their friends along... No biggy!

With all due respect to this girl being so open about her sexual orientation, at the end of the day she was not going to a tranny ball. She could have turned up in a ball gown with her friend and nobody would have bothered with her, but if she decided to make a mockery of the traditional dress code, then I'm 100% behind the school on this...
 Outdoor2
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/12/2010 2:25:29 AM

The Prom/Debs Ball (as we call it) has always had a traditional dress code were women wore long gowns and men tuxedos.

In the 1700's men wore wigs, frilly shirts (er, blouses) and makeup! What the hell happened to that tradition?

Years ago, were I live it was unheard of....

Welcome to the 21 century!

...she was not going to a tranny ball.

With all due respect.....Tranny's are guys that dress as girls.....

While I'm all for equal rights.....

In case you missed it....it is the only valuable point....
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date