| | Why do guys look and not even say hello? Page 1 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | | Curious as to why guys look and then don't do anything about it. Even on night's out with my friend's they get chatted up and yet guys seem to just look at me. I am old school and prefer to be chatted up. Maybe I have halitosis or is it my scary mole? | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 4:14:00 AM | Why don't YOU look back, say hello and mention that scary mole---could be the perfect ice breaker?
You can pretend to be "old school" but is it that----or is it easier to just sit back, act pretty and "allow" men to approach you? Yeah that IS easier and gives you the supreme "power" to pick and choose as you see fit, never experiencing the chance of "rejection" which is a perfect thing----most guys would love the same opportunity!
So what's the answer here? Your current method isn't working and yet your friends get chatted up---what are THEY doing differently than you? Possibly giving off the wrong vibes is why guys look but never approach you---check out your chatted up friends and see what they're doing you're not. Could be body language with a defensive, scared posture; a look on your face like you've just smelled something foul--these wouldn't be very encouraging.
Guys aren't approaching because something you're doing encourages them to stay away----the trick is to find what that is and then stop it!
BTW Ms Cheeky you're very cute----nice photos here too so that's not it at all!! | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 4:28:24 AM | | She's sayin why do her friends get chatted up, while she does not, even in the same group. I'd seriously consider taking initiative but I"d also suggest you ask the girlfriends. They probably know. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 4:29:37 AM | | If a man is going to approach you, he will do it only if you act approachable...make some of the eye contact and do some of the welcoming gestures you see your friends doing. If I were a man, Id get tired of doing all the approaching, all of the time too. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 5:18:50 AM | It sure isn't you, OP. Too bad you didn't live much, much closer, yeeeeow.
Its the guys. They are intimidated by a hot woman, especially one who's waiting on them to make a master move. Orrr....have you considered, these men are using your friends to hope to get to you instead?
Either way, watch your friends, see how they present themselves. Maybe you'll see what you do different, and maybe that's the problem? | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 5:30:42 AM | I'm sure your hello count just went up!
Maybe the others are right that your not giving off the right vibes.
Are you been flirty? Making eye contact? | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 5:51:48 AM | Its a couple of reasons. I can only speak for myself but sometimes I play out a negative scenario in my head and move on instead of risk humiliation. Admittedly, its an unhealthy thing to do. Other times, I just observe the view and have no intentions of chatting anyone up - at least not on that day.
However, if I intend to eventually chat with the woman, I may save her on my favorites list. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:03:23 AM | One thing that I hear consistantly, after getting to know people, is thier first assumption about me is that I am already spoken for. I dont act like a single woman...whatever that means. lol
In reality, Ive been single since 1996...yet people always assume I have a steady mate. Then they chat up my friends, make a pass at one of them, and by the end of the night, they find out thru casual conversation I am single too...but its too late, they have already hit on my galpal, and now it's a hands off situation for me, and if he has class, for him as well.
I am a quiet person by nature, do not seek to be the center of attention, and I blend into most siuations because of my demeaner. I have never been that crazy party girl who everyone clamours to be near. I am always the sensible book worm who drives them home safely...and the party girls who barf alot seem to get the attention...lolol | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:04:10 AM | | It could be that you are really hot and guys are scared. Guys are just as insecure as us, and your other friends may be more approachable. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:11:20 AM | If you were "old school" You wouldnt be using the term.."Chatted up"
Perhaps they look..but arent intrested!!
or is that reply to obvious???? | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:21:05 AM | | OP, move to mainland Europe. Like Italy. You will get your fair share of come-ons... probably within minutes of stepping off the plane. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:33:36 AM | I used to see it all the time. The hottest girl in the bar would be with her friends, alone, never asked to dance, or chatted up, because everyone was intimidated. I used to ask them to dance, or chat them il, and spend the whole evenin having a good time. It used to piss off my one buddy, because I'd never bother getting their number.
They were usually around anyway. You just need more guys with confidence. But I was pretty**** back in the day.
Not like now.
muwahaha | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:38:30 AM | Perhaps it's your body language. You may be unconciously communicating your insecurities!
Try this: the next time you're out with your friends, focus on the guy you are interested in...try to imitate the way he stands/sits/leans. If he holds his drink in his left hand...you do it too, taking sips at the same intervals. If he's tapping his foot, tap your finger to the same rhythm...basically sending the vibe that you have a lot in common.
I read an article about this ^^^ and tried it myself. It's called "mirroring" and it works! | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:43:59 AM | You're a glorious illustration of why women should assume their share of taking the initiative, OP. In most contexts you could pretty much take your pick of the guys, but instead because you're old-school so you end up with... nothing? Men you're not that keen on? Maybe guys think you're out of their league, maybe your body language suggests disinterest; we don't know. But instead of waiting to be asked, in future go get 'em first and strike a blow for women getting the best!
It's called "mirroring" and it works Can we do that too or does it only work for girls? | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:59:08 AM |
If you were "old school" You wouldnt be using the term.."Chatted up"
Perhaps they look..but arent intrested!!
or is that reply to obvious????
Errr sorry ma'am but OP is from Scotland--"chatted up" is quite the phrase there as well as all of the UK!
The answer they're looking but not interested is indeed plausible but c'mon---she's cute, lithe, well built, blonde with wonderfully long, free flowing hair----only gay guys wouldn't be interested in her "like that"!! | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:05:32 AM | It can be intimidating to approach women. Especially if they're in a group with girlfriends. If you really want to be approached, go have a drink (doesn't have to contain alcohol, either) by yourself and bring a book along. You're much less intimidating that way and if no guy comes up, at least you enjoyed a relaxing drink and read.
And like Sarah says, we're just as insecure as women, we just don't show it because it makes us less "manly."
It is kind of annoying when a woman, especially one as attractive as the OP, whines about "guys aren't approaching me." Sometimes in life, we have to go and get things we want, they aren't just going to fall into our laps. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:09:21 AM | | I look at every profile that meets my search criteria. I don't email all of them. Either I'm not attracted or I feel that I don't meet some of their criteria that sound important. If it feels right I email, otherwise I don't. Pretty simple. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:28:34 AM |
Why don't YOU look back, say hello and mention that scary mole---could be the perfect ice breaker?
And don't forget to smile, sometimes that's all it takes to invite a guy's attention. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:31:07 AM | Why do they look? Because they have eyes.
Why don't they say hello?Because they do not have to, they don't want to, they are not interested in anything other than looking, possibly you give off an angry vibe or any one of another million reasons. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:32:30 AM | Because they are intimidated by your beauty!!!
Or they look and find out they are thousands of miles away.
Or they see that your profile is boring.
Or maybe you appear "aloof" or unfriendly in public. You have 4 pictures and not a smile in any of them. If you project that out in public, guys will interpret that as disinterest. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 7:53:53 AM | Well, I'm a-thinkin' they see some sort of something in your attitude or who the heck knows what.. and they just aren't interested.
Not all that difficult to figure that out.
If a man is interested, he'll find some way to begin .. and then continue.. a conversation with you!
Especially seeing as they're already at the table or vicinity talking with your friends.
Actually, why did you start this thread? I mean we don't know you or why guys don't want to talk with you.
Was it just to milk compliments on your not so clear photos?
 Truthfully I don't think I'd want to put it out there on a dating site that men seem to always pick the friends you're with and ignore you. | |
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| Why do guys look and not even say hello?
Posted: 3/19/2010 8:24:30 AM | You've heard all the correct answers. Perhaps intimidated. Perhaps think you're already taken.
I think it's more likely you, simply because of one telling statement in your profile... "Don't judge this book by it's cover". This would seem to indicate that you have some insecurity dealing with your looks. Could be either way. Could be you think that you don't get enough men talking to you or contacting you because you are very attractive. Or, it could be you don't feel men talk to you or contact you because of some perceived flaw in your looks.
Either way, I'm betting that you are the one giving off the negative vibe and this is the most likely reason that you don't get "chatted up". It's up to you to change this. It's up to you to "make yourself available" or, heaven forbid, acutally go up and talk to someone instead of waiting at the barstool. Being "old school" is simply your way of not having to deal with rejection. Get over it and get out there! | |
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