| | Middle age WanderlustPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Does, or has anyone had a deep desire to start over and wander as it were in their middle age? To sell it all, rove about with no set goal and see where it takes you? I have had the plan to set off before I hit 50, to do it before I no longer can and I know it has that “you must be crazy” connotation to it, but it also seems plausible.
I did this once when I was young, but I had a home base. Now that “home base” is no longer relevant, the career life bores me and after watching many becoming prisoners to their stuff, I desire out of the conventional mold. I know this flies in the face of all of the attachment to family, happy home and stable community oriented folks, but my question is, has anyone or does anyone know of those who have set off later in life and started over from scratch again? How did it work out and where did you/they end up?Is your stability called into question later on?
I have noticed a few social rebels in the over 45 forums so it seemed like a feasible topic. Hey, somebody has to be in the Peace Corps! | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:39:10 AM | I don't dream so much of being a stranger in a strange land. My dream revolves around retiring to some beautiful warm island, where living is cheap and the culture is interesting (interesting in a good way..lol..).
I'm over the career thing and don't give a toss about things. But I couldn't wander indefinitely. And I don't know anyone who does.
But if this is your dream, OP, go for it. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:51:04 AM | 50 is no limit. I have met people in their late 60s wandering the world. Probably good to keep a base some where, as while I have enjoyed wandering, I also enjoy coming home.
In a sense, one is always wandering through life. Its a journey, and the destination is only presumed, until you finally arrive. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 6:18:43 AM | | I've lived with it all my life. I expect it's because my ancestors were either nomadic American Indians or European immingrants who kept leaving where they were looking for something else. Once I became an adult, it began to hit hard about every 10 years, more or less. There were times the only things that kept me from being on the road were my children. Along the way I've also met a lot of retirees who lived and traveled as a way of life, from some with Airstream trailers to others who lived in pickups with deluxe campers to - much later - some in RVs. The closest thing to a home base any of them had was a mail drop with a family member, who would forward their mail to wherever they stayed long enough to get it. | |
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Posted: 5/4/2010 6:20:27 AM | I have the deep desire, but not the funds.
Back in the 60's-70's one could wander quite cheaply.
Have you checked the price of gas lately? !! One could easily spend $120 for ONE DAY of "wandering"!
If you wanted a shower/soft sleep, you could find fairly nice motel by the road for $15 a night. That's a laugh for 2010.
Also people were more personally friendly/helpful, in my opinion.
Have you seen how they have their noses stuck in phones/blackberries/whatevers now?
I don't think I would want to just become a traveling person without a home at this age.
Nor would I want to "start over from scratch".. which by definition means start from having nothing at all.
Those 2 sentences define a hobo.. or a traveling bum.
That's the way the OP described it.. so that is what I'm responding to... "starting over from scratch".
Nooooooooo thank you.
Not as easy to hitch hike like it used to be!!
People don't trust like back in the 60's-70's, and who can blame them.
BUT.. if I had the funds to keep putting gas in a small camper, I most certainly would consider wandering the country to see where I ended up.
At the same time... no way would I just turn my back on my family. I rasied some wonderful human beings and I love them.
The thing is... we remember how it used to be.
We had a younger body, people were more people oriented and friendly, everything was MUCH cheaper, the back roads much safer, stopping for a job here and there much easier to find.... etc.
I think being a hobo in 2010... in an "over 45" body would pretty much be a drag. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 6:27:14 AM | Can't say that I have; I'm too attached to at least a minimum security base. I've been purposely downsizing for several years but I could never sell everything and just head into the sunset. Best I could do is put the residual into storage while I wander. But I think keeping that core of my current/past life would defeat the purpose of the wandering you propose.
That said, I've always had a dream to head into the wilderness for some length of time as a survival challenge. But not to 'find myself' or the meaning of life. I think I already know the meaning of life, living it is the challenge.
Would I think such a walker is nuts? No. Time to think, see the landscape, meet new people of all sorts, navigate unimagined challenges, watch a sunrise on the Atlantic and sunset on the Pacific, and finally fall into sleep exhausted by physical exertion instead of fear or anxiety? I think could admire someone who chose that over a daily grind.
Peace to you OP *edit/correction fishie | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 7:06:47 AM | I had a confusing conversation with a friend about two weeks ago, primarily because of a short distraction at my end. Anyway, I completely misunderstood just who she was talking about, and when I rejoined the conversation...my friend was in the process of relating:
"so they've just left for Europe"....
"they're storing all their furniture in my basement"...
"they both just quit their jobs"..
"they both felt that they just needed to do this..."
It all seemed so bizarre to me...
While I'm listening to this...I'm dizzy thinking...how the heck could Max and Carol simply just decide one day to do this? To quit their their government jobs? To give up their home? To change cities just like that???
That's when my friend chimed in with...
"What government jobs?" Ahh clarity.
She then proceeded to explain that it was her 26 year old daughter and fiance that had done all this...that had chucked their Toronto life as they knew it...and went off to do some 'sploring in Europe. Of course clarity and context is everything (almost) and that made sense (somewhat - even given the economic climate) because they're accomplished, educated and have a base (mom/dad x 2) to fall back on...It also makes sense because they want kids soon.
I don't think wanderlust or restlessness dies. It just ages along with the rest of us, rattling around...never quite satisfied...never really going away...it just settles back temporarily. I don't think though that it can be in middle age the exact same stuff that fires one up when we're much younger---you know the kind of stuff that makes you able to sleep/travel and tolerate much less-than-perfect situations for the sake of adventure.
If it's still alive and kicking in you, I think you need to pay homage to it and bring it to the fore, while relegating the more practical realities and considerations to the back seat for a time. Whatever the idea is that you're holding on to may need some adjustment, a kind of reality check, because it may not be easy for you to wantonly 'chuck it all' when all that you might really need now is some significant time away...to taste, feel and live in a new way---not to divest fully, and to not to permanently dissolve one's base and security. A decades old passion that you've been hanging on to doesn't have to be seen as flighty or folly if tempered a bit your acquired middle-age wisdom.
Op...thanks for contributing a great topic for this forum. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 7:53:24 AM |
has anyone had a deep desire to start over and wander as it were in their middle age?
Op,i have no doubt you'll get a lot of support here from people who've done it,or dream about it,but *I* personally can think of nothing worse,LOL!!
Im so happy in my life right now.
I have stability,a gorgeous house (roof over my head)and im as happy as a pig in mud.
If i felt unfullfilled or that i was "missing out" on something,i could identify more with where you're coming from.
Follow your dreams,Op,before ya get too old :)
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 8:57:39 AM | | I picked up a hitchhiker/troubador last year near Cooperstown. He had only a small backpack and a guitar and was probably in his 50's, bute was pretty rough around the edges from lack of dentistry and medical care. We chatted about his wanderings, life on the road, his love of music and reliance on the kindness of strangers. When I dropped him off at his destination, a grocery store, where he would sing and play for donations, he offered me a song for my kindness to him. I agreed and was dumfounded when his song was beautiful...pure heart from the soul. I was left wondering about where our security lies and all the rest. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 9:18:29 AM | Recreational Vehicles have grown steadily in size and features due to folks who think as you do. That's for the ones who have alternate incomes, more than the kind of striking out for the great unknown you are talking about, but I think they have the same kind of feelings. I have fantasized about starting a business where I have a special built RV with huge picture windows in it, to drive OTHER people around the countryside, who perhaps can no longer themselves do the driving, but still want wander.
That's as close as I can come. As for your question "Is your stability called into question later on?" that's easy: if you fall into a pit and die, or end up on the public dole in some town, then yes. If you succeed and have a great time, then, why no, of course. Now if you intend to perform your "walkabout," and then expect to return to your present job again afterward, that's different. It would be the job equivalent of telling your wife that you're off to sow some wild oats with some wild biker chicks, and expect your wife to take you back when you return. If your profession is one that relies on reputation, you'll REALLY have to start all over after you get back. If you are in something like contracting, probably no one will even notice you were gone. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 10:06:52 AM | "Does, or has anyone had a deep desire to start over and wander as it were in their middle age?"
I have been travelling to foreign shores for over 11 years now, and the during of my visits will increase as I age. I intend to live and do everything I want to do before I die. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 2:35:38 PM | | i will do it when i'm old enuf to have medicare and am retired...who can afford to give up medical insurance and a job? i like those tiny houses made by the tumbleweed tiny house company- i can see me wandering around as an old'un in one of those... | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 3:13:52 PM | | When I am 65, I will have my pension, medical insurance as long as I don't leave the country for more than 6 months. So I will have 6 months wondering around my own country, then 6 months to wonder the rest of the world. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:18:24 PM | I've never had a lot of "wanderlust" ... having spent my childhood with a father who had more wanderlust than I liked ... (mein vater var ein wandersmann!)
but had occasion to do some traveling last month at the request of my daughter ...
and have to admit it WAS fun! I LOVED seeing the countryside from window seats as I flew from California to Connecticut by way of Michigan ... then from Connecticut back to California with what was supposed to have been a 2-hour lay-over in Georgia that turned into a 10-minute sprint between gates! all done during the daylight hours so I could see the country from 39,000 feet!
met two lovely women and a beautiful man ... enjoyed their charming company across part of the USA ... didn't even share names because it was obvious nothing would come from getting to know them better as our lives are too different ... just a light touch and nothing more ...
now if only I could afford to travel a little more often! | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:47:43 PM |
Does, or has anyone had a deep desire to start over and wander as it were in their middle age?
^^E V E R Y D A Y !! ^^^
Once the kids are actually OUT of the house...I think I will look into "house swapping" with other people around the world. I know people who have done this and they say it is the best way to travel and experience different cultures.
It also helps that I happen to live in the 3rd most beautiful city in the world, so I'm sure there won't be a lack of willing volunteers.
ps.
FFS I haven't been to Australia yet!! Wanna swap beaches? | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 6:46:42 PM | i've always been a wanderer...and a wonderer...
to me travel is always exciting...
both here in australia as well as overseas...
the promise of something new every day, whether it be cuisine, places, people...
love it!...
i often look at my pics., taken in the various places i've visited and wonder at the beautiful places i've seen, the fun i've had and people i've met...
and how i've managed to survive some tricky situations...ha!
(extremely lucky i deduce)...
i thank my mum and dad for my inbuilt wanderlust...
when we were kids we were always "on the way to somewhere new" at every opportunity...
if i had unlimited funds, i'm sure i could wander indefinitely...
as long as home was always waiting... | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 7:07:20 PM | One of my best friends sold his home and pretty much everything in it....
bought a beautiful RV....and now just travels all over the US.
If there's a Blues Festival in Memphis, TN......he heads that way.
A Nascar race in California.......he heads that way!
Sometimes he only stays a few days......sometimes he stays a couple months.
He's made great friends all over in the last couple years.
I have considered doing the exact same thing......but with selling my Art along the way at different Festivals and Fairs. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 8:01:34 PM | Paul and I plan on getting an RV (a camper van) and take our time traveling throughout the U.S., Canada, Australia and Europe. We aren't sure whether we will start here in the States or in Oz but we are sure it WILL happen in the not-too-distant future. We are conscientiously working towards that goal. We just want to go when and where we decide at the moment... no schedules, no restrictions, no demands. Just live life to the fullest. We both have the wanderlust spirit and the desire to see new places and meet new people.
If you can, OP, you and your S/O should go for it! It's what you DON'T do that you regret in life. You don't want to be 75 and saying, "What if..." or "I wish we had...".
Edited: We do like having a home base though. In the States, it's with my son and daughter-in-law and in Oz it's our home. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/4/2010 8:06:13 PM | I don't dream so much of being a stranger in a strange land. My dream revolves around retiring to some beautiful warm island, where living is cheap and the culture is interesting (interesting in a good way..lol..).
I got culture. Interesting culture. Unordinary culture. And I'm cheap, too. Real cheap. Horribly cheap. Distressingly cheap. Mind-blowingly cheap.
I'll get the island. You just bring your bad self.
Happiness. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/5/2010 9:26:59 AM | No Wind-Stream for me, I want to leave my crap, not take it along with me with captain’s chairs, and surround sound stereo, DVD player, along with gas to worry about.
I learned a very valuable lesson that security is truly an illusion and after seeing so many of my peers poisoned by protection, I guess after loosing most of it anyway, why not? What do I really have to lose?
Maybe it’s my heritage and upbringing, but many of my relatives (including my parents) set off with a suitcase, knowing no one, not even speaking the language and made their own.
What would you be if you couldn’t point to your surroundings to validate your existence? I think I’ll go and find out. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/5/2010 11:10:27 AM | Sure, I think about it often.
Nothing is holding me down. Kid is grown, don't have to be in one place to make money.
I looked at the RVs 2 years ago. WOW!! $$$$$$$$$$$
After loosing 3 homes..1 to a hurricane, one I gave up in a split and my first due to financial reasons. I don't put a whole lot of my self into brick and wood anymore.
I would like to have a piece of land to park on to call my own though.
It's something I would love to do with a good friend or SO..not just my Basset.
The beauty and adventure of the world is better shared.. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/5/2010 11:22:43 AM | i find myself more about the internal adventure than the external. the world seems to present me with new and interesting hobbies/pursuits/perspectives every few years, and i don't have go anywhere. i just managed to write my first songs with actual viable lyrics, an accomplishment that has escaped me for years. woohoo!
that being said, after 17 years tied to my job, i wouldn't mind a LITTLE bit of external shakeup. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/5/2010 11:54:01 AM | Yes, I call it the "when I retire" game.
I have two friends over 50 who are WWOOFers. I, alas, have no talents that anyone would need on a farm or ranch.
I try to do as much as I can now (I hear you on the "I'm getting old and may be TOO odl for some things I've always wanted to do" aspect). BUT...
There is so much I want to see and do, and right now I don't have the "time". I fear that later I won't have the "money". I totally understand, NOW, why those people sell their homes and buy trailers and hang out in the WalMart parking lot with others.
H aha --back in the day, I was denied entree into the Peace Corps. So was my teacher BF at the time. They did NOT choose wisely. TWO people I know who were accepted left after 1 month (and after 3 months of training). | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/5/2010 7:03:50 PM | | I don't know if I would want to wander the roads with a knapsack. But, I wouldn't mind selling everything, buying a small place on a lake, or close to the ocean....throwing a tent into the back of the vehicle..along with a few other essential to my well being items, put my dog in the back seat, and hitting the national parks trail for several months. | |
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| Middle age Wanderlust
Posted: 5/6/2010 11:48:36 AM |
What would you be if you couldn’t point to your surroundings to validate your existence? I think I’ll go and find out.
This is a really good point and something indeed to ponder. I don't know if it necessarily would require us to set off on a contemplative journey of self, but it does prod us to realize what we truly are made of. I think I'll go and find out too.... | |
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