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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 adam-00
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 1
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi, I was with my ex girl friend for two months, I brought her a very expensive christmas present, and It went really well we got so close. But then I had to go away with my job, and It ruined us. I got really paranoid because she is really pretty and loads of guys speak to her. We kept arguing. Then tried to make it work again and it didn't. We split up and I went to see her whilst she was at work and she wouldn't speak to me. She has blocked me on Facebook. I brought her a valentines day present, flowers and chocolates. She said she would meet up with me but not soon, She is increadably busy because she wants to go to university, and works. So she doesn't have much free time. I was wondering what would be the best way to get her back? I can't stop thinking about her. We haven't said a bad word to each other. She said it was too much too soon. What would you do? She is always on my mind. Noone can replace her she's brilliant. She doesn't smoke, doesn't swear, lots of fun. Lovely to be around. Thanks for reading.
 ReBluez
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 2
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:10:57 PM
Sorry... you can't just snap your fingers and 'get her back' without doing your due diligence and helping to correct the problems of the past. I highly doubt that your going away for your work ruined the relationship.. your jealousy did, and you probably accused her of seeing other guys. Going to her work was strike number two. Then you tried to buy her back with a present, flowers and chocolates. She wasn't letting that sway her.

From the sound of it, it's you that's being immature and you need to step back a bit. Just because you can't get her out of your head, doesn't mean she even gives you a thought anymore. You need to accept that it may, in fact, be over and find a way to move on. If things aren't over, she'll let you know.. but only when she feels she's ready.


Bluez
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 3
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:14:11 PM

I was with my ex girl friend for two months



first off, she was not your gf and you were not her bf...yall were just getting to know each other and spending time with each other.


nothing you can do.

it just didn't work out into a relationship


go find another.
 xxOneWhiteRosexx
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 4
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:24:26 PM
It sounds like you scared her off.. You came on too strong, and she told you that when she said it was too much. At this point, you have to give her time and hope that it works to your advantage. It's very hard to go back once you've already made that impression.

Hope it works out for you.. but my advice would be not to wait around for it to happen. Because it might not
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 5
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:32:21 PM

I was wondering what would be the best way to get her back? I can't stop thinking about her. We haven't said a bad word to each other. She said it was too much too soon. What would you do? She is always on my mind


Listen to HER, not your MIND.. Get busy with other friends, give her space is best you can do at this point..
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 6
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:43:40 PM
Dude,

I had this debate already with a friend of mine...and we agreed that once it's over you can "almost" never go back...and the reason is that regardless of who ended it...the other one feels somehow wronged...should you try to get back together...the one feeling wronged will be waiting with a vengence for any reason to end it on their terms...it's called payback...
 adam-00
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 7
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 12:58:03 PM
would you send her message saying what you put, but how would i put it? because your advice was very wise and was correct. I was immature.
 adam-00
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 8
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 1:07:56 PM
I sent her a message saying I need to correct the problems I caused :
my jealousy ruined our relationship
i was immature you were completely in the right and if i was u i would of done the same thing.
i'm going to take a step back and find a way to move on because even thought i can't stop thinking about you doesnt mean that u think about me. i need to find a way to move on.
if you feel like things aren't over. let me know, but only when you feel your ready.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 9
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 1:08:44 PM
^^ NO Adam, you DON'T keep sending her messages!
She's told you "no" and you keep trying... which is making her even MORE sure she doesn't want you around.
It's done. No more messages. It's done. Sorry
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 10
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 1:26:11 PM
Aren't we impulsive!

S L O W D O W N

Take your time to think about things, not run off half****d because someone told you something.

My God ... and you wonder why this poor young lady decided to let this go.

You are finished with her, you will have to accept that, and if you really would like another relationship you better figure out where this impulsivity comes from.

Does the army have some counseling that you can access?
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 1:42:49 PM
Agree w/ everyone here, and OLP said it - stop sending her messages, all you are going to do is drive her away more, she told you no and broke it off, its over.

The *best* thing you can do for yourself at this point is to take your time and mature... "Kid", you're only 20, you've got some maturing to do, use this to learn and to not make that mistake again. And yes, who knows... as BBNI said its "almost" never possible to go back, but you're young - maybe in a few years you'll bump into her again, and if you've *changed* and matured, maybe that will come across to her then. But for right now, if you keep messaging her all you are showing is desperation and immaturity, definitely *not* things that will be attractive to her (or anyone else for that matter).
 ReBluez
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 12
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 1:57:11 PM
OP... what I wrote, I wrote for you to read... not for you to relate verbatim to her! What were you thinking?? Never once did I say to contact her and say ANYTHING, let alone what was written here.

Holy crap, now I sort of feel bad because I didn't put on a disclaimer of some kind.

Bluez
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 13
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 2:09:44 PM
Okay, cause you are such a young pup I'll/we'll give ya a bit of a break.

Now, remember, you (and I am sure, her too) are YOUNG. You will (and have) make mistakes concerning relationships. We all will/have. Now, with your mistakes, try to learn from them. Bluez gave ya some advice, but obviously you have not learnt from your RECENT mistakes, because you quickly turned around and made ANOTHER mistake.

The young lady in question and you were "just" learning about each other. I know you felt something that you have never felt before. Trust me, you will feel it again, with at least one other, but hopefully more than that. NOW, try not to make the same mistake that you did with the first, with the second, the third, etc,etc,etc.

Learn to enjoy and discover. And know for a fact, you will screw up along the way. It's called life, and it's called learning. There is no short and easy answer despite what you may think or have been told.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 14
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 2:16:16 PM
She told you- it was too much too soon. If you are willing to accept that you have insecurity issues an will work on them ( asap), ask her if she's open to continuing at her pace, and clarify what that is. If that's not enough for you, compromise, or move on.

I have great understanding that people have ( insecurity) issues, but I personally have a zero tolerance plan for guys who try to control me- either through attempting to exert their own insecurities on me, withholding, being pushy, etc.
We're all human and we all want to be treated w-e-l-l,,,just as you do.
 esp123
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 15
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 7:46:20 PM
Oi she is not for you to keep.

Buying her an expensive gift don't guarantee a future with her.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 16
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 8:22:30 PM

our relationship


this is the problem.



you keep talking about her being your GF and OUR relationship, etc


this FREAKS women OUT.......

O
U
T


they prefer to think THEY are in a relationship wtih YOU first...and that you don't want one with them...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 2/20/2011 9:34:45 PM
All this drama in only two months? I'd say you drove her away and you are now trying to figure out how to make it all worse. Calm down. If she's ever going to have any interest, and she may very well not ever, you have to stop creeping her out and coming at her like a dive bomber. Who would want that?

Stop treating her like an object you find hot/pretty and start seeing her as a person with lucky genes. Most women, even the really pretty ones (and that's subjective anyway) still want to be treated like a person. You didn't win a prize or earn a trophy when she dated you, you got the attention of a person. See her that way if you ever want any kind of a second chance. BUT, if you don't get a second chance, still view her with respect. Her looks don't validate your needs. She may well have picked up on why you want her so badly and doesn't like being your idea of what you see in being with her.
 LynWhos4U
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 18
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:34:44 PM
If she isnt interested in going back with you. Then you have to except it and go on with your life and find someone else new. That is interested in you. Because you cant make someone to be with you if they dont feel the same.And later down the road it just get worse for the both of you in a unstable relationship. It just sounds like she has put out her warnings allready. And your making it difficult for yourself to keep pushing.It will just cause alot of problems later down in the road. You have alot going for yourself in the future. Theres alot of other woman out there ,you just have to give it time.You will sooner or later get over her. But for wright now you need to just be cool and calm and make yourself busy in hanging out with new friends, and do new things, like going out to places you never gone before. Get your mind off her and meet new interested people. You will do fine! Good Luck!
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 19
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 4:55:14 PM
Think you should spend some time alone and work on those jealousy issues...........
 Suffox1
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 20
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 4:56:07 PM
Leave here alone, if she want to try to give it a shot again she will let you know. Other than that its a waiting game.

What you are feeling now will dull over time, not sure if that a good thing or bad thing.
 Impune
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 21
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 5:24:45 PM
6 pack OP U ever heard the expression you can lead a horse to water, however that doesn't mean its going to drink it. In your case just get a big club hit her over the head and drag her to your cave. I'm sure shell want you back after she wakes-up with a big bump on her head.

I'm sure the 6 pack young buck will get it sooner or much later.
 Interception
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 22
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 5:58:41 PM
9 Month Old Thread Guys....Move along. =)
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 23
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:09:24 PM

went to see her whilst she was at work


Dude, you need your ass kicked for that alone. Who do you think you are disrespecting her privacy like that? She should get a restraining order on you and get your arrested.

Stop stalking her.

You met and were attracted to each other, you got to know a little about each other and she didn't like your personality, she doesn't want to date you.

Grow the F*** up and leave her alone. Don't call her, don't stalk her, don't go near her work, don't email her, don't even try to contact her through friends... if you happen to see her around town, be polite and say hi and walk away don't try to talk to her.

You're not a man if you can't walk away, and knowing when you should walk is the most important part that you just can't seem to get... yet.

Walk away or get your ass kicked by one of her male friends and maybe by a few of them... if you're lucky you'll just get arrested for stalking instead and not lose a few teeth to your ignorance.

Grow up.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 24
How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:11:39 PM
9 Month Old Thread Guys....Move along. =)


I fall for that so often it annoys me, I don't even think to read the OP posting date...

We need a forum filter option so we don't even see threads started more then a month or so ago.

I still think he needs his ass kicked for going to her work like that lol
 LynWhos4U
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 25
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How to get my ex girl friend back and where i went wrong.
Posted: 11/25/2011 8:29:58 PM
WoW!!! (((Tim006))) that wasnt necessary!
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