| | Is she playing me???-Long StoryPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | This is going to be a long story, as they usually are. So me and my ex have broken up 1yr ago and it was bad. THings were said that should have not of been. I was very emotionally abusive. I wasnt emotionally abusive throughout the relationship; i yelled at her over the phone when we brokeup. I said a lot of things i regret. This is VERY uncharacteristic of me because i have never yelled at anyone in my lifetime. I am a very calm, collective guy.
THe reason for the breakup(more to the story): I told her i was cheated on in the past. And she "might" have been with her boyfriend at the time when we were fooling around. THats is y i got so angry and i confronted her about that. And i just snapped
I contacted her today and we talked. She says she forgives me, but she is scared becuase i might "snap" like that agian. Very understandable. She in a relatioship with a guy, but she says that she doesnt feel a connection. She thinks hes a nice guy and she doesnt want to leave him right away. Thats there is no "feeling" there with him and she said it is becuase of me; that i yelled at her. And also she told me the only reason why she became bf with him was becuase she was "bored" and there was nothing going on in her life. Me and her actually had a connection. She was extremely happy when we became bf/gf. I told her i am sorry and i not that emotional abuser. That i have never even yelled at anyone in my life. I told her i want her back. She said we can be friends and cant promise anything. So whats the deal?? Do i get another chance or is she just playing me???? | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 3:39:22 PM |
Do i get another chance or is she just playing me????
Wouldn't you just be putting yourself back in the same situation as when you first met this woman, OP? After all, you said you broke up because she "might" have been with her boyfriend at the time you met her and began fooling around....and now here she is with another boyfriend, and considering hooking up with you as well?
Either you're a glutton for punishment, or don't mind being the back burner guy. Even if she hooks up with you again, her track record evidently is that she'll up and leave any relationship when someone more appealing comes along, so why would you even want this second chance? JMO. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:03:43 PM | she's a wimp. you must have had quite an outburst if you have never yelled at anyone before. big deal.
people that can't face their own anger due to fear of losing control are extremely judgmental of those who can release their anger at appropriate timse without going postal. they are soooo afraid of their own anger it just festers inside for a lifetime creating terrible dis-eases.
if she was capable of genuinely loving you, she would not be phased.
another angle is that she is guilty and its easier for her fragile psyche to turn the tables and blame you for "something" so she doesn't have to face herself. once again she doesn't come across as being very self-actualized. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:07:17 PM | She is forgiving, said you could be friends and told you she is seeing someone.
What's the game?
You waited a year to contact her... she moved on. She is not sure that she wants to
invite you back into her life because of her past experience with you when you
"snapped"
What's the game?
I don't think you are being "played" I think she was honest with you.
I think you wanted to hear something different or have her reciprocate feelings and that didn't happen... doesn't mean you are being toyed with. You are just not getting what you had anticipated? No? | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:12:12 PM | I haven't any idea if she's playing you, but If I was in her position, I wouldn't give you a second chance.
If she was that happy w/ you in the first place as you claim, she wouldn't have left.
I think you should take anger management classes because physical abuse usually follows "yelling", You need to get control of your temper (if that is even possible) before you're relationship material to anyone. Unless you want to end up in prison. Anger tends to escalate.
I think she should be afraid you will "snap" It becomes easier after the first time.
I'd like her to be the one writing a post, I would tell her to steer clear of you.
I'm wondering if you have a drug or alcohol problem? (not an insult, a real question) | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:15:36 PM | | Actually she wants the choices. She will sleep with both of you until something happens to snap it off. The first man to walk away will be the one she will then work to get back and drop the other easy sap. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:18:26 PM | ^^^Most women aren't that trashy .I disagree w you. I think she's afraid, and rightfully so.You may be writing from one of your past experiences or from something you would do , but most women can't handle more than one fellow at a time (in my experience).
She is w/ the fellow she likes regardless of what this op believes imo. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:22:39 PM | | I dont need anger mangement courses. Im not that guy. I dont even drink or do drugs. The day i "snapped" at her. I was awake for 2days straight becuase i wsa having panic attacks at night. I was going through a lot. I have NEVER YELLED AT ANYONE IN MY LIFE | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:24:44 PM | Most women aren't that trashy .I disagree w/ you totally. I think she's afraid, and rightfully so.
I don't think that's trashy Ellena. In fact it's very common for a woman to be undecided between two men. It may even be a natural instinct. I think she is trying to survive or effect her best possible survival. Fear is the worst and most common cause of this phenomena. She is not trashy...she is affraid. In fact it would be the most effective setup concerning her situation. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:28:44 PM |
I said a lot of things i regret.
It makes me wonder. You must have said some things that were pretty awful.
Edit for below:
You are contridicting yourself OP. Please reread your opening post.
Perhaps he meant that he has never yelled at anyone, up until his ex.
They were really awful. Im not even gonna lie
Well, I guess that would explain why she's scared then. Though I know a couple who are emotionally abusive towards one another, said awful things to each other and are STILL together. Regardless, it is not a healthy relationship. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:30:02 PM | "I said a lot of things i regret.
It makes me wonder. You must have said some things that were pretty awful. "
They were really awful. Im not even gonna lie | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:30:10 PM | "I dont need anger mangement courses. Im not that guy. "
Your post makes you sound like that guy.
Jealous that makes people snap is most often just justification for bad behavour.
"The day i "snapped" at her. I was awake for 2days straight becuase i wsa having panic attacks at night. I was going through a lot."
Panic attacks causing lack to sleep, then causing you to snap OP? You can't see a reason that you need help with this kind of behaviour?
"I have NEVER YELLED AT ANYONE IN MY LIFE"
You are contridicting yourself OP. Please reread your opening post. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:35:44 PM | Oy it's silly to assume that if one yells they automatically do drugs or booze. I would love to see a person who has never yelled in their life.
OP, I don't think you owe anyone an explanation here as to why you snapped. You were going through a break up...some people don't hold their emotions back too well and end up yelling. I think it's utter BS to say that physical violence is the next step after 'yelling' (it can be, but not in ALL cases). I have yelled on more than a few occasions, because shoot sometimes it feels good to get that release, but under any circumstances will I ever physically abuse anyone.
Yelling can be a form of emotional/verbal abuse if say you yelled at your ex every single time in your relationship over every little thing to the point where she is terrified of you. To raise your voice a few octaves in a situation that you obviously had a lot of emotion invested in (especially from what you say it’s the first time you have ever yelled) absolutely does not mean you have an anger problems, come on!
| |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:36:54 PM | "I dont need anger mangement courses. Im not that guy. "
Your post makes you sound like that guy.
Jealous that makes people snap is most often just justification for bad behavour.
"The day i "snapped" at her. I was awake for 2days straight becuase i wsa having panic attacks at night. I was going through a lot."
Panic attacks causing lack to sleep, then causing you to snap OP? You can't see a reason that you need help with this kind of behaviour?
"I have NEVER YELLED AT ANYONE IN MY LIFE"
You are contridicting yourself OP. Please reread your opening post."
When i first found out my gf cheated on me. I never yelled at her. I was very common | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:37:53 PM | I have NEVER YELLED AT ANYONE IN MY LIFE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never? It takes a conscious effort to hit that Caps Button. What's the punch line? | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:42:32 PM | Hmmmm
i was cheated on in the past...she "might" have been with her boyfriend at the time when we were fooling around. ..She in a relatioship with a guy, but she says that she doesnt feel a connection.
So
Do i get another chance or is she just playing me????
Another chance at what?
A crappy relationship that is guaranteed to fail, but highly dramatic and fun until the end? Yes. You will have another chance at that. And it sounds like you make sure you get a chance at that.
Another chance at a healthy adult relationship? Nope.
I think you are playing each other.
So whats the deal??
No one wants to be viewed as the cheater.
So they have to play games with their own head.
Have to come up with rationalizations and justifications for "bad" behavior.
Such as "there's no feelings" or "love but not in love" or "I never intended it to go this far! We were just friends...and it just happened!"
That way you get to act irresponsibility, like children, and never have to face changing behavior or judgments, or responsibility.
The other deal is chasing women that are guaranteed to fail, that cheat, have a history of bad decisions that sabotage and end relationships, guarantees no LTR and you get to blame them. Only allowing short term validating drama relationships, with the self delusion that you are trying to get what you think you are supposed to.
Good luck with that. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:50:24 PM | putting the one-time yelling issue aside, let's break this down into logical statements:
*the break up was a year ago
*you broke up because she "might" have been with her bf @ the time you were having sex
*she's currently in a relationship, yet talking to you about the possibilities of one
*she doesn't edify her current bf, yet chooses to stay with him
*she's offering friendship with an ex bf while in a relationship
Does that help? | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:51:00 PM | Another chance? For what blaming her for your actions and them tempting her to cheat on her current BF? The player is you.
If she was my daughter I'd tell her to stay away. The two of you have history and it is not good. Staying awake for two straight days due to panic attacks? That makes you sound crazy. What guarantee does anyone have that it will not happen again? Who or what will you blame it on next time? | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 4:59:22 PM | "I told her i was cheated on in the past. And she "might" have been with her boyfriend at the time when we were fooling around."
That statement says it all for me. You need to deal with the hurt you are carrying from being cheated on in the past. Not carry it into your next relationship. "Might" have been cheating, is something you and your jealousy are going to run into over and over if you don't do the work to learn to trust. You are not relationship material for anyone until you get over your trust issues. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 5:04:41 PM | | Thats y i wanted a yr to contact her. I wasnt ready at that time. The time we were fooling around i just came out of a bad relationship(cheating). Im have dealt with ALL my issues. THe panic attack and not sleeping was due to a family member being sick, a best friend stabbign in the back, and tninking about her all the time. | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 5:31:56 PM | Going by her tude with her current sucker why would you even want her ?
She's with him cuz she's bored ?!!!
Does HE know this ?
How long before she dumps him and he's on here asking if he's being played by her and getting another chance ?
I say both you guys should move on to someone with some character !
Jeepers creepers with a capital CREEPERS !
Bon chance !
As far as people wanting to delete this thread : ANYTHING is better than that ridiculous FWB thread - somebody please put that one out of it's misery ! | |
|
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 5:32:18 PM | | Big deal, you yelled. People are human and make mistakes. Everybody yells sometimes. If you said hurtful things and you're sorry, apologize. If she wants to get back with you she will accept that you made a mistake. If she's with the other guy just because she's bored, but doesn't want to get back with you, sounds like she's not very interested. | |
|
| |
| |
| Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 7:26:34 PM | | Should i txt her tomorrow saying something like "did i accomplish anything from that talk?" Or "did that conversation clear up alot of things"?? something similar like that. I need a female perspective | |
|
Home
login 
