|
|
|
|
|
| | Beauty over age 45Page 1 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | I was just reading another thread and thought, 'Why does beauty have to equal youth?' Do you think that anything will ever change that standard? Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it. Women seem to have a shelf life. Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there. And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list. Is it age, beauty standards, or what?
To all particpants - Read this Advisory first before replying
|
| |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 11:54:44 AM | "does beauty have to equal youth?"
In most cases it's true, everybody looked better at 20 than 20 years later
there are some that look better when they are 40 but it's not the rule
I've seen pictures of guys who are 55 years old now,when they were 18 or 19 and it is like
a completely different person,
they were stunning when young and now they just look like your average granpa.
So it happens to both men and women
except
Women have make-up and botox and HAIR to help
Men, lose their hair, their noses and ears grow with matching nose hairs
and seldom do botox and surgeries to keep up
with someone their own age
"Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it"
It is a luxury because EVERY time you see an older guy with a significantly younger woman
EVERYBODY knows HE is paying to have her near him.
Guys think he is the man, never mind he is paying her rent. car payments and other
Women think what a sap
Every time I see that happening, I know there is a sad man thinking he can fool himself
into thinking that woman actually likes him .
Nobody thinks "Ohhh look at that 30 year woman old with a 55 year old man, that must be LOVE"
"Is it age, beauty standards, or what?"
No, mental age, I would say
Men who date younger THINK they look younger by association
It ain't happening 
They look like uncle Tom is taking his niece out for ice cream
But
That's never going to stop them
At least you don't have to date the old man
who thinks he is so cool, dating someone who has absolutely
NOTHING in common with his dates
What do you want to do? | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 12:12:40 PM | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or beerholder in some cases, I think what you say is true to a degree, but those men that seek the younger women are the type of guys that has a hard time accepting getting older, I think most women that accepts getting older has a better view on life and relationships.
The standards in beauty is changing by the minute, Twenty years ago in Hollywood, if you were in your mid 30's you were offered Mom, Aunt , Bigger divorced sisters roles, today is different, you have the Helen Mirren, Sophia Lorens, Susan Sarandon are still getting leading parts, things are changing even on the men side, Clint Eastwood is still going . | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 12:34:13 PM | | When I was in my twenties I had a hard time finding any "older" woman desirable. Now days while I admire the beauty of youth I find myself more attracted to the beauty of age , and the wisdom that comes with it. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 12:35:20 PM | 'Why does beauty have to equal youth?'
it doesn't "have to". those are merely the choices most people make.
Do you think that anything will ever change that standard?
it's doubtful, but i think if all people between 18 and 40 died tomorrow from some mysterious plague, the rest of us would be forced to settle for older standards of beauty. and the fact that the american population is basically aging means there will be many more of us around to appreciate whatever is attractive about getting old. so if there is any comfort in numbers, we will not be alone in pondering these sorts of existential questions while having Hoveround races in the Wal Mart parking lot. *snort*
Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it.
old guys going out with younger women usually have a lot of wealth and/or social status on their side, otherwise younger women would have no reason to date them, so it works both ways. so yeah i am sure clint eastwood is not having a problem. the only difference between men & women is the commodity we are willing and able to trade for the privilege of dating the people we want to date but would otherwise not be able to touch w/ a 10-foot pole, all things being equal.
Women seem to have a shelf life. Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there.
we all have a shelf life. it's called being dead. so get used to it... because it's all down hill from here.
And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list.
women seldom want to date men noticeably younger than themselves, and the ones that do are often having some personal issues around being able to gracefully accept their increasing age, so again it works both ways. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 12:49:22 PM | I don't give credence to supposed standards. We are who we are and I simply align myself with compatible people.
There is beauty in actions, form, personality etc. Beauty is highly ephemeral and subjective IMO. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 1:14:53 PM | For me, there is a difference between what I find aesthetically pleasing and what I'm sexually attracted to.
Basically, I can find a person perfectly beautiful and still not be attracted. For example, an in shape 25 year old in a bathing suit is beautiful, but I will most likely not be attracted to him because I'm attracted to more mature men these days.
On the other hand, I can be very sexually attracted even though I'm totally aware of a person's "shortcomings" in terms of beauty. In fact, I often find myself more attracted because of little flaws that are very personal to my partner.
In terms of how attractive I am myself, I believe that while I was probably more beautiful, technically speaking, at twenty than I am now, I feel much better about myself now than I ever have before, and that is reflected in the interest that is shown to me by men.
Also, maybe I'm totally deluded, but I think my boyfriend thinks I'm totally hot AND beautiful, and I've never even noticed him looking at another woman in my presence. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 1:37:02 PM | ^^^i like what LilliMarleen had to say! i agree that there are different kinds of beauty. many people are very one-dimensional about what they consider to be beautiful.... so it's only "young" people or it's only one or two kinds of music... whatever. if they are one-dimensional in the sense that they think beauty = youth, and they get stuck in that mindset, then it's only natural that they are going to start feeling pretty uncomfortable as soon as the bloom is off the rose.
i can look at a handsome young man and think "oh there goes a handsome young man", but i could never take him seriously as a potential partner, so i feel zero attraction except for the eye candy factor. so i'm not feeling any personal constraints or sense of loss because of the youth that has now passed me by.... why should i? what would be the purpose?
in the end, we all have different ways of limiting ourselves. so IMO the only question that remains is... what kinds of limitations actually benefit me and make sense? and because i don't see how some arbitrary values that revolve around the superficial idea that "youth = beauty" actually benefit me or make a whole lot of sense, i don't have to burden myself with unresolvable anxieties about how many men are are still looking my way. even if you are young & beautiful, it's only temporary and it's not smart to place your own sense of self-worth in the eyes of your beholders. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 1:58:28 PM | | For what it's worth, I kinda prefer an older woman. She's comfortable in her own skin, has some life experience, knows exactly who she is and what she's about. That quiet self-confidence is *very* attractive. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:08:16 PM |
Women seem to have a shelf life
I don't agree with this.
I enjoy being my age.
I love every moment, as with age comes maturity.
I've met women who have a difficult time with the aging process.
Those are mostly the ones who will not divulge how old they are.
They are insecure, and feel that beauty is all that is important.
That's sad.
I find that men younger have no problem dating me.
Age is only a number.
It is your attitude that attracts, so make yours positive!
\/\/\/\/
EXCELLENT analogy goatdriver! | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:17:19 PM | | I think the "shelf life" thing is a myth perpetualated by the corporations who sell cosmetics that are supposed to make a women look younger.I remember the first time many years ago when a 30 year old woman complained to me that she was over the hill."You must be kidding!" is what I told her.Nobody should get wrapped up in any mass marketting scheme. Give me a mature woman any day because youth is replaced with "Chic". | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:25:37 PM | Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it. Women seem to have a shelf life. Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there. And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list. Is it age, beauty standards
I think women read too many women's magazine and worry far to much what the media is telling them. Women also have the luxury of dating younger men and it is quite common these days and I for one have women up to 7 yrs older on my dating criteria and I don't think that is all that uncommon. I see you have a very broad age range on your profile including men 12 yrs younger.. I will assume you are ok with dating younger men. Are you feeling miffed because you are recieving very few serious messages from 35 yr olds?
We all have a shelf life but in my opinion our expiry date is our expiry date and not some age determined by what is fashionable.
Yes people are over the hill for certain careers than embrace or require youth but we must accept that and find our place at every age. We start out being too young then become the right age and then are too old for a variety of things. I am still too young for Senior's benefits or for someone to take me seriously if I tell them I am practicing for retirement. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:15:31 PM |
'Why does beauty have to equal youth?'
I dunno. In general, what I find attractive is what I find attractive. I seem to find more attractive younger women than older women, but I'm sure that works both ways. I'm pretty sure I looked better with fewer wrinkles and more hair. Does that seem weird to you?
Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it. Women seem to have a shelf life.
Well, there are several of reasons for that.
(1) Women seem to be attracted to older men. We weren't thrilled about that when we were younger, but we aren't going to complain about it when we're older. However, that wasn't our choice. Women made it for us. When women stop dating older men, older men will nt be able to date younger women.
(2) Women have generally valued stability and financial security while men really don't care about that in a mate. I certainly never wondered if a woman had her life all planned out and was financially secure. I cared whether or not I found a woman attractive (and other things that have no connection to age.) Older men are generally the ones who fit the bill for security. Different criteria point to different age groups. Change your criteria and you'll find younger men to date who want to date you.
(3) Women could go after younger men, but not many do. Note the number of younger men who post her complaining about that and the number of women who post here complaining about being hit up on by younger men. Again, that's something only women can change. If you're worried about how dating younger men appears to others, you're imposing that limitation on yourself.
Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there. And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list. Is it age, beauty standards, or what?
Well for one thing, the closer a woman was to my own age, the more difficult she made it to meet her. All else being equal (which is not usually the case), given the choice of meeting someone who is 35 who will meet me without a lot of fuss and meeting someone who is 47 and who is a pain in the butt to meet, who do you think I chose to meet? Correct. The woman who acted like she wanted to meet me. My fiancee is only 5 years younger than me, but she doesn't act her age, so I didn't think about age when I met her. Age has a lot to do with attitude, too. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:55:35 PM | I'm in lillimarleen's camp.
I don't find young girls attractive at all. I've observed myself over ,my lifetime, and found that as I aged, my upper limit of attraction fluctuated much more than my lower range. The lower age for me always seems to be a just a few years younger than me, while the upper range goes back and forth, higher and lower.
For the most part, after the basic shapes and sizes are more or less aligned, what turns me on more than anything else, is the look in the woman's eyes. If I see someone fascinating in there, I am turned on. If she seems vapid, or frighteningly immature, I am turned off. There are VERY few really young women who have the look of wisdom, insight, or experience in their eyes, which connotes a depth of personality, as I tend to find in women my own age. But I also find some STATISTICALLY beautiful women in my own age group, who still have NO interesting character in their faces at all.
But I have to admit, I DO still need the basic shapes and sizes to match up.
As for whether or not you'll see a recognizable change in society at large, I would doubt that VERY much. People as a bunch of critters really haven't changed much in the last ten thousand years, at least. You MIGHT see a small shift on what gets portrayed in commercials, and in movies, but that will be seen to match shift for shift with the change in the average age and SPENDING POWER of women. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 5:26:28 PM | | Beauty doesn't have to equal youth. I'd much rather date someone my own age than a woman 10+ years younger. Sure, a pretty younger woman can turn my head. I'm a guy. But a beautiful woman around my age (and there are lots of them out there, including you, OP) is the one I'll follow with a lingering look. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 6:36:15 PM | | I've always been attracted to men around my age. And as I get older I still find men my age way more attractive than either younger or older ones. Wisdom and experience are also very sexy. IMO | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 9:40:01 PM | Age is pretty much what you make of it. Fear it, and it'll destroy you.
Beauty doesn't have much to do with it. If it's *all* you've got, you're likely already in trubble.
Get on with it; life's awasting, lol!
 | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 11:39:19 PM | | Paddy, I put 35 to 65, and I'm 47. I usually dont date that much younger than me, so 'miffed' at whether not I have emails isnt the point. You have 7 years older as a guide, but how much younger? | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 12:05:00 AM |
I was just reading another thread and thought, 'Why does beauty have to equal youth?'
It doesn't. Never did.
Men are attracted to youth because the female is the most fertile. Whether or not he wants to make a baby.
Do you think that anything will ever change that standard?
Beauty and youth has never been the standard. But you can not argue that youth does look good.
Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, So do women, if they can just get over the BS they have to have something in common with the guy. going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, No. For those of us who can go out with younger women , we do it because we're attracted to her. And the sex is usually hot. Women seem to have a shelf life. Yes. And you women invented the concept of having a shelf life. You women are stuck up on your selves and too worried about what people might think , if you go out with a younger man, just for the sake of getting it on. When your gender can get over yourselves, then you too can enjoy being over 32 and single. Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there. Only in your head. You hold your self back. You think you have a shelf life. Yes, the older men are more attracted to younger women. This is natural, and has always been. Younger men have the same sexual stamina and energy as older women in their 40s. But you're too damn afraid to bed any of them. So stop whining and get over it. And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list. He does if he is poor, or homeless , or makes minimum wage. Is it age, beauty standards, or what? No. Its your own fear. You won't let yourself have sex with a younger man. Going out with someone does not ever need to be about beginning a relationship. Think about it. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 1:00:03 AM | People who are insecure about their age will put only younger people on *their list as a way to feel they still have it.
I prefer not to view age as any type of limit or a way to exclude someone...it is simply a number. I had a man tell me last year he could never date a woman who was older than him; he just didn't feel that was right. I took that as a clue ...about who he was...it was enough for me to realize we wouldnt work cause I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who had such unreasonable limits on their life....
If I am attracted to a man and he isnt attracted to me...so what...it is not that important....people go on and on about how men get to date younger and blah blah blah...but if they are having to date younger cause of a lack inside themselves...do you really feel jealous? Wouldn't you prefer that the person you were with was with you cause they liked you...not your age? | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 1:17:25 AM |
And as I get older I still find men my age way more attractive ... LOL Wait until you're 60. 
Beauty: anyone, anywhere, any age: eat right, exercise, sleep, drink water, good hygiene, sunscreen. It's that simple. Oh, and a decent hairdresser! | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 5:56:53 AM | UncleZeus, you contradicted yourself several times in that post. I wish I had worded my topic to say 'society's view of beauty' instead of making it sound like my own view, but anyway, I'll proofread my topics from now on before posting. As for contradicting yourself, you say youth does look good. Looks better than age? Why? You just said it wasnt true. Not every young person I know takes care of themselves. Not every older person takes care of themselves either. But what is it you find attractive about youth? Your words, 'you have to admit, it looks good'. Unless a product is specifically aimed at aging people (i.e. makeup, Geritol, Depends), you dont see older models or actors advertising it. Another example, you said 'older men have always been attracted to younger men'. Again, why? If its just 'in my own head', why would you use that as a standard and say, 'thats just the way it is'. Please clarify and un-contradict yourself, lol..
And by the way, I do regularly get emails from 20's, 30's up to 70's men. The 20's and 30's will invariably say, 'you look good for your age'. Ok, so would I look good if I were say, ten years younger, and looked the same as I do at this age? | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 7:20:40 AM | You have 7 years older as a guide, but how much younger
The same number of years as you but I did not start a thread indicating that there is a problem with being past it over the age of 45. Twelve years younger ( when I was 51 ) and 7 yrs older ( when I was 35 ) is the youngest and oldest I have ever dated that is part of the basis for my age settings.
OP despite the fact that there are some of us that age very well I can't think of anybody who looks better in thier 40's or 50's than they did in their 20's or 30's unless they overcame a significant weight problem, or a disease or had a significant amount of plastic surgury. | |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 7:36:22 AM | The standards in beauty are changing by the minute.
Do you realize, folks, that Aunt Bee (the Andy Griffith Show) was age 58-66 during the filming of that program? That was the standard of beauty and appearance back in the 60's (the program ran from 1960 to 1968) for women of that age. Helen Mirren is 66--that's the standard of beauty and appearance for women of that age now. It's really a paradigm shift. Maybe the idea of older women and younger men will be more acceptable in the near future too; only time will tell.
And by the way, I do regularly get emails from 20's, 30's ...men
I get (got, before I set up a ton of mail restrictions) mail from men in their 20's and 30's and I don't even have a picture up. They don't care what you look like, Hun. I've read this same thing over and over again and checked out the profiles and truly it does not matter what the woman looks like. It is the age they are honing in on. Sorry to rain on your parade and burst your bubble.
Age is pretty much what you make of it. Fear it, and it'll destroy you. Good point.
I think women read too many women's magazine and worry far to much what the media is telling them I'd have to count back in years to remember when I last read a woman's magazine. Truth is, I can't remember the last time.....it's not senility; it's just been a hell of a long time. :0
| |
|
| Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:02:53 AM | | Velma, again, I should have stated my post differently. I wasnt talking about anyone hitting or not hitting on me. I was talking about society's perception of beauty equalling youth. As you said, 'standard of beauty FOR HER AGE'. Yes, both Aunt Bee and Helen Mirren are beauties. For their ages. So, had they been a different age, would they have been as lovely? Aging happens to us all. And I believe our age group has become the largest demographic, right? Still, we have 18 year old models and actors endorsing the average everyday product. Airbrushing out flaws, wrinkles, laugh lines, or anything that doesnt give the appearance of youth. | |
|
|
|
|
Page
1
of
13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
|
|
Home
login 
