| | How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | I tend to Fall~in~Love fairly easily... ...which, I know, is dangerous, and has caused a considerable amount of heartache, on occasion.
It's all relative.. to the amount of time and sincere affection you two share and reciprocate..
However if you want some general guidelines.. Never say those words before a month into the relationship..
Say them if you feel it, before the second anniversary, or there may not be a third.. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 11:16:33 AM | | I just say if I feel it and whatever happens, happens. I've never had it cause an awkward situation. What else can you do? Only you know if you're in love or not. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 11:28:53 AM |
How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
IMO and IME it seems saying it isn't that hard.
The hard part is accepting the consequences of doing so.
IMO "love" isn't just a feeling like hunger you ejaculate onto the other person, it's taking responsibility for it.
So to me it seems (at least ideally, theoretically, in a perfect world maybe) you (general you, not you specifically) should answer a couple of questions before saying it.
1. Do I really love them, or just how I feel? Am I in love, or just trying to get a reaction and commitment via social obligation from them to make me feel good?
2. Do I care what happens because I said it?
Am I saying it as a reaction to something so it's just part of the feedback process, or is it a meaningful expression and communication attempt of something? | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 11:37:38 AM | I say it when I feel like it.
I know it might not be said back, but that's the chance I'm
willing to take.
It's not like saying I LOVE YOU is an instant marriage proposal
or promise for ever lasting love.
Saying I love you is really the least difficult part of a relationship imo. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 11:42:33 AM | I'm like you... either I fall in love quickly (1-3 months) or it never happens. I've haven't had a bad experience by saying it out loud whenever I felt it.
On the other side of that, I've had men tell me they love me when I wasn't feeling it. It usually brought a more abrupt ending to something that might have gone on for longer... but that's probably a good thing.
So yep. Speak your mind and let the chips fall where they may. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 1:32:53 PM | I only felt it once in my 20s for a man that was much older than me and had had a history with a long term relationship (over 10 years) so I was not sure when to say it and then I thought I would say it as im feeling it and so I did, anyway he replied, what do you want me to do about it ?
But id definately say it again if I felt that way again | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 4:54:10 PM | To my Sweetheart...I let him know how I was feeling soon on. But it was easy because his words and actions said he was feeling the same thing.
As for saying it to other people that I care about...as often as I feel like. In my work, I learned that it makes sense to let people know how you feel about them. NOT to put it off...the opportunity might get snatched away from you. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:38:15 PM | | Never before 6 months for me, and once I want to say it, I try to take another six months to a year to be sure it's what I really feel and that it's something I should be saying based on my circumstances. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/27/2011 11:19:24 PM | I would give it at least 3 months... My self depending on the person and whats going on might wait even longer. Again tho with dating I won't sleep with someone less I feel I'm in love with them first, and feel I can express such things verbally.
Keith | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 3:37:47 AM | Why are people so afraid to say 'I love you'? I say it to my friends, my family, I make sure it's the last thing I say on the phone to people I love, so God-forbid something happens, it's the last words they heard me say!
If you say you love someone, you should say it with abandon and happiness. I told my fiance I loved him early in our relationship because it was true, I put my hand over his mouth and told him he didn't have to say anything in return, that when he felt like saying it, he could. Pretty soon, he was saying it...on his own, and now all these years later, we say it all the time, and every time on the phone it's the last thing we say to one another. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:28:02 AM | I used to be _Very_ shy about saying it...even to Family...
Now...I say it when I Feel it..!!
Except, of course, when writing to someone on POF....
I know that there's only about a 10% chance that they'll respond, Anyway...so I don't go overboard until we've had enough time to get acquainted...
It only takes a couple hours after meeting before I consider saying it...
If things are going well, I'll just throw out an off-hand remark, like :
"Whew!! You're something else! I think I'm In Love!!"
If she doesn't *BOLT* , we may really have something..!!
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:32:50 AM | When it comes bubbling out - whoops, I already said it didn't I?
I try to live my life true to my heart, and I don't understand people who put a lid on what they think or feel trying to wait for the "right" time or mull things over for ages. I tell everyone I love, that I love them, often! One day, you don't know when, it may be for the last time...no regrets, and no worrying about being vulnerable.
Hey - at least I've never had a guy ask me if I think he's a mindreader... | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:37:04 AM | | Had someone say the words after 3 dates--way too soon.As I got to know him better I became aware that the only one he loved was himself-and that not very much! The friendship didn't last long! | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 11:04:04 AM |
Just say it back when she mentions it first.
Best way to know.
:-P
I have to say this is the best advice so far. I look at my past experiences, and the experiences of many men, and whenever the guy said it first, it seemed that the woman then achieved what she wanted and the relationship began to cool off. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 11:06:47 AM | I can't tell you how soon is too soon in every circumstance, but saying it the first time you have sex with someone might not be the appropriate time--I am sure some think so, but it goes along with knowing and reading the person.
Which is the answer: every situation is different and if you don't know the appropriate time, you don't know the person well enough to truly love him/her. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 11:43:40 AM |
I try to live my life true to my heart, and I don't understand people who put a lid on what they think or feel trying to wait for the "right" time or mull things over for ages. I tell everyone I love, that I love them, often! One day, you don't know when, it may be for the last time...no regrets, and no worrying about being vulnerable.
Agreed that in any other circumstance outside a so called "romantic" relationship there's no need to second guess. However for me, with a relationship I like to think before I speak. In that case, making sure I am straight about what it is I'm actually feeling and whether or not it's doing anyone any good isn't a bad thing. Few guys will walk away because I didn't say it, and a guy who's not around long isn't one I'll wish I said it to sooner. It's not about being vulnerable so much as correct and relevant. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 11:59:21 AM |
Just say it back when she mentions it first.
Best way to know.
:-P I have to say this is the best advice so far. I look at my past experiences, and the experiences of many men, and whenever the guy said it first, it seemed that the woman then achieved what she wanted and the relationship began to cool off.
Although this may be true for some PEOPLE (men and women play games with emotions and expressing them) ~ but what a shame to think in terms of "keeping score" ("Only say it after you've heard it." mentality.) It's too bad that past experiences are paid for by those in one's future so often. (OH!!! And?? Those who didn't say it first, and once heard it cooled off?? Likely weren't feeling it. Not all things have covert meanings.)
~OT~ I say it when I feel/mean it. I don't say it otherwise ~ EVER. JMO  | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 5:04:06 PM | ^^^
and when you mention it...
I'm sure the guy will say it back.
see how that works.
:-P
Look if a guy wants to just blurt it out... then he should.
but if he blurts it out unexpected....and she aint feeling it....
he will just blow it.
I think if two people communicate well that wouldn't come up.
both would know how each other is and how and when to express themselves.
But often...in the forums...some love sick puppy goes off halfc0cked with a notion he alone has....
...well I hate to encourage that sort of rashness.
If you have to ask....
probably best to wait.
If you KNEW...you'd have said it and not have to ask about it. | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/28/2011 5:41:55 PM |
If you have to ask...probably best to wait.
If you KNEW...you'd have said it and not have to ask about it.
Tis true.
You'll know it when you feel it and when you've developed a sense of having truly come to care about them in a solid way,
Based on a joint effort toward that something solid- | |
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| How soon do you know when to say I Love You!..??
Posted: 6/29/2011 10:33:58 AM | | I really like your responce! Thats why I have no problem saying it if I truely feel it. I have a funny story...my b/f has a hard time expressing himself with words which in the beginning was alittle tough. I know now how he feels without words. Every once in awhile I will tell how much I love him, he says ''I am falling in love with you'' My responce is let me know when you hit the ground...lol | |
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