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 MusicProducerLA
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 1
When to give the girl your phone numberPage 1 of 1    
What is the general consensus here. When is it the right moment to slip in the phone number in the email conversations?
I am not a big fan of endless emails back and fourth and would generally like to progress to talk to the person of interest on the phone as soon as possible.
My initial message I would try to keep brief with an interesting headline to catch some attention. Although I have heard of some men including a phone number in the initial message I feel it is too aggressive. Maybe i am wrong. What do you think?
If i get a positive response to my initial message should I give out my phone number in my more detailed follow up message?
What is your preference? Too soon?
What about giving them out your facebook info in the second email? Too much information or a good thing?

Curious to know your thoughts.

Thanks..

Johnny
 happy woodstock
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 2
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When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 12:09:37 AM
I agree that giving out your phone number in an initial message is way too aggressive and will most likely backfire. My preference to exchanging phone numbers generally happens after about the 3rd e-mail from each person. That way I can tell if there is even a good rhythm to our interaction. If it is awkward, there is no reason in wasting each other's time by exchanging phone numbers.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 3
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 12:16:20 AM
I'd say that in your second or third email or whenever the conversation seems casual, , you should say something like, ``If you'd like to talk on the phone, I'll give you my number so that you can block yours until you feel comfortable giving me your number,'' but don't actually send your number at that time. Nine times out of ten you'll receive a reply with her number asking you to call. It may take her a couple of messages to get around to it, but don't ask gain. The other one time out of ten, she'll ask for your number and may or may not block hers for a call or two. Figure on that taking maybe two days. If you don't get to the phone in a few days, assume she isn't all that interested and spend more time talking to whomever else you want to meet and keep looking. Becoming less interested tends to speed things up if she is interested in you, but slow.

What about giving them out your facebook info in the second email? Too much information or a good thing?

I consider that silly, but that's why I don't have a facebook page.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 4
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 1:01:29 AM
Dont give out your no. in the first email,but wait til you *think* she sounds like someone you'd like to get to know.

Then,suggest exchanging numbers if she'd like?

 ocean_park
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 5
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 6:40:50 AM
I agree that asking to exchange numbers in the first email is too soon. After 3 or 4 emails ( for each person ) would be good if the conversations seems to be going well.




ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE MET HER IN PERSON, and you know for absolute SURE you want to see her naked.....Thats when you say, "Here, this is my number....". And sometimes she will give you hers. OR you say , "Whats your phone number".....


I disagree with this. I usually like to have 1-2 phone conversations before going out on a date. I can determine some things about a person by phone that I couldn't do by email. Such as voice tone, ability to carry a conversation etc. Sometimes I may lose interest in a person after a phone conversation.

Also if a person is late or has to postpone a date at the last minute, then he or she may not be able to reach the other person without having their number. Thus the other person may think he or she stood them up. If someone is overly cautious about this, then buy a prepaid cell phone and use it just for internet dating.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 6
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 7:40:47 AM
In real life, before computers, you would not slip your number to someone behind a wall, whom you've never seen ,...no of course not.... you would go around the wall to see what they looked life in person first. .....

In real life before computers there were also no prepaid cellphone that could be activated anonymously. Today, you can get one for $14.00. Anyone who dates online ought to use one so that talking on the phone before meeting carries no risk. Offline, meeting, talking, deciding to exchange phone numbers is the natural order of things, since that's the only way to get the phone number. Online, the the natural order is messages, deciding to exchange phones and deciding whether to meet. Trying to make online dating follow the same structure as offline dating is just a failure to use the online medium in the most efficient way.

After 3 or 4 emails ( for each person ) would be good if the conversations seems to be going well.

Yes, but if the conversation is not going well after 3 or 4 emails, there's not much point in a 5th email, much less thinking about going to the phone. So, if 3 or 4 emails go by and a phone call is not in the near future, that's a good indication someone isn't getting the hint that the other person isn't really interested.
 musicsupport
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 7
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 7:59:05 AM
Unclezus, I would have to disagree. I have girls numbers. I don't want to see any of them naked. I don't regret having their numbers, or their friendships. I am straight.

Still all that being said, I'm not dating anyone. That's why I'm here.
 MusicProducerLA
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 8
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:36:52 AM

I usually like to have 1-2 phone conversations before going out on a date. I can determine some things about a person by phone that I couldn't do by email. Such as voice tone, ability to carry a conversation etc. Sometimes I may lose interest in a person after a phone conversation.


Ocean Park, I agree completely. It is a must to have a phone conversation before meeting in real life.


I agree that asking to exchange numbers in the first email is too soon. After 3 or 4 emails ( for each person ) would be good if the conversations seems to be going well.


Thank you for the opinion. Seems like a good rule of thumb. I guess giving out your number when it feels natural in the email conversation.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 9
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:58:42 AM

Thank you for the opinion. Seems like a good rule of thumb. I guess giving out your number when it feels natural in the email conversation.

Always remember to offer her yours so that she can call you and block her number if she prefers doing that. She'll feel much safer and be less likely to say no if you give the option to talk to you first before she gives you her number.
 GothamCityBoy
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 10
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 2:39:53 PM
Listen Johnboy !

Be polite with these girls....but keep it real too !

You step to her.....shoot her an email....she shot back....y'all chat it up a minute....then you drop your number....boom...that's what up !

I confused about the rest of this sugary nonsense u slanging !
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 11
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 6:24:17 PM
Most women are more cautious than men when it comes to giving out cell phone numbers. You were correct in saying that it would be okay if the other person were to block their number until they felt comfortable. It shows that you understand this much.

I would say that it depends on how comfortable you are with the person that is emailing or chatting with you and how the conversations are going. If you feel that this is the person that you are sure would not freak when you give them your number, then give it to her. Of course, if you have been chatting, texting, or emailing with this person ALL DAY long, giving her your number on the first day wouldn't be such a biggie. At this point, you are probably asking her out for a meet/greet.
 jeannie5488
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 12
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 7:21:38 PM
First, just my opinion, when you initiate an email to a women, and, yes, it should be brief, you will get a better response if you talk a little bit on a mutual subject (assuming you have one from the profile.) Definitely, do not send an email that just says, "HI." I cannot stand receiving email from men with one word. At any rate, a woman would be more apt to respond to you.

I would say to offer your telephone number after two to three emails, as suggested. Just a note to " unclezeus"...I would never met ANYONE, unless I had a conversation with that person first. It's insane to meet somene with talking to them, but I imagine that must be your "MO," and that is why you are on this site. :-)

Regarding Facebook, I wouldn't suggest giving that information out until much later. Maybe after a few dates, and you know who they are to the extent you are comfortable.

Good luck.
 Basiate
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 13
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When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:13:24 PM
Totally agree with the majority here...

If after a few messages and there seems to be a connection. Exchange numbers or use the call feature on this site. Hearing a voice is a big indicator for me knowing if there will still be an attraction. I can't totally explain it, but it's there.

Also, do not give out too much info! Keep the conversation simple until you meet. Even then, don't dump everything on them. Leave yourself some wiggle room for a future conversation and a second date.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:44:49 PM
There are many here who think meeting as soon as possible it the best, and that calling is much better than texting. I'm not one of them. I am not about to give out my phone number, I do not want to talk on the phone if I'm not ready, and I do not want to meet right away. That's just me. You should do things your way so that you attract women who would want to be with you. There shouldn't be any tricks to how to do things, be yourself.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 15
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/28/2011 10:08:34 PM

Just a note to " unclezeus"...I would never met ANYONE, unless I had a conversation with that person first.

I thoroughly agree with this statement.
Imagine what a HUGE waste of time it'd be to go meet someone & you discover that they're socially inept and cant string two words together and have no idea how to make conversation.
A lot of this becomes apparent over the phone when you talk to them.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 16
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When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/29/2011 12:44:23 AM
The general consensus is the general consensus but, what is YOURS?

The right moment to offer my phone number is when I feel we've reached a comfort level and when I feel we have, I do not simply provide it but rather, I tell her that I feel comfortale giving it to her when she asks for it!
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 17
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/29/2011 1:18:11 AM
What's the matter with you, Johnny? You are the guy. You are supposed to call her first. Ask for her number in your second or third email. Then call it in a few days. If she won't give it? Have a canned answer ready -- "This has been fun but I gotta move along now. The point of being on here is to meet someone and I gotta get back to doing what I set out to do. Best of Luck." That way you don't end up endlessly emailing someone who can't get comfortable with the thought of having to go to the bathroom. Be unwavering about it -- everyone has the same chances -- doing otherwise is unfair to the girls who really do want to meet someone.
 TeamBrandi
Joined: 3/31/2011
Msg: 18
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When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/29/2011 2:51:44 PM
If I'm interested even after 2 messages I'll give them my phone number or take their's, then if texting/talking doesn't work I just stop.
 catamount11
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 19
When to give the girl your phone number
Posted: 6/29/2011 4:12:29 PM
If you give out your number after realizing you both are on the same page with regards as to what you are looking for and she doesn't call/text then she really is not serious about finding someone or is just not that into you. I say by the 2nd or 3rd email.
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