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 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 1
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I'm wondering how many of you are brave enough to admit what traits or life situations you have or have had, that other threads deem as issues which make you non-dateable? I'm wondering if anyone will admit to having a past, and having had sorrows along with joys, tradegies along with triumphs, failures along with successes - without worrying that makes them less than perfect.

I've been kicking around the forums for a while, and it seems to me that we expect everyone to accept our "issues", while wanting perfection from a possible date. I wonder if we take a look in the mirror - maybe we can be gentler with one another.

I'll list some of mine - lost fiancee to death (you'd be surprised how many people that puts off); not financially well off; adult son in the home. Weird family background/childhood. I also have several friends who need me - I need to be needed (OMG, is that a martyr complex)??? I tend to believe people are who they say they are, until they prove otherwise...people call me foolish, and too trusting.

Can any of you see something that would be labeled "wrong" with you?
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:12:55 PM
it seems to me that we expect everyone to accept our "issues", while wanting perfection from a possible date. I wonder if we take a look in the mirror - maybe we can be gentler with one another


Yes, I'm too smart too cool and too tall..

We are the entitlement generation.. We demand near perfection in our fantasy mates..

But taking time to truly get to know someone who manages well despite their imperfections, sometimes love can grow as you see the wonderful human being inside overcoming them...

How many of us could stand being around someone who had to be practically perfect in nearly every way? (Or who demands that everybody think so..)
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 3
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:14:10 PM
*Sarcastic

*Blunt

*dont sugarcoat

*i can be facetitious,

*Sometimes i am immature, and tell people things that i should be polite and not say. Im like that little kid that says "mom that guy has no legs" or 'dam you're old"

*I wont hesitate to call someone out. I have a fighting spirit!

*Overweight (theres lots of men who like voluptous bbw booty though, i have never lacked for dates or boyfriends or marriage proposals)

*Widow

*Sometimes i put up an icy front b/c i have been dissapointed before.

*im prone to depressive moods at times.

*I had an awesome husband so it might be a bit hard for someone to live up to his awesomeness

*2 kids (my kids have been fully accepted and loved by men in my life, so to me and the men i have chose its a plus, but i know it would be a negative to some. So i choose men that like and dont mind children and that i think would be good in their lives when looking at long term potential in a man)

I have been lucky enough to have men in my life who embrace everything about me, the good the bad the awesome and the ugly, and i am very blessed in the romance dept.
Yep i have faults, but i still have standards and things i will not tolerate. I know wht i want, and what i dont.

And for the few bad things i can think of, i can think of 1000 good things
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 4
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:14:52 PM
There is nothing wrong with me. Have I had issues I hade to overcome? Yes. I am a human being and anyone who has lived, has had an issue or two.

I think we spend way too much time checking off lists nowadays as to who has overcome what.

Life is all about getting up and starting fresh everyday. If people cannot accept your issues or 'baggage', who cares? Others will and they are the ones you want around anyways.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:15:10 PM
I can a make list of things that would make me un-dateable.

Having a bad temper is one of them, but, of course, I don't display that in the forums and on my profile.

I am also immature, hella goofy, too sarcastic, play too much, too child-like, blunt, etc. The list goes on.

 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 6
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:15:52 PM
I'm hoping that the man of my dreams sees my every little quirk as delightful and endearing so I am not going to admit a thing.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 7
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:24:23 PM
nahhh, Im perfect..... a perfect pain that is.

Hmmmm Ive been told im stubborn, Im a capitalist ( I have no use for socialist/socialism)
Curse too much at times ( but never around kids)
Sarcastic
dont like inbred hillbillies
Im not courteous to people I dont like, I cant hide the fact if I dont like you.
 Hench4Life
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 8
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:27:05 PM
Most people have issues or aspects that they can improve. Myself included. I respect people who have the guts to admit them. I personally don't expect somebody to be perfect. In fact, it makes me suspicious when people seem like they are. Unfortunately, in online dating there's so much BS, that people act like they're selling/buying a car, as opposed to dealing with actual human beings.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 9
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:29:56 PM
I'm too modest.
 FranklinLA
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 10
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:35:38 PM

lost fiancee to death (you'd be surprised how many people that puts off)

- Why is that a put off? The only thing I would guess would be because you could never compare/compete to someone who passed away. It's not like an ex who you left...


not financially well off; adult son in the home.

- Not so bad. Show's you're a mother. Pretty hard to have 'alone' time I guess.

I have trouble making connections with people. When I get with new women I treat them like I treated my ex (first love) and I go all out. I make them 'fall in love' with me by my actions towards them (notes, love letters, poems, texts, long conversations etc) but I never feel that way towards them. You could say I lead them on, but it's not my fault I don't feel anything. I'm waiting to feel something but never do. So if I don't feel anything after a while (or feel feelings as strong as they do) I just stop communicating with them. Cold turkey. Sucks but it is what it is.

No, I don't have fear of commitment. I just don't want to be committed to someone I feel nothing for. Oops. I'm undateable because I'm a boy, flake, play games, afraid of commitment, etc.
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 11
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:43:29 PM
Flaws of personal appearance, mistakes we have all made, fears, personality quirks, bad habits, all can be dwelled upon and picked apart till you work yourself into a cynical, or depressive state. Now seriously working on the things you know you can change, remaining progressive and upbeat regardless, is how I maintain (most days). No matter how much you want to go back in time and change what you did or didn’t do, you cannot. But learning from my mistakes and realizing who you are and having an image in your mind of an attainable goal, or goals, is how I choose to live. I cannot worry about what others think of me or may believe me to be. Sure I have days where I’m tough to beat. Then again I have days when I feel overwhelmed. But beneath all the stress of work and daily life, I know what makes me, a happy me. Everyone alive has an expiration date. Who knows, it could be tomorrow? Nonetheless, do what you can, when you can to the best of your ability and don’t stress over imperfections. I believe it was Ben Franklin who said, “If you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 12
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:44:20 PM
One woman's ""issue"" is another man's treasure....

Some issues are fairly universal - but there's always someone else out there who might work better with someone...

Even in self destructive behaviors!! lol


My only ""issue"" right now is I began smoking a couple years back.

I've been working on stopping smoking and some ladies are ok with it, others have shut me down-

I could go on and on about other things about me that currently I would have thought would make me undateable...many of the things that women on here have screamed to high heavens were ""undateable"" yet, I have had some very beautiful, nice girls on here want to date me.

So it really is subjective...person to person...
 thetrick123
Joined: 7/16/2010
Msg: 13
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:45:46 PM
I have been told I can be opinionated, thats their opinion...right?
I try very hard not to be too judgemental of others, less they judge me as well!
I have been told I look like a B!tch a good portion of the time (not smiling enough)
I spend wayyy to much money on hair products and hair cuts as well.
I worry too much about how I look to the world...physcially that is.
My savings account balance is not where it should be.
I spoil my son rotten
I really dislike people who are always negitive.
I dislike others who are always complaining about their aches and pains!!!
I smoke
I swear too much
My butt isn't as firm as I would like it!
And the list gos on and on.....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 14
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:48:44 PM
I suspect that people who have lists of issues that they check off when looking are those who have failed to get over their own past experiences. After all, everyone is unique, and whatever "issues" they may have, in your opinion, they may or may not handle them the same way you experienced it in the past.

To be "undateable" because of other peoples perceptions of one's past is somewhat bizarre. Unless you put your issues out there all the time, who would know you had them, unless they are blatantly obvious.

If you have been in a long relationship, it will take a long time to eliminate all the habits, ideas and responses you have developed, and until you do, you will have your own issues. A new relationship is a creative thing, and as such, you can not really know what it will be. What you "know" from the past is only how you and some other people created a past relationship. In that sense, it not really useful knowledge. Its only a set of well ingrained habits and reactions that were possibly the cause of negative experiences in the past. You really should work to get rid of those bad habits and strive to work with a new partner to create new ones that hopefully will result in positive future experiences.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 15
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:49:05 PM
Who is claiming they don't have issues,baggage and things wrong with them? We all have issues.I certainly have my share and many have found me undateable for them.I don't hold that against them though.My own issues are tough enough for me to deal with so I don't expect or demand everyone find me dateable.One person is good enough for me.


People we meet look at each of us individually and deem whether or not we are dateable to them not whether we are undateable to everyone in the entire world.When we meet people we view and deem whether or not they are dateable for us as well.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 16
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:55:22 PM
I'm pretty much on the next to lowest - lowest in terms of desirability in a date.

While there are a few things I could do to up my level of dating desirability, those few things wouldn't be worth doing for that outcome alone. There are many more things that are completely outside of my control and I have no need and little inclination to focus on them.

None of which speaks to my ability to have and maintain a loving, healthy relationship.

So I'm completely okay with those that weed me out quickly in the dating process. I'm happy to do the same. I don't want gentleness and fake acceptance just because someone else is willing to accept their issues and ready to settle for what they think they deserve.

I think it's great to be self aware enough to understand realistically who you are and what you potentially offer. Letting that knowledge pigeonhole you can be just a detrimental as being completely delusional.

LOL, listing a trait and then immediately justifying it isn't really accepting it as a flaw. It just means you accept the justification and don't want to or don't understand how others see it as flaw.

For many months I had on my profile "reasons to date me" and "reasons not to date me". I got many more dates when I had both up but those many more dates were much less desirable in terms of what I want in a partner.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 17
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 1:56:53 PM
I have trouble making connections with people. When I get with new women I treat them like I treated my ex (first love) and I go all out. I make them 'fall in love' with me by my actions towards them (notes, love letters, poems, texts, long conversations etc) but I never feel that way towards them. You could say I lead them on, but it's not my fault I don't feel anything. I'm waiting to feel something but never do. So if I don't feel anything after a while (or feel feelings as strong as they do) I just stop communicating with them. Cold turkey. Sucks but it is what it is.

No, I don't have fear of commitment. I just don't want to be committed to someone I feel nothing for. Oops. I'm undateable because I'm a boy, flake, play games, afraid of commitment, etc.

No
Your just too busy being who you were
You cant see who your with
JMO

Of course I could be wrong
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 18
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:03:30 PM
Can any of you see something that would be labeled "wrong" with you?


My best friend once told me " I never have to worry about where I stand with you, you will always let me know". I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeves, if something is bugging me I don't know how to hide it. You annoy me or I have an issue with you, I have no problem letting you know exactly how I feel.


I also tend to formulate opinions about people very quickly. I will make up my mind within minutes of meeting someone if I'm going to get along with them or not. Once I form that almost instant opinion, it's almost impossible to change my mind.


I tend to be blunt, almost bordering on cruel sometimes, so be very careful when asking my opinion on certain things unless you really want to hear the truth. But then again this is nothing new to posters who have read some of my posts in these forums.
 coffeeteaorme123456
Joined: 10/21/2010
Msg: 19
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:05:43 PM
..
My ex used to say, "girl, you are a diamond in the rough....a real hidden treasure".
sigh... a jewel hidden all right,.... Hidden behind my butt, boobs, stomach..
..................
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 20
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Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:09:03 PM
I've admitted mine on here many times. I'm easy to get along with but I love my solitude and won't ever be around for those who must have daily contact or want to do coffee get-togethers, I hate the phone and while I can talk for hours if forced, I will not be answering it on a daily basis. I'm opinionated but not pig-headed. I won't be spoken down to and I know passive/aggressive BS when I see it, so don't go there unless you want to be called out. I cannot stand the sight or feel of muscle bodies, creeps me out, looks so deformed. I don't answer emails or chat requests from people I don't want to talk to and never if someone is hitting on me calling me Babe or beautiful or hot, etc., waste of my time. I'm easy to date but it would be very rare that I would want to be in a relationship and I'm a horrible wife for most as I love my solitude. I'm also a lousy housekeeper and I like sitting in front of the computer or TV in sweatpants or jammie pants and I don't own a dress, nor do I dress in anything other than casual to sloppy. My childhood was full of sexual abuse and I carried baggage for years, my past is ridiculously screwed up and I really don't care to discuss it because it's not fodder for others to analyze, I've already dealt with it. I'm a pretty nice person, people often want to be my friend but I am not good for anyone who needs attention because I love my solitude. I have one grandchild, she's my heart, I would drop anything with anyone just to giggle with her. I'm lousy wife material, so really also lousy girlfriend material but you could be fooled because I am so easy to get along with. Did I mention I love my solitude? Oh and I purposely didn't paragraph this because really, who wants to read it?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 21
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:10:20 PM
I've been compared to the character HOUSE on tv. They say I'm a lovable smart azz!!!LOL
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 22
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:15:13 PM
Who is claiming they don't have issues,baggage and things wrong with them? We all have issues.I certainly have my share and many have found me undateable for them.I don't hold that against them though.My own issues are tough enough for me to deal with so I don't expect or demand everyone find me dateable.One person is good enough for me.


People we meet look at each of us individually and deem whether or not we are dateable to them not whether we are undateable to everyone in the entire world.When we meet people we view and deem whether or not they are dateable for us as well.
^^^

I come across as arrogant and abrasive, although I have a softer effect in person and I'm sure we all do. Yup, lots of history. Rough past; don't try to hide it. I don't beat people on the head with it, don't bleed on them. Not trapped by self pity.
My social circle is people on the margins or people who have been there. Margin meaning fighters and recovered addicts and people of that ilk.

Now to address the above quote: you make some pertinent points moonlight, it is an INDIVIDUALS choice who they date. That's why conducting a referendum on a polarized thread about the social fitness of a marginalized and stigmatized group of people may be offensive to some.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 23
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:23:50 PM
My worst flaw is also my best! lol

I'm impatient. Extremely impatient. When I want something, I want it now!! However, since I've always gotten what I wanted...it hasn't posed too much of a problem

I'm also intolerant of people who don't help themselves. I can't stand whining or complaining....I won't listen to sob stories and I walk away (literally in the middle of conversations) from people that start whining about something they COULD fix but won't.

I'm blunt....sometimes too much so.

I have creative ideas in my head but putting them down onto something tangible can make me lazy.

I get bored easily, so I tend to multitask on almost everything I'm doing.

I can't tolerate people that are slow to 'get it'...(but will have the up-most patience for those with a true handicap.)

Otherwise...I'm really a wonderful person with no character flaws whatsoever!! (Did I mention I'm a little vain? )
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 24
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:29:10 PM
Just going to do my list

1 I'm too much of a flirt
2 I'm a recovering "nice guy"
3 I try too hard with women I know I'd never have and not enough with women who would have me
4 It takes a while for me to trust women.
5. I need to loose my beer belly (more like mtn dew belly lol)

I'm sure there are many others but I tried to make a short list. We've all got issues and problems. It's how we deal with them that makes us unique.
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/14/2011 2:29:19 PM
I hit the delete button too soon ... causes me major grief as I have to recreate everything all over again. What a waste of time!

I swear too much (been around 18 to 20 year old boys too long).

I am very tolerant (there are times where I should have walked away sooner).

I have a tendency to listen and not tell you what I am thinking. (I find the forums helpful for this)

My daughter says that I coddle boys over girls ... I'm working on it. (Got that from my mom)

I take on too much ... then I become overwhelmed.

I have a hard time asking for help ... so I do everything by myself.

I'm a major Chocoholic!!!

I work too much.

I am playing on these forums when I should be working.

See ... now I'm overloaded with work, and where am I? Here on the forums playing.
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