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 AUTHOR
 T,D and H
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 1
Casual dating - the rulesPage 1 of 1    
Here are some thoughts on the rules of casual dating:

1. Casual means easy, fun and not complicated. Keep it simple.

2. Time committments are minimal. When it suits both your schedules you get together because you want to. Keep it regular enough to maintain interest but not so much that it requires significant sacrifices or effort. Remember rule #1.

3. The dating part implies that you do care for the other person, obviously if you are intimate there is going to be some emotions involved. Keep it under control and keep it to yourself. Once you venture into the realm of discussing it with the other person you violate Rule #1.

4. Don't discuss the other people you are dating (if any). Your casual lover deserves to know if you are getting busy with others but leave it at that. If you are engaging in risky behaviour, your casual lover deserves to know about it too. That is it. Any more information makes things messy and again....see the first rule.

5. Keep the lines of communication open and always be honest with each other. Because it's easy going, you have little to lose so don't waste anyone's time with lies.



Everything else I can think of off the top of my head falls under one of these rules.....

Any thoughts or rules that need to be added?
 trvlingman
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 2
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/20/2005 10:27:38 PM
dont mix signals.
say what your expecting
 K&M~House~of~Evil
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 3
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/20/2005 10:28:41 PM
^^^ Very nice, He must be a sensative man?

What is Casual dating vs normal dating??? ohh yeah...it's called going DUTCH. (lame)



 T,D and H
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 4
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/20/2005 11:27:57 PM
I wish it were going dutch....I'd save a bundle!

And the difference with regular dating and casual dating is that "normal" dates typically are expected to go somewhere. The normal daters are working towards something more - the casual daters simply accept what is and enjoy it.
 crazyowl
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 5
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/20/2005 11:38:30 PM
i think this is pretty much the same with 'friends with benefits'. or maybe i'm wrong. but you're very right. i was involved some time ago in something like that. and i broke the 1st rule... i got involved a little too much, even though she told me she's gonna date other people.
 Al Paulchino
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 6
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 12:35:44 AM
These are the rules that the "players" at heart need to read every day...to avoid losing their dignity and respect from the opposite sex....

I've got another one:
If your dates constantly leave their stuff lying around your house...get a big bowl and leave it by the door...no more searching...at least for you!
 HAHANOW
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 7
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 12:37:02 AM
alway spilt the freakin check!
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 8
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 1:23:11 AM
@TDH...hiya pal..........




OT...
casual dating is tiring.......especially when they dont read your profile properly......
I get plenty of mail..so I just stopped deleting...its now a 5 page scroll.......
met many in person....but no takers......only comments like "you do exist" whatever that is supposed to mean.

I do agree with you ..the question whether you are dating anyone else...is annoying especially coming from those you are meeting for the first time....
This is what I do...I throw the question back..."are You ?" she replies "NO"....I respond "well you should" then for some reason she stops contacting or forwarding you good jokes...LOL



add another rule.....read the profile CAREFULLY.....

I remember one date where she was shocked I smoke........says so in my profile "smokes often"


Another rule to add is......take periodical breaks to break the monotony...which im doing now...to catch up on reading...beer...pool with the guys...life is not all about dating......
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 2:07:36 AM
As to a woman dating others, "well, you should". Excellent, as always, carrib. I, however, don't find it annoying at all.

I'm always delighted when I find that my first date is currently dating others. It tells me several things:

1) She's popular and desireable.

2) Chances are she's not going to get overly needy and desperate right away, and stage one-sided conversations on the second date as to where "our relationship stands".

3) I'll be challenged to be a better man in relation to her other daters/lovers.
 ¤°§åüçêy§oul§pinr°¤
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 10
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 3:57:26 AM
I'd have to think of more, but my main rules on casual dating rules are:
1. NO kissing from me to you, You can kiss me tho. (it's too personal for me)
2. Keep it ruff (making love is for ppl in love)
3. "No you can't meet my kid!"

For me to keep it casual, I have to do these three things not to get my feelings involved.
 Rachele_johnston
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 11
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 9:21:26 AM
I think the key to casual dating is... there are no rules. U do what u want with whomever u want, for as long as u want. I think everyone young should do this, experience life and people, but I gotta tell ya, it does get old after a while and eventually ull prolly wanna settle down with someone (im at that stage lol,,, but where is he??)
 fishbill
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 12
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 10:10:54 AM
This is friking amazing, not that I know much about "casual dating" or why or who that I always thought meant the "first few dates"....but that this is the second time in 6 months I have seen a dude mention another dudes posts in agreement! Now thats what I call a sensitve man. Lets take a collection for the Golden Condom (no its not filled with piss), get your minds out of the gutter.
 T,D and H
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 13
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 11:26:16 AM
@Al...well I completely disagree with the player thing - in fact, it's kind of insulting but that is just me, I guess. In my mind, a player will lie and manipulate women to get sex - casual dating is something both people walk into with eyes wide open. There is no "playing", in fact, it's way more straight forward than what passes for "normal".

@Rachele....Well you've moved through this stage in your life by the age of twenty? LOL I wish you the best with the quest for prince charming and all that but keep this idea in the back of your mind for when you are finished school, have a career and aren't interested in devoting your entire existence to a guy. Keeping things casual lets you focus on other things and I do agree, it's a nice place to visit but it's no way to live your whole life.
 Rachele_johnston
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 14
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 8:25:18 PM
I wasnt saying im ready to devote my whole life, i said im ready to slow down with the whole casual sex random dating crap, ready to have a steady boyfriend, and ya at the age of 20 i am ready. I always wanted to be a young wife and young mother. Age has nothing to do with it, its all experience, and like I said, Ive had mine.
Thanks for the advice though
 sweetness-one
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 15
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 9:48:21 PM
dayum t d and h, your musings are certainly...inspired? to someone who herself is currently not in a position to do much more than "casually date" due to her current career choice. It's also good to see some others here agreeing that people who are currently casually dating can be honest enough with themselves (and to the people they are casually dating) to realize what their own capabilities are at any given point regarding relationships.

Might just be me, but I also think a bit of distance (I mean travelling distance) between people who are casually dating should be added, since you asked for further suggestions to your "rules"? lol, that way, no fear of the dreaded "pop-in" or wanting to see each other more frequently if you're not living that near to each other, the distance itself helps keep things on a more "casual" level?
 Belladona
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 16
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 10:36:35 PM
I like those rules t,d, and h.... Keep it simple, keep it honest and keep it casual.

Bell
 T,D and H
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 17
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/21/2005 11:27:53 PM
Wow, all these fine ladies approving of casual dating...maybe the future won't necessarily be overrun with Bible thumping zealots after all?

btw, sweetness...love that new pic! Yowza

And the distance thing is an excellent addition. I find not seeing someone who is close at hand is bit of a turn off whereas seeing someone when there is some effort involved is a total turn on...you might have something there!
 sweetness-one
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 18
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 7/22/2005 12:43:43 AM
@ t d and h....thanks!
 wykkidd
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 19
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:59:21 AM
I think the term "casual dating" is a cop out....It seems to me that it is really no more than
"friends with benefits"...and it allows the person the option of saying "well it was only casual" when and if someone better comes along..as well no real effort needs to be put into the relationship because again...it was only "casual dating"...
 luvnthatswirl
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 20
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 6/3/2006 4:59:54 AM
Nope.... not in MY book.

"Casual dating" is when two adults can go out (or stay in) and have a good time enjoying each other's company, with no expectations. Casual dating DOES NOT MEAN casual sex. Both parties are aware that the other is dating other people (dating does not necessarily mean having sex with) and are okay with it. Neither is looking for long-term commitment (marriage) or a steady relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) of any kind, but does enjoy the companionship of the opposite sex.

"Friends with benefits" (I hate that stupid term) involves CASUAL SEX, which is NOT casual dating.
 Esperanza143
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 21
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:13:36 AM
If I am casually dating...I often go in my own car..meet somewhere, pay my share...and enjoy company...these are the guys that you can call on short notice and say "hey, what ya doing?" " wanna go shoot couple games of pool and have a beer?"
 jmadsenhouse
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 22
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:19:04 AM
So can you do the casual dating and have sex lol
 Marsupial
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 23
Casual dating - the rules
Posted: 6/3/2006 6:10:37 AM
Rules were meant to be broken.

If i have a casual, ever, and i see that gleam in her eyes it's done. Casual is over.

Why would anyone want to waste their time with a situation they KNOW is not going anywhere.

If the magicical sparks not there, Cupid's not around, and you are wasting your time.

Stupid rules of engagement. bleh.

My advice......

Slink thru the tall grass at the watering hole, making as little noise as possible. get yourself close enough........ POUNCE!!
Bring her back to the lair, dinner is served.

Oh and never forget that line about the hunter being hunted. You could be caught, caged and laden with chains. Or wind up on the stewpot yourself, heh, which of course wouldn't be bad.
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