| | Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?Page 1 of 1 | I'm a newbie. Been here just about a week and have noticed a couple of things that make me wonder if people even bother reading the stuff you have to actually have to think about and type out!
At first, I thought it was just because men (at least most I know) are visual. If they saw my picture and I fit into their definition of attractive, that they would just message without bothering to read my blurb. I took my pictures down and although that greatly reduced my responses, even still - it's quite obvious that some are just serial messaging, rather like a flyer drop (yanno, drop 10,000 direct mailers and you might get a sale)
I actually put up a disclaimer - asking specifically NOT to be contacted with certain content - but yet it has still flowed in. What's up with that? If a woman is not oozing sexuality in her profile or making some reference to wanting a fling or the such, how can anyone of sound mind send a message with their penile dimensions? Or how about "see MY Wong"
Really?
smh.
Maybe my profile is too long and I need to scale it back. But dayum, I hope to meet men who have a 60 second attention span. Too much to ask?
20% vent, 80% advice - Do profiles get read start to stop? Should they be two liners?
MzWong
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:40:36 PM | Nope.
Just look at the pic.
and then give it a quick glance
to figure out an email angle.
There is really no need to read a novel of every little nook and cranny
within her soul unless she replies.
And without a picture....
I wouldn't even bother reading yours at all.
hope this helps. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:42:22 PM | Well I think it goes something like this ( don't quote me)
horn dogs don't read messages, they are too busy cut and pasting
Nice guys ( boring, insecure, whinny doormats) reads them but most are too shy to email you
bad guys rarely reads them, if you look good that's good enough in most cases
Confident guys will read, comment and doesn't hold their breath waiting for a reply because he knows its a 50/50 shot.
Extremely attractive guys depending on their brain power may comment and then turns the conversation on how wonderful he is.
And some don't care to read negative profiles at all
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:46:51 PM | What you have probably effectively done...is eliminate the one's that you might be interested in. Most serious men will not message someone without photo's. To me...it give the impression you are hiding something. The one's that do not care about your looks or profile content will continue to message you.
Men and women are visual. It's mostly what we have to turn someones head...online or IRL. More often than not...we turn more heads than our heads are turned. If you can turn someones head with a bag over your head...than you have turned the head of someone that could care less if you have a bag over your head.
Good luck with that.
The fact of the matter is...is yes...many do send out mass messages. That is because the return rate from women is minuscule. Men that send out a message at a time and wait for a reply find themselves mastering solitaire very quickly. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:49:09 PM | Yes, I read the profiles....most are not very long for something to comment on for an email.
I wouldnt email anybody complaining or being negative in their profile like you have posted.......esp. about sex.....sounds like you are just looking for attention. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:52:41 PM | Thanks for the answer, it makes perfect sense :)
I guess maybe I'm missing the point of online "dating" - Without having the luxury of seeing a person in RL, mannerisms, swagger or whatever - you have very little information to go on to make a decision. You might see a picture, and you get to read a few lines of a profile. Without that, it's just like picking up a pound puppy - look at the cutest one without factoring in their temperament.
Idk, maybe that *is* the point and I'm the moron trying to extract a tiny piece of a persons personality. Don't get me wrong, I too want to meet those that I am physically attracted to - it's just I know it takes more than just that to establish a connection.
Isn't that why we go through the whole writing a profile exercise? | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:55:34 PM | Yes, I read the profiles....most are not very long for something to comment on for an email.
I wouldnt email anybody complaining or being negative in their profile like you have posted.......esp. about sex.....sounds like you are just looking for attention.
Thank you for your reply - No, I'm not looking for attention. I'm simply curious about the site and the dynamics. I made an observation and wanted the feedback of some men.
It was my understanding that this is the purpose of this forum...
Cheers | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:00:18 PM | I read the whole profile if I'm interested enough to send a message. But it's the pictures that bring me in to read the profile. If the obnoxious messages are too annoying, then you'll have to send the first message out and attach a private picture with it.
But seriously, ALL the Transformer movies? Even the director admits the second one bites. I know I'd message you in a heartbeat - clearly you have no taste and have a weakness for complete messes. You're just the sort of woman who could appreciate me. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:02:13 PM | | For a woman to get responses on here all her profile has to say is "female." If you want quality, this site is not for you. You will get tons of messages because, yes, some men do mass-message on here because they are not receiving a reply. It is exactly like your analogy of the sending out fliers hoping for a sale. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:02:41 PM |
Isn't that why we go through the whole writing a profile exercise?
I view a profile as an advertizement. It's what YOU think about YOU. And...it's well documented that between misrepresentations in word or ancient photo's...that nothing is "real" until you witness it IRL. Both for men and women.
And...while it may be attractive that one is self-confident...it matters more to me what I think/feel about you. I'm not going to get that from a photo or a brief profile. What I might get...again...is interested in a meeting. Until you are before me...you are not real.
Edit:
Let's turn the tables just a bit. Don't tell me that one of your first (if not the first) determining factors for you decision to reply or not...isn't based on attraction. If you DON'T find him attractive you will not reply. Correct? You can be the exception to the rule...but if we were honest...looks matter. We just feel we'd be considered shallow if we admit it. So...here it is... Hi...I'm Revilors...and looks matter. (everyone in unison)..."Hi Revilors. It's step one...of 10. | |
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MzWong
| | Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:06:26 PM | Lol. No taste.. Nice! - What can I say to that... 
I have been doing the private picture thing (well since I figured that feature out a couple days ago!)
I don't really have anything else negative to state about this site - I have chatted with some decent men already and who knows if any of them will pan out. It's all about the experience and I'm just trying to maximize mine.
Thanks for the response | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:13:28 PM | Well again us guys are lazy.
We won't "guess" how you look and email you.
cus alot of plain girls pull that.
so you won't get much interest aside from bottom feeders who spam everyone.
However, you can add pictures to your profile and keep them hidden from view.
Just attach them to guys you email.
And with no pictures,
you will have to email guys first. | |
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MzWong
| | Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 14 | |
| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 9:44:14 PM |
Let's turn the tables just a bit. Don't tell me that one of your first (if not the first) determining factors for you decision to reply or not...isn't based on attraction. If you DON'T find him attractive you will not reply. Correct? You can be the exception to the rule...but if we were honest...looks matter. We just feel we'd be considered shallow if we admit it. So...here it is... Hi...I'm Revilors...and looks matter. (everyone in unison)..."Hi Revilors. It's step one...of 10.
I agree completely, being attracted to a person is of paramount importance. I don't deny that. But for *me* (and for the record, I'm sure I'm not the exception to any rule) - I need someone I can have a conversation with too. A smoking hot guy that might contact me with a BS message would not get a reply...
I have had both message exchanges and IM's with men that I didn't really find attractive but I liked their personality. Sometimes people grow on you but you wont get to to know that if you don't try and know them...
I might be a little too utopian :) Will work on that! | |
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mohoss
| | Joined: 7/12/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:11:56 PM | I think that depends on what the person's intentions are with you, and the nature of the person in general. Some people base their standards solely on how one looks (only to complain about everything else later).
Remember that there's a whole variety of people out there. All those douche bags out there with a shallow mindset exist on here too. You have trash and quality everywhere.
Personally, I read them all if there's a physical attraction - to see if it sounds like we match beyond that. But I'm also looking for a relationship, so that's very important to me. Not everyone out there is. Nor do they bother to check what the person they are e-mailing is looking for.
But, females do this too. I have a profile on another dating site. There's been hundreds of women who contacted me, but only ONE who viewed my profile. I swear, the e-mails keep rolling in, but the view count remains at 1. They see my picture, and want to meet up. They also don't seem to realize that SOUTH Carolina is different from NORTH Carolina. Not many people are smart or deep. Just accept it. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:17:45 PM | | I have gone through at least a 100 replies to my ad, weeding out the ones responding outside my age preference (I'm 45 so therefore am apparently an automatic cougar, uggg) , found one nice one finally said he was into a relationship.... (wrong) he just wanted to sleep with me. Final deduction, off this website anyways, pof men just want to cheat on their girlfriends, wives, or just sleep around. Good Luck in you're search girl, I've have deduced to remain single. :-) | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:38:23 PM | found one nice one finally said he was into a relationship.... (wrong) he just wanted to sleep with me.
You picked one that had all the right lies in his embellished profile..
Then he said all the right things that he thought you wanted to hear..
And it worked.. For him..
So he has been trained to do it all over again for his next conquest..
Try choosing the less-than perfect sounding nice guy next time, listen and be alert for his ACTIONS louder than just his words.. That imperfect sometimes seemingly "boring" "nice guy" might just stick around.. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/2/2011 11:54:03 PM | Alas, males are truly looking for Ms. Right, and you offer them ... MzWong.
I'm not sure how one would even begin measuring such things. If it were after swimming or playing basketball, it doesn't seem like millimeter units would be all that impressive.
To really answer your question, OP, which by the way I read, I don't read all of many ladies profiles. I did read yours, but normally I wouldn't bother after the "occasional" indication for smoking. But, if I wish to write a lady, I do read her profile thoroughly. Usually I try to say something slightly witty, and it is useful to have some focal point for my limited creativity.
I must admit that it is nice just to have a person or two respond kindly, it does make up for the few comments that are truly awkward, incomprehensible, rude, or non-existent. So maybe the best policy would be 20% hope and 80% acceptance. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/3/2011 12:00:21 AM |
some are just serial messaging,
That is one effective tactic. The other is profiling.
You're 34, a smoker, a social drinker, no children, you're a leader [in management], you specifically request no dimensions of the guys stuff. You indicate you get lots of random hook up requests, your longest relationship was 10 yrs, you're 34, so that can mean minimum experience with males...etc etc...
So all that puts a hypothetical image in a guys mind. Now he takes a shot, tries to meet you and prove one way or the other.
I actually put up a disclaimer - asking specifically NOT to be contacted with certain content - but yet it has still flowed in.
Of course. Why? Because this the same as "Come and get me". The men who do not intimidate easy will take this up as challenge.
If a woman is not oozing sexuality in her profile
You may not be "Oozing it", but you're certainly leaking it. "Smoker", "Drinker", 34, no children, "No hookups", you say you're cute and funny...basically, put that together, that says you have high percentage chance of being attractive or at least willing to party.
And as a side note, you don't want to say you want a cute funny man. That will attract the shy , the men who are not sure if they are gay or straight. Straight men don't generally think of themself as "Cute".
or making some reference to wanting a fling or the such,
You're a drinker and a smoker, you don't mind what goes into your body, so there is high chance you could be persuaded into a fling.
how can anyone of sound mind send a message with their penile dimensions?
The very bold, or the hinky. Your crackerjack prize, if you do choose to meet them. | |
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pasmal
| | Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 20 | |
| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:14:08 AM | You have to send the msgs, or you'll have an inbox of weirdos. I used to once in a blue moon, but actually was accused of cut/paste when my msg was far too offbeat for that. I think it's the knee jerk skepticism or whathave you, the "recipient arrogance" which afflicts men as well as women/overly high or specific expectations.
OP--setting up profile to address losers sending x rated pics lowers you.
I'd rewrite it as if these men don't exist and act accordingly.
OT: once I saw a pic I actually liked, but unfortunately we had nothing in common. He had excessively boyish interests and I grew weary though he was around my age. I just didn't have the heart. I cannot contact based on hey you're cute. I need to be able to ..speak each other's language and take pleasure in life on some common plateau, something. The reason I know is my past is littered with people I had no business hanging around, who simply liked my look of the moment, not me particularly. Contrasted with men I met in school who liked similar things, this was quite another level of attraction and one that was ultimately more satisfying. | |
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| Do you read profiles thoroughly before making contact?
Posted: 8/3/2011 2:13:25 AM | I absolutely read every word of a profile because what a woman says about herself -- what she wants you to know and how she conveys it -- to me, that says everything.
But, hey, I make my living with words. I know I'm an exception. :) | |
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