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 ejg701
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 1
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacyPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've come to a forgone conclusion that as a shy Black man with basic standards for the women he dates, you might as well hang it up. I'm single, have no children, educated, talented, funny, physically fit, but has yet to find a serious relationship. My friends say I'm picky- so if picky means being only interested in emotionally stable, baggage free, height-weight proportionate, open-minded women with a sense of humor, and the ability to have intelligent discourse, I guess I'm picky. I know I'm desirable, don't need validation of that, but I can recall countless situations where attractive women out and about have given me the come on. The thing is, I got that whole shy, and afraid to approach women thing going on. I've found that attractive women are only willing to go so far in showing their interest in you. If you can't recognize their signals, or are afraid to approach them, then you've failed their first and most important test. The women that do approach me overtly... Let's just say that they represent a class of women that doesn't appeal to me in the slightest- pretty much a polar opposite of the aforementioned traits. About eleven years ago, I discovered what at the time seemed like the perfect solution to my dating woes. Online dating. I thought it would be the perfect forum in which to showcase my personality, and approach women whom I thought might make a good match with me. I can write a Hell of a lot better than I can think on my feet, so I thought it would work out in my favor. Well like all things that seem like a good idea on paper, but rarely work out in practice, my online dating epiphany was one of them. I found that the vast majority of my replies were being ignored, or responded to with a "courtesy response." The women that were responding to me were the same types of women that were approaching me offline. I guess my online experience wasn't a total wash- I met a few women that I had some good dates with, just nothing that could have developed into anything long-term.

So, here is where the shy black man with basic standards being the Death Knell, comes in. Off line, if you're shy, and can't approach women, you better have money. If you don't have money, you better have an Internet connection. If you're a shy White, Asian, ex. male, and still are having difficulty online. Take some creative writing classes, learn how to express yourselves creatively, and humorously. If you're reasonable attractive, take pictures that capture your best characteristics, in different lighting schemes, and lastly, learn how to make your first reply to a woman creative, captivating, and unique from the hundreds seemingly duplicate replies she's already received. If you're Black, while the aforementioned advice might help you in life, it won't do much good online- because once she see's that you're Black, you'll be lucky if she'll even reads your reply, let alone responds to it. You see, Black men are a niche commodity. Either you love them, and don't date anything else, or you wouldn't touch them to save your mother. Society has stigmatized the Black man as being this ruthless woman beating, no job having, STD spreading, baby making, and ditching, uneducated, prison bound Neanderthal, and it's a shroud that's been cast on a woman's decision to date a man despite her race, and whether she knows it or not. While things might be different in other parts of the country or world, that's what I've found here in Minnesota where Ninety percent of the female population doesn't date Black men. The other ten percent- the women that only date Black men, I rarely have anything in common with them, regardless of their race. Being the perpetual optimist that I am, I refuse to believe that such a woman doesn't exist, I just might have to grow some confidence, and get off the Internet to find her. What's your option?
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 2
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 11:04:51 AM
So you have a number of issues, and complaints and you put them all in one posts.

1st complaint: You can't seem to find a serious relationship
2nd complaint: Shy and afraid to approach women
3rd complaint: Women that approach you aren't your type
4th complaint: You can't get women to respond to your emails and the one's that do don't tickle your fancy or they respond out of courtesy
5th complaint: Shy men should have money or else they won't get dates IRL
6th complaint: Not having much luck with non black women
7th complaint: Angry at all of the stereotypes against black men

Start working on building up your confidence, and self esteem before worrying about the rest. You are timid, and don't approach women because of it.

Do you have any males friends? If you do, and they aren't stuck in a hole like you are when it comes down to women, I would say watch some of their moves.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 3
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 11:36:17 AM

what I've found here in Minnesota where Ninety percent of the female population doesn't date Black men. The other ten percent- the women that only date Black men, I rarely have anything in common with them, regardless of their race.


I live up here and I partially agree with this statement. Anecdotally, I grew up in a neighborhood with all the races, and none of the guys, black, white, brown or yellow, had problems with women due strictly to race. Hell, the white guys were the worst, fitting your "Neanderthal" description the most.

You just need to see your own worth and how it transcends race. Sure, you'll come across women who refuse to date a guy just because he's black, but a mature woman with an open mind isn't going to make the Neanderthal assumptions you've brought up. Flipping this around, would you date a white girl who only dates black guys (I know a couple of them)? Because really, she's no different than any color girl who only dates white guys or whatever; same bias and racism, just pointed in a different direction.

I think, like Rush, you need to work on your confidence and identify what good things you bring to the table. A guy like you who is good looking, stable and presumably smart (based on the way your profile's written) should be able to find a mate; you need to build confidence first. Don't blame it on your race or women's bias.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 4
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 11:36:40 AM
Nice guy thread number 283!!
Same complaints......different day!

Not only do you not have any courage......you have an obviously ridiculously high standard to meet when it comes to women.
You don't really say it........but I get the impression your looking for
some 1950's type of woman. May I suggest scoping out some churches!
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 5
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 12:20:51 PM
oh please. you joined POF 2 weeks ago and already you're whining?


this has nothing to do with you being black and everything to do with your SELF-PITY. it's disgusting. if that's your version of "optimism", then you've got some hard lessons to learn.

if you think nobody wants to date you now, just wait until they hear you pissing & moaning about how you can't get what you want all because you're black and/or shy. i can't roll my eyes fast enough to keep up with that one. except for the fact that pity threads get shot on sight here, i could tell you to do a thread search and you'd find 4 thousand other guys complaining about how they can't get a response, boo hoo! same shit/different day. there is absolutely nothing exceptional about your experience here. online dating requires patience & lots of it.

quit blaming the world around you for your personal problems. recognize where your control points and spheres of influence actually are. you don't get to have any say in whether or not another person finds you attractive, but there's all kinds of stuff you can do to make yourself into the kind of person that people will naturally find attractive. put yourself out there like the able-bodied and capable young man that you are and fix your attitude and self confidence. then you'll be able to approach all kinds of people. plus, you won't be crying in your beer just because you didn't get your expectations met on your time frame for personal satisfaction. also, always remember this, because it's very, very important: for every person b1tching about how they don't have a relationship, there are at least 3 more b1tching about the one they've already got.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 6
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 12:43:27 PM

...if you think nobody wants to date you now, just wait until they hear you pissing & moaning about how you can't get what you want all because you're black and/or shy. i can't roll my eyes fast enough to keep up with that one....
Man ain't THAT the truth.


I can't help thinking of the saying, "want a little cheese with that whine?"
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 7
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:11:39 PM

I can't help thinking of the saying, "want a little cheese with that whine?"

"How about a whaa-burger and some french cries?"
"Want a beer? How about a Whineken?"

Not trying to pile on, OP, but I had to quote that.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 8
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:13:20 PM
If what you're doing isn't working, do something differently.
If you're shy--talk to a counselor and learn better communications skills and explore why you're shy, etc.
You're casting blame on everyone and everything but yourself. Well,,,actually you're also blaming the fact that you're not dating on being Black ( as well as being shy). If that's the case, how are other Black men in marriages and ltr's?
Life is about learning, making good choices, etc. You've learned what NOT to do, now learn what works.
Use the forums to ask what to do rather than lament about not finding anyone who fits your description of a woman you would like to date.
Read the threads on this topic and learn from them.
Talk to your guy friends who are in successful relationships and learn from them.
Leave Minnesota- js life is about choice and what we want out of it. Don't want to leave Minnesota? Then find what works for you there- just stop hitting the blame button for starters IMO.
 Pilose_Wink
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 9
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:13:21 PM

I know I'm desirable, don't need validation of that, but I can recall countless situations where attractive women out and about have given me the come on. The thing is, I got that whole shy, and afraid to approach women thing going on. I've found that attractive women are only willing to go so far in showing their interest in you. If you can't recognize their signals, or are afraid to approach them, then you've failed their first and most important test.


The things is, a lot of guys are shy and it’s not the job of a woman to train you not to be shy. Everyone, not just women are only going to go so far. What, like they have to be so worthy as to drag their naked bodies across broken glass for you to prove how worthy they are for your clueless meek attention? At some point, you’re going to have to grow a set of balls and take a risk, and yes, you will fail. Never mind all the second paragraph diatribe excuses, it was actually pitiful to read, but if that’s where your blinders point, that’s all you’re going to see.

And just a tip, learn to see the signals and find your own approach to them, or you’ll always fail the first test, because most of the time you don’t get a second chance.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 10
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:15:01 PM
I've come to a forgone conclusion that as a shy Black man with basic standards for the women he dates, you might as well hang it up.

Everyone has an excuse for not getting what he/she feels entitled to receive. Your excuse is not all that much of a handicap compared with many others who manage to find relationships. If you want to be a victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy, it's your choice. If not, then work with what you have been given, which from your own description of yourself seems to be more than enough to not complain.

You see, Black men are a niche commodity.

Unless you have some plan to change your race, I think you're stuck with it. By the same token, men under 6' tall might be considered a niche commodity, but I dealt with being 5'9" by finding niche customers. It was easier than growing taller.

What's your option?

My option was to be grateful for what I have and not obssess over things I can't change. Oddly enough, the right attitude can offset a few of the things one cannot change.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 11
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:22:24 PM
I think you're doomed, OP. In addition to all the whining, and self-fulfilling prophecies, and feeling sorry for yourself, and unwillingness to change anything about yourself, you are, essentially, also stating that you don't like to date women who like to date black men.

So, in the immortal spirit of Groucho Marx, you would never be a member of a club that would have you as a member.

Yes, doomed.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 12
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 1:44:21 PM

Nice guy thread number 283!!


I don't see this as a nice guy thread at all.

By the way, I didn't realize it read, "celibate" in the title. It makes me wonder if OP is refraining from having sex, or is he referring to being unmarried.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 13
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 2:42:10 PM

If you're Black, while the aforementioned advice might help you in life, it won't do much good online- because once she see's that you're Black, you'll be lucky if she'll even reads your reply, let alone responds to it. You see, Black men are a niche commodity. Either you love them, and don't date anything else, or you wouldn't touch them to save your mother.


Statistically speaking, black men actually do get the worst response rates from women . I would link you to the data that supports this but it's a separate dating site and POF might get whiny about it. Similarly, black women don't get responses back from men across the board yet they're the ones who respond most out of all races in women.

Personally I'm a black guy (that should be obvious) but I'm far from being shy. I'm a lot more assertive and in fact it's the women (regardless of ethnicity) that are extremely shy in my locality. In the four months I've been here I've messaged a grand whopping total of 7 women . I'm a picky **stard but the real problem is that even the new users signing up all the time are still the same old thing to me.

Out of those 7 women I messaged, 2 of them I wasn't messaging with romantic intent but one of the two did respond. That leaves 5 women and out them 3 responded back and I even met one of the 3. So with romantic intent I essentially had a 60% response rate all the while being a non-shy black guy (none of my messages have been unread/deleted). Will this be the same for shy black guys? That's impossible to really answer considering all the factors that go into your profile, their profile and your messages. BUT, regardless of the statistics and stigmas we crispy guys are far from a life of celibacy. O___o

The only real reason we're a '"niche" is because non-whites are seemingly not as abundant as whites on this site. Haven't you seen this for yourself? It baffles me personally.

Aside from all that, I still think women wanting to get to know you or not is mainly on an individual basis. There is the stigma of us being broke and ghetto but the ball isn't totally in our court. It also depends on the woman viewing the profile and her ability to see that one black guy isn't like that as opposed to the next. Personally speaking, I could only imagine most women at my age preference (18-25) and my locality wouldn't touch me with a pole because of my profile. It's 995 words long, complete with non-smiling photos and is far from the homogeneous list of requirements in men they want.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 14
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 3:24:24 PM
OK, first off some good news.
Being shy and black is no worse than being shy and any other race.
It sucks just as much no matter who you are.

Now some even better news.
You can change that.
yup, you can.
Your choice to be shy.
Your choice not to be.
So what's the deal?

Tons of threads with good advice on just that subject.
No reason to type it all out again in here.

Lastly, is there a dating site just for brothers since
there are not alot in here? Not that you need to
only do that. It is a good idea to be on multiple sites
if you can. But if you're looking for a specific type.
or are a specific type. Go to where that type is found,
as well as in here.

If you're unsure of where the fish are biting,
put a pole in multiple places to increase your catch.

good Luck!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 15
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:27:55 PM
Race/gender unimportant; if you aren't overly social and able to approach and talk to people, you'll date less. That's fine if you don't care, but if you do - something's gotta give. Dating is just a social activity...period.

Men who approach me aren't my type. I tend to be tough to approach, so by default men who are have to be aggressive or pushy, a trait I don't find attractive. So I have to approach the men I find attractive if I want to get to know them. So...I do. I prefer to approach - that way I don't deal with a lot of filler, but that's just me.

If you want to date more than you want to be safe when approaching, you'll override the safety and just go do it already.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:42:43 PM
OP,

I know quite a few women of African descent who live in Minnesota and other places like Indiana who have no problem dating and marrying. Most of them are in fact married to men of other races. I don't think ethnicity is your main problem.

Have you seen your profile? Please request a profile review.

I am going to start with a few observations:
-You chose the worst pic as the main photo
-Super Hero as your job?
-Some college at age 32?
-longest relationship less than one year
-beer making as one of only 3 activities
-borderline offensive comment about gays
-say you are non-religious but asking for a woman that is "spiritually fit"

Do you see my point?

Also, just as in your post in this thread, you do not have proper paragraphs. It is difficult to read.

Good luck!
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 17
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 6:53:43 PM
So you want a female to take on a man's role and pursue you? Also, if you aren't say 21 and under expect women to have the "baggage" it's called living life, learning lessons and not putting up with bad behavior ever again. Not all women are skanks you just have to get balls to approach them and treat them like human beings not idols.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 18
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 7:12:06 PM
So you want a female to take on a man's role and pursue you?


Jeze,

It's the 21st century and 2010, remember? It's time for the roles to be reversed.
 ejg701
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 19
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 9:20:17 PM
Well, I didn't want to this to become a "flame fest, but I should have known better. I also didn't want my post to come off as complaining, which I wasn't. I was just stating my experience, why I've come to my conclusion, and looking for feedback. I know the score. I know that in order to be successful in anything, you have to be confident in your abilities to achieve what you want. My confidence gets a "needs improvement," rating, that's why I got online in the first place. Truth be told, I went online to try to circumvent the prerequisite of developing confidence in order to be successful in dating. It actually had the opposite effect of bolstering some of the insecurities I had about my desirability. Maybe I could have made it more clear, but my concerns were directed at Internet dating only!

When it comes to offline dating, all of those concerns are non-issues, as long as confidence is in the equation. How do I know? Because I have confident Black male friends who are wildly successful with women of all elasticities- dating exclusively offline. Offline gives them the opportunity to showcase their personalities in person- confident, charismatic personalities that have to ability to quell any preconceived notions one may have about them. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, " wow! You're the first Black man I've ever been attracted to," in one of their presence.

So back to my gripe about Internet dating. Men in general get the short end when it comes to Internet dating; Black men get the butt. Based on information gathered by OK trends, and 7 other top dating sites, Black men get the lowest response rate when they make initial contact,(less than 16%, adjusted for a standard deviation.) Why that is, no one knows for sure- but I have a pretty good theory, as stated in my first post. Online dating is all about snap judgment. You could have the best profile ever written, and send the most creative replies, but if she doesn't like the shirt you were wearing in your profile picture, because it was the one her ex was wearing when he told her he was doing her best friend, consider yourself deleted. There is no opportunity of "convince," someone that everything they though they knew about a certain person, or group of people is wrong. Boundaries, and prejudices still exist in out society. While I believe they are easy to overcome in person with they right mentality, they become virtually insurmountable Online. Most things in life aren't fair, and Online dating for men is no exception. SFW, get over it- I get it.

I'm a man who takes criticism very well. Some replies where actually very constructive, and I'll utilize the advice. Some replies were... well, lets just say I was never one to bad mouth, or single anyone out despite their ignorance.

I think the moral of the story is, " it's unproductive to focus on the things you can't change. It creates the irrational impetus not to change because you have convinced yourself that there is nothing you can do about it."

I hate being ripped a new one, but I think it's very therapeutic in a sense. I would however like to defend myself a little bit.

-I swear I wasn't complaining.

-Spirituality is the multidimensional, pervasive quality of the inner person that is beyond mind, and body, and uniquely interpreted by each individual. While it often has religious connotations, it has a distinct, and separate meaning. I consider myself a "Teapot Agnostic," but also consider myself very spiritual.

- I never said I don't date women who date Black men. I said I don't usually date women who ONLY date Black men. Black women aside, I see it as a form of objectification. Love or hate me for who I am, not for what I am. I am many things, but I'm an individual above all else.

-Paragraph structure was not incorrect. The only hard fast rule to paragraph structure is to create a new one with each new topic. Everything else depends on the medium. Subtopics can be contained within one paragraph, but for readability it's a good idea to break them up- so I'll give you .5 points for that one.

-Formal education doesn't equate to success in life, knowledge, or intellect. I know some buffoons with Masters degrees. Myself, and a number of my colleges are self-educated, and very successful.

-Not all Black men are unsuccessful with Internet dating. Like any other man, If he's reasonably attractive, ahead of the fold, and is receptive to the type of women that will be interested in him, then that can be viewed as a success. For me, and guys like me, there is a great dichotomy between the women that respond to my profile, and the women that I prefer. <--- = great difficulty.

Like I said before, I'm not complaining, I'm just stating an observation. Since there isn't much I can do about the dynamics, I'm going to do something about something I can do something about. I'm GTFO the Internet, lol! Hey, it only took me twelve years to figure that one out:)
 soicat
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 20
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 9:46:42 PM
Are you telling us that black women don't date black men? Once they see you're black they won't reply?

You have access to all the black women you want, plus you have the white women who choose to date black guys.

It's always harder for shy guys - just thank your lucky little stars you don't look like Woody Allen.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 21
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 9:57:38 PM
Well it's good you got thick skin.
Cus asking advice or stating an opinion with bored folks in here is just asking for it.

I can understand you having to clarify your meaning.
But you didn't listen to any advice as to your profile.
which is still pretty bad.
Most of your pictures are good.
Except your main one.
I would get a new one of those.

And the text is bad...hard to read...no paragraphs...slightly annoying to read...
What exactly are you trying to impress a girl with?
This is only the internet. It isn't a psychic medium where somehow
women understand you by magic osmosis.

So let me repeat:
If your profile sucks...
you're dead in the water.
period.
No way around that.

Cus you are right. It is all about snap judgement.
The first bad picture...
the first misepelled word...
or badly phrased thought or stupid joke...
and it's NEXT!

Most folks don't even read a whole profile.
Just stop at the first sour note and move on.

You also do not understand this medium.

" Love or hate me for who I am, not for what I am. I am many things, but I'm an individual above all else."

No, you ARE NOT an individual online.
Only in person.
Online you are merely a picture and text.
That's it.
That's all.
And that's all you got to sell yourself.
So make the best of both.

This too is something we all have to deal with:

"For me, and guys like me, there is a great dichotomy between the women that respond to my profile, and the women that I prefer. <--- = great difficulty."

Yes it is.
I mean I'm still waiting for Julia Roberts to email me inbetween her numerous divorces.
But sadly I wait in vain.
Guess I will have to make do with women I can woo and win.
Which are plenty.
Cus after a long time of emailing random women I was attracted to.
(and getting no where)
I started emailing attractive women who seemed to like my type.
or rather open to my type.

For instance, if a profile said must be a Jehovah's Witness...
I didn't email her hoping to convince her I was her guy even though I wasn't.
Nor get mad when I couldn't convince her.
I simply didn't email a girl who required that.

Over time by reading the profiles and viewing the eyes in the pictures,
I got a good idea of who I should contact.
No matter how great a prize I think I am..
(and I'm pretty conceited on that point)
I know most types won't go for me.
And I learned what types do.

and it is a waste fo time to cry foul over women's preferences,
when you have your own.

I understand your frustration starting out in here.
We all go thru that.
Then we get smarter and make positive changes to our profiles/pics.
and start learning how to read women better.
Or rather make better snap judgements on their profiles same
as they do ours.

Hope this helps.
good luck.
Welcome to the wonderful world of online advertising.

:-)

**oh you already changed your main picture.
Good. Make other changes and you'll ace this in no time.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 22
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 10:25:23 PM
^^Words of wisdom from this man as usual.


Are you telling us that black women don't date black men? Once they see you're black they won't reply?


Clearly he's referring to non black women, and they don't necessarily have to be white.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 23
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/10/2010 10:34:57 PM
Don't matter what color shIrt you have on....black, green, white, purple .... Don't expect hot women to sit on your lap. That almost never happens....

You have to take initiative and actually be more creative,interesting and charming than the 998 losers hit on her earlier that day..... regardless of your color...

That being said, I almost never persue 'extremely hot' women...as i see it as 'loser's bet'.....but i am ok with that, I can live with the "less hot" woman...don't have to have the hottest woman in the room. If you can't then you'll have to lose the 'shy guy' act and be assertive ..... oh and very competitive ....

 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 24
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/11/2010 3:23:24 AM
Well now that you got all that off you chest, I'm going to suggest something you probably don't want to read..........."Suck it the F&*% up". These are the cards you've been given and you have to play with what you got. Yes, I understand where you are coming from especially in the "negative" caricatures and stereotypes when it comes to dealing with other people. Not necessarily in the romantic field but in other arenas in life....you have to go above and beyond the call to "prove" you are not like the "rest of em", I hated it and there is where I adopted my "f*&^ em" attitude. I learn to suck it up, like a pill you don't want to swallow.


Me and my buddy who wasn't black had a joke, he said how does it feel to be at the "bottom of the totem pole" meaning a girl can get with any race of men but if she runs around with a "black" it's the end of the world, lol. It was funny as hell but it still has a little truth. I told him who gives a f*&%. So my question to you, what are you going to do now that you "know" 90% of the female population don't like you? You already "complained" so what else is there to do but suck it up?


Another thing, you seem to be upset that not many women out of your race are not interested. Check this out you should know this already but, women are more "hesitant" to date outside their race than men are. They have more to lose than us guys do. Hell us guys are damn near expected to taste a little bit of everything where the women are only expected to like their own, which is moronic as hell, this goes back to the "totem pole" thing. A women will go outside of her race quicker if it is considered "going up" meaning this guy she is messing is better(earning more) than most "average guys in her race. So you better try out for the Minnesota Vikings and make the team. That will change things exponentially. Don't take it personally because a woman does not want you because of your race. "She may have too much to lose" sad but true. good luck dude.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 25
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 11/11/2010 5:24:24 AM
Dude, you're f***** up. I don't give a flying leap what your ethnicity, race, religion or preferred vegetables are. I'm not surprised you're alone and I suspect you'll die that way. I suggest counseling. Your problems are far beyond the ability of amateur shrinks on a free dating site. I don't date any particular kind of man, none of the women I know in my hometown which is the second largest US city and the most diverse in the world, do but we date who we are like and interested in. I've dated men from every background you can name. Not exclusively. My current bf is white. Boy it has been a long time since I dated a white guy-I'm most attracted to them but there simply aren't many (any really) where I live. So stop whining and get some help-you desperately need it.
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