| | A true age gap under the covers...Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | Ok - well, any help here would be appreciated...though I'm concerned that my mind is made up about this. I met a wonderful woman on another site. She had messaged me. She had noticed that I had looked at her profile. Anyway - I do prefer to date someone older for many reasons...one of which is because I'm a cancer survivor and I've felt that the connection with someone a bit older than myself seems to be better. I am 32 years of age.
She had posted that she was 62 years of age...and I had some trepidation because that's a bit out of the age range that I'm comfortable with.
We did meet and there was very good chemistry. We shared a kiss and made plans to meet again. We had a second date which was nice which ended with us playfully watching tv and drinking wine and kissing and talking.
The conversation drifted to sex. She mentioned that she had a strong sexual attraction to me...and I...even with my reservations about age...said that I felt the same way. We kissed more and touched more...but didn't make love that night. Mainly because I had to get up early for work.
Well...the next day...I wanted to send her flowers but I forgot her address. I didn't want to ask her for her address because I was embarresed that I forgot it. I looked on an address search site that I had access to for work and happened to see her true date of birth which reflected that she was truly 74 years old.
I was a little dumbfounded because I would have never guessed it.
My question is...I feel the strong sexual attraction...I feel the chemistry....but for some reason...I feel like this really huge age gap is really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do. I would never bring up that I know her true age. What to do? | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:07:54 PM | 1. Forget the age, go with how you feel
2. If you are concerned b/c it appears she lied (remember the internet is not foolproof), just freakin' tell her you looked up her addy to send you flowers and youw ere embarassed to call and ask and it said she was 74. Laugh and ask her if it's true. Don't make it a big deal.
3. Forget the age, go with how you feel. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:16:56 PM | Hmmm.. that IS quite the age gap.
Personally, if someone lied to me about their age, I would wonder what ELSE are they going to lie about.
Deal breaker... | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:19:19 PM | And you're 100% sure the info you found is correct? Cuz those things are often wrong wrong wrong. Ask her.
And, just curious, is using the program you have for work really ethical? Cuz a program that tells someone's 'real age' and address sounds like something that's used for confidential purposes. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:20:42 PM | if you were a 74 year old woman you would probably BS about your age to.
tell her you know. tell her you dont like secrets. base what you do next off of how she responds | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:23:31 PM | That's my feeling really.
The other thing though is....is it shallow for me to say that in knowing those two things: 1) that she is 74 and 2) that she lied to me about it - that I'm kinda turned off by it all?
She's a sweet person. And I've gone from being...well...totally sexually turned on by her despite the age she originally told me to...well...not being sure at all anymore.
Making love to a 74 year old woman....??? It has to be different. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:27:46 PM | | So you're attracted to someone close to your mom's age....but not your grandmother's age. Okay. Just tell her. Say "I wanted to send you flowers and instead of asking you for your address, I used a program that told me not only where you live but your real age." She'll either confess she lied or tell you she isn't. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:54:23 PM | It sounds to me like you should replace the concept of "Uncomfortable with the age gap" with "I would feel embarrased to be seen with her". I could be wrong, but I honestly don't think so. If you're down with this girl, to hell with what anyone else thinks, go for it.
BTW, Lying isn't cool. But a woman fudging her age a bit, is more of a fib than a lie...lol | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:55:25 PM | Why does it have to be different?
If she is attracted to you, and you are attracted to her, AND you both want the same thing from the relationship then go for it.
Regardless of age you both need to be honest about whether it is just a physical thing or if there could be more to it.
Congratulations on surviving the cancer. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 12:58:27 PM | | Obviously you only want her for her money. Oops, sorry, that would only apply if you were the female and she was the male. I get confused at times. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 1:04:55 PM | I remember seeing a woman here who talked on the forums and no doubt she looks like she is 46 or 48. Her age is listed as that as well. Reading her profile she was like 58.
She did that because she really looked wonderful for her age and felt more towards those ages. She was open about it, but wanted a chance at more of an age group she felt connected to and I understand that.
This woman feels younger, looks younger. You were attracted. Go with what feels right.
period. Good or bad, right or wrong its your choice -if you dont like the age gap, dont go with it. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 1:44:43 PM | Gee- you were ok with having sex with you mom, but not your grandmother?
a little selective are we?
women lie about their age, only when they are old or LOOK older than they really are or when they think they are old. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 2:01:02 PM | I personally don't trust the online searches. Has me married to someone that I never heard of. Living in a city I have never visited. All the other information is mine. I wrote to the site and they will not change the info, stating it is correct. Fine, then send me the man's address cause he owes me alimoy or estate. They never responded.
I can't tell you what to do, but the age gap is too much. I can't imagine being with a man forty years older than me, but then necrophilia has never been my thing. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 2:09:02 PM | I'm normally pretty cool about age differences, specially when both people are in their thirties and up.
But I have to say...thirty years is big. But...42 years is huge! And the lie part, if it is indeed a lie, is unacceptable (to me). However, only you knows what's best for you:)
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 2:09:49 PM | I'm having a hard time believing that you both waited that long to have sex....a woman that age, a man your age...only one thing on their mind...
Surely it would have happened right away, if there was this attraction...she knows the score, your horny too...
But really if the desire and attraction is there....another few years isn't going to matter...
No, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 2:35:53 PM | I've heard of the "Mommy complex"...but never the "Grandmommy complex!"
10 years is understandable, 20 years is pushing it....but 42 years? Have fun with the diapers! | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 2:45:04 PM | | I would not continue any further. If she lied right off the bat, who's to say she wouldn't lie again. I don't think it is a little white lie. It is a big black lie. For someone to fake their age, I am wondering why? Can she not be honest and mature enough to tell you her real age. Something's not right in her thought process. Does she think no one will want her? Does she want a youger man...then why doesn't she say it. Makes me wonder about her self esteem. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:20:20 PM | And I thought the movie "Harold and Maude" was a far stretch even for fiction. Jump her bones (gently of course) and please let us know how this comes out. | |
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Souad
| | Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 22 | |
| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:23:16 PM | I've been involved with men both older and younger, but I gotta say that difference in years seems extreme, even to me.
I like to have thing in common with a partner, I'm wondering what you have in common with her OP. It must be my gender prejudice. I could see myself with a man considerably older, but the opposite kinda creeps me out. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:23:45 PM |
What to do?
Do what you intended in the first place.
You are horny and lonely.
She is lonely and horny.
Have sex. Have a pseudo relationship.
Then have the "I thought I could deal with it....but I just can't. We are too different" talk.
Or just disappear because you don't know what to talk to her about after you nail her. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:29:35 PM | | Being old and looking old does not excuse you from being sexually desirable or effective. Sorry, but if you think age alone will let you off the hook, you are sadly mistaken. It takes something else, like an evil personality, bad breath, or a house too full of cats to protect you from interest and enjoyment, yea, from your duty. There, I said it. | |
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| A true age gap under the covers...
Posted: 3/14/2010 3:32:37 PM | | Only you can decide whether or not the age difference and the deception is a deal breaker. Remember that this relationship will, more than likely, be something that is kept from your family and friends... both of you. Few people will understand why you would be interested in each other. If you go out in public, people will assume she is your mother or grandmother or, worse yet, you are her boy toy. Can you handle that? You are two generations apart. That's huge. Aside from sexual attraction, do you feel anything else for her? You are from two different worlds and have nothing in common. Go with your gut. | |
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