| | Is common courtesy extinct?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | I am beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as common courtesy any more? I work with the public on a daily basis and it just floors me as to how rude and self centered we have become. I watch people order there food and not even say thank you I will hold the door for someone and they look at me like it was expected.
Have we really become so caught up with this instant gratification and me me me all the time. That we have forgotten how to be a little bit gracious.I really don't think its so hard to say please and thank you or even a nod of the head will do. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/11/2010 11:22:26 PM | It's not extinct, but the powers that be are trying very hard to make sure it is.
Divide and conquer.....inch by inch... | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/11/2010 11:36:19 PM | Common courtesy is very much still around.
I even practice common courtesy myself, and even made a habit out of it.
However, we will always come across the pricks and asswipes.
I even find it rude when people don't say bless you after I sneeze, but that is just me. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 1:42:55 AM | | I'm 59 years old and I've heard this being said every since I was a little kid. Having read some things from thousands of years ago, it was being said then too. So why would anyone think that there once was a world filled with common courtesy and now it's gone? Can we not learn from the past instead of thinking every thing wrong is just suddenly happening now-a-days? I see rude people all the time too, seen them all my life, but I also see a lot of nice, polite people everyday. Maybe you are always looking for the negative? | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 5:28:52 AM |
Is common courtesy extinct?
Given that it's not very "common," if it isn't extinct, it's on the endangered list. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 5:44:55 AM |
I am beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as common courtesy any more?
Lol, of course it's not extinct. You are still practicing it right, I show manners, so no...as long as there is one person doing it, it's not extinct, if it was extinct nobody would even notice it. Another thing, I'm not trying to make excuses for a$#holes but you know people have "a lot" on their minds and we are all different and react to things differently, so don't take it personally. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 6:27:19 AM |
Given that it's not very "common," if it isn't extinct, it's on the endangered list.
It's not that extreme. Nothing has changed on how people act and interact, only the times. Maybe the rude just outnumber the courteous now.
I even find it rude when people don't say bless you after I sneeze
I would bless you if you sneezed. Although with a twinkle in my eyes, I'd probably say "you spewed all over me" and ask "was good for you, too?" I can be courteous, witty, and see an opportunity presenting itself when you smile and laugh. Who says that courtesy and good manners does not have its own rewards? | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 6:59:56 AM |
I watch people order there food and not even say thank you
Do they not say thank you when they order? Or when it's brought to them?
Is it fast food or a sit down restaurant?
Is the person taking the order kind of pissed they are at a menial job?
Could they possibly be saying "thanks" or it sounds more like "thx" really fast and low so you don't hear it?
And who should be thanked? The person taking the order or the one making the food?
Does the person taking the order say thanks? Or is it just a routine to them like they are reading off a script?
IME most people are "courteous" if they are shown courtesy by employees of the place they are spending their money.
I will hold the door for someone and they look at me like it was expected.
I'm not very courteous when people make a production of holding the door for me.
IME there are 2 types of people in this world. Those that realize there are 2 doors there and those that seem to gravitate towards the same door someone else is going through.
This always confuses me though.
Most places I go have the dual doors (if not automatic ones). If someone walks up and opens the door and makes a production of holding it for me I will studiously choose to go through the other door.
It's why it's there.
And I will give them a look like "hello idiot, there are two doors, rather than standing outside waiting for me to do something, choose a door like I just did." Rather than standing there trying to decide who gets to go through the door first.
So it might not be they are looking at you expecting you to open the door for them so much as make a decision so they can get on with their life rather than dance around at an entrance that there is no reason to.
So in a sense that is common courtesy (what you say they are doing in the OP), as they are "allowing" you to choose for yourself if you are going to open the door and go through, or open the door and let them in, they are probably (IMO) looking at you expecting you to make the decision.
Is common courtesy extinct?
Only as much as common sense. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:42:47 AM |
I am beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as common courtesy any more?...
Well maybe when you finishing wondering you will realize that it is all just a matter of perspective and the fact that you believe the world is rude, is mostly reflected in your actions and thus you are just seeing a reflection of yourself in others.
Because that is what you want or are fixated on.
Thus, you will only notice rude people and not others.
I work with the public on a daily basis and it just floors me as to how rude and self centered we have become. I watch people order there food and not even say thank you I will hold the door for someone and they look at me like it was expected.
So true, it is like when people hold the door for you and expect someone to say thank you.
Have we really become so caught up with this instant gratification and me me me all the time. That we have forgotten how to be a little bit gracious.
Where does the instant gratification come from?
I really don't think its so hard to say please and thank you or even a nod of the head will do.
It is even easier to just live your life and worry less about others and stop doing things expecting something in return.
So if you want to do something nice for someones (ie. hold a door), then do it and stop complaining about if they say thank you or not, because that is not being gracious. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 10:39:42 AM | Common courtesy, like common sense isn't.....common, that is.
Besides, there is no universal standard of what defines "courtesy". | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 11:10:04 AM | It's all in your personal mindset. If you do things for people for the sake of it, no one can disappoint you. If you do things expecting something in return - you'll get discouraged.
Acts of kindness should be done for the sake of them. That's the only way it all makes sense. Don't let how others act affect the way you do things. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 2:28:45 PM | | I agree. I try to never let someone's bad attitude affect my outcome. Yes, I do tend to think that common courtesy has gone by the wayside. I do not believe it to always be a perspective thing. Of course, businesses are becoming more and more lean meaning that the extra care given may be leaner as well. Op, I do have to let you know though... I am always courteous so when I am the paying customer who has chosen your establishment sometimes that extra 'Thank you' is very welcome. Just saying. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 6:50:31 PM | | At times I have wondered the same thing, OP. Sometimes it used to consume more of my energy than it needed to, one stranger could just piss me right off. Now I no longer worry about others and how they go about things. I still do the same as I always have, as courtesy and respect for others is ingrained and continue on with my day. If being respectful, courteous, a decent human being, etc (whether acknowledged or not) makes ME feel good, then that's all that really matters. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:19:01 PM | Interestingly, where I am at least, it seems there is more of it than there was 15 years or so ago.
People seem to interact more, be more communicative, etc. (and of course, polite)
Not everyone is courteous, but it seems to have become more frequent.
Not sure what caused this.. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:34:20 PM | I still do the same as I always have, as courtesy and respect for others is ingrained and continue on with my day. If being respectful, courteous, a decent human being, etc (whether acknowledged or not) makes ME feel good, then that's all that really matters.
Well-written and my thoughts exactly. As it reads in my profile: it's mind over matter, if I don't mind it doesn't matter. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:57:49 PM | | There are so many forces at play that have conditioned us to be selfish. We're pragmatic, stressed, fat, greedy, self-centered and inconsiderate just to fire off a few. I live in a nice west suburb, and the people here are little less rude than say, city dwellers, so geography has a hand in it, but there are so many reasons people are the way they are in this country. I hate it, but that's the way it is. It's no wonder every other country hates us. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/12/2010 10:15:24 PM |
I watch people order there food and not even say thank you
About 2 years ago i was at a fast food place in between cities on the way home and after i got my order i said "thank you have a good one" (a good day) and the girl who gave me my food whispered under her breath "yeah.... shut up"
I stood there shocked and said "excuse me... did you just tell me to shut up?" and she walked away... no explination.
I asked one of the other servers if i could speak to the manager and I complained about it.
She admitted to saying it and apologized... but she was very pissy about it. I asked her why she singled me out and told me to shut up and her reply was "Look just drop it ok?"
wtf.
Common courtesy has to go both ways. You HAVE to respect the customers as well. Not just the other way around. It sucks that people dont like their jobs sometimes.. i can relate... but don't take it out on innocent people just trying to go on with their day.
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 8:14:40 AM | Good Topic Currahee
At times, I wonder the same thing. It never ceases to amaze me that people paying for their groceries are completely ignoring the clerk and trying to juggle their cell phone, while reaching for their wallet. Not to mention the unlucky souls stuck behind this person in line, get to be privy to their convo.
I have a 22 year old daughter who has more manners than most adults twice her age. I brought her up that way and damn proud of it. Ive seen her more than once point out, with finesse, the lack of manners to someone old enough to be her mother/father.
A human being holds a door open for you, acknowledge that with a thankyou.
A human being takes your order, acknowledge that with a thankyou.
A human being is helping you in any public service situation, be intelligent and dignified enough not to be chatting away on your cell phone asking THEM to wait for YOU.
Key word here is human being. I see dogs showing more class than people at times. Damn shame. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 10:03:51 AM | | Around here people are usually courteous so it stands out when someone isn't. That's one of the things I really like about where I live. It's funny to me because I have lived places where people were rude and nobody took it personally. Here among the well mannered you have to leave time for delays caused by nobody wanting to go first, in traffic, when going through a door, when crossing paths, even when getting into line at the store or the post office. There is a ritual of stopping and inviting the other person to go first, while everyone behind you waits for one of you to generously allow the other the privilege of being second. People rush up to doors ahead of other people, but only so they can get there first to be the one who holds it open and waits to go in after. If you come out of a driveway onto a busy street, everyone stops so you can pull into traffic. When there is someone who is pushing ahead, trying to go first, go faster, others move out of the way so the person in a hurry can get to where they need to go. The main thing seems to be time. Where people are courteous they seem to have plenty of time for it, so they don't get impatient and annoyed. They stay relaxed and enjoy the gestures of kindness, as if somehow nothing else they might otherwise be doing at the moment could be better than the please and thank you. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 12:04:43 PM | | We tend to only notice the really bad apples but people today seem so rushed and stressed out that they forget to smile. | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 12:11:27 PM | OP I say carry on doing what youre doing but dont you expect your instant gratification by way of thanks from others. Do it because it's you, because it's part of your personality.
Most places I go have the dual doors (if not automatic ones). If someone walks up and opens the door and makes a production of holding it for me I will studiously choose to go through the other door.
It's why it's there.
And I will give them a look like "hello idiot, there are two doors, rather than standing outside waiting for me to do something, choose a door like I just did."
Ah-ha!! A wonderfully passive-aggressive response to a possibly passive-aggressive action. An art form thwarted when there are double doors - the passive-aggressive 'door holder' is stymied unable to test the furthest distance they can make another 'jog' to catch the door...
...as if somehow nothing else they might otherwise be doing at the moment could be better than the please and thank you.
Heman your post left me somewhat dreamy... I couldnt gauge the level of sarcasm in the post - but I liked it - but this bit did remind of the phrase 'I'm so lucky because I get to.........'. Fill in the blank with something youre (generic you) not particularly keen on doing... turns it around... | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 6:16:22 PM | Maybe it's where you live (?) People are pretty polite where I live. Not everyone but most people. Of course it's Dec. 13 and 75F today. Hard to be in a bad mood here.  | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/13/2010 7:06:30 PM | i think its a breakdown if family stuff. how many sit down every day for a breakfast and supper with kids and try to have a discussion without texting, radio,s , tv,s and video games going? The dinner table can be a great place to lay the foundation for teaching manners and respect but honestly most familys are too busy or divorced.
Watch most kids walking down the street,,, they will be swearing heads off and tossing garbage in all directions. In " the good old days" anyone would walk up to them and ream them out ..... now you would get swarmed..... | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:07:53 PM | There definitely are a lot of turds out there. Having worked in restaurants until a few years ago, I've seen a lot of them. (One, literally, left on the table.) I came to notice people's rude behavior: ignoring greetings, not saying thank you, even being rude about what you're bringing them as if YOU'RE somehow inconveniencing THEM, praying while you're holding hot plates in your hand trying to figure out who it goes to, not tipping.... I've seen almost all of it in that industry. And I see it often, now, too: in the way people drive, as if they don't care whether they (or anyone else) live or die, answering cell phones in theaters, leaving trash everywhere for someone else to clean up.... The list of rudeness goes on and on.... But that's why when I come across someone who's genuinely courteous, it makes my day. Plus, I get the satisfaction of feeling superior to those @sswipes, lol. Hey, I work for it. I have the right.
And I will give them a look like "hello idiot, there are two doors, rather than standing outside waiting for me to do something, choose a door like I just did." Rather than standing there trying to decide who gets to go through the door first.
Some people are just being polite. Is saying a simple "thank you" to a stranger really so friggin' hard? | |
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| Is common courtesy extinct?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:30:03 PM |
Some people are just being polite. Is saying a simple "thank you" to a stranger really so friggin' hard?
That was my exact same thought. And apparently it is. Being rude seems easier for people rather than being polite. Not even a "thank you" is necessary; just a sincere smile would suffice. | |
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