| | Dont understand Guys!!Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I talked to this guy from here for awhile and then we finally met up. we went for a walk on the pier everything seemed great we had great conversation sat at the end of the pier for a while (his idea) when we got back to my car he gave me a hug and we talked for a bit longer he told me we could talk later that night if i was interested and i said sure.. never heard from him again.. why do that? Why spend all this time talking if its not someone you are intersted in. why not just say ya know you really arent my type why waste someones time!!especially when we had talked about if we werent intersted we could just tell each other? does any one have any answers for me on this!! | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 4:29:48 PM | | Some guys just can't bring themselves to tell a girl they are not interested. Most of us don't have much practice doing that. As said above if you needed clarification you should have phoned him otherwise let it go. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 4:45:08 PM |
why do that?
Why not?
He didn't rape and murder you or murder and rape you.
Be thankful, move on to the next one.
Why spend all this time talking if its not someone you are intersted in. why not just say ya know you really arent my type why waste someones time!!
Because the only time being wasted is yours.
Not his.
His time is important to him.
Not yours.
Your time is not important to him.
Or really anybody but you.
especially when we had talked about if we werent intersted we could just tell each other?
Saying one thing and doing another, holding an ideal and not being able to live up to it, being a person with a completely different online dating avatar, that is 90% of what you will find with online dating.
does any one have any answers for me on this!!
No. Just speculation.
Maybe he changed his mind.
Maybe he knew you would have a little tantrum and rant like in this thread and wanted to avoid it.
Maybe his ex called him later that night.
Maybe he was hit by a train.
Maybe the werewolf guy from the sex threads bit him and he's now living in the woods.
Maybe since you didn't call he figured you weren't interested.
Maybe on the way home he thought about the walk and conversation and it all just turned to "meh," and he thought "why do I need to call her to tell her I am not going to call her anymore? How can I break up with someone I've never even been on a date with, just a walk?"
Maybe it all just went too slow for him. Like maybe when you say "talked for awhile on here" that was several weeks and he did the math "several weeks of pointless chatting, one hour walk date. Moving on to someone more fun and wanting to date rather than chat, priceless."
Dont understand Guys!!
Nowhere does it say you have to.
Understand yourself honestly and you pretty much figured everyone else out. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 4:56:51 PM | It's not polite to dump someone during a date. Because of this, most people get dumped after the date. So, you are experiencing the same things everyone experiences. If you think about it, would you really want someone to dump you public and just walk away?
Unfortunately, dating is a rough and tumble game. Don't worry, there is also good things that happen on dates too. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 5:28:07 PM |
he told me we could talk later that night if i was interested and i said sure.. never heard from him again.. why do that?
do you not realize that women are just as guilty (if not more) of doing this as the men are?.......the details differ in that they'll supply the guy with a fake number, or they just won't return any calls.
as you were already told...the key is to better understand yourself. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 5:37:26 PM | You're asking the wrong people. Sure, people will jump in with imagined reasons but we just don't know. The only one who knows, maybe, is the one you dated.
Just because you don't understand this one date, and not the guy himself, doesn't mean you "don't understand guys". That's an invalid generalization. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 6:35:39 PM | | Better by far to find out early someone is not right for you. If this is the case it will only get worse after 12 years of matrimony, believe me, I speak from experience. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 6:51:09 PM | Many answers thus for you OP, one of which hit it on the head but you won't ever really know...even if he "tells" you later.
My guesstimates:
1. Has an SO and now feels guilty for "being" with you
2. Just wanted some attention
3. No "chemistry"
4. ______________ (fill-in-the-blank) with any excuse known to man.
Sorry you seem a bit miffed, but get used to it. Like other posters said, women do this too and it IS internet dating tangled with unpredictable human behavior...
Call back yourself...see what happens...make your decision. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/11/2011 9:10:56 PM | I'm a little confused about one thing. It seems to me, that we have to spend time with each other as a WAY to find out if we are interested. Your question appears to suggest that you think that a guy can decide BEFORE getting to know you, that he wants to spend time with you.
As for this small event itself, my guess is just that at the time, he felt good about the pier walk and talk, and later he changed his mind. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/12/2011 7:26:41 AM | do you believe everything you read on the internet? no??
then why would you believe everything some guy told ya that you just met?
a grain of salt does a real good job of seasoning your expectations.
just sayin.
try it sometime. then you won't even have to wonder why people move their lips one way and then go off and do something entirely different.
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/12/2011 11:20:16 AM | Even if you both agreed initially to say you weren't interested before you met, it's hard to say when you eventually meet. He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings. He probably should have texted you after it though, that seems a bit scummy that he didn't. Anyway, don't let it bother you, don't get to emotionally attached in the first meet then you don't have to worry. Hope your search improves  | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/12/2011 12:24:00 PM | Read the book He's Just Not That Into You. It will open your eyes, do not call him, if he was interested, he would call you and try to make a date that night.
Just move along, plenty of fish in the sea and you are worth a good man, not someone who cannot tell you to your face that you are not his type.  | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/12/2011 1:08:07 PM | | Let it go and move on. He's not man enough for you anyway. A lot of guys are complete wimps when it comes to speaking the truth. Don't worry about it. I think it's happened to everyone. A honest man is hard to find let alone one that means what he says and says what he means. Good luck in this shark tank! | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/12/2011 10:27:08 PM | | He did you a favor by not calling..God has someone better for you! This guy sounds like a creep (LIAR-and can't be trusted)- better to know that now instead of later.. But remember, rejection is part of dating...Don't let this stop you from dating others, otherwise you will never find "him". Now get ready for the next guy to date!! =) | |
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majyk1
| | Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 18 | |
| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/13/2011 2:56:16 AM |
he told me we could talk later that night if i was interested and i said sure.
If this is what you said, it didn't sound like you were really interested any way.
If you were, why not just call him, he left the door open for you with his comment. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/13/2011 3:47:53 AM |
he told me we could talk later that night if i was interested and i said sure.. never heard from him again.. why do that?
Have you considered the possibility that he ran into a schoolbus full of nuns on the way home and died?
Have you seen him online since then? Responded to your emails?
Maybe he's dead...
Not saying he is, just food for thought. | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/14/2011 11:03:22 PM |
all the bullsh!t aside... i'm a guy and have this problem all the time after the infamous first meetings.
but if i got on here and wrote a thread about it everytime it happened all the threads would be deleted as soon as they were written by the moderator's and the other poster's on here would be telling me to grow up and suck it up on top of that as they do with most other guy's who'll complain of the same issue..
Agreed ^^^
Maybe the dude has been miffed by quite a few women as well and you was his "getting even with all the women that did it to me".
Just think about the ride back to your place (if you rode together to the place). If he said he wasn't interested. Or what if you had no money for a cab and ended up having to walk home, again if you rode together. Talk about a whine fest from a OP if he/she had to end up walking home or paying for a cab/bus/metro etc, because the date wasn't interested and just left them.
Just some food for thought. So yeah he was obviously not interested and a phone call/email since you two met on here, from you would have cleared it all up...
Best of luck to everyone | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/15/2011 1:18:23 PM | | I love your comment Viper1, it has me laughing so hard! Does it have to be a school bus full of nuns, seriously, who thinks of things like that? Funny guy! | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/15/2011 1:23:31 PM | | On a more serious note, there just doesn't seem to be a "rule book". We confuse the guys I am sure as much, if not more, than they confuse us. Prior to internet dating we met in person and could decide then, is there any chemistry or not? Now, you invest time in writing, meet with expectations that the effort put in before might mean instant connect, and then you meet and it just isn't there but you care possibly enough (due to the time you wrote) to make the effort but feel a relief after you leave that it's over...but how do you tell someone that? I find it just as hard as a woman to do it and I'm sure I've left some men equally confused. It's all part of the process and you can't be faint at heart to be on here! | |
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| Dont understand Guys!!
Posted: 6/15/2011 2:50:12 PM | Hi Katie.First,thankyou for posting this.I've been in stitches for about an hour...xx
Anyway I think I agree with that Viper guy that he got run down....hahaha
Listen Katie 2 people go on a first date and each of them have 3 clear options okay..
1.Either you or him can kill the date within 30 seconds.
You made it past that.....WELL DONE..
2.At the end of the date one of can decide to kill it then or at least know that its dead..
You both turned up.You got a date.You attracted someone nice enough that clearly did'nt want to upset you...WELL DONE..
3.I noticed your joining date.Dont know if he was your first date as your a bonnie lass however inside 2 months you chatted,got to know someone and went on a date....WELL DONE...
Not a lot of people on this site can say that....xx
Not only that but you gained experience and that will make your next date even better....xx
Love the post though....Its like a tale of someone finding a bag of money and then going crazy cos they broke a nail opening the bag.....hahaha
Take care kid......xx | |
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