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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 1
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
HEY EVERYONE.

So I just wanted to share something. Most people wonder "How do you mend a broken heart'? right?

Well I've expereinced this myself, and I thought i would share my own expereince to help others who get their heart brokens.

So a few months ago, 2 months ago to be exact. I got my heart broken really really badly, which made me really depressed, and i spent so much time crying about it and questioning it. Thats the problem. When people end up with a broken heart we often spend too much time hurting and wondering "why" or "what if". But really what does that solve? It just makes people more upset and depressed right?

This is what I did. I kept questioning it, I kept letting myself feel down and feel like it was my fault, when really it wasnt my fault, so I shouldnt of been blaming myself. So one day I said to myself, I cant do this anymore, this is stupid, I derserve to be happy. I dont derserve to be down about something like this. Yeah it did hurt ALOT. So I worked out to burn off the emotions I was feeling, the worse i would feel the harder I would work out which has helped. But what also helped was saying "why care'? I cared too much, and that lead me to get hurt, so clearly caring about it isnt gonna make me feel better. So I kept telling myself, and others told me. Let it pass you by like the scencey does when your lookin out the window, you see it, you feel it, just let it go by and dont question it. I started to do this, and I started to feel better. I started to be happy with myself again. I realized if someone is gonna hurt me, than really are they worth being upset over? I said no, Im done being hurt, im done being depressed. There is so much more to live for, and be thankful for. Worrying doesnt exist anymore, being upset just isnt worth it.

So for all of you's who go through this, you will get through it believe me. a Broken heart makes you stronger, and teaches you things not only about the person who broke your heart but also about yourself. It gives you time to work on yourself, and figure yourself out. You derserve to be happy, nobody derserves to be down and depressed over a broken heart. I lived and learned this a number of times. and Its all made me stronger.

So I just thought i would share that.
 Sun_Devil_92
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 2
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/28/2010 1:52:20 PM


edit: I guess I'll make it on topic - and give an example like Urban says ...

Op, I knew my ex's eyes in the morning sun, I felt her touch me in the morning rain,
and the moment that she wandered far from me, I wanted to feel her in my arms again,
She came to me on a summer's breeze, she kept me warm in her love and she softly left,
It was me that she needed to show ...
 forum_moderator
Joined: 1/24/2003
Msg: 3
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/28/2010 2:56:06 PM
To the off topic chat squatters - if you have nothing relevant to add to the topic matter - move along.

Some of you are not getting the idea of what valid replies are - allow me to refresh for the umpteenth time.

Posting Guidelines

 Profile-Writer
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 4
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/28/2010 5:09:16 PM
Thanks for sharing. Your words are positive reinforcement that the broken hearted will survive.
 Tiggerlady28
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 5
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/28/2010 7:49:28 PM
Thanks Lil Meggie for taking the time to post this....this gives me hope that I can get through this...
 ~exitstageleft~
Joined: 3/21/2010
Msg: 6
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/28/2010 8:40:01 PM
Good for you, OP. I hope I'll recover from my similar hurt, and be as strong as you one day. Thanks for posting.
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 7
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:52:04 AM
When it happens its something we all feel we cant get through, and we say to ourselves "how will I ever get over this", but instead we should be saying " I derserve to get over this and I will." I know when people are hurt, its hard to think like that, but you just gotta remind yourself that you will get through it, and that you derserve to, and you will. Trust me, I was at the point where I was super depressed, and I wasnt sure how I would ever overcome the hurt, but I did. Sometimes talking to other people helps, and keep reminding yourself what you have to offer, and your great qualities, and that will turn you around, and you'll become happy with yourself again as I have.
 mikey2208
Joined: 3/24/2010
Msg: 8
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:07:05 AM
In my past ways of mending a broken heart. I found it easy: insert a george strait cd in the machine and get a bottle of J D and drink the night away, by the morning you get sick of feeling sorry for yourself or throw the cd out of the window.

 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 9
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:26:05 AM
LOL well sorry to say but drinking away a broken heart isnt the solution, that just makes you feel worse. But your right you do get sick of feeling sorry for yourself. whats the point, its better to feel happy and alive and like your worth something, when you totally are.

People take broken hearts as not being worth something, and makes us feel worthless and useless, but its not meant to make you feel that way, nobody should ever make you feel that way, and you shouldnt allow them to.

Its a good way to learn what you do and dont want in a person, and good way to learn about yourself.
 ShayLuther
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 10
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:11:32 PM

One day I said to myself, I cant do this anymore, this is stupid, I derserve to be happy. I dont derserve to be down about something like this.


As inspiring as this post may be to some people, and it does have
good intentions. Some people cant break this mentality barrier.

Personally, I can do what you say. However, it doesnt stick. May
last a few hours then I find myself questioning "what if, I had not
done, or had done, or done differently" When in fact I know Im
not to blame, but it still does not mend anything.

I live in a shit town, mining town, male populated and the people
I work with on my team are mainly 30+ a lot seem to be in their
60's.. When you lack friends, its hard to get over anything.

I recently lost my girl cause she slowly turned into a headcase,
to put it simple and fast. Meant the world to me, got along great.
But she found a way to **** it up.

My advice, use this method if you like. But youre going to need
friends to actually mend any damage. Get out, do something you
like, and meet someone new daily.

Too bad most of us cant take our own advice.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 11
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:15:45 PM

I realized if someone is gonna hurt me, than really are they worth being upset over? I said no, Im done being hurt, im done being depressed. There is so much more to live for, and be thankful for. Worrying doesnt exist anymore, being upset just isnt worth it.
Bravo thanks for sharing this. Pain will come to pass. I understand life is too short worrying if you could have done something to make the relationship work.
 ShayLuther
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 12
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:48:33 PM

A 24 year old is gonna teach us everything


Ignorance.
Arrogance.
A clear display of flawed qualities. Good job.
 new1998
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 13
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:14:20 PM
just read lil magie's advise on a broken heart. I saw response from you that says you are going through the same thing,

I'm going through the same thing. Maybe we should have a group people who are going through this same thing and meet up and totally understand each other and do what it take to get over these people together. what ever it taks. If means getting out of town for the weekend to keep busy or phone calls to each other to talk and compare,,,, then why not. Maybe that is what we kneed right now

let me know if you would like to chat and who know we may start something new here. we are the same age, hight and avoisly going through the same thing..

Let me know if you want to do this. I know that this would be great for me

Ruby
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 14
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/30/2010 6:50:16 AM
In response to what Shea said.

Just because you live in a small town, and a lack of friends doesnt mean you cant heal over a broken heart.

You said it yourself, you said she turned out to be a headcase, so that alone should help you get over her. As much as your wanting to get over her, its like you keep questioning your intution? You must trust your intution, and go with your gut feeling.

Sometimes our minds and hearts and our guts all feel differently, and tell us 3 different things, But you gotta do whats best for yourself to make yourself feel better. Just think do you want less or more stress in your life? Worrying and thinking about something that bothers you, is just gonna make you feel more stressed, so shouldnt that alone tell you its not worth worrying or thinking about?

Trust me, I use to be the same way. I use to worry and think about it all the time, and I kept questioning myself, and other people around me, I kept saying but why this, and why that, and this isnt fair, and this isnt how it should be, and I kept doing that constantly over and over and over, and it just made me feel more depressed thinking that way. So do what I did and say "you know what this isnt worth stressin getting depressed over, there is so much more to make me happy". You dont need to have lots of friends to tell you that, just telling yourself that is a start, is a step in the right direction. It means your trying to improve yourself. Keep telling yourself you will get through it, because YOU WILL. The more you say I'm going to be okay, Im going to get through this, I can be happy with myself, and I will be happy with myself, the more you remind yourself of all that, and all the good qualities you have the better you will feel. This is something you need to do for yourself, and hear from yourself, cuz your not gonna believe it until you say it to yourself right?

Trust me I wouldnt be saying any of this if I didnt expereince all this myself, But I did, and Im thankful I did, because it taught me alot, and I got through it because i made myself get through it, I wasnt letting myself be depressed anymore.

Thats like when a guy tells a girl shes beautiful, and she keeps saying "No I'm not im not beautiful, Im not attractive", so whatever you tell yourself, thats what your gonna believe, so the girl who kept saying that believed it because thats what she kept telling herself. What Im saying is you dont need a man or a women or anyone else to tell you something to believe it, you need to tell yourself to believe it. Thats what i use to do, I use to hear negative things, so I would believe it, cuz i would say "well this person called me ugly so I'm ugly", and I would believe it, but what I needed to do, and I do now is the opposite, well not that anyone says that now, but you know what i mean.
Trust your own Intution, and believe the positives about yourself, and that is what truely matters.

So when your heart is broken. Dont sit there and say I just got my heart broken, im never gonna heal, Im gonna be down forever. Say to yourself, Im going to get through this, im a strong person and im a good person and I derserve to be happy, and I derserve to get through this cuz I am worth it. Thats what you gotta keep reminding yourself, and you'll believe it, and you'll feel better. Trust me I lived and learned all this myself, and I realize I am WORTH IT.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 15
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/30/2010 7:23:29 AM
Time heals most wounds.

Bravo, though. Think about it: if someone has no qualms about hurting you, be it physically or emotionally, why toil over them? Also:

Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.

Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.

Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.

Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.

Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 16
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/30/2010 7:29:18 AM
I totally agree with that previous post.

Give yourself permission to let out your emotions, but than dont give yourself permission to do that for long, after you've let it out. focus on healing, and start telling yourself that your giving yourself permission to heal.
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 17
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/30/2010 12:23:17 PM
Exactly.

How can you let someone else like/love you if you cant like/love yourself first? it takes finding happiness within yourself first, to be able to find it within someone else. It shouldnt even be about if somebody else can make you happy or not, its about you being able to be happy with yourself no matter what.
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 18
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 3/30/2010 3:08:55 PM
Very well said, and I totally agree.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 19
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/10/2010 12:21:32 AM

Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.

Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.


yes...i feel the need to be heard like you say.
and i was foolish and made tons of texts to him...
because he would not let me speak how i felt and have closure.
but i dont feel embarrassed about it because i needed to be heard.
now..its time for me to stop.

lil meggie: thankyou for sharing your ideas.
seems like there are so many posts on breakups.
we are not alone.
and we will hopefully grow through our experiences.
and also...i want to be optimistic and say that i hope the next time is the relationship we find that will be the lasting one.
if we each learn from what happened it is possible.
 shomesomethin
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 20
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/10/2010 7:21:57 AM
That's vey touching little meggie, however at 24, you don't yet have a clue as to what love really is... so get back to us ina bout 10-20 years, after you have some life experience under your belt.
Then you may be qualified to talk about a broken heart.

 TheJoeMan
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 21
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/11/2010 12:18:34 AM
stop crying and just drink hot glue, jesus
 billa101
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 22
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HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/11/2010 7:18:02 AM
thanx for your original post, i took alot of things from it.......
 LiL Meggie
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 23
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:26:08 AM
That's vey touching little meggie, however at 24, you don't yet have a clue as to what love really is... so get back to us ina bout 10-20 years, after you have some life experience under your belt.
Then you may be qualified to talk about a broken heart.


In regards to that statement. I think thats wrong.

I've expereinced alot for someone my age, just because Im 24 doesnt mean I dont have a clue. I actually have a pretty good clue. You dont have to hit a certain age to know what any of this feels like, or expereince it, it can happen to anyone. I have learned alot in my lifetime so far, and I think thats because I've been through so much, so obviously I know what it feels like if I went through it, and healed from it. but thank you for your opinion.
 Profile-Writer
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 24
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/13/2010 4:17:34 PM
My EX (of 24years) recently left me. What you and some of the others wrote here was very, very helpful to me.!. !. !

I printed it to read off line. I recomended it to my POF friends and they thanked me.

Sooo, beautiful young lady - - - thank you, for your helpful advice.

 JeffreyRamone
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 25
HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART.
Posted: 4/15/2010 10:32:33 PM
Fear not Lil Meggie, some of us were able to grasp the concept of your post and though it to be well informed and as stated previously, with good intentions.

What I don't understand is how someone can make a blanket statement about how you musn't know anything about having a broken heart because you're twenty-fricken'-four. I love how someone who has never met you, never walked a mile in your shoes, seen things through your eyes, and make such a statement.

Gee, well, if that's the case, I have good news for you. You've never had a broken heart! Congrats! That pain you might have been feeling, well, turns out it wasn't anything, it was just in your head. Imaginary. Because nobody under 30 is apparently able to have their heart broken.... in fact, I don't even think you're allowed to have a heart until you're AARP eligible.

Jeeze, just take the post as-is.

Being in a small town wouldn't make it impossible to get over a mental barrier, but I can see how it might make it more difficult. I don't live in a small town, and when I was going through some tough times, a doctor I was seeing actually suggested to me I move to a po dunk town in the mid west where nobody knows who I am, and set up shop where all the boys were the same. Like I'd have some sort of novelty appeal because I was foreign to the area.

No way did I take that advice! -Jeffrey
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