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 jamboree19999
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someonePage 1 of 1    
this is an open question to the females. I mean, over half of relationships involve somebody cheating, so i am assuming that people do keep their options open and flirt with other people while they are in a relationship.

Ladies, do you keep your options open when exclusively with someone? please be honest. Do you talk to other guys on the phone / go out to bars and give your number.

i would appreciate honest responses.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 2
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:17:44 PM
Exclusivity is commitment. No, I would not keep my options open, if I had a partner that I was exclusive with.
 Sola.Gratia
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 3
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:21:10 PM
I've never understood the concept. I believe in the two-second rule. If you meet someone new... innocently even, and they begin to flirt with you... if in two-seconds you do not mention your significant other or having one, you are either not that into them or keeping your options "open"... wherefore you have a responsibility to be honest with yourself before any "cheating" occurs.

I have, in my lifetime, met someone new that instantly took my breath away -- despite being with someone else at the time, but I did say I was with someone whom I then proceeded to break up with without ever knowing if I had a chance with this new person because quite simply... if I do not like them enough in a way that no one takes my breath but them... we're doomed anyway.

I have other male friends but I have always been honest with them regarding my intentions and have never cheated. So no. Exclusively dating someone means I want us to have a chance at a lifetime together. That we got past the initial stages of getting to know one another and dating already.
 Motherofthebride
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:25:56 PM
Keeping your options open means you are not being exclusive, so how can you possibly expect honest responses to a question like that!
 jamboree19999
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 5
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:27:59 PM
some people are exclusive, and keep their options a secret. A lot of females do this, you'd be surprised.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 6
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:35:00 PM

some people are exclusive, and keep their options a secret.


I guess these people would be part of your made up 50% that are cheating then.

So...what's your point?

Here's one of my made up studies.

99% of people with no morals, integrity or respect....jump off bridges.

Need directions?
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 7
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:39:43 PM
Exclusivity is by definition not keeping your options open. Doh.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 8
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:40:30 PM
There's an inherent contradiction and lack of logic in your question. If you're keeping your options open, then you're obviously not exclusive. Conversely, if you're exclusive then your so called options are closed. In other words, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
 jamboree19999
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 9
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:42:37 PM
i need to reword the question.
think about lets say married people. they should be exclusive. but many married people CHEAT, therefore they kept their options opened.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 10
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:47:51 PM
Debora's point still stands.


i need to reword the question.
think about lets say married people. they should be exclusive. but many married people CHEAT, therefore they kept their options opened


The only difference between a married person that "keeps their options open" and on that is "actively cheating" is that they haven't found someone that will "do" them...at that moment.

Willingness to cheat is cheating...even if you're not fvcking someone at the time. And "cheating" is not exclusive. Either is keeping your options open.
 Sola.Gratia
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 11
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:17:59 PM
I think what jamboree19999 means is to ask is how many women host the mentality that there might be something better out there and while "exclusively" with someone, they're still kind of holding their breath for someone better... or just someone else. The idea of being committed does not always mean you think you've found the "one". It might just mean you'd rather be with than without... for now.

It's not a matter of defining "exclusive" -- more a matter of does it really exist?

While i despise it, it is obvious some people want to have their cake and eat it too.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:19:37 PM
Only an azzhat would do that IMO. And, yes, you are making an assumption that people (women) keep their options open. You have that confused with someone who has no moral compass.
My body language etc changes completely when I'm in an exclusive relationship, and if the guy doesn't get it or he chooses not to, he will hear a few words about my being in a committed relationship and thats it. That simple.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 13
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:27:53 PM

but many married people CHEAT, therefore they kept their options opened.

It's not quite that simple. I don't believe most married people who cheat set out to do so. They're not keeping their options open, it's just that an opportunity comes along and they don't pass it up. It's sort of like the casual drug user who isn't looking to score pot or coke and might not do either for years but then someone lays a joint or line in front of them and they imbibe. A married guy might have every intent on remaining faithful but if Angelina Jolie shows up and grabs his face to kiss him, I think many men would have a hard time pushing her away.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 14
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:29:34 PM

Ladies, do you keep your options open when exclusively with someone? please be honest.


I'm going to assume that established, platonic friendships don't count in this question. So I'm going to answer as if there is romantic interest in the other party.


Do you talk to other guys on the phone...


Nope.


...go out to bars...


Of course I do, I don't understand what this has to do with an exclusive relationship.


...and give your number.


Nope.
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 15
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:01:31 PM

Ladies, do you keep your options open when exclusively with someone? please be honest. Do you talk to other guys on the phone / go out to bars and give your number.


In an exclusive relationship? Nope.

Sadly, though, I know of people who have done this. I wouldn't call it "keeping options open". I'd call it having one foot out the door. This is done by people who don't have the guts to end a failing relationship. They just line up the next person and jump straight from one to the other.
 Nerdhead26
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 16
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:47:22 PM

this is an open question to the females. I mean, over half of relationships involve somebody cheating, so i am assuming that people do keep their options open and flirt with other people while they are in a relationship.


That's a lot more common with the younger crowd. some of them just want to party and sleep around.
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 17
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 9:17:34 PM

Ladies, do you keep your options open when exclusively with someone?

No absolutely not!!!! I wouldn't be in the commited relationship if I didn't want to be with that person.

The whole singles thing of networking is a pain a lot of the time. Why if we are in a commited relationship would any sane person want to go through that.
 24DegreeAngel
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 18
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 9:36:55 PM
I don't think I ever did it on purpose but with my last boyfriend if you listened to how I spoke about him you would have heard things like: "Well, he's pretty cool but it's not really a forever thing" and although we were committed I shouldn't have committed... it was just a momentary lapse of better judgement because we'd been dating a long time and I hadn't found anything wrong with him and he eventually talked me into exclusivity. I was never really invested but was trying the best I could which isn't much of a base in reality.

I wasn't looking/keeping the options open per say... I was 90% ready to end things and I was out with my bf but we were mingling separate and I did meet someone I had more attraction to than I did my bf in the whole relationship combined (which wasn't really long mind you) ... but I even introduced them that night so it wasn't shady and didn't give him my number. What it ended up being was just the kick in the pants needed to upgrade my decision to a 100% positive decision to end things. After ending things I had our mutual friend go in to see if he was into me (since we really weren't flirting I just was really into him) and did set us up. Sooo yes I did meet a guy I would later date for some time while in a relationship with someone else... but I didn't really violate the rules I don't think.
 account deleted
Joined: 1/28/2010
Msg: 19
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 9:46:10 PM


think about lets say married people. they should be exclusive. but many married people CHEAT, therefore they kept their options opened.
So your target audience was a married women/men who cheated or who would? Good luck with finding a person who was once married stuipd enough to admit that one on the www.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 20
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do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/29/2010 10:59:42 PM

some people are exclusive, and keep their options a secret. A lot of females do this, you'd be surprised.


Pssst.... wanna know a secret?
* looks cautiously around to be sure we are not overheard *
A lot of men do it too. You'd be surprised.

Anyone keeping their options open is not being exclusive.
 cloudcrimper
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 21
do you keep your options open when you are exclusively with someone
Posted: 3/30/2010 6:10:01 AM
I do not make a habit of looking for someone if I am "exclusively " with someone, and this is something that would have been discussed with said person.
This does not stop people coming to chat to you while out, but it means that I would say I am happily with someone and looking forward to heading home to them.
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