|
|
|
|
|
| | HERPES Who is to blamePage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Everyone should read this, even though it is long.
Firstly, if you have never had an IgG type specific Herpes test, then you cannot say you do not have Herpes. herpes can be symptom-less and lies dormant for years.
HSV (Herpes), HIV, HPV and Hep C are NOT on a standard STD test and must be requested. Some standard Herpes tests are not that reliable. Unless you have the test months after the last sexual encounter, antibodies may not be built up and therefore you may get a false negative.
Can you forgive someone who gives it to you?
You have to think of the facts about Herpes transmission when considering who gave what to whom. While being forgiving is usually not on the person's mind, once the anger, resentment and embarrassment subsides, perhaps it would be wise to consider the following. (unless you are certain they knew they had it of course)
If you have oral Herpes, oral sex can transmit the virus to their genitals and then back during genital sex. One third of new transmission is through oral sex.
Herpes can take years to manifest. If you have kept the virus latent, but suddenly have trauma, rough sex or another trigger and your immune system is weaker, you can have an outbreak.
You really can have Herpes and not know it and subsequently pass it on. Sub-clinical or Asymptomatic Herpes is very real. How can you blame someone else when it might just be you who had Herpes all along and perhaps put the person you are blaming at risk, or gave it to them?
Unless you both get tested 6 months after your last sexual encounter and you are both the first person since, how can you really know?
A lot of tests are not that reliable and there are false negatives and false positives. Even if you do get the IgG type specific gold standard test, you will never know how long you have actually had it.
And finally, unless you have an immediate Herpes serology test and then get another one 6 months down the road and you see the rise in antibodies to prove it was your first outbreak, you will never know who gave it to whom.
Jut a few things for you to ponder. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 4:39:56 PM | Thanks for the information.Not something people like to face head on,but important none the less.Pretty daunting to read though. Put's casual sex in a brighter light and makes me regret being so flippant about hooking up on my first date.Thankfully,10 months into my relationship with said fellow "slut" neither of us are symptomatic,but then again,neither of us was ever tested.Risky business to say the least.
I guess once you have it,the blame game is pointless.So is, it seems,thinking you can easily escape getting infected by at least one serious STD in our lifetime.
How easy is it to contract? I mean do you have any idea of the 'odds'?
Were you having safe sex when you contracted it?
How are you living with it? Does it effect/define your life now?
Now that you know that you have it,how do you handle sex?
Are you upfront right off the bat about having it?
If two people knowingly have it,can it get worse by having sex together?
Seems to me,it's pretty close to impossible to protect oneself 100%.
I had a friend who's first sexual connection after his divorce was with a woman from POF who omitted that she had it for 7 years,but wasn't infectious because she wasn't having an outbreak.Is that true?He was finally told 6 months into having sex with her that she was infected.
Is it instantaneous in regards to contracting it at first contact?
I figure,this is the perfect place to post this, as sex isn't all fun and games and might make people think.Too bad I didn't read this before I thru caution to the wind.
Thankfully,I didn't let my divorce/sexual repression get the best of me and I stopped with one monogamous live-in lover.
Thanks for the reality check though.
Seems to me,you didn't wind up with this in vain.
You are trying to help warn others and I appreciate that.
I'll be interested in reading your responses. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:45:06 PM | It is not instantaneous at first contact. You can outbreak fairly quickly, but you can also not. So you could catch it and not know.
You *can* be infectiouis when not having an outbreak. Asymtomatic shedding is what it's called. You shed the virus from your skin and there is no way to knwo when it's happening.
If you have cold sores, you can shed the virus from teh skin around your mouth/lips at any time even with no signs at all. Or you might not be. Again, no way to tell.
I was with a man who had a history of cold sores and he did oral on me and I did not contract herpes.
I was with another man for a year who also got cold sores and for that year, I did not contract herpes. But then I did. Yep. In April I had the blood test and was completely hsv free. In November, I had contracted it. I did not realize you could get it when there were no visible sores. Again, to be clear, the herpes came from hsv-1, from his cold sores on his mouth. But on me, the hsv-1 was on my genitals. So we go forth into the future, with me havin gtthe stigma of genital herpes, he has the non-stigma of cold sores. Same virus.
It's chance, russian roulette. Your cold sore partner may nto give it to you on your genitals for 5 years...but then 5 years, 3 days, he/she can. Oral sex, unprotected.
If you know your partner gets cold sores and you know that you do not, then at any time you allow oral sex unprotected you are taking a risk of contracting genital herpes. YOu have to ask yourself is the risk worth the pleasure and is the pleasure worth the risk.
Yes I intend to be upfront with any new partners before we get to that point.
Condoms help, but do not entirely prevent the spread, because it is shed off the skin and that includes skin all around genital area, not just the area covered by a condom.
The antiviral meds, if taken daily, also help.
Avoiding contact when there is an outbreak also helps, but does not entirely avoid.
You can minimize the risk of spreading teh virus with all 3 of the above, but there is still a small chance of transmission which is why we all need to be educated and informed.
Also when you first catch it you have to be very careful to avoid spreading it to other parts of your body - eyes, mouth, genitals in particular. once you build up antibodies then you are ok, I think it takes about 2 months. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:53:55 PM | | Kitty, re: [If you have oral Herpes, oral sex can transmit the virus to their genitals and then back during genital sex.] It is generally hard to pass HSV-1 from the genitals to another person. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 6:01:17 PM | TO chickie (my fav health educator here)...
When you say "generally hard", can you be more specific? When no sores present, risk of transmission of hsv-1 vs hsv-2?
I've read before that it's harder (not just from you) but I"m curious what the actual risk is considered to be.
Also...can you clarify the latest understanding/belief on catching hsv-2 if you already have hsv-1 (or vice versa) and does it matter if you have the sores orally or on genitals? I keep reading conflicting information...
I have no new partners so I am not asking for personal use, just curious b/c this comes up on these boards fairly often and I'm not sure what to say (to refute/agree/or just speak on) | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 7:29:17 PM | Kaylie, I looked something up last week at work and sent it to my home e-mail so I could post it in the herpes thread. Here it is again. I don't have a stat on HSV-1 genital transmission, but "generally harder" is the best I can do.
From a web conference appearing in Medscape (Importance of Asymptomatic Shedding in the Prevention and Treatment of Genital Herpes): If you have type 2 infection, it's highly unlikely you will ever get type 1. But if you have type 1, you can certainly get type 2 and then you have both types recurring
I also found this in the files:
During the first 6 months of infection, shedding can occur during 20% to 40% of days; with longer-term infection, shedding may occur during 5% to 20% of days. It is the shedding of virus -- and particularly asymptomatic viral shedding -- that is responsible for the transmission of genital herpes. Asymptomatic viral shedding is the presence of virus in the absence of clinical signs or symptoms. Up to 70% of new infections can be attributed to asymptomatic shedding. Asymptomatic shedding occurs in virtually all HSV-2 infected patients, and shedding rates cannot be predicted on the basis of age, sex, or reported history of outbreaks. Shedding of virus can occur from multiple genital sites, and 50% of asymptomatic shedding events occur more than 7 days before or after a clinical outbreak. And although viral shedding tends to diminish over the course of infection, the rate of decay is measured in years and the potential of transmission persists.
I hope this is helpful. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 9:16:20 PM | as far as I know ...I don't have herpes ....however I have dated women with reoccurring cold sores ... mainly before we knew about herpes .... I had a teenage girlfriend who had them all the time and she was a virgin when we met ... I was her first not only sex partner ...her first kiss... whether it was herpes or not I don't know .. a doctor told me not all cold sores are herpes ... still I don't know ....If i was single and met a woman who knew she had herpes ..I would still date her and still have sex ...if I cared for her ...to me herpes is not that big a deal most everyone who is sexually active has bee exposed ...so in that respect I would hold no malice to someone who gave it to me ... If they knew they had it I would expect honesty ...herpes though it is forever is not fatal ..just an inconvenience.... If I was sexually active with someone who had it ..I would refrain from sex during an outbreak and would insist on anti viral medication aside from that herpes just don't concern me ... I can live with herpes ..I just cant see myself living without love ...or sex for that mater...so from all the latest information no mater what precautions we are all on equal ground as for our risk of catching it ..or for already having it for that mater
on another note ... until we had anti viral medications doctors told us that we were in no danger of catching herpes except during an outbreak ....I know numerous couples where one has it ...and has had it for years..the other one don't and all the precaution they have ever used is refraining from contact during an outbreak .... .as a mater of fact the first time I ever heard of it being transmitted by shedding was in a Valtrex commercial .... within six months the information was being touted every where ... maybe Im just cynical but big pharma is not above inventing a disease to go with their cure ..or at the least hyping fear to sell their product ...and they have the perfect media for doing such ... we believe every thing the medical community tells us ...even when it is 180 from what they have been telling us for years ...still If I knew I had herpes ...or that my lover had herpes ...we would buy it | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 10:08:01 PM | Tell me Who came First the Egg or the Chick.
It is mind boggling. The solution is to buy a Bottle and jump in it and close the led you get no Herpes.
According to an article I read if you have herpes and it is dormant you can not infect any one through sexual contact. It has to be active to infect. If you have Herpes and is active abstain from any sexual contact. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/20/2010 10:45:52 PM | If YOU do not take Proper Precautions to protect YOURSELF , then you have no one to blame but YOURSELF if you catch anything from someone else!!!
ponder that! | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 5:14:04 AM | Deerdog, I appreciate your compassionate remarks. But please read the comments I quoted above on shedding. I was also skeptical at first and carefully checked who was funding the research whenever I read a paper. Shedding is for real. And cold sores are caused by HSV-1 unlike canker sores which are a different sort of animal.
The medical community makes mistakes. Research can upset what was previously believed. For example, they thought at one point that herpes was the culprit in cervical cancer. We thought at one point that herpes always looked like a case of cold sores on the genitals. We now know it can look like a cut, an irritation or a rash. And most important, we thought you had to have a sore or at least a prodrome to be infectious.
There is ongoing research into suppressive therapy and transmission. Let's see what the next few years bring on that issue. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 5:59:33 AM | Kaylie
Thank you for your honesty and personal take on this.
F*ck the stigma...I still think you are WAY cool.
<div class="quote">It's chance, russian roulette.
Condoms help, but do not entirely prevent the spread, because it is shed off the skin and that includes skin all around genital area, not just the area covered by a condom.
You shed the virus from your skin and there is no way to know when it's happening.
You can outbreak fairly quickly, but you can also not. So you could catch it and not know.If you know your partner gets cold sores and you know that you do not, then at any time you allow oral sex unprotected you are taking a risk of contracting genital herpes. You have to ask yourself is the risk worth the pleasure and is the pleasure worth the risk.
Sport f*cking without care, isn't worth the risk,but love is.All this does is reinforce my resolve in staying with one man and not taking risk after risk for the sake of instant gratification.Screw the 'moral' ramifications of multiple sex partners, this is about self preservation.I took my risk and found love,not an STD,thankfully.
Take care of yourself Kaylie! | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:00:27 AM |
I was also skeptical at first and carefully checked who was funding the research whenever I read a paper.
probably your right ...but in this day and time ..can you really be sure who to trust .... we have scandals every day .. from all communities....the medical community not withstanding ... with medication being such big business .. do we really know who is being bribed ...I cant help but being skeptical when I hear of the treatment before I hear of the problem .. and as I said when I personally know of many couples who live together a lifetime .. where one is positive and the other never becomes infected ...yet they have unprotected sex ..and the only precaution the use is to watch for signs of an outbreak and refrain from sex during one | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:28:34 AM |
and as I said when I personally know of many couples who live together a lifetime .. where one is positive and the other never becomes infected ...yet they have unprotected sex ..and the only precaution the use is to watch for signs of an outbreak and refrain from sex during one.
Lucky them,but they are still at risk thanks to the shedding possibilities,no?
http://www.herpes.com/genitalinfo.shtml
Transmission may occur even if there is no visible outbreak if the infected person is shedding.
Genital HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of eight). This may be due to male-to-female transmission being more likely than female-to-male transmission.
Genital herpes has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S.; 500,000 are diagnosed each year. One in five American adults has herpes, but only one third of those inflicted are aware that they have the virus. Many people don't relate their symptoms to herpes, since they have either very mild or no symptoms at all. Over 50 million cases are currently estimated to exist in either the active or dormant stage.
Asymptomatic shedding of HSV is the most common mode of transmission of genital herpes infection. It is estimated that more than half of the HSV-2 genital infections are asymptomatic.
FACTS ABOUT GENITAL HERPES:
Transmission is caused by close oral, anal, or genital contact, including intercourse, masturbation, kissing, or any direct skin-to-skin contact which allows for the transfer of bodily fluids.
A person is considered contagious when prodromal symptoms, active sores, and healing lesions are present.
Herpes is potentially contagious when no symptoms are present. That is, a person who has genital herpes is potentially always shedding active virus.
Approximately 1 in 6 members of the general infected population is thought to shed active virus occasionally without symptoms.
Some people do not get typical blister-like sores but harbor active virus in their saliva, vaginal, or penile secretions, and can shed the virus without knowing they have herpes.
Lesions can occur deep inside the vagina where they cannot be seen or felt, but can readily transmit the virus.
An uninfected individual has about a 75% chance of contracting herpes during intimate contact with someone actively shedding virus.
Oral herpes can be transmitted to the genitals, and vice versa. Symptoms are similar.
Auto-inoculation: An infected individual can spread the virus to other parts of his or her body by touching an area shedding virus and then touching, scratching, or rubbing another susceptible part of the body. Towels are especially conducive to this.
It is possible for a person to contract genital herpes if the partner with oral herpes performs oral sex. Oral herpes can be transmitted to the genitals, and vice versa. Symptoms are similar.
Environmental surfaces like toilet seats may be a source of contagion, but there is no evidence that this poses a real threat to the general population. Experts differ as to how long the virus can survive on its own. The primary cause of infection remains intimate contact.
Where is my full body condom when I need it! SHEESH! | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:40:47 AM | ~rain~
If YOU do not take Proper Precautions to protect YOURSELF , then you have no one to blame but YOURSELF if you catch anything from someone else!!!
From my understanding YOU can take all the precautions you like, you may still catch herpes.
Condoms help but don't always cover the sites where the virus is being shed.
The virus can shed with NO sypmtoms.
The virus can lay dormant for many years, one can have it and never experience an outbreak.
Unless you have had an IgG blood test 3 months (no sooner) after your last sexual encounter you cannot say, definitively, that you do not have it.
Tests for HSV are NOT part of the routine screening for STIs, you will need to ask for it specifically.
Cold sores are herpes and can be spread to the genitals.
On the positive side:
It's not life threatening. The worst thing about it is the way other people view it.
It is actually fairly difficult to transmit. I believe the rates are something like:
man to woman 5% to 8%
woman to man 2% to 4%
Rates can be halved by taking suppressive anti-virals.
Research indicates that the longer one has had it the less likely one is to pass it on.
The ONLY ways to ensure you don't catch it are:
1) Abstain from sex entirely
2) Only have sex with someone after you have BOTH received a negative result from a correctly administered blood test, and then ensure that the relationship is entirely monogamous.
I have quite a lot of friends who have this virus, some have been somewhat promiscuous, some caught it from their first partner, some were informed their partner had it and they were aware of the risk, some weren't informed, some were infected by a partner who didn't know they had it.
Many are/have been in relationships with non-herpes partners and the partners have not caught it.
Personally I would date someone who had it. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 7:23:19 AM | Good info, makes you wonder how humans still exist lol.
Anyways, this is always in my head when on a night out but I haven't been laid in months but I haven't been checked so maybe I should. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 7:33:50 AM | feline..with all due respect. I still stand by what I said in my previous post.
You have no one to blame but yourself if you do contract any sort of STDs or STIs.
You make your choice who, when, where, how you have sex, (unless it is rape) so if you dont take certain precautions before you make these choices, then the blame is yours if you do catch anything!! | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 7:46:10 AM | I guess I have a problem with the word "blame". When people stated getting HIV, they were blamed and stigmatized. Then when people started getting it from infected blood, they were somehow above reproach. And the children who got it? Well, how could it be their fault? So they were off the hook, too.
We have evolved since then to recognize that HIV is an infection which can lead to serious illness and death. Period. When we have sexual activities with other people, we decide on the level of risk we are willing to take. If that results in getting an infection, hopefully we accept that it is the consequence of the level of risk we agreed to. If we have no intimate physical contact, do not share needles, works, bills or straws and never have a blood transfusion in a country that doesn't have the means to check their blood supply adequately, I guess we will stay free of infection from sexual contact or blood.
But take the example of someone who tells their partner they have a history of cold sores and offers to use barrier protection on the genitals. If the receiver says, "I'll take my chances" and gets HSV-1, they can self flagellate or shrug their shoulders and deal with it. Why assign blame? | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 7:48:40 AM | Herpes is tough, because so much about it is unknown to most people...
- Condoms are only partly effective at preventing transmission
- 1 in 5 males, and 1 in 4 females in the United States are carriers. That's the highest rate in the developed world.
- Most people have HSV 1 in their system (oral cold sores) that if in a breakout, can transmit to another person's genital area.
- The IgG test is sketchy, at best, for the first three to four months after initial contraction. So even though you tested negative, it could just mean the anti-bodies don't exist yet in the body, but you are indeed positive.
Learning all this from my doctor last time I got tested made me really think hard about sexual encounters. The one night stands from the bar are not safe, condoms or not.
If you have a cheating partner, he/she may spread it to you without even knowing.
Granted, Herpes is not the most serious and certainly won't kill you. But, who wants to worry about breaking out in sores all the time? | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/21/2010 12:26:52 PM |
But, who wants to worry about breaking out in sores all the time?
actually only a very very small portion of herpes positive people ...have frequent outbreaks
many have only the initial outbreak ..and still others never have an outbreak ... this is the reason so many have it and dont know it | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/22/2010 4:46:09 PM | I thought people might want to read the latest stats from the States.
March 15, 2010 (Atlanta, Georgia) - Rates of herpes simplex virus (HSV)-2 infection have remained stable for the past decade, but approximately 1 in 6 people 14 to 49 years of age is infected, according to an analysis of data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) 2005-2008.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/718513?src=mpnews&spon=16&uac=30649BV | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/22/2010 4:55:05 PM | | Herpes is not actually transmitted as supposed. It can't be got by sexual contact like other contagions. It is instead bestowed judiciously by the sly Herpes Fairy, who know whether you have been morally pure or wayward. | |
|
| |
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:23:37 PM |
It's not life threatening. The worst thing about it is the way other people view it.
Well, I don't know about that.... Trying going to Google, hit images then type in "herpes"
Look at a couple of pages of he pics of what it actually looks like... You might want a bucket handy if you have a weak stomach.... | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:01:31 PM | Though I have been very lucky and never contracted anything like this, I know someone very dear to me who was unlucky - using protection, in a committed relationship, and then she learned the awful truth.
feline..with all due respect. I still stand by what I said in my previous post.
You have no one to blame but yourself if you do contract any sort of STDs or STIs.
You make your choice who, when, where, how you have sex, (unless it is rape) so if you dont take certain precautions before you make these choices, then the blame is yours if you do catch anything!!
May you never have to eat those words. | |
|
| HERPES Who is to blame
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:51:34 PM | | In Europe herpes is a standard panel for screening. No one bothers with it too much. We have shot that resets your immune system if you picked it up. They do it in your butt. Usually it is like 2-3 shots. From there it is gone. I guess no one bothers because even if it arrives they remove it fast and effective. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
