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 kansaswind2002
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 1
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?Page 1 of 1    
I have a very good friend who I deeply care for, but she has always always fancied the bad boys. She tells the guys [not just me] who would be good for her that she isn't ready for a relationship, but she basically screws just about any bad boy that gives her an eye. Is there an underlying reason? I know sshe has the rescuer syndrom type thing going on too. but I'm worried about the example of men she chooses for her three year old daughter. Have any of you ladies been through a bad situation with a bad boy type and just didn't want to get out of it even know its bad for you?
 Rebluez
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 2
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 5:01:00 PM
Because bad boys aren't doormats. They're confident (in most cases), tend not to care what people think of them and generally live life a little closer to the edge.



Bluez
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 3
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when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 5:23:58 PM
Are you implying that only bad boy types can be abusive?
If you are... well, you are wrong. Abusers can look like the
girl/boy next door, the active church member, the politician,
the police officer, the judge, the coach, etc. Are you getting
the picture?
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 4
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when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 5:24:44 PM
Hmmm - choice between:

A) Passion hoping it might last forever and might even change for being healthy

B) "Niceness" that will last forever, but won't scratch that "itch"

I know I don't choose the plain yogurt over the hotfudge sundae with sprinkles and nuts knowing that in the long run it'll be better for my heart. It's just what I want. Oooey gooey sticky....I digress....

As for teaching things to her daughter - maybe she's teaching her daughter to follow her heart and not settle for plain yogurt? Maybe the daughter will find some magical non-fat, low carb fudge sundae with massive nuts? Or she can settle for that guy in her math class and have 2.1 kids and 3.2 cars and all the other averages that I can make up on a whim.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 5
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 5:25:50 PM
Based on what you described, the underlying reasons ...
1) she's "not ready for a relationship" so she picks men who she knows she can't/won't have a "real" relationship with ... that it's doomed to never quite be one or will fail pretty quickly
+
2) she wants to have sex with men who rev her motor ... float her boat ... purr her kitten

Bad situation? If it's bad for me, I try to improve things - if that doesn't work, I go.
The relationship that was the most "bad" for me was with a man who no one would ever label a "bad boy." He is sort of the "anti-bad boy."
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 6
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when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 6:23:02 PM
So called "bad boys" can take many forms, sometimes they appear to be "good guys". I read the papers, there are lots of horrible stories out there about what can happen to women who involve themselves with controlling, obsessive types. I don't know your friend but evidently she's not married to the father of her daughter or at least they're not living together as a family. I wonder why. She's not "ready" for a real relationship? That's OK but when children are involved, it's time to grow up. Stay away from the losers because it's a negative situation for a child. There's an old saying "The fvcking you're getting ain't worth the fvcking you're getting."
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 7
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 6:42:20 PM
"I'm worried about the example of men she chooses for her three year old daughter"

Let's hope by the time her daughter is 7 or 8 she has better taste in men

Right now the three year old doesn't pay much attention to anything other than food, toys and Dora the explorer.

But I really doubt it.
She'll probably always like the bad boy type.
Nobody likes nice guys, haven't you read any of the daily threads here???
"I'm a nice guy and girls don't like me"
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 8
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 6:55:03 PM
When does stereotyping people become dangerous?
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 9
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 6:56:25 PM
Um....on the first date? What part of "BAD" is unclear? When your Mom taught you to avoid anything that's BAD, were you not listening? Are you unclear on the concept? When someone says "This is a BAD thing." do you you just shrug your shoulders?

"I'm going on a date with a BAD BOY".
That would be a BAD decision.
The reasons are BAD.
It will end BADLY.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 10
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 9:11:32 PM

She tells the guys [not just me] who would be good for her that she isn't ready for a relationship, but she basically screws just about any bad boy that gives her an eye.
How would a guy that would make such disparaging remarks about her be "good" for her?
 babyland
Joined: 6/3/2010
Msg: 11
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 9:17:47 PM
but she basically screws just about any bad boy that gives her an eye.
^^^
Soooooooooo. Where abouts does she like to hang out?

Edit: when they turn you out.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 12
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 9:27:10 PM

when does dating bad boys become dangerous?

When you think that you've got what it takes to make them want to change their ways.
Bad boys are fun to play with, but that's about it.
 Eowyn1776
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 13
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 9:37:33 PM
OP:

It depends on which side of the Paseo they live on ;), then you can tell her exactly dangerous it is. How far into the ghetto does she go to meet these men? If she is dating JOCO bad boys, let her live her life.


lol More serious note, it's great for you to be concerned about your friend, but she won't listen to you, she is an adult, and will choose to live her life as she wants. If you are concerned about the safety of her child or you feel her child is constantly put in a dangerous situation, then call DFS, other words, just let her know as her friend you are there for her. Every parent has the right to parent, and when our friends chime in about what we are doing wrong, it might not always be given a receptive ear..........



~Eowyn
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 14
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 9:46:03 PM
When she decides to start dating gangsters, that's when you worry.
 OSUguy99
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 15
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 10:21:01 PM
after you wake up one morning and your purse is empty and your puddy tat is red enflamed chaffed and itchy.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 16
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when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/1/2010 10:57:01 PM
At Hello......
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 17
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/2/2010 4:58:16 AM

There's an old saying "The fvcking you're getting ain't worth the fvcking you're getting."


I must say you have a way with words. lol Good one!

And the next time I date a bad girl I'll think twice!
Especially if she has on her tee-shirt," I have the puzzy so I make the rules"! lol

imo, these dependent chickie poo's who are looking for some action to walk on the wild side is their business to sow dem oats. It's a freedom to act & do whatever & in the same token or trade off,they are chattel in the bad boy, commune lifestyle.
To each their own. jmo
 salamander000
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 18
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when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/2/2010 12:59:04 PM
It depends on which side of the Paseo they live on ;), then you can tell her exactly dangerous it is. How far into the ghetto does she go to meet these men? If she is dating JOCO bad boys, let her live her life.


as soon as I read this I knew I just had to respond, my response may not be humorous, it may not even be entertaining, but...I lived all over that town, and you can find badness all over, I lived across the street from Bob Berdella while he was on his quiet rampage, (Prospect, Main, Charlotte street area) a guy I used to date was murdered by a guy who claimed Dave tried to give him a head job (the guy was/is gay) Oh and free. Never convicted. The gay community gathered enough funds and atty's to make sure, it was in the Pitch, front page, you might recall the story.

You can't judge a book by it's cover, but I never forget one of Dave's words , after they'd found a girl in a dumpster who'd been skewered with a street sign..." Suze, ya just got to be a little scarier than all the rest" when I asked his advise on how best to survive midtown.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 19
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/2/2010 1:47:15 PM
so..she SHOULD go out with a 'nice guy' - like YOU ?

are you sure your 'concern' is not really 'jealousy'?

you seem worried that she is fvcking a lot of guys - but not you..
 Eowyn1776
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 20
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/2/2010 10:37:19 PM
@Salamander,

I was being facetious, of course. I am not naive enough to think that one part of the metro has a free from crime pass. I know, as well as you know the area OP lives in, and of course its a joke in the metro about which areas are "safe"..........

At the end of the day though, regardless of where the OP, or his friend live, it has to be HER choice, not his whom she dates.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 21
when does dating bad boys become dangerous?
Posted: 7/5/2010 5:36:15 PM
It's kind of a moot point! And I'm glad you said "fancied" as opposed to "picked".

Precisely that! She is attracted to these, certain types of men. NOTHING will change that! They tend to be confident, exciting, know how to create sexual chemistry and maybe MOST important, quite often represent something of a challenge to the woman! All, EXTREMELY attractive (almost) universal qualities!


Dangerous? Probably! Like smoking, drinking, driving fast while texting and eating junk food!
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