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 Sonic_Eclipse
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 1
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Why did she stop messaging me?Page 1 of 1    
I've been on here for awhile now, and its really hard for me to get a response from anyone here.

Anyway, I sent this girl a message telling her that I was a huge fan of the show she had listed in her profile, I opened up the message up with a quote from a character on the show.

She messaged me back, even told me that my message had made her day and that she would love to chat with me. I then asked her how she was doing, and she did the same, even exchanged names (her being first). Me feeling that the emails were moving to slow I wanted to move the chat to IM. So I gave her my Yahoo username, but she told me she only had Skype.

Me not thinking like an idiot, sent her message saying that I've never used Skype. I probably should've just made one, and gave it to her later, but I didn't think of it till after I sent out the message. I made a Skype account, and messaged her with my username.

The thing is after I did that she hasn't message me back, and she hasn't added my Skype account. What happened? Did I creep her out?

Maybe I should have waited for her to message me back before making the Skype, but I really wanted to talk to this girl, as out interests are so close, and to top it off shes is local to me. But I didn't really see anything wrong with it. I know that shes been online, as the site this is on will tell you who's online and who's not.

I'm kinda bummed out about it because I've no success with this online dating thing, and when I thought I might have had something going here it just fell.

What do you guys think? Is she just playing hard to get? Should I give it a few days and then playfully of course asked her what happened?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 2
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 2:23:49 AM
i wouldn't ask her what happened, just send her another message and be polite, if she fails to respond then move on. You may want to remind her as to whom you are as you did tell her you didn't use skype and she may have thought it was spam requests
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 3
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 4:22:18 AM
Try again and let her know that you were the one on Plenty of Fish and that you finally got Skype. I hope it works for you. Don't assume anything about why she did not respond. Has she been back on POF at all?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 4:27:12 AM
How many minutes have gone by since then? That's the only pertinent question. Life DOES take time to deal with on occasion.

Add to that, that all you CAN do is wait, and I'd say this requires a pretty obvious response from you. The ONLY recommendation I would suggest you think about, is how YOU would react, if the moment YOU recontacted someone YOU had been trying to get back to, if THEY accosted you with accusatory questions. In other words, IF she gets back to you, just be glad she did, and shut the heck up about why she took a day longer than you wished she would have. Otherwise, you might as well ignore her, and move on.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 5
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 4:50:25 AM
there is a plaintive air of desperation about your post, like a puppy who hasn't been fed in 3 days that smells bacon.

why don't you just calm down and shake the ants out of your pants, because if you're going to be that over-eager, it will carry over into the things you say and do, and she will sense it and be turned off by it (unless she likes that sort of thing). who knows what happened? possibly... nothing except that you freaked out about nothing.

it would be okay to send just *one* more email, if you haven't already done it... and hopefully you haven't sent 10 of them... to see if you can connect by skype at a later date.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 6
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 5:00:15 AM
Why not send a message and make arrangements to meet, and cut all the e mail, Skype and artificial way of getting to know someone out of the way?

Like me, she seems bored. Oh goody, another one liner e mail or he asked me to web cam or Skype. Not happening. Meet me in person to see if there is attraction and I like you as a human being or not.

This is where people screw up. A lot of expectations used up on e mails and " what if's".
 Sonic_Eclipse
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 7
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 5:10:14 AM
Well, I haven't tried sending her another email yet. I've just been looking for advice is all.

Honestly I hate to come off as desperate, really I do. I just haven't had any luck with any girl I've ever tried messaging on here, so its hard no to worry when the one that was messaging me just up and decided to stop. I know what you mean but, I think you can understand where I'm coming from?

I sent her the message with my Skype address was Wednesday morning.

I will probably send her another email some time soon, I just don't know what to say with out coming on too strong. All I'm saying is I'd hate to see this end here because she some how got the wrong idea of me even though those weren't my intentions.
 Bandfan182
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 8
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 5:54:08 AM
I reakon, just ask her out for a date, most girls seem to want you to man up and meet face to face... you seem like a nice guy, and she probably has that vibe already, i think if you ask her out on a date, that will work for you, then the usual things to ease her mind...public meeting place in a central location...all that stuff.

dont specify a place/time until she writes back, just say something casual like, hey bla bla bla, i was thinking did you want to go for a date on the weekend?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 9
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 5:57:51 AM

Honestly I hate to come off as desperate, really I do.
That ship has pretty much sailed there buddy. If you came across to her the same way you do to us, don't expect to ever hear from the poor girl again because she is still running. Women can smell desperation the same way dogs can smell fear. Only dogs will attack, while the woman will get as far away from you as possible.

Anything you do from now on will only add to your desperation picture. I say leave it alone and hope she contact you. If she does suggest you two meet for a quick coffee or a drink.
 Sonic_Eclipse
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 10
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 6:11:30 AM
No, I don't think I came off as desperate, at least not in the beginning if at all.

Its hard to explain, I guess I'd have to show you the messages but, I don't know if thats a good idea.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 11
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 6:56:19 AM

I guess I'd have to show you the messages but, I don't know if thats a good idea.


That would be a very bad idea. You don't share personal messages on public forums.

You offered her your Skype now leave that lay too. If she wants...she will do it.

You could send her a message. I guess I would ask her if she wants to meet at some public place for coffee or whatever. You should know within 24 hours if she has no interest, lost all interest or is interested.
 oldsoul_new1911
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 12
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 7:39:32 AM

What do you guys think?

What do you mean?
She told you what she wanted.
She'd love to chat.
You chatted for a bit.
There was nothing there for her to want to do more.
So she stopped doing anything more.

If she was into you, she could have also downloaded yahoo messenger, found some way to facilitate further interaction...I mean it takes a couple of minutes and you can delete it off your computer when you are done if you want to.
She's just not all that interested.


Is she just playing hard to get?

I don't know.
With 3rd hand vague information how can you tell if someone is playing hard to get, is hard to get, or just has a short attention span?


Should I give it a few days and then playfully of course asked her what happened?

So basically play games? Pretend like it doesn't bother you, even though it does?
Wait a few days pretending like you have a life, when really you don't?
Pretend like it doesn't bother you that much, even though it does?
 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 13
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 9:47:09 AM
Just leave it alone....
 johnnyj218
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 14
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:12:39 AM
I say grow a pair and move on! How many time are we going to cry because someone didn't reply? Boo hoo, get over it. It's the fricken internet, what do you expect?

Honestly bro, she probably noticed after conversing with you that you're short and guess what? Instant deal breaker. I get that all the time and so will you.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 15
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:17:22 AM

No, I don't think I came off as desperate, at least not in the beginning if at all.

Its hard to explain, I guess I'd have to show you the messages but, I don't know if thats a good idea.
It doesn't matter what you think? its matters what it is, and what is that?
She lost interest in communicating with you its that simple, it happens.

Its time to move on Slick, she has.
 thesilverdevil97
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 16
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Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 12:26:53 PM
Just move on, but fix your profile. It is rather lackluster.
 Badyear1985
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 17
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/22/2011 1:47:21 PM
I had the same issue with the only person who has spoke to me on chat on here before lol. Sent her email message, got one back, started chatting on chat, similar interests, both got 2 kids, etc, she said 'afk' brb 5 min or somin, then never spoke to me again lol. i sent her a couple of messages since then at random points, but no luck! Guess she was just bored and wanted someone to talk to at that point in time, same for you maybe.
 -metal4life-
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 18
Why did she stop messaging me?
Posted: 7/25/2011 10:07:39 PM
Cuz she found someone better cut and dry. Not sayin you're inferior in any way, we all have our issues. But ya gotta understand chics today don't have to go an hour single if they don't want to. It's a whole different dating world for them than us. We use dating sites because our game sucks, they use it as an ego booster and to see the hottest guy around. We have, since the beginning of time and our overactive libido, been granted the shitty end of the dating stick.

My rule is never stress or think too much about one girl. They can sense when you actually care and they run for the hills. Chalk it up to her ineffective judgment of character and move on.
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