| | Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Clicked into my mailbox tonight and had a new thing from POF offering to use my family stats and birth order for matching? Does that REALLY make a difference? How is it going to help when basic like wanting/ot wantinng kids and such are ignored? And why is there no ONLY CHILD option?
As one of my punk songs says "Everyone had a crappy childhood, get over it." | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 4:34:44 AM | "When you are kid your perception of love, and how you perceive love is shaped by your parents and your siblings.
Looks like someone didn't proof read that sentence, lol. "
Yeah, that was the first thing I noticed as well. Why do they waste their time and energy on stupid things that make no sense? How about updating the layout of the website, or maybe...put the link to the forums back in? Something that's actually USEFUL!  | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 7:57:17 AM |
Oh I loved how you had to claim your income before being able to alter your profile in any way, that was nice.....
Which is why my profile is frozen. I refuse to be forced to put in something which has zero relevance to a site like this OTHER than for their own marketing materials. If you read the reason behind implementing the income figure, it's actually detrimental to those who are trying to find someone since it limits who is displayed.
The only way around this is to do a general search off the main page before you sign in so you can see everyone, not just those who are limited by income. | |
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Thorb
| | Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 7 | |
| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 7:57:48 AM |
When you are kid your perception of love, and how you perceive love is shaped by your parents and your siblings.
We want to dramatically improve our matching system by taking into account your childhood environment, Please enter the following..
Yes ... I noticed the mistakes in composition and gramar first off .....
it sure does "give perception" of the importance of things on here
compounded with the whole forum neglect to change the poorly done changes even after solid code writing advice as to how easy it is to do so
as for income ... just enter the highest for a month and see what happens then the lowest ... and leave it there to get rid of the gold diggers.
I'm wondering where the ads to join paysites are when we are on the forums?
Maybe he hasn't quite compiled the demographics of us to attract specific sites yet. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 8:12:19 AM | | Find me a SINGLE research study that says income doesn't matter. There are thousands of research studies on the matter and its hands down one of the most powerful factors in predicting relationships. If you grow up as a only child you behave dramatically different than someone who grew up and is the 4th of 6 childern. If your parents are divorced you have different attitudes on live etc etc etc. It all makes a difference. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 8:20:28 AM | It has no relevance for matching.
Oh, I dunno about that... I'm a middle child - everyone knows we're just a bunch of whiners who like having a younger sibling to blame everything on and we're nowhere near as successful in life as first borns... so when I'm approached by herd, after herd of eligible bachelors and it doesn't work out - I blame them, Markus, the medium, players, bad hair days, that big ol' zit... it's not my fault, it's... MOM! They're being mean to me... make them stop... whine, whine... snivel, snivel
Here's wiki's take on birth order:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 8:31:25 AM | Sibling order matters some, as one of many basic factors that affect our personality. Myers-Briggs type indicator is even more relevant to understanding each other. Someday Bigfish may wish us to include our Myers-Briggs type, for better matching here.
Most important is how we perceived our biological parents relationship, combined with the extended family role models relationships we saw as we grew up. That is what built our brains foundation wiring of what a relationship is like. That image was formed in our brain before we could critique it with mature logic, so it DOES matter today. It exists subconsciously and affects our preferences and responses in current relationships, but is very hard to quantify.
Which people's pictures we find attractive is much simpler for us to self-determine, so we should have the option of "REMOVE username from MY MATCHES" here on POF. It was a most useful tool to let us choose not to see certain profiles, and PLEASE Markus bring it back! | |
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Thorb
| | Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 9:01:25 AM | If you grow up as a only child you behave dramatically different than someone who grew up and is the 4th of 6 childern. If your parents are divorced you have different attitudes on live etc etc etc. It all makes a difference.
yes ... it does ... but to simply asking if your parents are divorced and not going into how old you were when it happened is going to cause improper analysis of the situation.
it all does make a difference !
so some very simple basic questions
will give you a simple basic misconception of the real situation ....
everyone is an individutal and handles these things differently.
over generalizations are just that and lead to false beliefs.
you would be just as well off to strictly go by astrology which I see you include too.
yet .... the fields of searching are misleading in interpretations and over generalized.
there are threads discussing the misunderstanding of ..... intemate encounter, dating, activity partner, short term , long term and friends are probably the only obvious ones
as for income ....... its something to be discussed privately ... not on some public site.
[most couples do not jump right into it and that is a good thing ... despite your beliefs about the success of people staying together because of it.]
You might as well ask for class .... upper, lower, middle, poor, working ...welfare.
I'm not impressed. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 9:35:58 AM | Apparently POF doesn't like it when you pose a question. I asked this same question in the over 45 forum and it got deleted. All this b.s. about income, sun signs, birth order is just that - b.s.
You can post threads about ED, lack of orgasm, won't date a fat chick, someone has a stalker, blah blah blah.
Why don't they have criteria that would actually be of benefit to me like - did you screw around on your spouse? Who cares if the person is a second born under the sign of Virgo and he makes 50 grand a year - I want to know if he's a cheater, player, beats his kids, lies, steals, etc. Gimme a break - birth order.....shyte. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 9:59:18 AM | Have to totally agree with you, Guitar77....
And also, the income thing they have put up...I don´t really see the relevance in that. If it´s important what a future friend or spouse makes a month then most people are here for the wrong reasons! | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 10:46:08 AM | It's information gathering, pure & simple. Google
does it all the time & now the world & his dog wants
to know the last time you had a sh*g, gave to charity,
or climbed Everest. It's irritating & intrusive
(my view, natch), but serves no useful purpose
as far as I can see - someone tell me I'm wrong
- go on - double dare you!
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 11:12:31 AM | | They sell this kind of information to survey companies and marketing companies. That is all theres to it. There are so many factors. My parents just got divorced last week and were happily married was a clean divorce. how does that play into my situation. This question is bullshit and intrusive. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 11:36:45 AM | So like my income this screwed for bias info is going to make me a better match? But the fact I do not want kids or have any is reason to try to match me up with every baby daddy on the planet? Or the fact that I don't do or want people who do drugs? Or not wanting married/seperated men but having them appear in "My Matches? Seriously? It seems more to broaden the market for bad ads than to actually help match.
There are several factors about parents/sibling order that were left off the options. Widowed, remarried, only children, step children, etc. etc.
I agree this is bogus. The features that were useful("remove from my matches", the forum link, and the forum postings in profiles) disappear but things that any user can manipulate(income) and birth order or parental marriage status are "key" factors? Once you become an adult, you can start making decisions on how you want relationships to be despite what you were reared in.
If it is used for marketing purposes do I then get ads for online head shrinking and relationship consults? It's bad enough I get "date a millionaire" and "hey fat chick" type ads now. Some marketing plan.... | |
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J47_SW
| | Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 12:10:47 PM | | My guess is that it is used for some sort of statistical analysis, or they have a new match making machine which needs a few more magic parameters fed into it before it cranks out some matches for us fish and rods | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 12:39:02 PM | I don't know who my parents are. I bounced around in the foster system. So I've had 100s of brothers and sisters and moms and dads. Numerous have gotten divorced.
Oh and the income thing....it's not matching anything. I get the same matches no matter what my income is. | |
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Thorb
| | Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 1:27:03 PM | its okay ...to lean.... you will only make the print bigger ... and then maybe understand it better.
maybe 1% ... nice guess ... and going down every day this new fkd up format is left in the forums.
qualified psych program ..... ? is there one .... maybe .... maybe not ...
do we need it ............. no.
its just marketing b.s.
forget the b.s search via personality crap and leave it up to people selecting through interests and distance.......... which is truly important.
the add ons I've seen happen over the 5 years I've been on here are mostly a waste of time.
Generalizations ............ in any form ........... are just that ............ and will never be worth spit. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/23/2010 3:08:59 PM | Think romance mixed with speed dating.
More the latter than the prior.
You don't have to go meet the parents this way.
I'm not marriage minded so the point is moot to me.
But, the youngest always does get the task of caring for the
geri farm. Or, it's the sister.. if you're lucky enough to have one.
One of my personal polls.
The money thing is a fact, too. I'd never date a woman who didn't have
a car and couldn't pick beer up on the way over. I've been screening
women for that for years. That's just a dating no-no.
And noone wants kids who already has 'em.
I'd put that in the 95% category.
So, I prolly won't be seeking that 18yr old island bride too soon.
But, that's just me. They're fun to look at though. I gotta admit that.
I quit clicking on the locals completely about a month ago.
Doing my best to help punch the money button. Yanno? | |
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| a failure to communicate
Posted: 5/24/2010 9:49:38 PM | Everyone does not think the same way, and not everyone wants the same things.
For example there is a wide variation in people's ability to communicate and listen to others.
It looks to me that POF is not able to ask people what they want, and to listen carefully to the answers. | |
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| a failure to communicate
Posted: 5/25/2010 4:51:20 AM | well this is dumb and none of the options except the last one apply to my "situation". I'm the youngest of 7, my mum had my sister and me, I have 3 other sisters on my Bio dad's side and 2 more sibblings on my step dad's side.....
Yup, not filling it in. | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/25/2010 1:30:11 PM | And why is there no ONLY CHILD option?
I personally will never get involved with another only child after my Mommas boy (from POF) just left me for the other woman- his mother.
So I think only child is VERY relevant info, especially for men.
I wish I would have known that before I moved in with him
Now I do | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/25/2010 6:26:35 PM | The questioning is flawed, it doesn't account for melded family situations and cannot be answered by most people.
What about those of us that are one parent's first child and another parent's second child so we are both the youngest and oldest with siblings... | |
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| Why does POF want to know about my parents and siblings?
Posted: 5/25/2010 8:39:46 PM | My opinion on this is that POF needs to stop trying to be like eHarmony. Why are you trying to match people up? I think we're all pretty capable of matching ourselves up. We have an advanced search and we can read the profiles that show up in those advanced searches -- what else do we need? (Well, a few improvements on advanced search wouldn't hurt, but I digress.)
I don't disagree that income and family background factor into relationships, but their effects (particularly the latter) a re far too complicated to be included in a dating site's matching formulas -- especially a dating site that supposedly prides itself in its simplicity of use. When users ask for preference listings to be included on profiles, the form answer usually is that almost nobody wants to be filling in a big long list of items like you have to on Match, Yahoo, eHarmony, Chemistry, etc., yet POF keeps adding bizarre questions like this thread's subject that nobody ever asked for anyway. I just really don't understand what you're trying to do here. These "enhancements" cannot possibly improve upon your bottom line (after all, if it did leave to better matches, you would lose those customers!) and since nobody's asking for them and they seem so far out of left field, all you're really doing is reinforcing the perception among the users that, well, POF does not know what it's doing. Wouldn't the simplest thing to do to improve the site would be just to shift through the million suggestions and pick the most popular ones of those?
And suggestion #1 is, of course, better communication about what's going on around here. | |
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