| | Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-UpPage 1 of 1 | So my ex-gf broke up with me through a text message of all things. The whole time we were dating another guy who was obsessed with her by calling her over 30 times a day kept making things up about me to win her over.
It never bothered her until right before the break up. She would start questioning us the same way he would until she ultimately broke up with me.
About 2 or 3 weeks later she texts me and asks if I have a girlfriend. When I said no, she said she wanted to date again soon. She said this guy was such an a-hole and everything which basically verifies she left me for him. Now that things didn't work out with him she starts texting me again. She also asked how I was doing and I said everything is going really well (which it is).
Another 2 weeks goes by and I am on a date when she calls. I don't answer but when she texts later I tell her I was on a date. She texts back and says she's going on a date now too and just wanted to see if I made the first move on dating someone else.
She is the one who broke up with me so I don't think I did anything wrong in dating someone else. I had no choice but to move on. I know some people might think "oh but you told her you would date her again so it was wrong of you." She has played so many mind games with me in the past that I couldn't take her seriously. If I find someone I'm compatible with I'm going to go for it now that I am single.
So, does she really want to get back with me? And why would she threaten me by saying she's now going on a date too? | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 2:56:33 PM | So, does she really want to get back with me? And why would she threaten me by saying she's now going on a date too?
Here's an even more interesting question, with the way that all of this transpired, why would you care?  | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 3:03:28 PM | Dude...grow some nads and find a woman who will treat you better.
Simple eh?
No...I'm NOT Canadian.
Oh boy...too short again.
Ok...look...this is just a minor setback in your life. Learn from it and move on.
Karma will eventually "Learn her a harsh lesson" | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 3:09:52 PM | OP- if you did not contact her, or allow her to contact you...
there'd be no mixed signals.
if she wanted to be with you- she would not have broken up with you.
quit torturing yourself.
stop all contact. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 3:13:59 PM | OP anyone who is being stalked, via any type of technology, can put a quick end to it by simply blocking them. Your ex gf must enjoy all the attention. 30 texts a day, please tell me this must have crossed your mind.
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. | |
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esp123
| | Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 7 | |
| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 3:34:43 PM | | She dumped you for another so am telling ya you don't want her back. Don't answer her calls and txt messages or whatever that comes from her. Toughen up you are nearly 30... | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 3:35:24 PM |
So, does she really want to get back with me? And why would she threaten me by saying she's now going on a date too?
It appears she is trying to 'up one' on you by saying she going on a date. It appears she's trying to make you quite jealous! Don't fall for it and play her games! You don't owe her an explanation! | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 4:12:37 PM | For people in the 30 year old range, the two of you are behaving very childishly, in my opinion. Her letting the "a-hole" talk her into leaving you, then trying to run back to you when she figured out he was a lying a-hole (I think most 29 year olds would not have been fooled to begin with), indicates she isn't knowledgeable enough about herself to BE in a committed relationship. That you would consider it, suggests you aren't either, so in THAT way you two are a good match.
Her saying she would date too, isn't a threat, it's an ego protection. She was hoping you were at home, pining away for her, and when she discovered you weren't, she either made up a new boyfriend, or was willing to admit she had one or more already, in order to cover her embarrassment about expecting you to still be completely alone. Again, that's teenage stuff.
You are both still trying to figure yourselves out. Since you and she didn't do anything spectacular with other people, such as having children, there's no reason you CAN'T or SHOULDN'T try again, especially since both of you have so much to learn. But you both have a lot of growing up to do, so don't expect a perfect situation to arise from this. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 4:18:03 PM | If she couldn't figure out that someone who would call her 30 times a day for the sole purpose of getting into her pants was an a-hole, she's an idiot.
Move on. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 4:18:19 PM | She sounds confused... and she sounds like she feels like she regretted the choice she made; but hasn't really acknowledged or commited either.
Definitely sounds like she's putting out feelers, while not committing and while trying to see where you are at from her safety zone. To get back at you maybe? I'm GUESSING more to see if you are available IF she decides she wants to get back with you (safety net?).
Guess the question is, if that is what it is, do you want to be a safety net a person wants to know if is available in case their other best next thing doesn't work out?
I guess I'm in the camp that would say don't respond anymore; or else put the onus on her and ask her where SHE'S at. Some of the risk and vulnerability has to be on her; otherwise maybe find someone who is a little more committed and less scattered.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 4:57:23 PM |
I know some people might think "oh but you told her you would date her again so it was wrong of you." She has played so many mind games with me in the past that I couldn't take her seriously. If I find someone I'm compatible with I'm going to go for it now that I am single.
I'm not one of those people. You're single, and while considering hanging out with her again isn't the worst thing in the world, you are totally free to date whoever you want. You don't owe her anything...who knows what she wants. Something to do while she's got downtime?
I also don't think telling you she's dating was a threat - more like just...information. Granted it wasn't information that should matter to you, I guess she just wanted to let you know people were into her. *shrug* | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 5:57:36 PM | change all your phone numbers and tell this girl to F.O.
she is playing games and if you dont want to fall into these childish traps, keep moving ahead and dont look back!!! | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 6:30:02 PM | So, does she really want to get back with me?
The bigger question is DO YOU REALLY WANT HER BACK?
Anything else is irrelevant....
Bear in mind she probably slept with the other guy.... and do you want her back after that...? If so tell her to get tested for STD's and then again in 3 months and then she can ASK you for a date if she's still clean... Suggest she takes you somewhere nice and that she pays...
Then take it from there....
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 6:55:21 PM | OP: If she had any respect and feelings for you she would have not allowed someone to interfere with your relationship. Furthermore, she probably used it as an excuse to dump you and start dating him.
The relationship did not work out with him, she's is slowly crawling back into the picture. And you are actually asking if she wants you back?!
You said things are going really well for you so keep them as they are and end all communication with this woman. Don't allow a woman to think you are at their beck and call when they want. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/20/2010 9:08:09 PM | | She is actually much older (and still playing these games?) and has children. Oh, and the guy she left me for is married and I know his wife! Talk about awkward situation. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/21/2010 12:49:12 AM |
She is actually much older (and still playing these games?) and has children. Oh, and the guy she left me for is married and I know his wife! Talk about awkward situation.
WTF!!
You know, words fail me.
It's only an awkward situation if you decide to be in it. I'm at a serious loss at what her appeal is. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/21/2010 3:01:28 AM | #1-If you have any class at all you wouldn't break up with some one by texting.
#2-She broke up with a perfectly good boyfriend for some one who is married.
#3-she beleaves lies about you because she doesnt know you enuff to know that the lies arnt true.
#4-her mind games are weak and uneffective and insult your intellegents.
#5-see number 2.
Do your self a favor and dump the stupid biitch before you REALLY get burned. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/24/2010 12:09:14 PM | I am in a similar situation. My ex broke up with me almost a month ago, but when it seems as if I am ready to move on, she will be nice for a few days and then return to being a goof. We did not end on bad terms. She said it was schedules and distance when we only live 45 minutes from eachother.
In your situation I would be careful because if you went back to her she may do it all over again. You may be a safety net to her. She would date others and come back to you if those relationships failed. One mistake you made is telling her that you were on a date with someone else. It is none of her business what you are doing and vice versa.
You are doing nothing wrong by dating other people. Maybe she does want to get back with you it's hard to tell. She was just trying to make you jealous by telling you she was getting ready to go on a date also. Good luck. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/24/2010 1:18:44 PM | You are 29 with a graduate degree and you cannot process the information you have at hand? you have to ask a bunch of strangers if this lunatic is worth dating?
Call the University and ask for your money back.
1. Man texts YOUR woman 30 times a day (you do nothing)
2. Woman runs off with other guy (you wait around for a call)
3. Other guy does not pan out (big shocker he's already go a woman)
4. Woman runs back to you (now your a d1ck for dating others)
On top of this you know him????? How many red flags do you need to see before you notice a problem? How many times do you accept a married man sexting your GF before you grow a set and end it?
You lie with garbage you get fleas, boy. | |
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| Texting & Mixed Signals after Break-Up
Posted: 11/24/2010 3:01:13 PM | She still wants you. She broke up with you for some reason, can you both accept past problems, and get together again? You might need to talk to her in person, if you still want her.
Is she a little unstable emotionally, or immature, or are both of you kind of immature right now? If she is unstable emotionally, where she goes from one extreme mood to another inexplicably extreme mood, and you don't know why--she could be a liability to you, and it might just hurt you all the time to be with her.
But I don't know you, i'm just trying to provide a level-headed opinion for you besides knee-jerk ones such as, "break up with her now! run! she's poison! I'm the ladies man, I should know!"
There's too many of those that answer, and I don't believe it offers real-life advice
that can help you. After all, you once loved eachother and you know eachother the best.
Maybe you and your former girlfriend's social scene is poisonous to relationships?
It sounds like she's jealous of you, and that could be a good sign if you are still wanting her. Maybe get away from these "friends" yourself that slander you, and try to take your woman. | |
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