Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is Texting Cheating?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lexus7480
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I seem to be a magnet for guys that are unavailable! I'm Facebook friends with someone from high school. We used to hang out in a group when I was dating a friend of his. That was 10 years ago. Haven't seen him since. Then he started instant messaging me when I was online. The instant messages have turned into text messages. And now we text every single day...sometimes for hours. Just general conversation and some flirting. He has a girlfriend of two years. She lives out of town. He doesn't talk about her. But he's constantly talking about not wanting to cross the line but that he enjoys chatting with me and thinks our flirting is ok and fun. I'm just wondering if you folks out there consider what he's doing as cheating? And for me as a single person...what type of relationship is ok to have with a guy that has a girlfriend?
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:26:59 AM
Why are you asking us?
What type of "flirting"
Just texting isn't cheating
Graphic sexual texting...well...you're 30 years old...you should be able to figure that one out by yourself.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:27:17 AM
He has a GF and his texts have crossed the line. Why don't you tell him that?
If it feels wrong it usually is.
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 4
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:31:47 AM

Is Texting Cheating?

Were you having phone sex thru text? Of course, that's cheating!

what type of relationship is ok to have with a guy that has a girlfriend?

You have 2 choices: (1) friend, (2) the other woman

 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:32:16 AM
If he is keeping it a secret from his girlfriend, than I would say he is crossing the line. He isn't cheating per se, but he is certainly lying which doesn't put him in a good light.

Put yourself in his girl's shoes. Would you be comfortable if your guy was flirting through texts with some random woman. Would you even care if it's cheating or not, or would you just be purely hurt? There you go that should answer your question.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 6
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:33:05 AM
I guess whether or not it's cheating depends on whether or not the guys' girlfriends/wives would be upset if they knew. I'd say you can have whatever kind of relationship you can have and still have it out in the open.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:47:00 AM
OP - would his girlfriend be hurt/upset if she saw what the two of you were texting back and forth? That's always a good test of whether or not you are crossing a line!
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 8
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:10:58 AM

If he is keeping it a secret from his girlfriend, than I would say he is crossing the line.

Yep.

In my opinion,
Secret daily communications with another woman = cheating
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 9
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:23:44 AM
Why don't you have him show the texts to his girlfriend, see what she thinks?.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 10
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:24:57 AM
Any interest in a person through communication when you're with someone is cheating in my book. Let me ask you this- how would you feel if he were seeing you and texting other women and flirting with them? Does he still look like a good catch??
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:49:11 AM
What you're providing for the guy is a thrill on the side, plenty of ego strokes, and the excitement of the possibility of this going farther than just texting. He's getting a kick out of it and it's exciting for him.

He's not looking to CHANGE his current status, he's looking to ENHANCE it. Why bother wasting your time providing his side fun when that's all it IS for him?

Aim higher, OP.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:50:24 AM
I can't really tell from your post if you like this guy as more than a friend. But if he's sending you texts that you term as "flirting" and you aren't reciprocating, you need to draw the line and tell him you don't appreciate what he's doing. On the other hand, some people are just flirts and really don't mean any harm in doing it. Unfortunately, a lot of people take harmless flirting the wrong way.
 Sweet_Sensations
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:57:43 AM
Without your partner knowing......

Is meeting for lunch/dinner cheating?
Is talking on the phone with flirty undertones cheating?
Is any internet communication with flirty undertones cheating?
Is meeting in a park for a java with flirty undertones cheating?
Is jumping into bed (and oh, it just happened once by accident) cheating?
Is having a drink or two with flirty undertones cheating?

So to answer your question........Of Course It Is Cheating!!!

You are looking for validation here and it just isn't going to happen. A true to each other relationship would not have these issues.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 14
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:38:13 AM
What a treat!
You get to type to someone else's man for hours and hours
Never even go out or talk, do anything fun, just type and type, awesome!

His GF wouldn't put up with this
so this IS
the perfect type of relationship to have with a guy who has a GF
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 15
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:38:51 AM
None of these questions strikes me as terribly relevant.

Seems to me this is just a great big time-suck for you, which will also make you unattractive to someone who is available and does want to actually date you.

I think the type of relationship that's okay to have with a guy that has a girlfriend is one that doesn't eat up hours of your day, and about which you could quite comfortably tell any new dating prospect the absolute and entire truth.

Also one which doesn't potentially endanger you. Who knows how his girlfriend will react if/when she sees all this crap on his phone. That's a headache you don't need!
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 16
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:43:28 AM
OP: How would you feel if the man you were dating for 2 yrs got in contact with someone from his past and starting communicating/flirting every day?

I would only have a platonic friendship with a man who has a gf, but I would definitely make my communications very minimum. You start chatting/texting/flirting and eventually it may lead to more................
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:52:02 AM
I'd say any "flirty" contact that he wouldn't do with his girlfriend's knowledge is cheating. It doesn't matter how it's done.
 restrainingorder
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 18
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:53:26 AM
Well what wouldn't you want done to you if you were dating a guy?
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 19
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:58:33 AM
^^ Yeah, what goes around comes around.

For me, I wouldn't be real happy if my gf was texting a guy in a "flirty and fun" way, not one bit. We'd have a long talk and figure things out.
 greatfnguy
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 20
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 11:04:07 AM

I'm just wondering if you folks out there consider what he's doing as cheating?

Beats me. I never met him. I have no idea if his girlfriend knows about it. I have no idea the relationship between he and his girlfriend. I have no idea if you are actually flirting or if you called him on flirting and he went with it in order to tease you...like he may have done back in high school.

IOW I have no idea what he is doing. Except that he is texting you (although that is more assuming, you could be lying for all I know). You could be initiating all the texting.
Other than that the only thing that I could know is simply you are interpreting his texting.
It could all be in your head.


what type of relationship is ok to have with a guy that has a girlfriend?

What am I your father?
What type of relationship is "ok?"
Do you think there is a relationship police?
You need to know the law?
Any relationship is "ok."
If you ask other people to judge your relationship, you are trying to push off responsibility for it onto other people.

Or are you asking "is this texting relationship that I am in now going to lead to validating my desire to not be in relationships, stereotypes on men, and continue my cycle of enjoying the attention of being a victim"?
Then I would say probably yes, but it's not really the text guys fault.
You are in the relationship you want.

SOSDD

I seem to be a magnet for guys that are unavailable!

Oh you poor victim.


you folks out there consider what he's doing as cheating? ...what type of relationship is ok

"Please tell me what to do, give me attention, tell me I am good, and right, tell me what to think, that way it's never my fault and I am always good."
 lexus7480
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 11:09:17 AM
Thanks for the input everyone. Always interesting to see what other people are thinking. Even those that are harsh...
 Abbicci
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 11:16:34 AM
So all of your freind's boyfriends and husbands...would you send them the same texts?

I mean word for word, would you do it to your best friend's husband or boyfriend?

Would you like your boyfriend sending texts like that to an 'old friend' from school?

I wouldn't call it cheating, I would call it douchey behavior that leads to cheating. Not many cheaters start with the question" Wanna be the lay my wife/gf doesn't know about?"

You can have opposite sex friends, the key is not to be flirty with them.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 12:08:48 PM
Content of the texts with flirting or "sexting" constitue cheating, if he is giving your amorous attention which should be reserved for his GF that is cheating on his part, and you would be enabling it. But best way for you to figure this out is put the shoe on the other foot, imagine you being his GF or you having a BF who enjoys texting "old hs female friends". He does not talk about her, he flirt texts with you(and probably others). I'd say he is a likely candidate for the monogamistically challenged category.I am guessing you allow it cause it strokes your ego. You're old enough to know better and to have your self confidence in check. But it's a free country, just remembe rthe caliber of person you are texting lol!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 24
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 12:22:10 PM
OP here is how to tell.....If you had a boyfriend/husband and found these texts on his phone would you think it was cheating?......Hummmmm
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 25
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 9/13/2010 1:04:44 PM
I think Helen hit the nail on the head - if you aren't interested in being the 'other woman' why waste your limited resources on someone else's man? Find loftier persuits. Get a hobby. Don't talk to someone else's boyfriend.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is Texting Cheating?