Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 completed
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 1
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily? Page 1 of 1    
My girlfriends and I have been wondering about this. All relatively attractive, intelligent, down to earth ladies that get a decent amount of attention but still seem to encounter the same pattern across the board. ie. Be too available and guys don’t like it. Be to coy and you miss out. WT? If guys are supposed to be so into sex and chasing girls then what’s the go here? Half the time it’s like they are scared to make a move then the rest of the time as soon as there has been some interaction (date, kissing etc) and a big rush of action on their part and you play it dignified female, don’t ‘put out’ (which they say they respect) but then they pull right back.

Is it game playing on their part to get their way or stimulate more action./interest from the female? Do men know that being keen the all of a sudden ‘cool’ drives us insane (well most of us. Sorry ladies for giving this away) and get’s us thinking and if so, at what point will a guy worry that he might miss out all together. How long can they drag this out for? if they are so about sex and chasing then this all seams contradictory. Whats' going on here?!

Love to hear you’re take on this boys!

 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 2
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 5:53:17 PM
constant rejection can cause alot of people to give up. why else do you think ? ?
 Cool_November
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 3
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:03:05 PM
well,i think i can answer part of your question about guys pulling back after being told no to num nums.No,wait,on second thought you just gave me the inside scoop on what this does to you(drives you insane) and I've decided not to return the favor and give you any guy secrets.so nee ner nee ner neeeeee nerrrrr
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 4
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:03:16 PM
I get what you're talking about but, there's piece of puzzle I think you're missing here. Of course we enjoy the chase, the capture and the feast afterward BUT the one thing you seem to be missing in your logic is if the guy actually wants the capture. You and your friend may been chased nu guys with no real intention of capturing you to enjoy the feast.

It sounds to me based on what you've explained that you've met huys who may have had an interest in chasing you but after a while, came to see they did not want the capture.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 5
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:04:51 PM
Do men know that being keen the all of a sudden ‘cool’ drives us insane (well most of us. Sorry ladies for giving this away)


And men are human and imperfect also.. Each man has his own experience level and motivation level to continue chasing you or not..
Much depends on the level of feedback you provide, relative to his actual intent...

Many guys will take time to develop feelings that you may be the "one",
so not a good idea to instantly demand that they conform to how you perceive the "one" should be.. Or say that you are JUST looking for the "one"...

Another example of why finding and maintaining a compatible long-term SO relationship IS
the second greatest challenge in life for most..
It REQUIRES allowing about 50% control to another imperfect human such as yourself...
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 6
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:29:30 PM
OP- actually the "chase" that interests us, is the one that we really want. meeting a girl, talking to her and taking her out a few times, then boning her.

That's not a chase.

That's easy pickens.


If we stop chasing you, either after sleeping with you- OR - before sleeping with you (cuz we think you're holding out),,,,

its because you aren't worth wasting our time chasing.

just saying.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 7
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:29:36 PM
IF you ASSUME every guy likes to chase and you and your gal pals always run away, even Wil E. Coyote is going to tire out and get a job as a phone rep. for ACME rather than chase you.

Solution - Stop running AWAY and start running TOWARD men. You have a choice, you don't have to sit and wait to be ignored.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 8
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:36:31 PM

Stop running AWAY and start running TOWARD men. You have a choice, you don't have to sit and wait to be ignored.


I disagree with this. If a woman wants a serious, bonafide relationship with a guy "worthy" of her and doesn't wanna waste her time with guys wasting her time. She should not run towards me, she should allow them to chase her.

caveat:
She should also allow herself to be caught- but only by the right one. And she should not get upset because she cannot find a guy very quickly. This strategy will get her what she wants, but she's going to have a lot of alone time as well. And she'll have to let that sink in and hope her ego can handle it.

Also- that means she should NOT build the Atlantic Wall between herself and men as well.


If she's looking for a booty call, attention from men, looking to be played....then she should disregard this advice.
 eric5k
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 9
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 6:41:21 PM
We all want what we can't have, and also want better than we had. Many guys will make a determination very quickly whether it's just going to be for fun for a little bit or if we see REAL potential. If I am totally digging it and you have the whole package then I'm definitely going to pursue and try to make it into something. It can really depend on the guy what they have already going, if there are others on the side. Chances are if you feel like you are being used (or whatever you want to call it) you are!.. We are not dumb and neither are you, your gut instinct is right most of the time.

If you make yourself very available then it might seem like you get around since it feels so easy, to me that's a turn off, but I am looking for something real and my time is worth a lot.

Cheers!
 Fun4usguy
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 10
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 7:08:08 PM
There had been other thread on this before and it's a real pain in the ass that some women play that game / or at least appear to, then wonder what happened.
Are you in or not? Seriously. Quit ****ing around long enough once you figure oout what you really want. Guys don't mind chasing, can deal with some teasing, but being run around.
 thetrick123
Joined: 7/16/2010
Msg: 11
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 7:45:01 PM
If we stop chasing you, either after sleeping with you- OR - before sleeping with you (cuz we think you're holding out),,,,

its because you aren't worth wasting our time chasing.

just saying.


Holy smoke "boondocksaint73", its seems a very fine line some women have to tip-toe on...if we sleep with you too soon, you think we are not "relationship" material, or better yet if we do not sleep with you soon enough we run the risk of your thinking we're holding out and thus not worthy of pursuing!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 7:48:42 PM
Chasing is a gane for idiots.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 13
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 8:01:32 PM
Here we go again .... Chasing...

Not every guy likes to chase. Some of us have enough options, don't really need to.....
Easily obtained sex is just as fun
Women are sexually liberated .... Sex is easy to get
There is a another woman waiting, why bother with the bullcht chasing games ?

All this 18th century lady like behavior is good and dandy if you're a virgin waiting for your husband..... But we all know you've already humped 50 frogs before us! Why the funk play hard to get now? Who are you kidding? Bah!
 thetrick123
Joined: 7/16/2010
Msg: 14
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 8:47:38 PM
It has nothing to with holding out waiting for the husband. Play hard to get..you lose, play it slow and easy, again.....you lose. I mean after all you already know that we have humped 50 frogs before we met you...Right?
 TravelingLight
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 15
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 8:57:50 PM
In today's world, not as many people are into game playing, and if it gets too hard they go elsewhere.
They can obtain sex much more easily today than a few decades ago. They may also be turned off by games.

I know I would. If I go after a woman, I don't want any of that 'the guy has to chase the girl not the other way around, if he gives you his phone number don't call right away you'll sound desperate, tease but don't have sex right away etc'

my god.

I prefer a more mature approach. If we're interested, we don't put ourselves through all kinds of tests, and follow outdated ideas: we develop the relationship like people who can take charge of themselves and communicate with the other.

I think that people who give up easily either do it because they are persuaded they can't get the woman or because they don't want to take too much trouble.

Of course someone who had a long term relationship plan, strong feelings, etc might pursue a lot more.
 completed
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 16
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:30:22 PM
Thanks for reiterating ' thetrick123'.... still not much mroe enlightened by these guys are we! Thanks boys for your responses but allot of them contradictory. Some of you say you are not interested in traditional woo and chase tactics others saying that if a girl wants a guy to respect her she's got to play a more traditional, wait to be caught role to be of any value to a man

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating game playing at all or saying a guy should do all the work. If i like a guy I’ll let it be known and definitely don’t expect anyone running around after men. What I am asking is why it seams some guys are so OTT full on into you to the point it’s not appropriate to fully reciprocate until you know them a little better but then unless you meet them in terms of momentum they kind of fizz out/pull back but still act keen/interested - still want to see you, talk to you but tone it down big time. Just politeness? Isn’t this what guys are supposed to like. Having to ‘step up’. or are they assuming you are playing a game and responding as such or just not interested all of a sudden because 1. They couldn’t get you into bed or 2. They just decide they don’t like you that much and if either or both of these then why wouldn’t they (knowing that the girl was interested) at least make enough effort to get her across the line (into bed) assuming that sex is a matter of life and death as it sounds like it is at times

As for '50 frogs' - not all of us and this is another point - the doubt standards. I for one have not been around the block that many times but it appears many men (on here included) are happy to jump to the conclusion that all woman are s**t's – if we don’t ‘put out’ then we are ‘playing hard to get’ because we are s**t’s anyway and ‘who are we trying to kid’ and if we do ‘put out’ well that just double confirms it. All seems pretty unfair and very judgemental. Woman (in my experience anyway and speaking for myself) are nowhere near that judgemental of men – unless of course the guy is obviously a bad egg/has a bad reputation
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 17
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:34:31 PM

All relatively attractive, intelligent, down to earth ladies that get a decent amount of attention but still seem to encounter the same pattern across the board. ie. Be too available and guys don’t like it. Be to coy and you miss out. WT? If guys are supposed to be so into sex and chasing girls then what’s the go here?


Not all men are as desperate as some women hoped they'd be. A lot more of them know how to "play a womans game" than most women give them credit for.

Dissapointing, isn't it? Ah, well.... You'll survive.





Do men know that being keen the all of a sudden ‘cool’ drives us insane (well most of us. Sorry ladies for giving this away) and get’s us thinking and if so, at what point will a guy worry that he might miss out all together.


tsk tsk... some guys know better than to give out that recipie. heh heh heh..

But seriously ....What point will he worry that he's missing out? hmmmm... when he doesn't have other options waiting in the wings..? i dont know.. give us a a more detailed scenario...



How long can they drag this out for? if they are so about sex and chasing then this all seams contradictory. Whats' going on here?!


In some cases, this "game" is all in the womans mind.. if a guy loses interest in chasing a woman and doesn't tell you.. you may not be on the same page as him and make up scenarios in your head of what you think he's thinking & that he's making you chase him back when it might be something as simple as "he has other options and isn't that hard up for sex with you" and he's probably oblivious to your frustration.

And then there are some guys that are very well aware of the situation and just simply know how to play the game right back at the women. Yeah there are some guys who chase women for sex and dont know better and get all frustrated ... but not all men are equal. Some of them know how to flip your world upsidedown before you can flip theirs.

Guys are getting wiser to the "game".. it's as simple as that.









 completed
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 18
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:43:41 PM
MisterDynomite and others along the lines of 'guys can get sex easily', 'know how to play woman' and 'can't be bothered with making much of an effort'. how does that work when a guy just goes for whatever (ralativly unattractive, not so smart, 'easy' girls) when there are way better ones on offer? am i right in assuming they are just after sex so why bother with anything/anyone that looks like they might require some effort - ?

that would be pretty dissapointing. as a female i couldn't image having sex with someone i wasn't attracted, wanted to know and had a decent amount going for them

which brings me to another question: WHEN A GUY IS JUST AFTER EASY CASUAL SEX AND CAN GET IT BUT MEETS ANOTHER GIRL HE QUITE LIKES. WHAT IUS THE THRESHOLD/POINT AT WHICH HE WILL PASS ON THE EASY WIN AND PUT SOME EFFORT INTO PURSUING SOMTHING A LITTLE MORE CHELLENGING? DOES HE HAVE TO WANT A RELATIONSHIP TO DO THIS ie. if a guy realises you are not 1 night stand material will he avoid you for obvious 1 night stand material (even though he likes you over the one night stand material) because you're 'too hard' and he's focused on 'getting it' - ??

 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 19
view profile
History
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:55:05 PM
am i right in assuming they are just after sex so why bother with anything/anyone that looks like they might require some effort - ?


Not always.

Some guys who are seriously looking can also see a situation where there is a "chase" going to happen and just can't be bothered running after a woman who keeps giggling and running away in hopes the guy will chase her to boost her ego and make her feel wanted.

And yes... some women abuse that and make it go on for way too long. And some guys just have better things to do than play cat chase mouse games.

It's not always because they want sex... thats just the easy answer to write off all situations that all guys want sex. I'm sure you will see answers from other guys on here that they are looking for LTR but not the silly drawn out chase game that goes with it.

Men set limits on how much B.S. they want to deal with too just like women do.



 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 20
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:57:45 PM

Holy smoke "boondocksaint73", its seems a very fine line some women have to tip-toe on...if we sleep with you too soon, you think we are not "relationship" material, or better yet if we do not sleep with you soon enough we run the risk of your thinking we're holding out and thus not worthy of pursuing!



oh please...no need to play a victim. you are not a teenage girl who doesn't know how things are my dear.


you might have humped 50 frogs before me, but I sure as hell don't wanna know about it or think about it.


which is why I, like most men, like to date younger women.

if I wanna get with a girl who's humped 50 frogs before me- i'll go get me a retired working girl. as I mentioned in another thread, I believe I've heard they are the best women to marry.

best
girls
ever
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 21
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 10:27:08 PM
full on into you to the point it’s not appropriate to fully reciprocate until you know them a little better but then unless you meet them in terms of momentum they kind of fizz out/pull back but still act keen/interested - still want to see you, talk to you but tone it down big time


Actually, since you asked: There is a WOO time limit which usually shortens with more experience..

WOO is Window Of Opportunity. The time that a man is initially intrigued by a new woman's overall presentation, whether it is all real or faked..

Timely matching reciprocity is critical for some connection to happen at all.. Soo many fish in the Sea...

Initial testosterone levels rise fast, then gradually drop off over a period of days after the initial stimulus..

Habituation can set in, to the point the man may intellectually see through a woman's false presentation
and decide not to pursue..
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 22
If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?
Posted: 11/8/2010 10:35:53 PM
Frankly the moment I get the sense that the woman is into "the chase" and the cat, and mouse game....I drop her for a woman that is ready to reciprocate a bit more. We men, also have options.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > If guys love sex & ‘the chase’ so much, why do they give up so easily?