| | If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 1 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
John | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:38:57 AM | A moral obligation to provide for a woman you're not married to or living with? Owe it to her? I don't think so. Where did you get such a notion? If she can't provide for herself and her kids, she's not good relationship material.
Not unless it's just for babysitting expenses, so you can have time alone together, or unless you are married or living together.
Otherwise, there's a word for a man giving a woman money for being involved with him, and it has nothing to do with morals or good relationship material. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:47:12 AM | No, there is no moral/ethical/legal obligation.
If he chooses on his own free will to do some nice things for her simply because he wants to and it is his choice to do so, that is one thing, and that is fine, but if one wants to pay someone to pay attention to them, and see's attention and affection as something to be bought, an escort would be cheaper and quicker.
I would stay away from anyone who charged for their companionship as if it were a business transaction.
Edit: If YOU feel that you should be helping out if you date a Mom, do so, nothing wrong with doing what comes from your heart and what feels right for you.
However? Stay far far far away from anyone who expects and demands it, rather than appreciates it. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 11:45:37 AM | | You must be dellusional... F**K NO! That is repugnant! Yeah, I`d find just as much morality with a 5 dollar hooker then a mother who expects me to support her and her kid finacially right off the bat. That`s not even old fashioned or showing chivalry. "Let me get that door for you, oh yeah here`s a 50 for the date" lol. It kind of pisses me off that this is even a viable thought. I think that single mothers are lucky to find someone who will accept that he is and will almost always be second best. Yeah, I`d go for an escort rather watch a mother prostitute herself out for a date. I mean tht in the most umoffensive way possible. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:02:23 PM | WTF mate?
If you wanna be a doormat and an ATM, I know a perfect black girl for you. She has 2 kids, and I have heard her complain that this guy that wanted to date her "wouldn't give her money when he got paid."
She is cute, when she's concerned about more than getting a couple bucks for cigarettes, and liquor. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:17:57 PM | I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
John
You are a total idiot. For one quit making advances on Terra. She wants you to leave her alone. Got it ?
Now to answer your stupid question. No a man dating a woman who has kids DOESN"T owe her anything. He has NO moral OBLIGATION to provide anything for her kids.That is their FATHER'S OBLIGATION.
Now on the flip side any woman with kids who is dating a guy and thinks that this guy is obligated to provide for her kids; go slap yourself for being selfish. Then if you still think the guy you're dating is obligated to provide for your kids,thats cool, just keep in mind that you are now obligated to provide for his d**k. If he provides for your kids he d**n sure deserves it. Have a nice day | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 2:13:13 PM | If you are just "dating", then it is the biological parent's responsibility to care for the child financially. You do not "owe" the child anything, and really, you shouldn't be getting involved in caring for the child until you are more serious anyways to avoid confusion for the child with a rotating door of men coming in and out of his/her life. If you still are keen on "providing", I would suggest you do it in a more subtle way - you can be a gentleman and pay for the dates, etc.
If you are more serious (engaged/married/etc.), then I think the household financial responsibilities should be combined. Additionally, if you are at that stage, then you should be looking at the fact that you will be becoming a role model for the child, and a parental figure as well (even if you aren't the biological parent) because you will be taking on the male role in the home. So yes, everything should just be equal at that stage.
That's my 2 cents... | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 5:51:48 PM | What kind of women are you dating OP, no woman with more than a modicum of intelligence and doesn't eat at KFC or Popeyes would even consider that? That has to be one of the dumbest things Ive read lately, good lord.
Lots of women in Section 8 that will take you up on that, but secure women would kick you to the curb for being so stupid.
Look..... I get it if you're living together yes, but dating? give your head a shake... and by the way why are you hitting on a 18 year old? what are you Merv the perv? Terramay is the same age as my second oldest Goddaughter and I showed her( my goddaughter) this thread and she went Ewwwww, what kind of guy in his late thirties would hit on a 18 year old ? | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:00:47 PM |
Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
... gasp, gasp, gasp...
Dude, man, bro ... you really need to get some espresso and wake the frick up !
Thanks for the laugh - I had to clean my screen though cuz I was sipping my drink while I was reading ! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:13:44 PM | | I am a single mother and would NEVER expect a man to help with my expenses. I feel bad when someone pays for my drinks or meal. I make my own money and know how to handle my finances. I would find it insulting if a man wanted to help pay bills or buy my child things. Being someone's sugar daddy is just wrong. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:16:26 PM | If the guy is ok with the woman viewing him as her own bank account, then yes.
I would look more into the why, what and where...
Why can't she provide for her kids? If she is a two pack a day, beer drinking bar fly, then I would run.
What are her plans of fixing her financial position? If she is addicted to the day spa, and not working.. refer to answer in the why section.
Where are we in this relationship? Just starting out - no way. If we had been together, and she lost her job, then maybe. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 11:52:17 PM | Short answer... NO!!
Longer answer- if she is willing to let you pay from the get go she is:
1) A gold digger
2) An airhead
3) Irresponsible
4) Lacking in self esteem
5) Lacking in ambition
6) A poor role model for her children
I brought up my daughter alone for 10 years with not one red cent from her dad... in fact he often bludged from me  When I entered a relationship after those 10 years I knew how to budget, save and earn a good living and I would have been offended if a man assumed I couldn't manage my finances. There is NO financial obligation of ANY kind in a dating relationship.
And stay away from teenagers  | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:31:29 AM | | I actually find your message quite offensive. I was left homeless when pregnant by my partner and have had to struggle bringing my daughter up who is disabled and needs alot of care making it difficult to work. I try to give as many hours as I can to a charity that helps homeless people when I can but due to the nature of my daughters disabilty I cannot work regular hours. I don't believe that just because I am struggling financially that makes me a poor relationship material! It was my ex who dumped me to go off with a rich woman too!! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:41:20 AM | Oh and I don't drink or smoke or even go out socially and have to buy my clothes from charity shops to get by. So yes, if a guy wanted to take me to a restaurant me he would need to pay as I have nothing spare but I am equally happy going for nice walks. I would of course cook dinner in return and I never expect to go anywhere fancy. If my date offered to put petrol in my car I would accept, it doesn't mean though that I would sleep with him for it!!!
The reason so many kids are messed up these days is due to absent mothers working instead of giving their child the love and attention they need. My daughter has Aspergers and really struggles with many things but she is polite, kind, insightful and intelligent. Qualities I doubt she would of had if she was farmed out. Some of you should be disgusted with your comments! | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 1:27:31 PM | Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Dear John,
WTF planet are you from...The mom has a financial responsibility to herself and her kids...you have a financial responsibility to take care of yourself...if you co-habit then adjust....but, jaysus chryste on a stick...forking over money to her because she shows attention is in effect making her prostitute herself and you are aiding and abetting. | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 2:20:27 PM | I'm sorry, OP, I have to give you a call from 21st Century Planet Earth, where women are allowed to own property, and non-custodial parents are required to financially assist the custodial parent.
I cannot start to enumerate the things that are wrong in your assumptions, but I'll try:
- Should a woman only spend time with a man in exchange for financial benefits? I thought they both get something out of it.
- Is a single mother only good to spend time with her kids, and any minute away from them requires financial compensation? I beg to differ.
- You characterize all of that as a "moral obligation", which book do you take this moral out of?
What can I say, beats me. If I were a woman, I'd take major offense to what you describe as being "old fashioned". | |
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| If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 2:22:36 PM |
Dear OP,
Please refrain from adding me to your favorite list every time I remove you.
You are the same age as my parents. If you try contacting me I will block you.
Your advances are very unwelcomed.
-Terra
[sarcasm]
Weren't you listening? He'll *pay* you to date him....
[/sarcasm] | |
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