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 Babysweetheart
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 1
agreed to hang outPage 1 of 1    
sorry for my lack of experience. I asked my crush to hang out and he said yes. He emailed me back saying he would take a raincheck on my offer and when he's back (he was away for the weekend) we would go out for sure. I havent emailed him back yet and Im not sure what to do. I am not a desperate person but I dont want to appear that way to him and contact him again first..so my question is should I email him again and aknowledge what he says and just say whenever your ready or something? or do you think he will write to me when he wants to hang out? Im just not sure who should say something next since I never responded back to his email. thanks
 Rebluez
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 2
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 2:59:26 PM
I see nothing wrong with acknowledging his reply, but keep to it being that way and not jumping the gun on some long dissertation.

Also, be prepared to leave it at that until he actually does get back in town and gets in touch with you.


Bluez
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 3
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 3:00:04 PM
Take a deep breath and relax, you're in a tizzy.

If you're going to ask a guy out you need to be a little more like a guy. Have a plan, be direct and don't leave any room for misinterpretation. None of this wishy-washy hangout stuff.

He knows you like him, but you've muddied it by saying you just want to "hang out". That's not really honest, you want to date him, not hang out. Tell him so.

If he's not into it, then postponing things wont make a difference. You'll have to get used to facing rejection, men deal with it all the time and it doesnt kill them, so its not going to hurt you either.

He must be pretty special if youre this gaga over him. Good luck.
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 3:05:45 PM
i'd send him a note with something like 'contact me when you're back in town. friday nights are best for me to go out' (or whatever your schedule allows).

the ball is now officially in his court. do not sit in front of your computer waiting. do not count the hours and minutes until you think he must be back in town and in front of his computer, and then tick off the seconds in which the breathlessly awaited email has NOT arrived. go out and have fun with your dog and your friends, crack a beer, flirt with guys, and generally live your life like it's yours to live.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 5
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 3:30:02 PM

i'd send him a note with something like 'contact me when you're back in town. friday nights are best for me to go out' (or whatever your schedule allows).


What David said....

Leave it casual....throw the ball in his court....let it be!

But for god's sakes...whatever you do....do not message him when you think he has returned asking why he hasn't contacted you (if he doesn't).

Nothing comes off as more desperate than someone demanding an explanation for no correspondance.....especially at the beginning.

Have fun....good luck!!
 Sun_Devil_92
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 6
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 4:26:38 PM
I agree with Iconoclast on this one.

Frankly, in a guy's perspective, I don't see the fire. You have given him the impression that you just want to hang out with him. If he has a free night in the future, I'm sure that he'll give you a call to hang out. However, if he comes along a woman that he thinks is hot, be prepared that he's not going to call to "hang out"; he's going out on a date with her.

If you want to win, then you have to play. Ask him out - tell him that you want to date. Yes, it is heartbreaking when a crush turns you down, but I'm thinking that the fall is going to be harder if while you think things are going great "hanging out" he suddenly comes up to you and says, "I found the woman of my dreams," ... and it isn't you.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
History
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 4:33:32 PM
I think this "hang out" thing is ridiculous, very wishy washy, too casual, and actually invites another person to take you for granted. You want to be treated as a special woman by this man. So I would suggest you eliminate the term "hang out" from your vocabulary. Good luck!
 Babysweetheart
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 8
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 5:45:02 PM
thank you, if it makes any difference I didnt say the word 'hangout' , he helped me with a project and I asked if I could take him for icecream for helping me..not sure if that makes a difference and he is aware of my feelings . It was also my birthday recently and took the time to wish me a happy birthday as well.
 Sun_Devil_92
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 9
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 6:36:12 PM
OP, in describing the situation, you used the words "hang out" in your original post. And actually your clarification reinforces that his actions have nothing to do with dating.

1) For all he knows, taking him out for ice cream just means you wish to pay him back for helping another time. I see no romantic connection/connotation there or reason for him to believe otherwise.

2) As for remembering your birthday, it shows that he is considerate of others, not necessarily any romantic interest in you.

3) If he is aware of your feelings, he is probably disappointed that you're not willing to act out on them and ask him out. It shows a complete lack of confidence in yourself, and if he was thinking about dating you before, it is something that makes a guy think twice since to many guys it is a turn-off.
 TakingChances2010
Joined: 4/9/2010
Msg: 10
same crush..agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 7:56:09 PM
Eeh; ignore the naysayers; I applaud you for taking a chance. Good for you! Hope it works out!
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 11
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 8:56:02 PM
OP... I don't see anything wrong with a quick email back letting him know sure it would be fun when his and your scedule connects.

That to me isn't c oming across needy or desperate.
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 12
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History
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/28/2010 11:07:17 PM
Simple - email him back and tell him you'll call him when he gets back. Then call him. Nothing desperate about it, it's called keeping on top of your busy life (you do have one outside of this guy right?).

Suggested wording:

OK, enjoy the weekend, how 'bout I call you Tuesday and we'll figure something out?
 tarotdream
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 13
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History
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/29/2010 12:36:42 AM
Attraction is ABOUT being in a tizzy.

1) "Thanks for letting me know you're out of town."
2) "I've got to have some (coffee, ice cream, doughnuts). I'm thinking about Tuesday, but if you're free some other evening, it'd be fun if you could come along."

This, to me, keeps everything light.
You really DO appreciate he called to cancel and he'll like that you noticed.
You have a plan, but it's pretty vague so it would be easier for him if he has another idea.
You're going to go whether or not he goes, so less pressure on him.
You're telling him you like his company.
You're showing you're flexible.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 14
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History
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/29/2010 5:44:54 AM
Email him back and tell him you understand and you'll email him when he gets back to setup another time. The object is to keep the ball in your court.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 15
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/29/2010 6:46:53 AM
OP- just shoot a note back..."ok cool...call me when you get back in town"

then leave it alone.

let him do everything from there.

IF after that, he does not contact you- and then you start contacting him, then you'll come across as a bit more desparate...
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 16
agreed to hang out
Posted: 4/29/2010 7:17:40 AM
I kind of, sort of, maybe have to (possibly) disagree about the hang out stuff! Wishy washy??? lol

I think it really depends on the circumstances. If you know someone already and want to determine if maybe there is romantic possibility and interest, then spend more time together (hanging out). A really good way to better get to know someone, without the pressure of a date or the blindness that a sexual relationship early on can cause!

If it's someone that you only occasionally see and don't know very well, then YES, go for the date. Definite time and place! Then it's a yay or nay for determining that persons interest in you.

Sorry, but I do sense that the target of the OPs interest is not that interested.
 Elgalawaat
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
History
agreed to hang out
Posted: 5/1/2010 1:03:40 AM
Why do you complicate simple things. Just Email him.
 isnuttinfree
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 18
agreed to hang out
Posted: 5/8/2010 6:01:09 PM

so my question is should I email him again and aknowledge what he says and just say whenever your ready or something?

It's so straightforward, you answered your own question. How hard need this be?
Not a troll post is it?
 LetsShuffle
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 19
agreed to hang out
Posted: 5/8/2010 6:17:51 PM
He will hit you up. Raise your value a bit; dont message.
 LittlestIndian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 20
agreed to hang out
Posted: 5/9/2010 6:46:18 PM
People have the worst ways of screwing up! He said "yes" to be nice and EMAILED you to back down, knowing full well that it was a way of bowing out gracefully without having to look at how disappointed you were. Don't email him. He did say when he "returned" that you both would date for sure (eyeroll). Surely, he would know to call, I mean, how else would you know when he got back? That is, if he truly wants you to know when he does get back.

Just saying.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 21
agreed to hang out
Posted: 5/9/2010 9:07:18 PM
I agree with David. The ball is in his court. No worries- he either has interest or not in pursuing dating etc with you.
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