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 sexandcandy
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 1
phone sex/sexting before meeting someonePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
About a week ago, i started messaging the girl on fb, my friend used to date (a long time ago, and he gave me consent)

she gave me her number, and we started texting..
we started flirting and getting to know one another a bit..then i called her 2 days ago, and ever since she's been coming on to me, and flirting really heavily

last night she was up and texted me that she wanted to play in the dark with me and all that, we got a little into sexting, but i kinda teased her the whole night until she fell asleep

i stalled on the sexting because im wondering, if i want to meet this girl in real life, should i sext her before i meet her? i feel like this could end up as a phonesex/sexting fling, but i dont want that

does sexting a person before meeting them for the first time ruin the flirting and romance?

i'm not looking for a relationship either, rather just a friends with benefits situation, so would sexting rather help me, or will it more like kill the sexual anticipation

any advice please? and have you ever met up with someone after you sexted them?
 minnow8764
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 2
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 12:16:36 AM

i'm not looking for a relationship either, rather just a friends with benefits situation, so would sexting rather help me, or will it more like kill the sexual anticipation


If you know for sure that a FWB type of situation is what she wants too, then I'd say what difference does it make if you sext now or later??? ... ..... The question that remains is: How do you know what her true intention(s) is/are??

Perhaps she could be just a tease via texting/chats but she may want something more than just FWB's. ....... Here's a novel idea: Why not just ask her??


does sexting a person before meeting them for the first time ruin the flirting and romance?


well if you are just looking for a FWB type of relationship/scenario why would you even need to worry about "romance" and the like?? .... Isn't just mutual physical attraction & desire enough?? ..... If you are looking for romance too then wouldn't it equate to wanting MORE than just being F-buddies?? ..





and have you ever met up with someone after you sexted them?


No.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 3
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 5:00:16 AM
Sexting before meeting doesn't really affect anything but the magnitude of the disappointment/excitement when you meet in person. If there's mutual attraction when you meet, your meeting will be hot. If there's no mutual attraction, the meeting will be a real dud.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 4
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 6:13:35 AM
Well, if you're both just looking for some sex… then there shouldn't be a problem. Your sex talk is basically a warm up. And to feel each other out, get an idea of what works for you.

You're not looking for a relationship, so it shouldn't really matter.
 2nd_chance_again
Joined: 12/6/2010
Msg: 5
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 9:07:54 AM
My thoughts, if she's doing this with you, who? else??????
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 6
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 10:07:25 AM
My thoughts, if she's doing this with you, who? else??????

You probably don't want to even think about that question. I never had phone sex until I was on pof and that is not a scarce commodity online. The answer is probably the same as the answer to ``How many other people has he/she set up meetings with?'' Women seem to lose a lot of inhibitions online.
 ultragain
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 7
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/17/2011 9:56:09 PM

”My thoughts, if she's doing this with you, who? else??????”
“The answer is probably the same as the answer to ``How many other people has he/she set up meetings with?''

I don’t know why those two questions would get the same answer - unless it’s “I don’t know, and nor does anybody else”.
But if we’re going to indulge in conjecture, she’s having phone sex with the same number of other people as he is – probably none at the moment.
And she has set up meetings with the same number of people as he has – as many or few as were mutually convenient, appealing, and agreeable, etc… same as most people on a dating site.
Why would having phone sex (or texting) mean anything more than that?
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 8
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/18/2011 6:10:22 AM
FB and texting.... gawd I'm glad I'm older!!!!
First response.... grow up!
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 9
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/18/2011 6:32:04 AM
@majyk1

Heh, a lot of people seem to love the whole sexting thing.
I've had women I've chatted to on here once or twice suddenly start sending all sorts of… interesting… messages.
I usually respond with how I haven't even seen them in person, so I don't need random perversions. :p
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 10
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/18/2011 6:59:58 AM
And then they wonder why people (mostly men) call them stupid names or treat them poorly. hahaha dumb azzes.
You get what you ask for sometimes.
 lifeofbrian123
Joined: 12/15/2010
Msg: 11
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/18/2011 7:26:59 AM
I never "sexted" anyone I never met, nor wish to be so. And if anyone I have never met "sexts" me, I will never sex that person. In fact, coming to think of it, I keep texting at a minimum and down to emergencies. No wonder I am bloody good in bed (and by that I don't mean when I am in bed on my own with a gadget).
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/18/2011 5:30:04 PM
No I have not, particularly BECAUSE I know what a blind date is. That's what you've got. For all you know, you are sexting with a guy. Soon, you wont know if you are sexting with a COMPUTER.
The rewards of being discrete and behaving in a mature fashion, is that you are far less likely to step into a VERY embarrassing situation, in which you discover you've been talking dirty with someone who is ACTUALLY filthy, or worse. Also, things can only get MORE interesting, if it turns out she's THE babe of your dreams.
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 13
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/22/2011 1:34:42 PM
Im 53 and over high school....if a woman wanted to chat about such things.....there are sights for that....and hands on has been way better than anything else!
 _Iconoclast_
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 14
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/22/2011 11:37:39 PM
I would much rather just have sex.

You both sound really boring to me.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 15
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/23/2011 5:43:57 AM
Exchanging sexy texts with someone I already have a sexual relationship with is fun.

Doing that with someone I havent even met would be soooo boring. I would not be able to imagine anything he said, because I have no point of reference, such as the ability to recall his touch, his scent...or anything that drives me crazy...I know alot of people enjoy it, but to me its just not fullfilling in any way shape or form to sext with someone I have no sexual tie with. I also think people are braver via text and perhaps that could lead to being let down when the rubber hits the road...anyone can text about being great in bed, but not everyone actually is...so...Id rather experience the great stuff in real life and then maybe play online/via text with him to enhance what we both would already know exists between us.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 16
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/23/2011 7:44:00 AM
Doing that with someone I havent even met would be soooo boring.

I'd disagree there. Doing it with someone you've never met has a certain element of being something illicit that can be exciting. After I know someone, I'd rather just skip the sexting/phone sex and do it for real.
I also think people are braver via text and perhaps that could lead to being let down when the rubber hits the road...

I agree with that. For some reason, a number of women I exchanged messages with here got into sexting/phone sex, but for the most part, by the time I met the ones I ended up meeting, the meeting was a let down. I think in some cases, that happens because when it comes time to meet, women feel rather awkward meeting someone to whom they've described in explicit, graphic detail what they want to do and they assumed that I'd expect them to follow through right away.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 3/25/2011 6:52:39 AM

Doing that with someone I havent even met would be soooo boring.


I am going to agree with this statement. Why? First of all, for me sex is shared intimacy. "Real" intimacy. When you are having phone sex with someone you do not know, it's all imaginary, it's all fake, there's no chemistry. Now, let's say you had met, you had the real thing, and then you did phone sex, then you can at least remember what it was to be with that person.

Also, phone sex since it's no real contact, it's more like a game, a thrill, there's very little self vulnerability. So people, men and women could be doing this with 2, 3, or even 10 people and it would be more like switching a channel.

That doesn't work for me.
 Meowkatt1
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 18
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/12/2011 7:11:45 PM
People here are very judgmental, some people like sexting and phone sex and thats not a bad thing. It is something that the older people here don't seem to be into, but younger people are doing it, and it and it can be very fun building up anticipation of a fun evening. If its going to be a FWB thing, then I like to text, since it's going to be for sex, I want to make sure we will be sexually compatible and have a good time. I don't like phone sex with someone I haven't actual been with sexually. I don't have a great imagination.
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 19
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/13/2011 4:05:12 AM
Flirtings one thing.....the actual phone sex to me is a waste of time....only happened to me once and I laughed for a week ........listening to a woman moan and talk over the phone on what she likes and does.....well.....wouldnt waste my time but everyone to their own I geuss...............
 northwoods57
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 20
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/27/2011 5:09:18 PM
before you meet them, what happens if they are not as good looking or talkative as their messages.
flirty and talking dirty over the cell, is nice, but only after you meet them.
 jblack187
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 21
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/27/2011 7:03:52 PM
In my experience, "sexting" or talking dirty on the phone before meeting will just speed things up. You can be pessimistic and say that it ruins the sexual anticipation or whatever, or you can be optimistic and say that it removes the tension and makes the flirting and whatnot easier in the beginning. You already know she wants you, so there's no reason to be nervous. If you've both put yourselves out there like that, you'll probably screw on the first date. It's not up to me to say whether or not that's a bad thing.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 22
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/27/2011 7:25:06 PM

last night she was up and texted me that she wanted to play in the dark with me and all that, we got a little into sexting, but i kinda teased her the whole night until she fell asleep

Welcome to online dating.

i stalled on the sexting because im wondering, if i want to meet this girl in real life, should i sext her before i meet her? i feel like this could end up as a phonesex/sexting fling, but i dont want that

What does one have to do with the other? If the sexting/phone sex is fun, go ahead and do it. If you can't get her to meet you in person within a week, 2 weeks max, assume she's not going to meet you. I don't think it matters much if your conversations involve sex or not. Either she'll meet you ore she won't.

any advice please? and have you ever met up with someone after you sexted them?

In a word, yes. In more detail, sexting/phone sex or at least some rather risque messaging and conversations were the rule, rather than the exception for everyone I did meet as well as several I did not meet. Enjoy it, but take it with a grain of salt.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 23
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/28/2011 9:38:55 PM
While I've flirted in text...
even sent smutty haikus in text...
I've never sext.

I mean how could it go?

MmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmmm
unnnnggg uuunnnnggggg
your text is soooo BIG!!!!

LOL
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 24
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/29/2011 3:51:58 AM
My dude,
You`re both young and if she`s into teasing you, than by all means have fun!
It sounds like she`s really into being with you and wants to make it perfectly clear to you!
Good Luck with your FWB. Don`t think that will transpire....
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 25
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 4/29/2011 4:30:54 AM
I find it wierd and any woman whos asked me to participate in sexting with respect Ive turned down....oh I might chat about what I like or ask what she likes but only after chatting for a while...and also while Im not looking for a ful out relationship...I like to feel her out and know shes in the same position in her life....but again its been my experience most on here are looking for their dream date...lol
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