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 Sparkly_Awesomeness
Joined: 12/10/2010
Msg: 1
Much older men approaching younger women?Page 1 of 1    
Why do much older men feel it is appropriate to approach young women for dates? I'm talking about men who are 20 or 30 years older. I have had many men approach me both in real life and on the site who are often 20 years or more older than me. Do women in their 20s or 30s really like dating men that much older than them? I realize you can limit who can send you messages, but I'm still interested to know why men find this appropriate or even desirable? I can't imagine sharing much in common with someone the same age as my father.

I even had one guy message me that had limited his contacts to women five years younger than himself. That's fine if that's what he's really interested, I suppose... But it just seems in poor taste to me.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
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Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:08:27 PM
I'm with you on this one. It's pretty creepy.

But there are young women who like older men; and older men who like younger women. I recently had dinner with a guy friend my age and his 24 year old girl friend. I guess if they find each other, more power to them. Not my cup of tea though.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:27:22 PM
This is a little confused in the asking: you are asking under "ask a Guy," but ask if young WOMEN really go for older guys. Ignoring that part, I would have thought that the fact that guys of all ages are attracted to young, lively women was as old an observation as there could possibly be. It's fundamental.
I myself have discovered, that I do NOT find the very young women all that attractive, except visually. As live humans, they tend not to have enough life-experience for me personally to relate to (that's the most common answer I've heard other OOFs and OGs give to this question too). But I have observed that there are a couple of other groups of men who DO chase the younglings: those who actually want to bed them, and those who simply want to fantasize that they COULD bed them.
I have seen, as you could too if you looked, that there are young women who do indulge in older chaps, for various reasons. Stability, father issues, money, just for the heck of it, the desperate need for a new pair of spectacles. Whyacare? Adjust your mail settings, if they annoy you.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 4
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:27:23 PM
Same reason women in their 50s go after boys in their 20s... They want someone young, younger ... full of life. Who would want a woman going through menopause ? or a guy can't get ready without a blue pill ? ...

You should see how many women in my area alone listed in their 30s but then say they're actually 45-55 in their about me section. And usually the reason is " I look and feel much younger "...

hmm... I feel 19 but you don't see me chasing college girls... .

Anyway. Nobody wants to get old... or admit it, face the reality... that's why.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 5
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:52:39 PM
OP- because it does happen. there are women who DO actually want a man who is their father's age as their man.

additionally- there are women out there who WILL be with an older man, in a sugar daddy situation.


Thing is, you are a woman of legal age and tender.

Maybe he wants more children?


If you find it creepy and annoying, put an age filter on your preferences.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 6
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 7:56:59 PM
Cenomeno- true; however, i also feel that part of it is due to basic psychology- how someone was raised-may be looking for a father figure; might be immature emotionally (either or both parties), etc.
Some guys hit on younger women because younger women tend to be a bit naive. If they send enough mail out they will usually find a taker.
 ferfoxache
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 7
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:22:03 PM

Why do much older men feel it is appropriate to approach young women for dates?

Because it's legal (assuming they're of legal age).
Younger women are pretty.
Who said the guy thinks it's appropriate, maybe they just want someone new and unlike anyone they've dated in a long long long long long long long long time.
Maybe they like living down to the idea of being lecherous.

Because some younger women like it.
Because you never know unless you try.
Because old men like hats, and some women like to wear hats.
Because they feel old and want to feel something young.
Because they tried their own age, that didn't work, so why not try something else, hey, I know, I loved dating in my 20's, so lets go after those in their 20's.

Because they want to start a "mutually beneficial" relationship.
Because they know it will fail, and they don't have to deal with a level of advanced jadedness and cynicism.


I have had many men approach me both in real life and on the site who are often 20 years or more older than me.

The scary thing is (with the exclusion of this site) so have I.
Be careful what neighborhoods you work in too.
The worst was this guy that looked like Dr. Moreau, complete with his own filipino midget helper, used to hit on me all the time at this little coop video store I worked at. It creeped me out to hear the bell over the door ring followed by "well hellloooooooo, so you areworking here today, oh lucky me, mmmmm...did you sleep well last night? Oh it's so hot here, I sleep nude...what do you sleep in, hmmmmmm? Oh you're blushing, I have some cream for that, hnyeh."

Also making the rounds occasionally was the local nudist in tiny jean shorts that used to have his own cable access show where he read prison man on man sex poetry while flashing his home phone number at the bottom.

Other than that, it's kind of flattering they'd risk the taboos.
It really only gets creepy to me when they start offering money.


Do women in their 20s or 30s really like dating men that much older than them?

Some do, some don't.
I think the guys might approach it like the advice my father used to give me "go down to the mall and ask every woman you see if you can fondle her tits. 99% are going to say no. Ignore them, you are looking for that 1%. Life's about taking risks. Here's $5. Don't come back before 9."

And there have been forums started about how a younger woman can be taken seriously chasing older men, how to get around the age restrictions for someone older, why it's bad to like older men, and some others.


I'm still interested to know why men find this appropriate or even desirable?

Really? You really can't figure out why a guy would go after a younger attractive woman that is pleasing to the eye, full of vitality, and youth, energy, and smiles?
Or maybe you can look at it like this. What's cuter and what do people generally want, to adopt the stray dog that does nothing but sleep, or a little puppy?


I can't imagine sharing much in common with someone the same age as my father.

Don't you love and respect your father? Do you look at him and just say "ew, you're gross dad" and then run away on him when he came to visit you on his birthday?


I even had one guy message me that had limited his contacts to women five years younger than himself. That's fine if that's what he's really interested, I suppose... But it just seems in poor taste to me.

Um. Not sure I quite understand this.
I have to assume you were nowhere near within five years of his age and he was like ancient? Like the evil wizard guy in Big Trouble in Little China?
Or is even five years bad to you?
My grandparents were 15 years difference in age, but she lied about how old she was (she said she was older) and he didn't know until they were married.
 Sparkly_Awesomeness
Joined: 12/10/2010
Msg: 8
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:29:53 PM
Igor, you're right... I asked three questions, one of which should have been asked to the girls. In truth, maybe what I meant to ask is "why do old men really think young girls want to go out with them."

I asked the guys because I already have enough girl friends of my own age that teach me all the reasons girls my age do ridiculous things. What I really want to know is the opinions of the men who ask these young girls. I really have a hard time understanding how a man that much older could even respect himself. Thank you for your opinion though, and for teaching me a valuable lesson about considering every single possible way a post could be taken before posting it.

Also, I never said it annoyed me, so why is everyone so defensive about it? I only ask because it interests me. It may be a novel idea to some, but there are people out there who ask questions about how the world works just because they're interested, not necessarily because they have some sand in their panties about it.

Liek whao. XD
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 9
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Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:31:36 PM
I would suspect that it's because some older men enjoy the company of younger women. As time goes on, we are faced with the hard reality of getting older and, it is not surprising to imagine that older men would like to touch the fountain of youth by trying to spend time with a younger woman.
 ReBluez
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 10
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 8:55:40 PM

I really have a hard time understanding how a man that much older could even respect himself.

Obvious disdain on your part, which is why you created the thread. You stated as much in your opening post.

Then you say:

I only ask because it interests me. It may be a novel idea to some, but there are people out there who ask questions about how the world works just because they're interested, not necessarily because they have some sand in their panties about it.

This is the BS line created because your thread didn't get the initial reaction you wanted.

give someone enough rope and they'll eventually hang themselves.


Bluez
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 11
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 9:23:50 PM

Why do much older men feel it is appropriate to approach young women for dates?

Because some of them say yes?
 Sparkly_Awesomeness
Joined: 12/10/2010
Msg: 12
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 9:27:58 PM
I'm pretty sure I would be disgusted if my father hit on me, yeah. Seriously you consider the respect of a father the same as any man his age?

No disdain here, sorry. More general amusement to be honest, thanks for playing.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 13
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 9:55:01 PM
^^^^actually- I sense a bit of intrigue in your thread here.


forget about your daddy.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 14
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 10:27:05 PM

"why do old men really think young girls want to go out with them."


Huh? Men don't assume anything at all. We ask women out to find out, instead of sitting around all day wondering "why....why...why....". Men get up off their seat and go find out.
A man wants a date, he asks a woman out.

On the flip side, young women flirt with men of all ages. Some seriously want a date or a husband, others are just playing games and trying to hone their skills at attracting men, trying to see what works. So ONE ANSWER to your question is that SOME WOMEN LIE TO GET ATTENTION, then they run away.

If you don't like older men, say NO every time they approach.
Avoid places that are full of old men, like golf courses and fishing lakes.
Don't talk to old men - EVER.
Practice the hand-to-the-face, the finger-wag and the chicken neck. These moves will send men running almost every time, even young men.
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 15
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/2/2011 11:24:15 PM
This would be sometime early on in maybe 1990. I was visiting Eddie, the black guy from the Buddhist centre, my pot connection; I was visiting him at Turtle Rock, the east side quad units.

We were sitting on a porch by the side of the east driveway and a car pulls in; rolling slowly in. It's a red Pontiac Fiero, one of those great mid engine cars that weren't so great.

The driver is a white guy, a really big man; he’s tall and fat. Like 300 plus lbs. He's got a full gray beard. This guy is in his late fifties or older. Sitting next to him is a small, slender white girl, with black hair, early twenties, no older, with a permanent pout.
His car has personalized plates reading, "Sugar Daddy."
He dumps the girl off. Eddie is bemused. He tells me the guy has girls like that all over the complex.

Later on, sometime later, I got a guy on my table at Caesars; this is when I was massaging. This guy gets on there and I get started. He sighs, "My wife doesn't understand me." I think about big fat sugar daddy. I tell him, "Take your money; if you got any, and move here. You will get all the understanding you need." I start telling him about fat boy.

Of all the guys I worked with as a dealer, as a masseur, I can think of less than a handful that actually lived with women; that had committed relationships. The town is not really conducive to much more than immediate gratification.

Of course, YOU already know this. YOU know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. You are clued in and hip to the stylish cynicism of Las Vegas. You know but you don't know sh1t.

One of the reasons that I finally pulled away, that I auto destructed there is that I didn't want to end up with the kind of corrosive despair engendered by being that kind of user. That's a death within life. That could be a journey, a choice. If we got multiple lives, why not waste one? But anyway, I figured I could rise from the ashes of my wasted life and somehow, someway, somewhere make a difference.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 16
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Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/3/2011 12:37:13 AM
boon's on top of this one. op wants a little something to make up for that daddy hole in her heart, and is here to find out how they can do without her so easily.

exceptional men don't have to settle for less than young, hot and sharp, sugar. i suspect your ticket is as punched as it's gonna get.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 17
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/3/2011 12:59:06 AM

Why do much older men feel it is appropriate to approach young women for dates? I'm talking about men who are 20 or 30 years older.

For the same reason some much older women feel it is appropriate to approach young men for dates. Because they are young and pretty and bouncy.

I have had many men approach me both in real life and on the site who are often 20 years or more older than me.

Yeah, so did I. You don't have to give in.

Do women in their 20s or 30s really like dating men that much older than them?
Who knows? Do you like them? If I remember correctly, when I was 20-30 there were some really hot 40-50-ish men.

I can't imagine sharing much in common with someone the same age as my father.

I know people my father's age who are very interesting and likable. Was your dad boring?

I even had one guy message me that had limited his contacts to women five years younger than himself. That's fine if that's what he's really interested, I suppose... But it just seems in poor taste to me.
Uhm... which is poor taste, him wanting contact with women 5 years younger or contacting you? Maybe he wanted a bite of sparkly awesomeness, eating (middle)aged meat day in and day out can become boring too....

What is appropriate or desirable to you is not necessarily the same for others...

 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 18
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Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/3/2011 3:43:57 AM

I'm pretty sure I would be disgusted if my father hit on me,


Um...rightfully so, but we're NOT talking about incest here.

OP...do you think it's disgusting if a 40 year old woman dates a 20 year old man or will she get a high five from you?

If I had the chance I'd certainly date a 30 year old woman. NOTHING wrong with that at all. OBVIOUSLY if I'm with her then she WANTS to be with ME.

GET IT????
 rocketship51
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 19
Much older men approaching younger women?
Posted: 3/3/2011 3:57:29 AM
OP...Unless it pertains to underage children, dating is an open-game situation. In my family, I've a daughter married (several yrs, and quite happily) to a man older than I, and a mother married (30 yrs now, and also quite happily) to someone not much older than I.

Had the 4 parties involved in those 2 marriages allowed themselves to be guided by arbitrary rules as to what is acceptable (age wise) ...they'd have never dated, or fallen in love, or gotten married.

None of them had any history (which might "smell" of some sort of fetish) of dating people much older/younger than themselves. Rather, they fell in love with a *specific* person who happened to be older/younger...the age was not a primary, but a secondary and unimportant factor to all (though it has all been the source of many amusing situations, but I digress....)

So, to answer your question: the men who are approaching you are likely doing so because 1) they find you (specifically) appealing and attractive, or 2) have some sort of youth-fixation. Either way, it doesn't matter why they approach you, all you have to do is say "Thanks, but not interested" and move on, as you would with any other man you find unacceptable for whatever reason (height, weight, hair...on & on.)

If you find this particular criteria (age) specially bothersome, then yes ~ putting an upper age range on who may contact you would eliminate some of your "problem," at least online. Leaving the age setting blank DOES make it appear you're open to approach by all ages !
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