| | Competiveness in males evolving?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | A shocking conversation with a female friend who has a farm with a variety of animals got me thinking today.
I am aware the male species in the animal kingdom are often brighter in color than the females. They strut and make noise to attract mates. They also are known to get aggressive with other males to the point of killing them.The strong and more aggressive/protective/showy prevails in that world .
She recently acquired Llamas and told me today that you cannot have 2 males with in biting distance of each other. I thought she meant they hurt each other and would (bite as in fight) a male to warn him away from the females and also to protect them.
She said they will castrate the other male. Literally chew his testicles off. I thought she was joking. She said you can't even have them PINNED in with a fence where they can get their mouths through the fence posts.
I know men often buy bigger more expensive cars, boats and houses to attract the female although they claim to hate "gold diggers".
My question is..
Do men and women think " male competition" or the quest for a good mate has gone by the wayside other than the acquisition of things more or less ?
Generally speaking of course.
I do realize a whole other thread comparing women to the animal kingdom can be started, but this is about men.
I am still in shock over those sweet Llamas doing that ..* ouch* | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 2:56:20 PM | | I think there are those men who think of attracting a compatible (or desirable...) female as competition with other males. That does seem more like high school, some men do evolve, some don't. At whatever age, I think those that have that mindset are also those that objectify women and relationships as something to "have". Some people compensate for their feelings of inadequacies or insecurities by having "things" in hopes of attracting attention and/or respect. In other words, not a good person for a potential partnership IMO. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:00:05 PM | Geez, I've heard guys complain about their exes having them by the balls, but man - they've got nothing on llamas...
I think to a large degree that the things men acquire are symbols of their ability to provide... not to say we need them, but it is how they perceive them. They (stuff) signify success to many. Women tend to go for more personal items, but for those to whom "things" matter, I can see why the cycle continues... I use to say it took little to make me happy - a good book, a sunny day and a decent cup of coffee... I can see now why I'd like that book, coffee and sun somewhere in the South of France. Just doesn't have to be a man who provides it to me... unless it's a hot pool boy or waiter.
I feel sorry for men. Life was probably easier when they could just go out and hunt whatever moved that they could drag home... Look honey - a T-rex... ain't I da man! Mind you, men probably lament the days gone by when women came with doweries. Society has pretty well neutered men in that obvious chest thumping and fights over damsels are discouraged... what's left? | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:00:54 PM |
Do men and women think " male competition" or the quest for a good mate has gone by the wayside other than the acquisition of things more or less ?
Personally, i think it is the same as it's been since man and woman walked the earth. Nothing to me has evolved or devolved when looking at the big picture. I will say this it's probably just not as violent. Alot of men used to kill other men over Women. Some still do. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:01:27 PM | Oh babe, I've always dreamed of two hunks fighting a duel over me. The dream never actually got to the part of one dying, but hey...I could deal with that...
I've always been involved with wussy guys who are fairly secure. If they saw another guy checking me out, they'd think "he he, she's mine". If - for the purposes of this discussion - I wanted to leave one for another, they'd wave me goodbye and drag out their little black book.
Why am I only interested in evolved men? Bring back the cave man, dude!
PS: Llamas the bad-tempered result of a wild orgy between a donkey, a sheep and a large dog. And they piss on you before they bite your balls off. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:17:24 PM | I just had a flashback of that movie, "Someone Like You" when the star compares men to cows.. 
Honestly, male competitiveness is alive and well. Just read some the post on these forums closely and you can see it happening with words instead of violence or money.
Personally, I don't know any guy who uses money itself to attract women. If you think about it, most guys, at least the ones that I know are very conservative. Yea, they may buy the Corvette but it really is something for them not the women they pursue. Now, it could be argued that women get breast implants for themselves and not the men they pursue but I'm not sure that's a good comparison because the guy isn't changing himself physically.
Does it work? Yes, on younger women it does like a charm. About 10 years ago, I bought my first brand new car. It wasn't a Corvette or a Ferrari, just a foreign, sporty, pony car but a new model style. I go to the package store to get beers and when I come out there are three or four kids (18 - 20 year old) ogling the car. The girl ask me if it's mine and questions me about it. I know it's not me, it's the car so it does work. It would be nice if I pulled up in an SUV and some great looking late 30 to 40 year old was out there chatting me up on it but, lets face it, ain't gonna happen.
As far as violence, yea it still happens even at my age. You'd think men would have figured out it isn't worth it but some are hard learners. Instant idiot just add alcohol...
It's taught to us as we are growing up. In every teen movie, some guy gets into a fight over a girl that is with the bully in the band new car. Go figure...  | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:50:46 PM | I don't want to chew a fellow man's balls off but yeah there's a lot of competition.
Like if I see some dude over at the dumbbell rack struggling with 30lb weights I'll go walk up right next to
him and grab some 45lb weights and start pumpin' them out. This is my totally pathetic and passive agressive
way of exerting my dominance over him.
If course if he gets into a BMW 6 series and blows my Honda's doors he's evened things up. It really sucks being a guy
sometimes (like 1%, the rest of the 99% is cherry) | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:56:51 PM | i don't understand the question. are you asking if men no longer compete with each other for the best women, but instead compete with each other to own the best houses/cars/etc.?
i don't think i do on any count. i certainly don't buy into the idea of status as a function of possessions. i'm scruffy and low-rent, though i do have some expensive and thoroughly b|tchen african drums.
and as far as competing with other men for women, it's mostly a counterproductive idea. the things i believe make me attractive are either mostly unchangeable (like personality) or things that i do for my own sake (like trying to acquire wisdom, and staying in physical shape). since i don't value directly competitive tokens like physical dominance of other men, or indirect tokens like expensive possessions, i'm not attracted to women who value those things. so it all works out.
a lot of men in our society already feel like life has bitten their nutsack off. i'm not here to add to the problem. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 4:12:13 PM | "They strut and make noise to attract mates. " - think about this the next time you are in a dance club/bar, spot on
"I know men often buy bigger more expensive cars, boats and houses to attract the female although they claim to hate "gold diggers"." - I decided to see who my competition was on this site, so I looked at some male profiles.....shirts off, showing the cars, boats, toys, pretty funny, true dumbell caveman style, probably works for some....
Do men and women think " male competition" or the quest for a good mate has gone by the wayside other than the acquisition of things more or less ? - yes and no, for the caveman yes....the smarter hunter doesn't compete, while all the boneheads are fighting for 20% of the catch, the smart hunter is elsewhere getting 100% unimpeded.... | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 4:14:23 PM | | if you want a man who is going to fight for you,its best to stay away from men who trying to attract many women and look for those who are concerned with allowing who they are to be the attraction for one woman.this man will be humble,kind,subtle and most of all compassionate. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:14:15 PM | Humans,both men and women, are competitive. This is not anything new. I don't think we have to worry about men trying to bite off each others testicles however.
I have horrible and funny images in my head now lol! | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:16:53 PM | candid and
bucsgirl..good points..
PS: Llamas the bad-tempered result of a wild orgy between a donkey, a sheep and a large dog. And they piss on you before they bite your balls off.
My lovely friend FFS..WHT do you Know that?
It would be nice if I pulled up in an SUV and some great looking late 30 to 40 year old was out there chatting me up on it but, lets face it, ain't gonna happen.
Yes it will..Hey what about 50?
I am sorry Peppermints, I cannot be your boyfriend, cuz some Llama bit my balls off. I am sure YOURS will grow back Brad.
i don't understand the question. are you asking if men no longer compete with each other for the best women, but instead compete with each other to own the best houses/cars/etc.?
No, more if men have stopped what I think are natural tendencies to "strut" something other than material possessions.
humble,kind,subtle and most of all compassionate.
I agree.. But I do like a natural protective instinct..to feel safe in all matters, esp of the heart. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:17:17 PM |
a lot of men in our society already feel like life has bitten their nutsack off. i'm not here to add to the problem.
Well said and ditto.
I don't see other guys as competition. They could be my brother, my neighbor, my friend. Instead, my focus is on compatibility.
And I'm not interested in any woman that expects me to bite the nuts off competing males. Homey don't play dat. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:20:42 PM |
I agree.. But I do like a natural protective instinct..to feel safe in all matters, esp of the heart.
Protecting is a different thing. Threaten those dear to me and I'll rip your head off, sh1t down your throat, and make you send me a Christmas card.
Just sayin. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:49:24 PM | OP, actually your subject strikes a chord for me ...
Most of my life, I have been competitive, and I was competing against all of the other men in my family.
My grandfather (my namesake) was a patented mechanical engineer for Eastman Kodak.
My father held a Masters degree in Physics and was sharp as a tack.
Last and not least, my younger brother is also sharp engineer with a genius IQ.
We tried to castrate each other through our intelligence, profession, and education. What happened? After 38 years, I "tied" some and "beat" others. I got my patent. (Gee, that wasn't so hard, grandpa!) I got my Masters degree. (Gee, that wasn't so hard dad!) I "knew" more than my brother in certain fields.
What happened? Nothing. But wait, I beat them at their own game, right? I'm the victor! Well reaching the top of the hill wasn't as "rewarding" as one would expect, for you realize all of this time you competing against yourself.
Now a new feeling overcomes me: pride in others. I'm proud of the fact that my brother makes *much* more money than I do. I'm proud that my brother has a beautiful daughter; my niece. I'm proud of the time that I spent with my grandfather and my dad, and miss them terribly for I'll never see them again. I'm proud of the fact that they helped make me the man I am today.
I hope they are proud of me.
I don't compete against other guys for the attention of women. If a woman is interested in me and would like to know me more, I'd love to get to know her if the feeling is mutual. If she feels that another guy is a better match, I wish them the greatest of happiness from the bottom of my heart. And I hope a women never becomes interested in me because of my material possession, because fortunes can always change; and when I lose them, where do you expect she'll go ...
Maybe that answers your question, and maybe not - but that is what comes to mind when I think of competition. edit: To me, I think we as guys "evolve" over time ... we grow wiser as we grow older. Personally I don't think that there is an attribute in society where guys are "wiser" in general at a younger age now than previously - we always will compete until we learn over time although the method of competitions may change. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 6:21:35 PM |
if men have stopped what I think are natural tendencies to "strut" something other than material possessions
What specific behaviours are you thinking of that human males used to exhibit that they don't anymore?
As far as physical competitiveness, all I can think of is sports, which I suppose have evolved to be more regulated and formalized, but still participated in. Ok, so not all contemporary men participate in sports. Maybe that's partly what you're talking about? | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 6:39:45 PM | I agree with Sun Devil on how he feels now about competitiveness. Leave that to the young studs. Most women prefer the maturity that comes with confidence. I want someone that is there for the long haul, good times and bad times, thick and thin, sickness and in health - I want character. Some have laughed about possessions, we all have possessions - shoes, jewelry, furniture, etc., we also have possessions that show what they are interested in and do for hobbies/entertainment - boats, motorcycles, camping gear, skis, and so on. So what.
I don't want a man to compete for me, I don't want to compete for him. If I'm interested in him I will chat with him and if he is interested in me I hope he approaches me and says the first hello. Dating shouldn't be like the Super Bowl, hitting, bashing, faking, sudden death.....really.
I like men, I enjoy their company, I think they are wonderful. I don't need a cave man - just a nice glass of red wine and good conversation followed by some shared laughter. | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 6:53:40 PM | I don't see other guys as competition.
You may not see it that way, but you compete, nevertheless. When you ask a woman out, exactly why would you expect her to choose to go out with you unless you offer her something that someone else doesn't offer her?
As far as physical competitiveness, all I can think of is sports,
Competition doesn't necessarily mean physical competition. You compete with other guys in all sorts of ways - or if you don't - you don't get many dates..
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 7:00:44 PM |
You may not see it that way, but you compete, nevertheless. When you ask a woman out, exactly why would you expect her to choose to go out with you unless you offer her something that someone else doesn't offer her?
Perhaps true...but I'm still not gonna bite their nuts off! :) | |
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 7:01:46 PM | SWEET BABY JESUS ON ROLLER SKATES. Llamas are f*ed up!
I work with 11 other salespeople, all men. I work in a mad competitive field. The young unmarried guys have their lists of things to do:
1. Make Sales Goal.
2. Collect Huge Bonus.
3. Find hot girl to take on bonus cruise, all expenses paid for by the company.
4. Buy fancy car with bonus
5.Rub everyone's nose in their success.In a fun and joking way ( or douche bag of the year way, all depends on how you see it)
The young bucks would push their own Mother's into the path of a speeding train if it meant closing a deal. The rest of us know we can make the deal without the chest pounding and frantic energy they young guys seem to need. They egg each other on, talk smack to each other and I have witnessed honest to goodness chest bumping in the office with the boys. They brag about how many miles they ran, mountain biked or swan over the weekend. They chatter about how many numbers from hot girls they got at clubs. They have the energy and that's how they burn it up.
They spend the same energy talking about women as the do the deals and the gym. They also expect to date women who are bringing just as much to the table as they are. They might flirt with the waitress but they take out the mortgage brokers, accountants, lawyers and stock brokers who work in the same office building we do. They might go out with the hottie from the club a couple of times but they never get serious with them.
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| Competiveness in males evolving?
Posted: 5/3/2010 7:12:54 PM |
You may not see it that way, but you compete, nevertheless. When you ask a woman out, exactly why would you expect her to choose to go out with you unless you offer her something that someone else doesn't offer her?
Because she does already have plans for the evening. Or she thinks that we might be compatible. I'm not doing it so saying, "Man I hope that I can beat out guy x for a date."
To me, being compatible is not being better than another guy or besting another guy - it is more like being puzzle pieces that fit. It isn't like I am the best puzzle piece in the box - it is more to do with fitting with the puzzle piece that is meant for me. (And in turn that doesn't mean that I believe she quantitatively is the "greatest" woman in the world - just the one meant for me) | |
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