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Show ALL Forums  > Creative/Writing  > Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..      Home login  
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 farsunset
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 1
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..Page 1 of 1    
I am finishing up a screenplay that I have been working on for several months.
Problem is I have got serious writers block and I cant seem to find a satisfactory
ending. Its for an independent filmmaker and hes waiting for it with increasing impatience.
What I need is a surprise, O'Henry type ending that will wrap it up, and try as I might,
I cant find one that feels right. I was hoping that one of the talented writers I have
seen in this forum might be able to come up with a fresh perspective. There's no money
involved with the filmmaker, he is a friend and I'm doing it as a favor, but if I use it I will
include a collaborative credit if I use the ending.

Here's the basic plot. A man returns to his apartment and finds a hit man waiting for him,
who was hired by his ex girlfriend with whom he is in a nasty custody battle over their
child. The hit-man is a psychopath and the victim is basically a good guy who hasnt been particularly lucky in life. The victim has just learned that he has terminal cancer . Its basically a setup for a morality play between the 2 men. There's a lot of content and sub plots, and I am satisfied with the results. I had originally ended it with the hit-man just carrying out the hit and walking away but it seems kind of flat and uninspired.

Any help or feedback would be appreciated.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 2
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/8/2010 11:12:23 PM
I suggest you look at the paper for the ending, the woman and the psycho got busted, and the cancer stricken victim is alive and well.
So much for your original script.


An Indiana woman has pleaded guilty to charges that accused her of trying to trade a used above ground swimming pool and $200 in gas money to have her ex-boyfriend killed.

Heidi Friedburg and William Alexander of New Carlisle, Ind., pleaded guilty in federal court in Chicago on Thursday to conspiracy to commit murder-for-hire. Alexander was Friedburg's boyfriend when both were arrested last year.

The Chicago Tribune reports that both face up to 9 years in prison.
Authorities contend Friedburg wanted the ex-boyfriend dead because he wanted custody of one of her children.

http://www.bnd.com/2010/10/08/1430509/ind-pair-pleads-guilty-in-murder.html#ixzz11q5Oprd4

 farsunset
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 3
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/9/2010 3:37:01 PM
Actually the basic plot with the hitman and the victim was just a setup vehicle for the
subplots and dynamics involving the 2 men, which is the meat of the screen play
and deals with fundamental concepts of mortality , morality and the nature of good and evil. It was a convenient way for putting two men in a dynamic situation where they have no choice but to interact. Actually I went through some of Shakespeare's plays last night and I got some ideas that night work.
 Blindsam
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 4
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/12/2010 1:24:27 PM
Not being a great writer, but trying to visualize the scene.
You have a psycho and the intended victim. The victim being dead of sorts from either a bullet or cancer.
The hit-man being only as good as the weapon he holds. If the weapon were to jam it would leave the victim with the upper hand.
 RubensMcLovin
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 5
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:00:15 AM
Over powering the Pychopath and killing him to put him out of his misery and others misery, and then maybe kills him self whilst cunningly framing his ex ... Morals.
 RubensMcLovin
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 6
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:02:45 AM
Maybe his parants get the custody, the old who arnt a part of squabble culture ?
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 7
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/13/2010 11:53:15 AM
The victim asks for one last cigarette... the reason for his cancer. In the exchange the killer is off guard. The victim can then grapple for the gun, get it and puts the antagonist in a defensive position.
Then there is a confession of sorts between the two of them, about their lives and bring forth the intent of the plot.
The agressor now finds himself in a submissive position and begins to confess to his victim his own deep seeded pain, fears, needs and greed. Rendered powerless some painful truths are admitted.
Here you can conclude the concepts of morality, mortality... and find the victim with some compassion for his " killer."
Now that he has the advantage the victim realizes his own failing health and hopelessness and instead of killing the hitman, he turns the gun on himself and commits suicide.

Dark endings are sometimes more powerful than happy ones. Might work???
 Crabby_McCrabberson
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 8
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/13/2010 6:12:42 PM
My main gripe with murdering psychopaths is that they so frequently murder so randomly.

So I might have terminal man & psycho guy go through an Arabian nights type scenario, where every time the psycho gets ready to do the killing, terminal man says something so interesting, the psycho wants to finish discussing that idea and the hit gets postponed a bit. During this they form an unexpected bond partly due to some trivial detail in common in their backgrounds, which seems not trivial to them but like a sign because it's a highly unusual circumstance or happening.

The guy who's terminal knows one or more deeply evil people who commit atrocities but who the law can't touch. He talks the psycho into giving him a gun, and they go out together to hunt down the evil child rapists or whatever they are. They succeed or they don't; they go on a thrilling Thelma & Louise crime spree or they don't. Then terminal man gets caught and psycho guy gets killed. As terminal man is having the cuffs put on, someone rushes up with the news that there was a mistake in the lab.

Yech. That sounds like something off the twilight zone now. But I like the image of them going out killing together, people who they think need killing, or at least terminal man doing at least one thing he'd never otherwise have dared, without the influence of psycho man, and without the terminality.

Maybe O. Henry would have the pscyho really be the sane one; the people they gunned down not really evil; or the hit man not really a hit man but an unorthodox interviewer hired by arbitration secretly trying to determine if terminal man is a fit parent.
 Macgyver_Spider
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 9
I've fallen and my pen doesn't work..
Posted: 10/15/2010 6:19:56 AM
As the man enters the apartment he sees his would-be hit man sitting in his favorite chair. The man is his twin. Separated at birth they never knew each other existed. The hit man kills the ex girlfriend and donates his bone marrow to save his brother. The ex was heavily insured so they take the insurance money raise and the child in a "my 2 dads" scenario giving you a starting point for the next screenplay.
 theseus82
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 10
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/25/2010 2:18:00 AM
I think we'd really need more details on the morality issues you want to portray to get a good ending. The ending should drive home the point you're trying to make rather than just offer a stopping point for the plot.
 FoshFish
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 11
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 10/25/2010 8:49:38 PM
I think the hitman and the victim talk a little, the hitman ties down the victim, and the victim's voice goes up, "don't TOUCH me there," the hitman taunts the victim by calling him gay, and makes fun of him while the victim is tied down, then when he had enough mockery done, he tells the victim, "now you do it to me" "but I can't! I a masochist, remember?" and the hitman says, "that's exactly why" and then the masochist has to torture the hitmen for a while, and the masochist keeps whining all along, "can I stop now?" "SHUT UP, LOSER, and ask me mean questions," replies the hitman angrily.

Night falls and they are both exhausted. "Do you have a bedroom in this hovel you call your abode?" asks the hitman, and they retire to the bedroom, close the door behind them, camera staying out of there, and there will be lots of noises of virtuoso sex, through a closed door, behind which are the hitman and the victim, and the noises keep on going on (gurgling, bed squeeking rhythmically, whispers, moans, tiger roars, hahaha, etc.) during the credits, and the last noise will be, "don't TOUCH me there!!!" and the courtain falls.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 12
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 11/5/2010 6:31:45 PM
I have a great ending, BUT, giving it away for free isn't going to happen.
 NotAtMyMoms
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 13
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 11/6/2010 8:24:31 AM
Be sure to submit your spec to triggerstreet.com for critiques and advice.
 TerriLeee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 14
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 12/13/2010 3:33:22 PM
Ok what about when the victim comes into the room and sees the hitman then all the sudden we notice the child was with the victim. The hitman and victim talk a bit and all of the sudden the victim sees the chance to knock the gun out of his hand and then they start to fight over the gun. Then the young child sees the gun and picks it up. The two men stop their fighting realizing that the young child has the gun and is now aiming it . Then we hear a shot fired. 17 years pass and we see the young boy who happens to be a hitman now. He's on a job and the target happens to be his father. Only its not really his father it was the hit man who originally was in that room, hired by the ex girlfriend. You see the child shot his father whyI don't know maybe accidently or on purpose. But the hit man then decided to keep and raise the child on his own. The child forgets over the years who his real father was and just believed the hit man was always his father until one day the young man(boy) finds a letter that tells him who he is and that the hitman was never his father but in fact going to kill his real father,only then the young man remembers what had happened that day. That the boy had shoot and killed his father accidently. And now he is out to kill this hitman who he called father.

Ok what about this.
TerriLeee
 RockinDaze
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 15
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 12/13/2010 7:58:19 PM
Eyeball to Eyeball.

They stood. Glaring.

Each trying to beat the odds.

'Psycho killer' with dancing plums of a big $1K (yeah, it's a depression folks) but hey, a guy needs new rims ya know. ''Terminal Dude' knowing that he hasn't fought this big fight to go out like that.

Suddenly...

the word "Muffin" stopped them cold in their tracks. eh?

'Dude, you know muffin?" says psycho killer
"Yeah man. That's my girl."

The inner workings of a tattoo come to life. Both realized that they had been had.
Duped. Muffin had framed them both. Come to find out... Psycho Killer had cheated the tattoo artist of a couple $$$ and THAT was Muffin's long lost lovin' man.

"Sorry Dude".

"Yeah."

.... to be continued after their long recant of Muffin shenanigans over hot cocoa.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 16
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 12/31/2010 8:42:28 AM
^^^^^^^^^Not bad LOL

The hitman was at the wrong house at the end.

I'm not fond of house murders..

2 stories in one but not to much emphasis on the one killed except it is the wifes lover , just enough that we know he is someone..and has a life...
The story of the intended victim..and the story of the other man is wound into a seemingly acquaintance of the intended victim/lover of the wife who has him murdered

Same height and hair color goes to the same YMCA or whatever.. as to not give the ending away..
A real Bedford incident ending..just leaves you going Oh Fick!!.

The end............when she gets the call her face ..priceless.
 RockinDaze
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 17
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 12/31/2010 4:30:07 PM
(lol) Are we bored or what?! And now that we have thrown in a Muffin or two, what happened?
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 18
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 12/31/2010 4:53:25 PM
The best ending:

She walks in, dressed to kill... lassos the man
takes him back up a holler
ties him up
****s his brains out
then sets him on fire...

Pakistani style ba-bee....
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 19
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 1/1/2011 1:44:47 AM

(lol) Are we bored or what?!


Safe and sober..but yes.

Op sometimes you just need to sit back..think of the yourself in the shoes of who you are killing off and then in the shoes of the other person..act it out.

Have 3 or 4 different ways it could go.
remember everyone has a history

Go with the worst /most shocking possible scenario..for the "victim".
Sometimes the bad guys can be victims also.

Sometimes having the good guy turn out to be somewhat of a rotten person with a very dark past/ deep secret..is a good way to go..but he is the one that lives

Then you are glad he died or disappointed he didn't



Just don't let us figure it out On page 200 of a 400 page book..I hate that.
 promiseofspring
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 20
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 1/31/2011 2:30:04 PM
although many people in the world including myself, want a happy ending,you could make the ending quite ironic, or perhaps an ending that leaves them guessing. if you don't like these suggestions let me know, my mind never sleeps.
 msmia41
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 21
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 1/31/2011 3:26:54 PM
The ending for a screenplay...hmmmmm.....The victim asks why he is to be killed and who set you up to this....with no word from the psycho path...you hear only silence and then the door bell rings who is at the door ...is it the ex ? Was it a neigbor? Maybe the doctor coming by to check on him....gun shots are heard up and down the block....who died? Sirens and policemen surround the house....in the end the good guy(the victim) gets word that the Cancer was all a medical mistake he is basically going to live and not die......so who got shot?....you decide the rest....
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 22
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Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 2/18/2011 10:44:10 PM
I don't think the problem is with the ending. You have about 90 minutes of the two guys talking about morality and other issues, where one has a gun pointed at the other. If your characters aren't telling you what happens at the end, then you need to rethink the screenplay. Way too many movies are made where the characters are just devices to move the plot along - we don't need another one.
 paulpa
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 23
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 2/25/2011 7:53:10 PM
There are several endings you can use --

The happy ending (It all ends well, everything goes well for the protagonist)
The sad positive ending (The main goal is reached, but at a price)
The neutral ending (Nothing good nor bad happens)
The hopeful negative ending (Things do not go well for the protagonist, but there is hope created)
The sad ending (everything goes wrong)
The status quo ending (things return to normal)
The ambiguous ending (the outcome is unknown)
The cliffhanger ending (like the ambiguous ending, but there is room for a sequel)
 cc7up
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 24
Need Ending for Screenplay ..Bad Writers Block..
Posted: 3/1/2011 4:41:56 PM
Try a 'Thoughts in a Coma' angle
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