| | How to handle GamesPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | My ex Partner was suffering with Post natal deppression 5 years ago
I worked away to support us and found it difficult to be accepted back into the family .
I was told to change . Eventually I found work closer to home and was brought back into the family . evcerytime I lost my job I was kicked out of home . I lost another job whilst pregnant and was told to leave again, after our second child was born I was so ashamed not to be apart of it . I had decided to go and sulk in the corner .
We where still having kisses and cuddles every weekend and I eventually found a really good stable job , new big place to live .
She said she would move in with me but lack of garden meant nowhere for pigs and rabbits.
Another family freind of hers was encouraged to court her and I told her I wouldnt let her move in anyway . I suppose i wanted to hear her tell me im not as bad as she was making out and she wanted to make another go , but I never heared it.
2 weeks later she got with some guy but was giving me a running commentary of what they were doing including how big he was etc # Game Whats with that ? Obviously i felt territorial
2 years later she has been with 7 other guys and ive felt everyone ....
She recently moved very close to my place and now i can see the children every day
We had sex a month ago and i thought it was the begining of something intimate and new
she said not to tell her mother or anyone .
I sat on the kids whilst she went out locally with freinds , she told me to wait in her bed and she would be back at 12
I was really excited waiting for her , I waited until 3 am .. she got back at 7 am
and lately i seen her outside a shop , I was looking for a top so I asked her opinion
she tried to hold my Hand in the Shop #
I felt it was intimate , surely im not wrong
this is what i dont understand ...... 2 days # after her holding my hand, I sat on the kids again as she went pictures with friend .. I was sure we would get intimate afterwards after hand holding .
she got back and told me she was really tired and was going to bed
I left and as i got around the corner I recieved a Text message ... :) it read
" He has gone now HaHa .. But just wait a sec x x " ... it was for a lad who was hiding in the car waiting for me to leave. ##
This has opened so much in my heart . Am I over Sensitive .. whats her game!!! | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:29:31 AM | 2 ways to handle games:
1- don't play them.
2- play them harder.
you choose | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:30:27 AM |
This has opened so much in my heart . Am I over Sensitive .. whats her game!!! Are you really serious with all of this crap?
Cupcake... if there was ever a time to cut bait and fish from another section of the pond, this would be it... and what's the deal with all of the job losses? Sounds like both of you have some problems that need to be worked through...
I've left jobs and have been laid off of other positions, but never have I lost a job. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:36:16 AM | The work was contract work ... good money but short lived .
Why hold my hand though , Is that just a thing woman do with no meaning ? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:48:06 AM | | Yes - shocking I know. Some PEOPLE hold hands with no intention of it leading to sex. Not sure where you heard otherwise. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:52:16 AM | Either:
(1) Don't play; or
(2) Make her play your game.
You need to dump this woman and forget about her as anything beyond whatever roles she has left as ``mom'' after you go to court to gain custody of your kids. If you take her back after the crap she's pulled, you're a doormat with no self-respect. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:52:23 AM | Suppose I need more understanding and compassion.
I see my kids regularly ... I was wondering why she would show such intimacy and closeness then just have a guy in her bed 2 days later ..
suppose us guys see intimacy as sexual closeness and woman dont ??
How do woman see sex? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:52:56 AM | ^^^i don't know how she sees sex and she isn't here to tell us (i could guess with high odds of being correct), but i see what your problem is. good good man. her game is the "you will do anything she wants you to" game. and you've played it very well. think about that.
wake up. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:55:21 AM | Suppose I need more understanding and compassion.
Hire an escort and get laid as a bonus.
I see my kids regularly ... I was wondering why she would show such intimacy and closeness then just have a guy in her bed 2 days later ..
Money? If so, don't hire her by mistake.
How do woman see sex?
The woman in question sees it as manipulation.
I see my kids regularly .
Seeing your kids regularly isn't good enough. Do you want them to grow up in that environment and think that mom is a good role model for a woman? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 5:58:26 AM | Suppose I need more understanding and compassion.
I see my kids regularly ... I was wondering why she would show such intimacy and closeness then just have a guy in her bed 2 days later ..
suppose us guys see intimacy as sexual closeness and woman dont ??
How do woman see sex?
I seen the hand holding as Kids, mums and dads .... not exclusivly sexual
Do you think she has intimacy issues? ###
This thread is devoted toward making an index of all the tactics and stratigies women use to manipulate men and get them to do their bidding. Why do we need a thread such of this? Two reasons-
1. I have no desire to go through life being a smuck who is used by and dosen't get what he wants from women.
2. Evidence in my life has made me believe that women get extremely turned on by men that they cannot manipulate/control.
So then, how do women manipulate? I am of the opinion that nearly every form of manipulation that women employ is dependent upon elicitiing an emotional response. Emotions are the mechanism by which women elicit or modify the behaviors of males they wish to control. This is done either proactivally or retroactivally.
Proactive manipulation is done to elicit desired behaviors. I believe that women use this manipulation to either test men or when they "sense weakness". Examples of this behavior include statements such as:
"A real Gentleman woud..."
"I want a man who knows how to treat me right"
"It would be really nice if you..."
Retroactive manipulation is done after a woman has (or hasn't) gotten something she wanted out of a man. It is done to reinforce (or eliminate) the behavior as a sort of pavlovian reinforcement (or punishment). Examples include:
"You're such a nice guy!"
"You're so different from all the other guys!"
"You're such an a$$hole!"
(which really translates to you're not falling for my manipulations and doing what I want you to)
In my expirenece, the three most common emotions used are:
Shame
Guilt
Praise
Women also use attention, or lack there of, to indicate their pleasure/displeasure with a given man.
Well, with all that said- we've come to the question that's on everyone's mind. "How does one avoid being manipulated by women?" There are probably multiple methods, but in my expirence the most surefire way to avoid manipulation is to simply not give two ****s about what a women says or feels about what you think or do. Just do what you want regardless of what she says or does. By making your own happiness the barameter of success in life, you make yourself completely immune to the manipulations of women. Be the a$$hole, avoid being manipulated, and win at life. | |
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TDH49
| | Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 11 | |
| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 6:16:46 AM |
"He has gone now HaHa.. But just wait a sec"... it was for a lad who was hiding in the car waiting for me to leave.
I am calling bullshit on this. No woman is that stupid to do something like this unless it's intentional. And how the hell would you know who it was for and where he was hiding? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 6:43:56 AM | OP- if you choose to play her game harder (which i really do NOT believe you can)...
you first begin by sleeping with her sister(s), mother and her close friends and the one girl she really hates.
pull out all the stops, nicest dinners you can think of...buy them some gifts...whatever it takes...
do it all so she knows you're doing it...(which she will find out)
and pretend like she does not exist at all.
do not bother answering her calls...and when you do- keep them short, then excuse yourself after a few minutes, because you have another call.
have her walk in on you in her bed with the girl she really hates.
and pretend like she does not exist.
this girl really doesn't care too much for you... you are her baby's daddy. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 6:45:16 AM | What in the name of sweet Jaysus?
You ALLOW her to manipulate you. Grow a set. Assert your paternal rights. Fight for visitation or joint custody. See you children on your appointed time and at your place.
Don't let her decide when, let a judge decide. Document all of your child support payments. Pay by check and keep a record.
This woman is emotionally abusive. She is USING you. You are like a puppet on her strings...but YOU have ALLOWED IT.
There are woman that DO NOT MANIPULATE MEN. You make blanket statements here that generalize and just prove more about YOU than any astute observations you think you have made about women.
I think your situation here has gone way past needing help from a public forum.
Get some PROFESSIONAL HELP and LEGAL HELP.
* shaking my head in disbelief*
WHAT? Are you a glutton for punishment? You want to go back for MORE? I have some choice words for this woman but out of respect for the fact that she is the mother of your children...I shall refrain.
Please tell me this is a joke post. I'm just dumbfounded reading this:
""2 years later she has been with 7 other guys and ive felt everyone ....""
You FELT them? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
This can't be real. "How to handle Games".....this is torture, not a game. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 6:49:07 AM | | You can be a good father and have nothing to do with the Mother. My advice would be to tell her you are no longer interested in pretneding to be a couple. She is making a fool of you. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 6:58:16 AM | It takes two to play any game other than solitare. If you don't like the game, if you want to regain some respect for yourself and set an example for your children you needt to:
stop playing NOW. Don't give her any more turns at the game board.
Get a lawyer (or go to legal aid) and start the process to have your responsibility to your children documented legally
Remain present in your children's lives - don't walk away from your children to avoid and/or punish her. You want them to know they are important to you and the only way to do that is to stay involved with them. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:01:57 AM | Jaysus tap dancin kerist.
I'm calling bullshyte on this entire business.
If this is true, pull yourself together man.
and quit making "off spring" with this woman.
good grief | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:25:43 AM | """This thread is devoted toward making an index of all the tactics and stratigies women use to manipulate men and get them to do their bidding.""
This thread should be devoted to FLEET ENEMAS.... someone needs one.
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:32:28 AM | No bullshi TDH49 .. My friend gave me a Kudos for going back to see who it was ...
maybe subconciously or maybe she just pressed send too quick and i was top of list..
Mistress Chill , i know it seems pathetic to you that a guy would go through torture to get back into a family wife and kids the dog and the cat .... But its alls i ever want
thank you carole
bee i dont need a lawyer , I can see my kids anytime
No bullshi Browney , alls i ever want is the family
Cooti , sex dosnt hold a family togeather .. 'The post was pasted from a web site about manipulation ' but my story is true
respect Shark .
Im really traditional , living in a post internet age .... woman can get men to there door on speed dial now .... divorce rate is up monumently .... I cant adjust ... im not weak .I refuse to bend
So I should ditch believing we could ever make it work ????? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:47:07 AM | To be blunt, the only way you are going to have a family life is to divorce or file for legal/joint custody of the children and to start over--and find a nice woman who is loyal to you.
Past behavior is the predictor for future behavior. This woman will continue to sleep around and to manipulate you. Both of you, in this current situation, are teaching the kids that it's ok NOT to be monogomous in a relationship ( of sorts) and that the father is at the mercy of the mother and has to come and go like a revolving door. There's absolutely NO stability other than knowing that this will all continue. And you say that you will not bend.
If that's the case, you have exactly what you want ans I don't understand why you're in the forums.
The reason that she's doing this is because it's WORKING for her. She can have and do whatever she wants and involve you in it all when she chooses to.
You may not want to bend-- how is it bending to stand up for yourself and have self respect; to place the needs of your children above your own? (Rhetorical)
The children--everyone- need stability. It's time to bring some normalcy into this situation and do what's best for the children, which is to have them living in a stable home--even if you have to file for custody and live alone with them and get your head and your heart straightened out--with professional help. JMO | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:48:24 AM | """"So I should ditch believing we could ever make it work ?????"""
YES YES YES YES YES ..... and work on yourself. Get a back bone. Your suffering here is OPTIONAL.
She has done nothing but disrespect you.... when do you think that's gonna get any better? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:50:18 AM | 2 weeks later she got with some guy but was giving me a running commentary of what they were doing including how big he was etc # Game Whats with that ? Obviously i felt territorial....
This is what I don't understand...why after this point you would want anything to do with this whore that doesn't directly involve the kids you have together. You don't seem to have even one ounce of self-respect. Maybe you could procure a set of balls from the NHS? | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:54:51 AM | She says Shes confused and dont Know what she wants at the moment , she said she fed up with guys just wanting sex .
That was a Cooler that situation Scottey, Why would she tell me every detail though ... I dont get it?
Thanks you have all been great help .... I google this and found The FEAR - SHAME DYNAMIC
Thanks for your input ... im reduced to rubble but what dont kill you makes you stronger | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 8:05:40 AM |
you choose
Sounds like you are a willing participant in this "game".OP
Sorry it's hard to have much sympathy when you do that.
I don't get the hand holding as ANYTHING to encourage you myself in wanting sex or a relatinship.WTH???
She may be fond of you but
YOU can NOT hold a job per you own words.
How can she ever depend on someone like that?
She has children to think of and unless she wants to go the route I did and work 6 days a week often 12 hours..She is wise not to keep you IMO.
I don't excuse her current whatever for being a complete tool in regards to bragging about what nature gave him or her thinking that's OK.
She has issues, they have issues,you have issues..bad combo.
Think of the kids and not her.
Get legal counsel as far as the kids and be done with this CRAPOLA..
Y'all sound like a Freakin MESS to me. ALL of you.
Has country "tear in your beer" song written all over it. | |
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| How to handle Games
Posted: 10/19/2010 8:11:26 AM | She's little more than a wh*re, one that's controlling you via your own insecurities.
I would never allow my children to be raised in an environment like that, of course, the courts couldn't care less, but you should.
Set some boundaries, show some pride in yourself for god's sake, how in the name of Jessica Alba's sweet ass can you allow yourself to be treated like that?.
Walk away from this fool.
The sooner the better.
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